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Abortion
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OldNotWIse wrote: »Really? Whatever about my stance, I find it hard to believe that a woman whose life is in danger would not be allowed access to one? That's quite bad tbh.
*Looks at economy.*
*Looks at education system.*
*Looks at health care system.*
*Looks at other signs that show general incompetence*
Not that hard to believe. . .
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ok but either way they wont undo an established pregnancy? ie; one that has implanted within the uterus?mardybumbum wrote: »There has been no evidence to suggest that ECPs prevent implantation. Their MOA is to prevent fertilization either by inhibiting ovulation or increasing cervical mucus.
What other period could someone take as the "no going back" point out of interest?
I dont actually know what point would be good to take tbh! Obviously a just fertilised zygote is not the same as a 22 week old fetus. Imo the "point" (as idealistic as it sounds) would be somewhere in between, but where?
I will put my hands up and say I dont know. 0 -
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Davion Putrid Pint wrote: »
3) Abortion can be psychologically scarring for some women
I promised myself I wouldn't get involved in this thread; when I read this comment yesterday I was tempted to respond, but managed to resist, and then when I read it for a second time (as part of Princess Lola's post) my promise to myself not to get involved weakened considerably.
The reason I try not to get involved in the abortion debate is because while I'm 100% pro choice, when I fell pregnant 23 years ago, single, immature, emotionally damaged from an abusive childhood and with absolutely no support, I discovered I couldn't go through with my vague plan to have an abortion if the pregnancy test turned out to be positive, and opted for adoption instead and therefore it's a very emotive topic for me.
If people think an abortion can be psychologically scarring, I'd love to know what words they'd use to describe the ever-lasting after-effects of adoption. I damn near destroyed my life by making that choice. As it is, I know I'll never fully recover from the trauma of handing my child to someone else, even though I've been able to maintain contact all along (semi open adoption: letterbox contact) and it's taken lots of counselling, years of substance (marijuana and alcohol) abuse [more counselling to deal with that] inability to form a healthy, happy relationship, severe self-isolation and loneliness [more counselling to deal with that] and the guts of 20 years for me to begin heal from the hell that is putting your child up for adoption. If you want to torture yourself till the day you die, give birth and then allow another woman to become your child's mother. If you're lucky you'll shorten your life considerably with the stress of it all
Now, I know some people might argue that not all birth mothers regret their decision as deeply and as heartbreakingly as I do, but neither do all women who make the decision to abort suffer psychological trauma afterwards. I know more women who aborted and are still at peace with their decision than women who regret making that choice. Each person is different, what works for one woman won't necessarily work for the next woman: and that's why I'm pro choice. No woman should be forced to birth or to abort an unplanned baby. Unplanned doesn't always equate to unwanted. I wanted my baby very much by time she was ready to be born (even more so after she was born) but my circumstances at the time weren't conducive to my being able to give her a happy home and a happy life. Sometimes too many vital ingredients are missing.
As a little sidenote, I'd like to add this little nugget. When I told my father I was pregnant, one of his first responses was "well, at least you didn't use contraception" :eek: :eek: :eek:
Just a little snapshot into the Catholic Ireland I grew up in. Mad world, eh?
Now, at this late stage of the game, I wait patiently for my daughter to decide the time is right for her to pursue some kind of a relationship with me (it's not guaranteed, but highly likely) and I can only hope she takes the view it's better to have a life (even separated from her mother) than no life at all. I wouldn't advise any woman to go down the road I chose to go down, because it's absolute and inescapable hell on earth.
Thanks for reading - to all who've read to the end of this long and emotional post.
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Fizzlesque wrote: »Thanks for reading - to all who've read to the end of this long and emotional post.
Fair play for you choosing such a painful route for yourself because it was most probably the better option for your child. By doing that you surely did the best for her as you could because you were not in the best position to bring her up. I'd say you did something very selfless by putting her up for adoption and giving her the chance to have a better life. I bet it wasn't easy and you should be a bit "proud" to have had the strength to go through with it.0 -
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Fizzlesque wrote: »Thanks for reading - to all who've read to the end of this long and emotional post.
Very courageous for you to post this, Fizzlesque.
We have two grandchildren who are adopted. They are a huge joy to us and to our daughter and her husband. So far (they are respectively 8 and 4), they are happy and content with their lot. I've no doubt that as time goes on, they will have some issues to deal with.
But I do think quite often about their natural parents, particularly their mothers and think of the great loss to them of not being able to raise their (in both instances) beautiful children.
The circumstances were perhaps a little different than yours in that their babies were in an orphanage at the time they were adopted. So this begs the question as to whether their parents were realistically in a position to bring them up.
But, still, what a very real gap in their lives and I suppose that they may (and I can only surmise here) get some comfort from the notion that someone else is giving their natural children a better life than they might have managed.
I hope that you will be able to have an increasing and fulfilling part in the life of your child and that this will, in some small way, help to make up for the deep sadness of too many years.0 -
Davion Putrid Pint wrote: »With all due respect, that's why I said abortion can be psychologically scarring for some women. Just as adoption can be, just as having the child can be. Which is why I'm also pro-choice. And why I'm all for better education on contraception to greatly reduce the number of unplanned pregnancies and STI's, which are far, far higher than they need to be. I'd certainly never put myself in the position of telling someone else what to do with an existing pregnancy. As you said, that's for only the woman to decide.
Fair enough, Izzy. I've read some more of your posts since and see you're pro choice too, so we're actually in agreement on the subject.
I guess I've seen the psychological trauma argument against allowing women to make their own choice too many times over the years, and it touches a nerve with me.
As do the many armchair moralists' comments regarding adoption that I've read over the years. It's often thrown out as an idea as glibly as if it was no different to giving a bag of your old clothes to a charity shop. Ah yeah, sure just let someone else have your unwanted old clothes/baby. I've read something along the lines of "if you don't want the baby you're carrying you'll have no problem 'dumping' it on someone who actually cares and would love to be a parent once its born". Yeah, right, 'cause it's really that simple :rolleyes:
Nature is a powerful mistress and she knows exactly what she's doing with regard to bonding mothers and their babies (though admittedly sometimes it doesn't go according to plan and can take time for some new mothers); managing to walk away from your five day old baby and go home from the hospital without her is a complete freak of nature - chopping off your own arm with a blunt instrument would be a less alien thing to try do.
This isn't really addressed to you - well, it is addressed to you - but it isn't really in response to anything you've posted, it's just something that this subject brings out a need for me to mention.
People who say 'sure there's always adoption, no need for abortion' both offend and distress me. I'm aware I'm super sensitive about it all, so these feelings might not be terribly rational but that lack of understanding and empathy comes across as callous and cold to me.
Anyway, I'd better stop typing for fear of producing another tome
. Thanks for your reply. All the best 0 -
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This discussion has been closed.
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