What else can they tax?

Mr.Crinklewood

Visiting the barbers / hairdressers:-

CSO states the population is:- 4,481,430.

Lets say a million of these do not bother cutting their hair, that leaves 3,481,430.

Lets say they each get their hair cut twelve times a year with a tax of €2.00 per visit would gain €83,554,320 for the government.

Masturbation:-

Unfair to tax the kids, so we tax those aged between 15-64:-

2006 census gives us a figure of:- 2,907,473 People.

We`ll assume people have a quick feel four times a week:- 11,629,892 times.

52 weeks in the year:- 604,754,384

Charge people €1.00 for four self pleasurements, this gives us:- €151,188,596

The masturbation tax ( Like the Household Tax or the TV License ) will obviously be difficult to police, however some people will owe more due to excessive playtime.

These two simple taxes will give an additional € 234,742,916 per year to feed the coffers of the government.

Any other ideas to raise money, perhaps a tax on nonsensical Boards posts?

It should be noted that these figures may be wrong.

44leto

texting and data, its possible so it will be.

TeddyTedson

Boards answer

---

> Religion

Free Taxed thinking!

The taxman stands next to you and demands "A penny for your thoughts!"

davet82

tax on posts on boards

GetWithIt

Drugs.

Uhm, the illegal ones.

forfuxsake

drugs
prostitution
casino gambling

admiralofthefleet

44leto wrote: »

texting and data, its possible so it will be.

its already taxed afaik

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Oxegen is next....

Ectoplasm

Stop giving them ideas people!!!

Bomberman

Fresh air is next

DoneDL

Great Mr.Crinklewood, now you are giving the Goverment sorry Gob****es more income ideas

Thwip!

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Visiting the barbers / hairdressers:-

CSO states the population is:- 4,481,430.

Lets say a million of these do not bother cutting their hair, that leaves 3,481,430.

Lets say they each get their hair cut twelve times a year with a tax of €2.00 per visit would gain €83,554,320 for the government.

Masturbation:-

Unfair to tax the kids, so we tax those aged between 15-64:-

2006 census gives us a figure of:- 2,907,473 People.

We`ll assume people have a quick feel four times a week:- 11,629,892 times.

52 weeks in the year:- 604,754,384

Charge people €1.00 for four self pleasurements, this gives us:- €151,188,596

The masturbation tax ( Like the Household Tax or the TV License ) will obviously be difficult to police, however some people will owe more due to excessive playtime.

These two simple taxes will give an additional € 234,742,916 per year to feed the coffers of the government.

Any other ideas to raise money, perhaps a tax on nonsensical Boards posts?

It should be noted that these figures may be wrong.

would bring an entirely different meaning to the term "**** bank" :P

johnayo

They will probably tax for the ride soon.:rolleyes:

davet82

benwavner wrote: »

Oxegen is next....

is that why it was cancelled this year?

Dubit10

Mobile phone tax is on the books i'd say.

Manach

Tax tax raising ideas.

Cookie_Monster

Replace tv licence, bin charges, water charges, houshold charge with proper rates. lots less admin, and a proper sustainable tax base.

Religions are a good one, tax them like the businesses they are.

Bottled water

davet82

johnayo wrote: »

They will probably tax for the ride soon.:rolleyes:

technically that what tax is, riding, as we're all being fcuked

sock puppet

davet82 wrote: »

is that why it was cancelled this year?

It's a great way of minimising your tax liability in fairness.

jd007

Place a tax on tax

Kylo Ren

If you want to watch one of those stupid reality TV shows on RTE, actually anything on those channels, you have to pay €10,000 an hour for viewing pleasure.

admiralofthefleet

the wanker bankers that got it to where we are now should have a 99.9% tax imposed on their bonuses

tayto lover

Footpath Tax because we use them to walk.
Internet Tax because we have a computer.
Bicycle Tax if we cycle on the roads.

i57dwun4yb1pt8

jeez , it took FF what 15 years to shoot itself in the head ?

this lot will be bye bye in 4 years .

I 'd love to see phil hogan get run over by a gigantic dildo.

anyway Phil, heres my list

1/ breathing tax ( with waivers for smokers )
2/ crapping tax ( varies according to dietary fibre levels - with a waiver for 2 day constipators ) )
3/ sex tax ( including masturbation tax, cross referenced using opticians databases )
4/ fart tax ( anything over 40 db in volume , policed using internal house water meter attachment )
5/ junkie tax ( for every 10 junkies in your area , YOU are taxed a certain rate for their upkeep )

Mr.Crinklewood

Phil Hogan has just came up with a new tax by accident, when Enda asked him if he had any Thumbtacks.



Total Population in 2006:- 4,239,848.

We`ll round the figures down to say 4,000,000 have two thumbs, €3.00 tax per thumb, an extra € 24,000,000 for the government.

davet82

DaDumTish wrote: »

I 'd love to see phil hogan get run over by a gigantic dildo.

theres a tax on that now

sock puppet

jd007 wrote: »

Place a tax on tax

Inception tax?

44leto

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

its already taxed afaik

Really it doesn't really surprise me.

Gogins

They'll tax taking a crap next, €1 per log. Piss meters installed, 50c per litre. Everyone will be in the street like dogs.

admiralofthefleet

44leto wrote: »

Really it doesn't really surprise me.

you know when you see them idoit competitions on tv and at the end they say 'text messages cost €1 plus vat@

Caveman1

I was just wondering the other day how much the government get back from people's dole money from the tax, when a bill is paid or shopping is done or even a few drinks or cigarettes, id imagine they get a good lot back

southcentralts

newly announced tax on thought. Thinking, having an opinion, expressing oneself, an idea, and also feelings or emotions of any kind incur a €2 tax.

Be careful reading this not to have any reactions or thoughts. You may think it impossible to prove if you have had a thought, but I am told by a reliable source that in fact, it will be our burden to prove we have not had any thoughts.

BackScrub

DaDumTish wrote: »

I 'd love to see phil hogan get run over by a gigantic dildo.

I swear he already looks like one.

When he stands in front of a TV camera giving us the 2 fingers he's a dead ringer for a Rampant Rabbit.

ChunkyLover_53

Internet Forum Post Tax.

Just cost myself .50c

Mike65 will owe a fortune to the revenue.

davet82

Gogins wrote: »

They'll tax taking a crap next, €1 per log.

a dodgy curry could set you back a few bob

thunderdog

A "whiping your arse" tax. 1 cent a sheet. Like the bag levy tax accept its for your arse

mattjack

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Replace tv licence, bin charges, water charges, houshold charge with proper rates. lots less admin, and a proper sustainable tax base.

Religions are a good one, tax them like the businesses they are.

Bottled water

Far too sensible thinking on your behalf, pay the being sensible tax and leave, sir.

dxhound2005

A tax on moaning would bring in a fair bit.

davet82

thunderdog wrote: »

A "whiping your arse" tax. 1 cent a sheet. Like the bag levy tax accept its for your arse

i'll just use my hand then and run it under the tap afterwards, sorted :cool:

Zab

Income. The only tax that's actually required.

davet82

dxhound2005 wrote: »

A tax on moaning would bring in a fair bit.

sexual moaning or your regular moaning?

tayto lover

Cat Tax.
Budgie Tax.
Goldfish Tax.
Chicken Tax.

etc etc

Radharc na Sleibhte

€5 tax payable on leaving the country, collected in cash at the ports, like at knock.

€1 tax to pay to enter a fast food outlet.

Raise the plastic bag levy.

drunkmonkey

Feminists. Tax them out of existence.

tayto lover

tayto lover wrote: »

Footpath Tax because we use them to walk.
Internet Tax because we have a computer.
Bicycle Tax if we cycle on the roads.

Tax Taytos

namloc1980

jd007 wrote: »

Place a tax on tax

We already do that....VAT and excise duty on petrol/drink etc! VRT/VAT/Motor Tax on cars! Stamp Duty/Household Tax on houses.


BREAKING NEWS: Phil Hogan has just announced the introduction of a nice scenery tax. If you can see mountains or the sea from your house then you will have to register for an initial €100 charge for the privilege. Additional charges will apply for those with views of mountains AND the sea. Those who can see an unfinished estate out their window will get a waiver but will still have to register.

tayto lover

Deleted User wrote: »

Tax Taytos

What ??? How dare they even think of that :mad:

argosy2006

Tax tea, 10c per cup
Coffee too, 10c per cup

Game on ,,,,,

namloc1980

argosy2006 wrote: »

Tax tea, 10c per cup
Coffee too, 10c per cup

Game on ,,,,,

They do that already....it's called VAT!

argosy2006

namloc1980 wrote: »

They do that already....it's called VAT!

Phil Hogan is a Vat Bastard