Second baby on the way - any advice on two under two?

implausible

Ok, background info - I'm nearly 38 weeks and my wee man is 23 months.

I have to admit I'm a bit worried about how I'm going to cope with two of them in the house. While the wee buck isn't especially demanding, I don't know how I'm going to divide my time between two of them, especially as I plan to breastfeed again. Does anyone have any concrete tips for me on how to make sure that #1 isn't left feeling ignored or turning into a tv addict? I'm also worried physically - he bounces into our bed in the mornings and you get woken by elbows, knees and occasionally a fist! How the hell am I going to stop him bouncing on top of a newborn????:eek:

The other thing is the shopping list - does everyone buy a new mattress for the cots for each baby? I know you're supposed to, but they're not the cheapest!

Any thoughts/advice/hints greatly appreciated?

Moonbeam

I have January 2009 and 2011 babies,the 1st few weeks are hard when you are trying to breastfeed the new baby and the bigger one is used to having mammy to her/himself,after that it is fine.
I took the big girl out of creche when I went on maternity leave and put her in playschool so that she would not get bored and would have friends to play with but I think some kids would still be too young for playschool at that age.
We have special trips just mammy and big girl to the cinema or for cake and I think that is important.
I mind a January 2010 baby as well and the 3 kids are as different as they come.
2 Years is a perfect gap,you do not have 2 sets of nappies for long the bigger child is big enough that you do not need to buy another cot,only 1 has bottles,the bigger one cant ell you what they want.
My now 3 year old is a big help with her little sister:)

I used the same mattress for the basket and cot for both my babies.

The double buggy if you walk places is a must.

car

You could try ringing "Big Mickey" in Longford if he has any of these mattress below in stock they are 50euros.

I bought a solid oak bed frame and Silentnight matteress off him in March after watching a tread on Boards for the past year and half and it was def worth the drive up to him, such a gental man to deal with, and I got free delivery too.

http://www.bigmickey.ie/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=74_87_105&products_id=1890

wmpdd3

i have 15 months between my two, one is 10 weeks now and the other is 18 months.

i wont lie, its been hard.

double buggy essential

sling essential.

i was advised to get some special books to the big girl and sit her beside me while i feed little man, but tbh, i'm feeding him all the time and i cant find her special books as the house is a mess..

she goes to creche 3 afternoons a week, this is essential to me. i couldnt survive without it. i get very little time with just her, mostly its me with the baby and my partner playing with her. she has hit out at the baby a few times so ive had to introduce the 'step'.

she has no interest in telly

the highlight of my day is when i get visitors, make sure you tell your friends you want to see them. most people think there is no good time to call.

i try to get out for a walk every morning, then her nap, then creche foe her and me and baby do the shopping or sleep.

How the hell am I going to stop him bouncing on top of a newborn????

he will, but he'll learn that it hurts the baby.

implausible

Thanks guys, some good ideas there. I bought a P&T for the wee man, so have the double buggy sorted (at least I was organised back then!)

The books are a good idea wmpdd3, he loves his books.

Moonbeam - just what I wanted to hear about the 'perfect' gap.

I should add that he will be going to the childminders for a few hours, for a few weeks after baba is born, so it could be a lot worse! I'm hoping the bfeeding goes as well as it did the last time. I've had hubbie out putting up mesh to keep him at the back of the house, because I'd feel bad keeping him in if the weather is nice and I can't exactly drop the baby if he decides to escape!

I can't believe how disorganised I am this time compared to the last. No hospital bag yet and on the first I had it packed a month before!!

caprilicious

Some very interesting tips on this thread that I'll be taking note of - thanks!
Implausible I'll have roughly the same age gap here also (daughter 25 months, baby due any day now) & a little nervous of how things will pan out.

I wasn't able to breastfeed last time but going to try this time so nervous about that.

Also getting someone to mesh in the side garden so I can keep the big girl coralled in safely to a part of the garden & get plenty of outdoor play time in the summer.

I'm a 30 minute drive from the nearest nursery which is a major pain in the ass, but going to bring her in at least one day per week for the sake of her sanity and mine! I think she needs the interaction with other children as she had previously attended nursery 3 days per week & still asks about her little pals

I've looked up a few classes/mum and baby things I can go to too so going to try motivate myself to make sure I'm out of the house with them both a bit.

Exciting times ahead!!

Hannibal Smith

In a way you'll just have to play it by ear. Just like each baby is different so is each toddler. There's no telling how no. 1 will react.

My suggestion would be, get the toddler to help out. Set them easy tasks like fetching a nappy or a wipe. The baby will be the only common denominator for a while so getting them involved should help.

Our first turned into a demon the first few weeks. There's nothing you can do if this happens but give them lots of reassuring hugs and try and concentrate on the good behaviour and praise them for that as much as you can.

Also the poor toddler might feel excluded brcause 3 of you are in one room and they're by themselves. I never thought of this before hand. So if you haven't done it already maybe set up the crib now and have the toddler well aware that no 2 will be sleeping in your room.

You will find that everytime you sit down to do feed baby no 1 will ask you for something...maybe try preempt this by asking do they want anything before you sit down. Though chances are they'll say no and ask 5 mins later any how lol

Finally set a morning aside when its just you and no 1. Every Sat morning I take no 1 out and its lovely. You'll be surprised how much you miss one on one time with them. As no 2 sleeps more and you're less shattered you can set your times throughout the day of what to do together.

