Heh Ahers! D'ye reckon we could write a screenplay?

AskMyChocolate

From my time on here, I am certain that there is the depth and breadth of knowledge,experience and humour to do it.

Probably, more importantly, I'm certain that there is enough humanity or exposure to a lack of it to do it.

I'm not sure that we have the technical skills, and so, I am nominating Pickarooney as project manager. But, as with all things in AH, it is a democracy, so does anyone think that someone else would make a better project manager?


My plan is that everyone submits a subject for a project that they think would make a good film.

Decided on by the most thanks as per democracy.

Then we move on to the next phase. What are the most important things, relevant to this subject.

And so to pacing etc.

By the end of the process (after lengthy discussion and pints obviously :pac:) we keep the best scenes,lines, punchlines and denouement.

I could never spell that word.

So what do ye think?


And if Bluewolf tells me to go to bed again, I will inform her that statistically there's a good chance I'm already there.

cocoshovel

Dole scrounging foreigners!

Mr. Rager

Jaws 3

Copper_pipe

titanic

Where To

Tagline;

One thankswhore's quest to gain the respect of his peers


Thanked by a fellow user - smiling ear to ear.

Thanked by a mod - that warm and fuzzy feeling inside

Thanked by an admin - better than sex



Work in progress, needs to be beefed out a little bit.

The King of Moo

I suggest a slasher film with the killer wearing a mask with a design of the "o" in the boards logo on it.

The most handsome and virile posters can play the victims, with a prominent female poster playing the final girl, and a right-wing extremist poster as the killer.

"Boardsface Killah?"

"Now Ye're Dying?"

mikemac1

Which two posters will be the love interest?

Who is the cutest couple in AH?

Actually, I don't think I want to know

Mr. Rager

Jesus Christ Superstar: The Musical!

Starring Atheists and Agnostics

mikemac1

Mr. Rager wrote: »

Starring Atheists and Agnostics

Can we burn them like the heretics they are?

I'm in

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Bipolar Joe

I'm working on one already, "Kitten Apocalypse."

Mr.Biscuits

Movie about some guy who starts a thread on a popular discussion forum asking them to help him write a screenplay only for it to work and go on to make millions but because Choco is broke, he sues everyone else and ends being hated more than Bono.

At the Oscars Choco gets up and starts crying and says he's being portrayed poorly in the media and it's all lies but that it was his idea and so it's only he got more cash. This results in the Hollywood elite booing Choco and so he flips out and starts smacking a few A-listers in the front row.

Can't remember if when I started this post it was going be about the script or about what happens after the movie comes out. I've confused myself - oh I know, I'll do what I did at school when I was tried of writing my essays for homework and just wanted to go to bed:

"Suddenly Choco woke up and it had all just been a bad dream..".

AskMyChocolate

Domo230 wrote: »

COMING THIS SUMMER

DANNY DAVITO IS


FACEKICKER*





*Rated R for retarded

Watch as facekicker battles yore ma and her army of immigrant public sector workers in an epic struggle for the afterhours that will leave you blasted with piss.

Y'see that's the sort of lateral thinking that's required:

Coming soon,

"The Story of Boards 2: Retribution"

With Bree Olsen as "DeV", Gerard McSorley as "Zaph", Brendan Gleeson (in an academy award nominated role*) as "Gordon", Charlene McKenna, Sinead Cusack, Ciaran Hinds,


AND, Paris Hilton, in a cameo performance as "Dr.Bollocko"

Princess Peach

A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!

Super-Rush

After Hours presents, The Odd Couple.

Staring Outlawpete and Dudess.

Now with added popcorn.

stupidusername

mikemac1 wrote: »

Which two posters will be the love interest?

Who is the cutest couple in AH?

Me and mine! the best looking couple anyway :cool:

The King of Moo wrote: »

I suggest a slasher film with the killer wearing a mask with a design of the "o" in the boards logo on it.

The most handsome and virile posters can play the victims, with a prominent female poster playing the final girl, and a right-wing extremist poster as the killer.

"Boardsface Killah?"

"Now Ye're Dying?"

I actually quite like that!

Princess Peach wrote: »

A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!

ooh intriguing!

AskMyChocolate

Princess Peach wrote: »

A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!

That's actually a fcuking great storyline for a rom/com. It makes the one I had for a thriller seem like crap.

*chucks screenplay in the bin dismissively :mad:*


\ Googles "plagiarism"

Princess Peach

And maybe one of them could be the type who always posts the first hilarious reply to a thread on after hours, and the other could be the one who always complains about the lack of intelligence of those posters. And they have had fights on threads without even knowing!

Bipolar Joe

Domo230 wrote: »

That would make a really cute indie movie.

Michael cera has to star as the male boardsie. He's the only actor awkward enough for the role.

Great, the movie is already terrible and it's only the second page.

Doc

This had to be about Trent, The Madman!

But is there an actor alive who could pull off the role?

AskMyChocolate

Super-Rush wrote: »

After Hours presents, The Odd Couple.

Staring Outlawpete Freddie59 and Dudess. Thrown together by circumstance. Driven apart by Ideology.

Each needing each other.

Two lost souls in a world that no longer cares.

Now with added popcorn.

(Neither one prepared to pay for the other's in real terms)

FYP

The King of Moo

12 Angry Men: A lone poster in a thread on social welfare payments bravely sticks to their guns and uses cold hard logic and facts to disagree with the other 11 posters who all claim immigrants get free cars.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: A bewildered newbie has their stupid thread moved to The Cuckoo's Nest by a mod; confusion and hilarity ensues.

The Usual Suspects: A thread about religion or Irish women being b*tches is started in AH; confusion and no hilarity ensues.

Spirited Away: A poster writes a long, passionate post in response to an outrageous OP, only to find when they click "submit post" that the thread has been deleted.

The Third Man: A gritty, depressing drama about a poster who always posts a witty reply just after the first person in a thread to do so, and slowly sinks into a spiral of despair over their lack of thanks.

The Prestige: A poster gets Post of the Day for the first time, lets the fame and glory get to their head.

The Town: Mystery Thriller in which a group of posters attempt to figure out which town the OP is referring to.

Network: A poster writes a long, impassioned populist rant about things not being as good as they used to be, which immediately gets lots and lots of thanks. Closer inspection reveals the OP to be a lunatic.

PM, I Love You: A female poster who hasn't logged on for a while finds her inbox full of creepy PMs from a banned user.

TheBegotten

The Flatmate

Based on Duggy747's experience.

YLYL: Teh Movie- plagarise to represent reposts.

Also, something about a trolls home life.

mackg

A modern take on Schindler's List, a kind hearted forum moderator ninja edits peoples posts correcting spelling mistakes and the like to save them from the grammar Nazis.

The King of Moo

You Laugh, You Lose: Graphic Japanese horror in which a sadistic killer kidnaps a group of teenagers and chains them up in a dank basement. Each teenager is shown a variety of funny pictures, and if they laugh even once, they're brutally tortured until they die.

I'd say you could probably get at least two sequels out of it.

AskMyChocolate

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Great, the movie is already terrible and it's only the second page.

Joe, JOE, calm down! We're getting ahead of ourselves. There'll be plenty of time to kick the face off each other on casting issues once we get it "green-lighted". :pac:

Which of course we will. Leave it to Princess Peach. She's the only storyline yet.

mackg

The King of Moo wrote: »

You Laugh, You Lose: Graphic Japanese horror in which a sadistic killer kidnaps a group of teenagers and chains them up in a dank basement. Each teenager is shown a variety of funny pictures, and if they laugh even once, they're brutally tortured until they die.

I'd say you could probably get at least two sequels out of it.

And just like the real YLYL everyone will complain that the original was far better than the sequels.

AskMyChocolate

Bridge on the River Kwai: A despotic AH Mod drives his poorly educated posters to prove to themselves and to the equally despotic Mod of the Irish Economy forum that his posters are no better than his, only to realise the futility of his actions.

Pdfile

the full monty starring teery...

oh wait that already happened.

AskMyChocolate

Princess Peach wrote: »

And maybe one of them could be the type who always posts the first hilarious reply to a thread on after hours, and the other could be the one who always complains about the lack of intelligence of those posters. And they have had fights on threads without even knowing!

And he/she could be a young widow/widower who has lost their partner in a terribly heroic military action and doesn't go out anymore, due to loneliness and his/her parental duties which is tearing their only child apart.

For the European cut of the film, the precocious child can get an awful, yet thoroughly deseved hiding, for not minding their own business, before it works out in the end.

Doc Ruby

Doc wrote: »

This had to be about Trent, The Madman!

But is there an actor alive who could pull off the role?

I'd have to nominate Patrick Stewart for the job. There's a murderous sexer in there just bursting to get out.

Bipolar Joe

I vote we use the AH crew as cast. It's the only way.

phasers

A mod and a troll fall in love. Hilarity ensues! Or tragedy, I haven't decided yet.

AboutTwoFiddy

phasers wrote: »

A mod and a troll fall in love. Hilarity ensues! Or tragedy, I haven't decided yet.

Or Mod Club, where the troll and the mod are the one person using alt accounts...

mikemac1

A student falls for their teacher

It'll star Feeky Magee and the teaching forum is pretty busy these days, we'll find someone

Not sure what the ending will be though
We have noble failure at the moment

yeppydeppy

It was the best of times it was the bloards of times....

AskMyChocolate

OK. So, we've got this far. Are we all agreed, that, Princess Peach and The King of Moo should head up the project?

And that the story should involve Mods, (Okay,okay:rolleyes:...and also slashers), romance, and whatever else... that hilarity should ensue?

I think we're agreed, that, hilarity not ensuing is a dealbreaker.Yes?

I think we have the bones of it there.

*claps hands*

"Okay people, let's go. Let's put some flesh on this skeleton.Warner Bros. ain't gonna wait for us.Chop-Chop."

Princess Peach

Princess Peach wrote: »

A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!

We could do something similar to Yes Man, where the character does whatever people advise them to do on AH.

Immaculate Pasta

I suggest a Boards screenplay chronicling the history of Sinn Féin in Northern Ireland from the start of the Troubles to the present day. Starring KeithAFC as Gerry Adams and Chris Tucker as Gerry's amusing sidekick Martin McGuinness :cool:

I have images of Gerry Adams being driven round by Martin McGuinness and when he attempts to change the radio station he's slapped away and Martin goes "Never touch an Irishman's radio!"

phasers

I think we need a training montage. Can I be an executive producer?

Mr Benevolent

Biggins vs The World.

The world doesn't stand a chance.

bigpoppa

INT. AFTER HOURS FORUM - MORNING

OP enters, types:-

"Whats your worst sexual experience?"

A second poster enters

"Why whats yours OP?"

An inevitable third poster appears with the standard stock AH response

"Oh this again we had this thread last week"

A fourth poster enters and blasts them with piss.

Your ma enters.

Car Chase.

(Fin)

Snowie

been working on one for little over a year

al28283

Does God exist in this screenplay?

Tom

Carry On Fapping - A host of AHs regulars are duped into sharing their freaky sexual experiences on numerous threads started by the mythical Fapping Troll.

foxyboxer

Judge Thread.

westendgirlie

Princess Peach wrote: »

A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!

The King of Moo wrote: »

You Laugh, You Lose: Graphic Japanese horror in which a sadistic killer kidnaps a group of teenagers and chains them up in a dank basement. Each teenager is shown a variety of funny pictures, and if they laugh even once, they're brutally tortured until they die.

I'd say you could probably get at least two sequels out of it.

Deleted User wrote: »

We could do something similar to Yes Man, where the character does whatever people advise them to do on AH.

Oh, and the quest is they have to save the teenagers but can only go where the other boardsies instruct them to go. In a Matrix kinda way.

I am getting very excited! Can I have a part in the movie ???

We could make this into a Saw-type movie - taken from what others have said previously;

There's a group of teenagers, each are led to somewhere because of boards - some are given the dare of doing everything that is said on AH and others are on the quest, like Princess Peach said. However they are all lured into a Saw-like environment, with heart monitors and the like attached and shown funny pictures from You Laugh, You Lose and videos from "All Your Videos Go Here". If they laugh, the traps they are attached to activate and they are killed gruesomely.

It can be called - You Laugh, You Lose. With the tagline - "Laughter can kill."

Fizman

The King of Moo wrote: »

The Town: Mystery Thriller in which a group of posters attempt to figure out which town the OP is referring to.

PM, I Love You: A female poster who hasn't logged on for a while finds her inbox full of creepy PMs from a banned deceased user.

I'm not gonna lie, I almost spilled my tea in work here when I read the first one.

I corrected the second one.

AskMyChocolate

AboutTwoFiddy wrote: »

Or Mod Club, where the troll and the mod are the one person using alt accounts...

The first rule of Mod Club is that you don't talk about Mod Club.


Banned.

Mickeroo

Someone beat ya to it OP: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088680/ :pac: