What's going on with my 4 year old?

Daffodil.d

Just this week,my normally extremely well behaved 4 year old has thrown several hissy fits. Ordinarily if she starts getting upset about something I can explain and chat to her why eg. We are goin home from the playground. Last Sunday she got into such a state she even threw herself on the ground. Also she is complaining about being hungry all the time which is not like her and has had night terrors the Last 3 nights. Again this is new too. I don't know if these things are linked but they seem to look that way. She attends preschool and they've been off the Last too weeks. I honestly don't think that's it as I have a fairly structured routine here everyday similar to school day.Anyone got any ideas.

RubyGirl

OMG op, this is like me writing this situation. I have a 4 year old girl whick had her first hissy fit last night. Again usually well behaved and does as she is asked without any problem.

Last night I gave her her warning at 715 to finish up she was going to bed. Bed at 730 and she totally lost the plot, she was'nt finished her level on the ds and stamped her feet and roared & screamed, did'nt get her setlted until well after 8.

Not great again tonight with bed.

Sorry to rave op but will watch this thread closely.

unkel

I wouldn't worry about it too much, ladies. It is just after the 2 week Easter break and many of the little children are off form a bit. I've 3 girls and the youngest (3) was fine going to Montessori yesterday (Monday) but she had a fit today (Tuesday)

They'll be fine in the next few days, no worries

Ickle Magoo

Could it be a growth spurt, OP? In this house turning into miniature teenagers along with bottomless appetites and the odd over-active imagination driven nightmare is usually closely followed by the need for new shoes.

Daffodil.d

My Mam thinks it's worms! Mam blames everything on worms and thinks I should dose her. Seriously though would they cause that much hassle.
Rubygirl I have the same bedtime here and the same issues but she is still gettin close to her 12 hours so I didn't think it was that. At least I am not alone! :-). She's back in Montessori 3 days now so it will be interesting to see if she settles next wk.
Re. the growth spurt she has just had one. Could she still be growing? She's been asking for bread and butter before bed. We have been giving her warm milk.

PinkFly

Daffodil.d wrote: »

My Mam thinks it's worms! Mam blames everything on worms and thinks I should dose her. Seriously though would they cause that much hassle.
Rubygirl I have the same bedtime here and the same issues but she is still gettin close to her 12 hours so I didn't think it was that. At least I am not alone! :-). She's back in Montessori 3 days now so it will be interesting to see if she settles next wk.
Re. the growth spurt she has just had one. Could she still be growing? She's been asking for bread and butter before bed. We have been giving her warm milk.

Could it be a distraction to going to bed? My son loves telling me he's hungry before bedtime just to get a few extra minutes!

Sleepy

Yep, our eldest is fond of the "I'm hungry" two minutes after he's told to get into his pyjamas.

RubyGirl

Ya prob is only a distraction, you forgot to feed me today Mom.

up for anything

RubyGirl wrote: »

Last night I gave her her warning at 715 to finish up she was going to bed. Bed at 730 and she totally lost the plot, she was'nt finished her level on the ds and stamped her feet and roared & screamed, did'nt get her setlted until well after 8.

My advice would be to get rid of the DS a couple of hours before bedtime. Instead make the before bedtime entertainment reading, music, tv, painting - anything but computer games. It's very difficult for most people to come back to the real world from a computer game - it's addictive and a bit like gambling, there is always just one more level to reach, item to find. So it's not surprising that a four year old can't handle it. It's also much harder to time computer games to finish at a certain time.

Morag

Will power battles, at 4 they are thier own little person and see themselves as being very grown up and able to do so many things for themselves that they resent being told what to do. It comes and goes, it's hard going but they have to know who is boss and that you will follow through and keep your word.

I've found the flare ups tend to go with growth spurts and the best thing you can do it when they start pushing boundaries, re asert them good and hard. It be tough on you and them but it's for the best in the long run.

paddydriver

Our 5 year old was like that all last week when we went over to Blackpool for a holiday - got back on Friday evening, she has chicken pox on Saturday. This explained her terrible mood all that week. 4 days on she is back in top form and not a bother on her, and enjoying another week off school.

Now waiting on the two younger boys to get it - youngest running a high temp today so think it may be on its way.

FWIW, our 4 year old boy often has those hissy fits - he is a real house devil, street angel as he can do no wrong at the creche.

simply simple

seriously ,i am in the same boat these day,my 3 and half year pld girl is doing this and this is freaking me out.In every single act,she needs it to be in her own naughty way or no way!my day starts strongly standing to my words but at the end of the day i feel like yelling,sometime i speak on high pitch voice to her but i jus cant help it,oh my god!

Daffodil.d

simply simple wrote: »

seriously ,i am in the same boat these day,my 3 and half year pld girl is doing this and this is freaking me out.In every single act,she needs it to be in her own naughty way or no way!my day starts strongly standing to my words but at the end of the day i feel like yelling,sometime i speak on high pitch voice to her but i jus cant help it,oh my god!

Lol its so hard to keep down the high pitched voice. Same here! Anyway my update is that I think it was the goin back to school and the growth spurt. I dealt with it by pulling back her bedtime by half an hour and when she won't settle I tell her her toys will be removed from her room. 2 items were confiscated at one point and she got the message. However she's still gettin night terrors and I am seriously considering giving her a worm dose.

The_fever

Our four year old is like that most days. Boys will be boys, great to see how the other half live though!

RubyGirl

Daffodil.d wrote: »

Lol its so hard to keep down the high pitched voice. Same here! Anyway my update is that I think it was the goin back to school and the growth spurt. I dealt with it by pulling back her bedtime by half an hour and when she won't settle I tell her her toys will be removed from her room. 2 items were confiscated at one point and she got the message. However she's still gettin night terrors and I am seriously considering giving her a worm dose.

Did you ever go thru with the worm dose. Will she sleep on her own when you put her down. Have to lie in the bed with my lady until she fall's off. Have tried the whole sitting on bottom of bed etc but she just goes bananna's.

Daffodil.d

I didn't do it yet because the night terrors calmed down a bit and I didn't want to dose her unnecessarily. I'll be watching her though. She's more or less back to her old routine of settling down at 8pm. the last couple of nights i told her that she was so good there was a surprise under her pillow and she got a small inexpensive story book.
It can be stressful when they don't settle easy. My son is a nightmare for it. doesn't go down til nearly ten and we have to lie down with him. He's 2.

Sappa

I have a friend with a 4 yr old and lately he is a total nitemare to deal with.
Answering back,swear words and being obnoxious just to get attention.
There are times when he says after an hour of minding him he just thinks what is the point in children.
He goes to a child minder where there are older kids and maybe he is picking up the bad habits there,he is at a loss what to do and says the odd time he has given him a spanking he just sulks and reverts back to his bad ways,time out etc does not work,any suggestions.

Mr.Wemmick

If he is behaving badly to get attention then do not give him any, if you can that is, I know it is difficult.

The key here is to praise him and attend to to him when he is good.. and go over board with praise - lots of hugs, kisses, direct eye contact to let him see how happy you are with him - but when he is being naughty try walking away and ignoring him. To practice this you need a controlled environment, at home, in Nursery, to begin with as being out & about in public with a badly behaved 4 year old makes it very difficult for a parent to deal with correctly without stressing.. and don't the kids know it.

Give him jobs to do to focus his attention and when he completes a task praise him and ask him lots of questions about what he has done be a painting, cleaning up, washing up etc. Does he get pocket money? You could make him a job chart and all jobs done at the end of the week means receiving pocket money. Make sure he succeeds at this though as you need to fill his life with lots of positives. He'll soon figure out life is better when he does it the good way, rather than the naughty.

A calm talk with him at the end of the day too, after bath or before bed, about not using swear words or shouting.. also talk to him about the child minders - is he happy there, what do the other kids say and do etc. If the other kids swear then you can both agree that it is not good. Discussing other kids' behaviour is an effective way of helping him understand what he himself is doing wrong or right.