As for the running in on top of baby...that will happen...you just have to catch no 1 before s/he lands;)

It's very tough in the beginning. Don't think its going to he easy because you've done it before...be prepared for the fact it will be hard, keep your head down for the first weeks, get through it as best you can and eventually you'll all get into your stride.

Oh! Another thought...jigsaws! Toddlers love them, it'll keep them busy and away from tv! They're a god send...stock up on them! Lol

cbyrd

I have one 27 months and one 6 months.. so when baby came along we had the nearly 2 year old so impatient to see his brother.. newborns are tougher than they look..just watch the midwives when they're born :eek: so the odd bump doesn't do too much harm :eek: thank god or we'd be on a hotline to A&E:D

When i breast fed i got a few books and put the 2 year old beside me and read to him.. my husband was home for 2 weeks so that was a great help. You'll find your own routine and don't be afraid to let the toddler hold the baby.. it builds a bond i think. I let my boy hold his brother (it was really me ) and to this day he absolutely adores him and woebetied anyone who upsets his baby brother..

Make sure if you're going to be alone that everything a 2 year old can get into is fairly safe.. no escaping up a stairs or out a front door and that anything you don't want to have to get up to take off him is put away..and hand the baby over every now and again and spend a bit of alone time with your toddler.. and it is quite amazing what you will be able to do with one hand while you feed the baby with the other Best of luck with it . .

wmpdd3

have to say, i have set up a pram in the sitting room and a pack n play in the kitchen, not for baby to sleep in but as an emergency place to put them in a rush and i have had to use it a fair bit.

reins, also essential and home shopping

Moonbeam

We didn't use reins or home shopping but I did buy a play pen to protect the baby from the toddlers.

wmpdd3

Yeah, its the only way i could leave the baby lie down on his little play mat. Also i was lucky enough to be given a base for the baby carrier, so i can load the car on my own.

implausible

I'll have the travel cot set up in the kitchen and it has two levels, so will be used for sleeping and protection!!

The wee monkey has figured out opening doors and removing keys in the last few days, so if my leg lets me (have pelvic girdle pain), I'll be putting up nails and hooks so he doesn't escape/lock himself in/lock me in somewhere.

Some great ideas guys, don't hesitate to add any more!

mummymoo

theres a year between my 2, it is not easy!! plenty of snacks and dvds near by as u will be stuck to the couch most of the day and the older one also needs feeding lol! i also used the travel cot as a cage for when i needed the bathroom etc and didnt want to leave them together, you arent going to get a proper sleep for a long time so make the most of it now! and you will be lucky to have any dinner never mind a hot dinner :P but it will all be worth it in the end!

Rosy Posy

20months between my first two...the first six months were hard yards but its great now that they're older and can play together.

I got a really big armchair that my toddler could sit in beside me while I fed the baby and I could read him his stories and give him a cuddle.

If your partner is not 'hands on' with number one he's going to have to start. If you don't have a partner enlist your friends and family. I remember with number one I wanted to do everything to make sure it was done 'right' so I would take over from my husband. This went out the window with number two.

I agree with the poster who said to get the toddler involved in caring for the baby. I think that's the best way to avoid them intentionally/unintentionally harming the little one. One thing that we had to make very clear was that the baby couldn't eat food- my son always wanted to share his snacks with his sister. We just kept telling him 'baby only drinks boobie' so that he wouldn't choke her with a cracker or something.

I think with the oldest child its really important that they have some one-on-one time with mum, even just five minutes reading stories or doing jigsaws or helping with cooking or gardening. Even now that they are older I think this is still true.

Your world is about to be rocked, op, but you will get through it, try to enjoy the ride!

cynder

17 months between my guys, fun and games and no sleep, would do it all over again. My boys are now soon to be 7 year old and 5. They are best buds.

caprilicious

grindelwald wrote: »

17 months between my guys, fun and games and no sleep, would do it all over again. My boys are now soon to be 7 year old and 5. They are best buds.

That's what I love the thoughts of & why I wanted to have my 2 close together.
There's 2 years & 2 weeks between my sister & I and we've always been very close.
I'd love that for my 2 (if no. 2 ever puts in an appearance :rolleyes: )

implausible

Rosy Posy wrote: »

I got a really big armchair that my toddler could sit in beside me while I fed the baby and I could read him his stories and give him a cuddle.

I remember with number one I wanted to do everything to make sure it was done 'right' so I would take over from my husband.

Sounds like the two-seater is a must then - an excuse to go shopping:D!

I could have written the last comment Rosy, I'm a bit of a control freak, but the bother I'm having with pelvic girdle pain means that the other half has had to do a lot of stuff for me and with the wee fella the last few weeks - good practice and it's very cute to see him stomping round after his dada 'helping'....

caprilicious wrote: »

(if no. 2 ever puts in an appearance :rolleyes: )

I'll be watching the april/may thread for ya! How long will they let you go over? My D-day is this day next week and I'm desperate to avoid another section, so hoping baba decides to move by him/herself.

caprilicious

implausible wrote: »

I'll be watching the april/may thread for ya! How long will they let you go over? My D-day is this day next week and I'm desperate to avoid another section, so hoping baba decides to move by him/herself.

My D-day was yesterday so officially overdue (I know only by less than 2 hours but still ) fingers crossed your baba will be a lot more cooperative & not keep you waiting too much longer!

They allow you the full 14 days over in the hospital I attend :rolleyes: