Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

ToddyDoody

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Bienvenue En France 2... the French textbook.

Ha ha ha reminds me of a story.
A fella I used to sit beside in French got thrown out of the class for some reason or another.
I got his book ,opened it on a ranodom page and drew a picture of a woman spread eagle .
All the gory details.
Anyway 2/3 weeks later were on that page on class.
The French teacher sees the crude drawing and hits the roof.
The poor lad denies it to the last bit the teacher is having none of it.
I think he ended up in the principals office with his ma and the French book !

branie2

Did you ever own up?

A Primal Nut

RTE Aertel had descriptions of all films on terrestrial TV that night. I used to look for mentions of the word erotic in the description....erotic thriller was the most common one. Sometimes erotic meant one nude scene, sometimes more but either way that was enough to justify sitting through some ****e 2 hour movie.

A Primal Nut

And obviously Eurotrash was a godsend back then. Used to be the talk of the class the morning after each episode when I was in 1st year of an all boys secondary school

Eggonyerface

A Primal Nut wrote: »

And obviously Eurotrash was a godsend back then. Used to be the talk of the class the morning after each episode when I was in 1st year of an all boys secondary school

Ibiza uncovered was another

Sam Hain

Deliverance on RTE late one night.

NachoBusiness

Remember getting Kerrang magazine one month around '88 (I was around 14) and I was sitting on my bed reading it. Turned the page and there was an article on the band Warlock. On the top right there was a picture of the lead singer (Doro Pesch) lifting her top and flashing loads of 15 year old mullet haired boys on stage somewhere in Europe. Well I nearly fell off my bed. Didn't leave the room for a week. Thank you, Doro.

Galwayguy35

Sam Hain wrote: »

Deliverance on RTE late one night.

What part of Deliverence gave you a boner?!

elfy4eva

Prickly heat, made all the more difficult with Julian Clary making camp double entendre's every two minutes.

retalivity

Our skybox in the late 90s had loads of German channels...Rtl zwei was always great after 10pm.
Had some show with a middle aged German woman dressed like a madam interviewing couples and would then proceed to get it on, tits and ass everywhere. The woman would usually sit there watching them and give a commentary/ask questions mid-throes...was weird.

Yurt2

I remember finding my brothers' stash of Playboys (with the covers ripped off so they'd get through customs) he brought back from a J1 and didn't bother bringing them back to the schmoke when he went back to college. Got full value out of them then started a cottage smut peddling business renting them to lads in school.

testicle

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

What part of Deliverence gave you a boner?!

Squeal like a piggy, boy?

TheLastMohican

The Lonely Hearts page of Ireland's Own

branie2

To Barbara Windsor in Carry On Doctor

Billy86

Mister Vain wrote: »

Wimbeldon, short skirts... yep.

Is it fair to say that Anna Kournikova's ass was the last 'sexy meme' to come before the internet (OK granted the internet was around, but it was 1997 if I recall, and the internet had not really kicked off - in Ireland at least)?

Billy86

damian139 wrote: »

she'd be around 50 now, about 16 stone with a moustache.... sigh...

I did a quick check, Googled her name and up came her official Facebook page. Clicked on it, took a look, and..

No.

No, no.

No, no, no, no.

No God, dear God no!

No no no no no, noooooooooo!!

Oh holy no no no NO NO!!

And as for this one...

I also stumbled on the fact that she's done topless modelling. Welcome Sabrina, to the internet age of fappery!!

the_monkey

I used to buy playboy specials in Easons ..... not the regular mag, they used to have specials like the Book of Lingerie ... just all pictures of naked women cover to cover ... great value, but buying them was a c*nt...

branie2

Special K ads

syklops

the_monkey wrote: »

I used to buy playboy specials in Easons ..... not the regular mag, they used to have specials like the Book of Lingerie ... just all pictures of naked women cover to cover ... great value, but buying them was a c*nt...

How is that a lame thing to fap to?

Fox_In_Socks

Yurt! wrote: »

Got full value out of them then started a cottage smut peddling business renting them to lads in school.

Renting them?

Kind of like a paper pimp, then?:pac: I hope they were "clean"

efb

When I was 13 a jocks wrapper (the paper bit with the well hung model on it) gave me the horn. Wet dreams are made of these...

JupiterKid

efb wrote: »

When I was 13 a jocks wrapper (the paper bit with the well hung model on it) gave me the horn. Wet dreams are made of these...

Yep. The French brand Hom had a seriously smoking hot dude on its jocks packets.

Calibos

Not fair. Us straights can't study the models on knickers packets in the ladies lingerie departments without looking like pervs. You lads, "Yeah, I'm just checking they're the right size"

the_monkey

syklops wrote: »

How is that a lame thing to fap to?

Ah ****e , should have read the thread title properly
Ok it was lame that I had to buy it at all with a copy of the evening herald to mask it xd ..

efb

Calibos wrote: »

Not fair. Us straights can't study the models on knickers packets in the ladies lingerie departments without looking like pervs. You lads, "Yeah, I'm just checking they're the right size"

Will they go over me massive horn? Lol

syklops

the_monkey wrote: »

Ok it was lame that I had to buy it at all with a copy of the evening herald to mask it xd ..

Buying the herald to mask your porn? Now thats lame.

branie2

I'm looking forward to the day when Brand New Retro will upload images from the Family Album

Mister Vain

I used to get the Max Power magazines with the dirty young wans in it. Of course I pretended I was only interested in the cars. The Max Power era was great. Girls used to get their boobs out for no reason.

frostyjacks

Neither lame nor embarrassing at the time, but looks pretty mild now...when Erika Elaniak burst out of the birthday cake in Under Siege. Very happy memories of watching that scene. If I was Casey Ryback I would have just locked the two of us in the brig, let the terrorists go about their business. Everyone's a winner!

wp_rathead

Used Record "Top 30 Hits"
You'd get 30 Second clips of videos like "Mamba No. 5" and "Thong Song" - kept me going when ever I'd free house

Jaysus dark times

weetabix12345

Anne Doyle RTE news

holystungun9

The album cover for Power by Ice T. It was a cassette :-(

branie2

The 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Agricola

When an older friend of mine went on his first lad's holiday, he brought me back a souvenir keyring with tiny photos of an orgy on a boat. God bless that aul keyring, t'was a kingly gift for a 15 year old in pre-internet Ireland!

Sheep Lover

As a youngster any sort of stimulation would have me pitching my jocks like a 6 man tent. An untidy ham sandwhich where the meat hung over the pieces of bread and resembled a vagina was enough some days.

branie2

Nicolette Sheridan in Somebody's Daughter

branie2

Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi

branie2

branie2 wrote: »

I first started fapping after seeing swimwear in the fashion section in an edition of the RTE guide 21 years ago.

Actually, make that 22 years ago:o

Sergei Malatov

Picture of Amanda Brunker in a swimsuit in The Sunday World.

Sergei Malatov

I used to cut pictures of attractive women out of magazines and newspapers for my stash.

I put all of them in my gay neighbor's postbox when I got tired of them.

speedboatchase

Lingerie section of a Family Album catalogue. Good times.

Mister Vain

Sergei Malatov wrote: »

I used to cut pictures of attractive women out of magazines and newspapers for my stash.

I put all of them in my gay neighbor's postbox when I got tired of them.

I used to do the same thing except I put them in my friends trouser pockets while they were hanging on his washing line. Then his mother would collect the clothes and find them and give him a bollocking.

Sergei Malatov

If I was a few years older the cover of Golden Axe would have been prime fapping material.

branie2

I was mostly into the swimwear section of Family Album

fryup

Sheep Lover wrote: »

As a youngster any sort of stimulation would have me pitching my jocks like a 6 man tent. An untidy ham sandwhich where the meat hung over the pieces of bread and resembled a vagina was enough some days.

a picnic with you must have been risky

branie2

This is really lame - when women put their bras or bikini tops (on tv, of course)

timthumbni

Kay's catologue. Lingerie section. Pure unadulterated dirty filth.

I nearly went full Stevie Wonder over those blinking things. ;-)

branie2

Mini catalogues that came free in the RTE guide

branie2

Oxendales once or twice

Sergei Malatov

The cover of The Darkness's first album.