Do bullies really have low self esteem?

Acacia

zenno wrote: »

If it is slow and insidious, then all the more reason to end it there and then before it does cause you mental health issues. Look I never said it was easy but if a person was in a situation like this then that person needs to act fast and deal with it. practice with a punchbag if you have one or a friends one for a while to strengthen your hands and next time it happens go in fully and then after that i'm sure it will be the end of it from happening again from that person. It's better than spending months or years being bullied and having mental problems because of it so get the job done and you will feel more better with yourself thereafter and never having to put up with been bullied again. as I said before, it has to be done for your own sake and wellbeing otherwise spend the rest of your life being bullied. who said it would ever be easy but people need to stand up for themselves.

I'm always curious as to why people think that simply punching a bully will sort the probelm... maybe for teenage lads where you have to show you're not physically weak or something... it's certainly not the solution for every situation.

Take for example my situation... I was a 11/12 year old girl being routinely bullied (more verbal abuse/intimidation, than anything physical) by one guy in particular and one or two of his cronies... I fail to see how standing up to him by trying to deck him would have acheived anything except make me even more of laughing stock, given that they were all far stronger/taller than me. Sometimes physical retaliation is just impossible/unrealistic.


Also, it's pretty hard to get a crippingly-shy, self-concsious child to say anything back to a bully like my one. Sure, in an ideal world, we'd all be firing off snappy one-liners but that generally doesn't happen in real-life. Saying stuff like ''victims need to deal with it'' is just simplifying a very complex problem.

/my two cents.

zenno

Acacia wrote: »

I'm always curious as to why people think that simply punching a bully will sort the probelm... maybe for teenage lads where you have to show you're not physically weak or something... it's certainly not the solution for every situation.

Take for example my situation... I was a 11/12 year old girl being routinely bullied (more verbal abuse/intimidation, than anything physical) by one guy in particular and one or two of his cronies... I fail to see how standing up to him by trying to deck him would have acheived anything except make me even more of laughing stock, given that they were all far stronger/taller than me. Sometimes physical retaliation is just impossible/unrealistic.


Also, it's pretty hard to get a crippingly-shy, self-concsious child to say anything back to a bully like my one. Sure, in an ideal world, we'd all be firing off snappy one-liners but that generally doesn't happen in real-life. Saying stuff like ''victims need to deal with it'' is just simplifying a very complex problem.

/my two cents.

Yes you are dead right in what you say and it is a very complex thing to deal with. I was looking at it from a young man's perspective but if a young man is bullying a girl then his time will come eventually but it still does not fix the problem of him bullying a girl. In a situation like this all you can really do is get help from a brother or go to the gardai and make a complaint against the offender that is abusing you, as going down that road can fix the problem in it's tracks.

I have to say though, a guy verbally or physically attacking a girl is the lowest of the low and if any girl is in this predicament they should talk to their teacher and if that does not help then it is a talk with the gardai and give the name of the person of which is bullying you and I think the person will get the message. It's never easy that's forsure and I did say this in a previous post. Unfortunately there are scumbags out there in all walks of life but with a bit of help from the right source it can be stopped in it's tracks.

Acacia

zenno wrote: »

I have to say though, a guy verbally or physically attacking a girl is the lowest of the low and if any girl is in this predicament they should talk to their teacher and if that does not help then it is a talk with the gardai and give the name of the person of which is bullying you and I think the person will get the message. It's never easy that's forsure and I did say this in a previous post. Unfortunately there are scumbags out there in all walks of life but with a bit of help from the right source it can be stopped in it's tracks.

Yes, I found the only thing that sorta worked was telling my parents who informed the teacher, and the situation cooled off for awhile. I'd really love to go back in time and just tell him off to his face though.

I'm probably coming across very over-dramatic or over-sensitive but it's just an issue that's very close to my heart. I've been in counselling and cried about stuff that guy done to me over a decade ago and to the outside world, you'd never know I was carrying all this around with me. That's the real effects of bullying- it's not just about learning to take a joke or toughen up (not saying you're saying this, zenno:)). It ruins lives.

Bullying has such far-reaching consequences, people who dismiss it as ''just having the craic'' or ''sorting the the strong from the weak'' (like previous posters in this thread) really have no idea how ignorant they appear when they make such comments.

mylastparadigm

i had three experiences of chronic bullying in my time. 2 in school - both ended when i cynically attacked said person and had to be restrained by the teacher because yerman wasn getting up and his so called friends went all quiet when they saw him get his arse kicked. never bothered me again.

other occassion was in work. boss was giving me **** forever until i had a few quiet words in his ear about some things i knew about him, about some things he'd lose his job over. then that stopped too. :-)

my advice to anyone being bullied: wait it out - you give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves. or in the playground jungle; attack out of the blue. do your damage before they can get you back. if you hospitalise him, leave a mark on his face, mission accomplished. its the only language they understand. i call it prevenge. if it was genuine bullying, everyone will respect you for it and the bully will be mortified. he'll probably try to makes friends with you.

oh, bullies as a torched soul. f that. we all choose to behave the way we behave. if someone is using their poor background as permission to terrorise some other kids who sticks out a little, they deserve all the prevenge coming to them. there are plenty of great little kids out there with ****ty backgrounds.

my 2 c.

RichieC

You can be sure there's several former, or current bullies in this thread. Probably desperately trying to argue that it is not self esteem issue that causes it.

Duggys Housemate

RichieC wrote: »

You can be sure there's several former, or current bullies in this thread. Probably desperately trying to argue that it is not self esteem issue that causes it.

There was only one pro bully poster. I don't believe that bullies have low self esteem. They make the bullied have low self esteem, though.

http://donaldclarkplanb.blogspot.co.uk/2008/11/i-love-it-when-i-read-something-that.html

zenno

Well all I will finally say in relation to this topic is...If anyone reading this thread is in such a situation and is at this moment being bullied in school or out of school you should speak 'immediately' to your parents and teachers and explain it to them, so this bullying will cease to exist and if you get no satisfaction from both teachers or family seek the gardai as they will help you with this situation.

There are some kids out there that would be afraid to seek help or even ask a teacher for help and maybe be very shy but it is important to seek this help and put your mind at ease because if you don't this infliction by bullies will continue. I'm sure every person out there whether they be young or old remember the days they were in this situation of bullying so just remember seek help from family/teachers or gardai and end the problem there and then. And thereafter enjoy the freedom of movement and enjoyability of playing without the bully on your tail.

codrulz

i think its's apocryphal (enjoy google)

Duggys Housemate

codrulz wrote: »

i think its's apocryphal (enjoy google)

The belief is firmly established in Educational establishment thinking, and allows bullies to be molly coddled in my view.

mylastparadigm

zenno wrote: »

Well all I will finally say in relation to this topic is...If anyone reading this thread is in such a situation and is at this moment being bullied in school or out of school you should speak 'immediately' to your parents and teachers and explain it to them, so this bullying will cease to exist and if you get no satisfaction from both teachers or family seek the gardai as they will help you with this situation.

There are some kids out there that would be afraid to seek help or even ask a teacher for help and maybe be very shy but it is important to seek this help and put your mind at ease because if you don't this infliction by bullies will continue. I'm sure every person out there whether they be young or old remember the days they were in this situation of bullying so just remember seek help from family/teachers or gardai and end the problem there and then. And thereafter enjoy the freedom of movement and enjoyability of playing without the bully on your tail.

i cant say that telling ever worked as far as i saw in my own case or others. but do it anyway. if you end up striking out at the person thats bullying you because telling the teacher, your folks, cops doesnt work, well they all had fair warning.

gozunda

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Bullies can be cowards in that they normally target the weakest/smallest/most vulnerable person in the social group.

There are however, a lot of reasons why bullies are what they are. But primarily, it's a mental disorder that causes a lack of empathy for other people. This along with a high desire for negative attention due to lack of positive attention, results in the stereotypical bully.

Some are just burgeoning sociopaths though...I.E. A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience. Oddly enough, some of the most successfull people in the world fall into that definition.

Another angle concerns the range of Emotional Intelligence that each person has.

Whilst emotional intelligence may help people get on well in with others - the deliberate use of emotional intelligence against others may result in bullying.

I have witnessed individuals with ample amounts of self esteem and who on the face of it appear to be 'nice' people actually use their emotional intelligence to control and bully others and influence others to participate in bullying behaviour

In adult scenarios such as within the workplace - this is often seen in particular situations where the cult of personality is used by highly emotional intelligent individuals to target individuals for victimistation and harrasment, centered around the use of deliberate emotional outbursts to presuade others that any such behaviour is justified.

An extreme example of this happening in history is Mao Se Tung who through the cult of personality whipped up in the counter revolution, the frenzy of millions of students to overthrow their teachers and elders on the basis that these people were variously plotting against Mao Se Tung and which ultimately resulted in the torture, detention and murder of many hundreds of thousands at the hands of Mao Se Tungs thugs

Millicent

libnation wrote: »

Everyone has bullied someone and everyone has been bullied. But not everyone lets it get to them

No they haven't.

Deus Ex Machina

codrulz wrote: »

i think its's apocryphal (enjoy google)

Jaysus now that's annoying. Really hope that doesn't become a trend.

Doc Ruby

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

For the most part, in my experience, I found that they were cowards. They always targeted the most vulnerable, the quietest

Quite often that may be the case, where a bully is suffering from domestic abuse in their own homes growing up, they seek an outlet for their anger on smaller, weaker kids.

However get this - there's the type of bully that is deliberately instructed to act this way by their parents. I call this the "dog" school of parenting, whereby one of the lesser lights somewhere down the line observed how dogs behaved and decided that it must also apply to humans for some reason.

The thinking is fairly simple, obviously, and it goes like this: pick the weakest member of the pack and harass the hell out of them, so you aren't the one getting bullied. That, literally, is it.

I'm not sure when this genius idea arose, probably goes back a while, but if I ever come across it in teams I manage in my professional life I put a stop to it quickly. We are there to achieve a goal or goals set by those good enough to pay our wages, and this is best achieved by complete mutual cooperation within the team, not by trying to shoehorn canine psychology onto people. As obvious as this might seem, I still come across this behaviour in all walks of life.

People are not dogs and don't respond well if you try to treat them as such. If you're experiencing workplace bullying, you have a shitty manager who should be doing something else for a living. Its not the key to success.

Dudess

libnation wrote: »

Everyone has bullied someone

Sure. Whatever makes ya feel better. :pac:

and everyone has been bullied.

Have they?

But not everyone lets it get to them

Yes, it's the person who "lets it get to them" that causes the problem here, not the person who is doing the bullying.

csi vegas

Duggy747 wrote: »

From people I knew and saw they were just plain assholes who picked on others outside of the popular social clique. Years later, I see them and the majority of them hadn't changed a bit. They took the piss out of me for listening to metal and called me the usual shìte like Goth (even though I didn't dress like one :pac:). Fast forward a few years and they were going to KoRn concerts and listening to whatever shìte was popular on Kerrang.

It was a case of picking on those to make themselves appear more popular within that said group.

I remember one guy who was very quiet and a loner would get brutal punishment, I'd talk to the guy in the classes I had with him since nobody else would but his confidence was ruined by those scumbags. Even call him over to us when me and my friends were hanging out and talk about absolutely nothing, just to show him that he didn't have to be alone listening to those shìtheads everyday.

In the end he was forced to leave the school from the way people treated him. Even people who you wouldn't class as bullies would join in the taunting as it was almost uncool not to pick on him.

Cùnts, the lot of them.

Anything to do with KoRn and I'm in there

Also bolded: The poor fella - I had to leave under the same circumstances, aged 15. All girls school, 'posh' bitches the lot of them, one who's father was a surgeon, you'd think she'd know better...
Hope she didn't wind up ever needing use of his expertise or anything

csi vegas

ntlbell wrote: »

we protect everyone now in western society from the weak and socially inept to the intellectually challenged and give them the resources they need to function in society. So as a human race we can't move forward.

OH MY F****NG GOD!

WHO exactly is 'protected' as you would classify it?
Sure, there are organisations floating about the place to create awareness for almost every cause, reports and 'findings' being released daily but what can these groups actually DO to make anyone refrain from in legal terms?Is this what yo mean by 'protection'? Because it doesn't exist.
And sure there are support systems available (AWARE, Samaritains etc) for those experiencing social difficulties, but please tell me WHO is 'protecting' the victims of bullying?

I find it unfortunate that pure, plain bullying of another person can not be classified the same as sexual harassment can, both being a violation of another persons mental and/or physical wellbeing.
Pregnant women, those of other faiths and sexuality etc have certain 'protection' from dicrimination in the aftermath of harassment in the form of redress (unfair dismissal and so on) but victims of bullying under any 'other' circumstances apart from those legislated under one of the nine grounds for can not sue/hold to account their aggressors.
Not in this country anyway.

ntlbell wrote: »

Maybe bullying is a process in selective evolution if the weak and socially inept are bullied enough they'll end their own lives or become recluse so won't have kids. cleaning up the gene pool slightly.

Selective evolution is (if you have any human tendencies anyway) a natural process of life span or evolution of ANIMALS and organisims that for whatever reasons are harmful/no longer useful to their environment in their present state.
To come on here, a friggin internet forum, with x number of thousand posts that you have and declare your theory that victims of bullying should maybe commit suicide and never have children, WHAT kind of a person moron are you really?
Do you even KNOW what you're saying?
Fanclub member of these ugly prícks' society?

him

or him

ntlbell wrote: »

it won't go down well with most but I think it's nicer to think there's a real reason than usually the most liked/popular/strong person in the group having esteem problems or some other form of horse poo

Oh, sure! It's so nice, nice, nice!
So there we have it - the REAL reason why bullies are bullies: It's not that they have self-esteem issues, because they don't, it's just that the weaker should kill themselves and the bullies ought to prosper.
The word according to ntlbell.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ban this freak.

Duggys Housemate

already banned vegas, so not much people can do.

skregs

If you ever look at a documentary about lions, when the lions are hunting buffalo, they always go for the young, the sick, the weak ones. The ones that are most easily picked off, the ones too frail to defend themselves.

The lions aren't cowards, they're being realistic. The weak are there to feed the strong. The strong buffalo survive, the weak lions die.
Weak people get bullied and left behind, the strong go on to be successful.
No one gets upset for the victim, because no one really cares about anyone too weak to defend himself.

Also, anyone with a story thats ends with "and then I punched the bully" or "I whispered in his ear what I would do" actually sits at home crying and making up revenge fantasies.

tl;dr: get over it, losers.

Ush1

skregs wrote: »

If you ever look at a documentary about lions, when the lions are hunting buffalo, they always go for the young, the sick, the weak ones. The ones that are most easily picked off, the ones too frail to defend themselves.

The lions aren't cowards, they're being realistic. The weak are there to feed the strong. The strong buffalo survive, the weak lions die.
Weak people get bullied and left behind, the strong go on to be successful.
No one gets upset for the victim, because no one really cares about anyone too weak to defend himself.

Also, anyone with a story thats ends with "and then I punched the bully" or "I whispered in his ear what I would do" actually sits at home crying and making up revenge fantasies.

tl;dr: get over it, losers.

Where the analogy breaks down there is that the lions are targeting weak prey to eat.

They don't want to make the buffalo feel bad, or suicidal an they would really prefer if they killed a bigger one cause they would have more to eat.

Corkfeen

skregs wrote: »

If you ever look at a documentary about lions, when the lions are hunting buffalo, they always go for the young, the sick, the weak ones. The ones that are most easily picked off, the ones too frail to defend themselves.

The lions aren't cowards, they're being realistic. The weak are there to feed the strong. The strong buffalo survive, the weak lions die.
Weak people get bullied and left behind, the strong go on to be successful.
No one gets upset for the victim, because no one really cares about anyone too weak to defend himself.

Also, anyone with a story thats ends with "and then I punched the bully" or "I whispered in his ear what I would do" actually sits at home crying and making up revenge fantasies.

tl;dr: get over it, losers.

We are far more evolved than lions so should not choose to denigrate other humans. Lions don't kill their own kind btw. Humanity is doomed if we think it's acceptable to harass and abuse people to the point of suicide.Thankfully most don't except for a few idiots like yourself.

Ush1

Corkfeen wrote: »

We are far more evolved than lions so should not choose to denigrate other humans. Lions don't kill their own kind btw. Humanity is doomed if we think it's acceptable to harass and abuse people to the point of suicide.Thankfully most don't except for a few idiots like yourself.

'Cept they do. They kill all cubs in a pride they take over.

csi vegas

skregs wrote: »

1) No one gets upset for the victim, because no one really cares about anyone too weak to defend himself.

2) Also, anyone with a story thats ends with "and then I punched the bully" or "I whispered in his ear what I would do" actually sits at home crying and making up revenge fantasies.

tl;dr: get over it, losers.

Really? Do you have kids? So you're saying that nobody on the planet cares about children? (they are too weak to defend themselves against bigger kids and adults), so no one cares, is that right?
Your son/daughter comes home one day beat up/crying hysterics/stops eating/over eats/self harms/fails every exam/stays back a year/ends up with no friends/goes on long, cold, lonely days on the mitch/locks themselves in their room/stops communicating...
...do you say "kid - I just don't care and no body does!"

2) And so what if they do - they're entitled to be emotional, let it out somehow, it gives release to the bad feelings created by callous individuals such as yourself. Same goes for murderers/rapists.
I take you were never a victim of crime or of ANYTHING by the sounds and I think you can smugly say that you never will be!
Clever you. Clever Centrum!

Doc Ruby

skregs wrote: »

If you ever look at a documentary about lions, when the lions are hunting buffalo, they always go for the young, the sick, the weak ones. The ones that are most easily picked off, the ones too frail to defend themselves.

So, what you're saying is bullies are cannibals?

Dudess

I wouldn't say bullies necessarily have low self esteem, no. I'm not sure they're always even unhappy. Some people are just c*nts.

hondasam

I think some people bully others without realising they are doing it or are unwilling to accept they are in fact bullies. I think bullies want to be popular and to be liked.

The Snipe

Some people have got self esteem issues yes, but that can't be applied to everyone overall -- people who bully could have a lot more going on, be it how they were brought up (normally spoilt, or deprived, although not necessarially one nor the other either).

Some people could just be different in how they act then everyone else, some people could find it hard to control their ability to act out, some may be sociopaths, some may just be very cocky and arrogant, some may just be sadists plain and simple.

Everyone I'd say has bullied in some way or another at some point, either intended or not, it could even be as simple as boasting (or not even boasting, just being really happy with an accomplishment that you have achieved, but people could see it as being cocky, as is often the case that is seen with me, which isn't intended! Which, could actually, put someone down quite a lot, because they may have worked hard for the same thing, or similiar and failed at it, or not have been successful.)

Corkfeen

Ush1 wrote: »

'Cept they do. They kill all cubs in a pride they take over.

I haven't watched David Attenborough in years, so I learnt something new and happily accept the correction. Although I now have a weird image of a woman remarrying and the new husband finding the need to kill the kids....:pac:

CrazyRabbit

skregs wrote: »

If you ever look at a documentary about lions, when the lions are hunting buffalo, they always go for the young, the sick, the weak ones. The ones that are most easily picked off, the ones too frail to defend themselves.

The lions aren't cowards, they're being realistic. The weak are there to feed the strong. The strong buffalo survive, the weak lions die.
Weak people get bullied and left behind, the strong go on to be successful.
No one gets upset for the victim, because no one really cares about anyone too weak to defend himself.

Also, anyone with a story thats ends with "and then I punched the bully" or "I whispered in his ear what I would do" actually sits at home crying and making up revenge fantasies.

tl;dr: get over it, losers.

We are not mindless animals (well except perhaps for the bullies).

Humans are social creatures. We function best within groups, working collectively for the common good. By that definition, bullying is anything but natural.

skregs

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

We are not mindless animals (well except perhaps for the bullies).

Humans are social creatures. We function best within groups, working collectively for the common good. By that definition, bullying is anything but natural.

Bullies are social creatures. Victims are loners with no one to stick up for them. By your definition, bullies improve humanity and should be praised.

comeback_kid

skregs wrote: »

Bullies are social creatures. Victims are loners with no one to stick up for them. By your definition, bullies improve humanity and should be praised.

in our ruthless corporate business culture world , the bully charechter is often promoted and encouraged , the one who is willing to hack , claw and bull thier way to the top is often labeled as a fiercley ambitious go getter who clearly knows what they want while the more sensitive soul is dismissed as lacking in drive or even as being anti competitive

as for the central point , are bullies lacking in self esteem , i think its a cliche to - recieved wisdom to see this as being always the case , go to the top in any major company , sports team or goverment and you will find a lot more lions than lambs , what else but a bully would you call the most successfull football manager in the history of english league football , what else but a bully would you call michael o leary or denis o brien , you dont get very far by being nice in this world , i dont like it being this way but that appears to be the reality

Pottler

send your kids to kickboxing classes from an early age. It then does not really matter what state the bullies self esteem is in, as they tend to avoid. My eldest was bullied at primary school before I made him go to kickboxing.
After about 10 weeks of training he became a much happier, and surprising to me, hugely popular lad who has never looked back since. His confidence soared, his physique was transformed and suddenly he was popular with the girls.
Any chance of him being bullied is now laughable and the same goes for my younger lad. It transformed school from a torture for him to somthing he heads off to happily. He has never once got into a fight at school, other lads just know not to mess and I would recommend it to any parent facing similar issues. Nobody could hit him as hard as the hits he gets in the ring so he just has no fear of anyone anymore-it also means he has nothing to prove eg. acting tough/causing grief etc.

comeback_kid

Pottler wrote: »

send your kids to kickboxing classes from an early age. It then does not really matter what state the bullies self esteem is in, as they tend to avoid. My eldest was bullied at primary school before I made him go to kickboxing.
After about 10 weeks of training he became a much happier, and surprising to me, hugely popular lad who has never looked back since. His confidence soared, his physique was transformed and suddenly he was popular with the girls.
Any chance of him being bullied is now laughable and the same goes for my younger lad. It transformed school from a torture for him to somthing he heads off to happily. He has never once got into a fight at school, other lads just know not to mess and I would recommend it to any parent facing similar issues. Nobody could hit him as hard as the hits he gets in the ring so he just has no fear of anyone anymore-it also means he has nothing to prove eg. acting tough/causing grief etc.

its important to teach sons that using thier fists is ok when dealing with people who would do them harm , teachers cannot be trusted to deal with issues of bullying or at least not in every school

Corkfeen

skregs wrote: »

Bullies are social creatures. Victims are loners with no one to stick up for them. By your definition, bullies improve humanity and should be praised.

Bullies alienate people who have insecurities or physically abuse them to the point where it might take them years to be capable of dealing with people comfortably again. I'm assuming that you have probably bullied people in the past? Because the following applies to such people who deem it acceptable to be bullies. They are degenerates but admittedly many do not have low self esteem. Ethics is something that is relatively complex to them given the fact that they think it's acceptable to psychological scar someone, possibly for life. Many engage in a mob mentality where they gang up on an individual and there is an animalistic aspect to this, they behave like hyenas.

But we are humans and our brains are far more capable of understanding how absurd, illogical and cruel our actions are. We are capable of creating the unimaginable and amazing but why the hell would an individual choose to denigrate the person they view to be weak or have an insecurity that can be exploited. Half of the people that they end up bullying are probably more likely to actually succeed in a fantastic future in science or business than the bully themselves. It is not in any way intelligent to gang up or target individuals. This is why I'd choose to never bully a person.

I'll happily admit that I've been a loner for much of my life but that is more to do with dickheads who deemed it acceptable to push someone to the brink of suicide during their teenage life. I was one of those people who feared going into school every day and on a regular basis, I pretended to be sick to get out of it. If we're to maintain your rather deluded ideas on bullying, it can easily be extended to the point where racism, homophobia etc are perfectly acceptable because you can view them as weaker if they succumb to your slurs or beatings. There's a lack of humanity and a rather depraved view of what you deem to be acceptable in your post. Being bullied does not make you physically or mentally weak. In fact plenty of people who were bullied end up far more successful than their bully counterparts.

Out of interest, what age are you?

comeback_kid

Corkfeen wrote: »

Bullies alienate people who have insecurities or physically abuse them to the point where it might take them years to be capable of dealing with people comfortably again. I'm assuming that you have probably bullied people in the past? Because the following applies to such people who deem it acceptable to be bullies. They are degenerates but admittedly many do not have low self esteem. Ethics is something that is relatively complex to them given the fact that they think it's acceptable to psychological scar someone, possibly for life. Many engage in a mob mentality where they gang up on an individual and there is an animalistic aspect to this, they behave like hyenas.

But we are humans and our brains are far more capable of understanding how absurd, illogical and cruel our actions are. We are capable of creating the unimaginable and amazing but why the hell would an individual choose to denigrate the person they view to be weak or have an insecurity that can be exploited. Half of the people that they end up bullying are probably more likely to actually succeed in a fantastic future in science or business than the bully themselves. It is not in any way intelligent to gang up or target individuals. This is why I'd choose to never bully a person.

I'll happily admit that I've been a loner for much of my life but that is more to do with dickheads who deemed it acceptable to push someone to the brink of suicide during their teenage life. I was one of those people who feared going into school every day and on a regular basis, I pretended to be sick to get out of it. If we're to maintain your rather deluded ideas on bullying, it can easily be extended to the point where racism, homophobia etc are perfectly acceptable because you can view them as weaker if they succumb to your slurs or beatings. There's a lack of humanity and a rather depraved view of what you deem to be acceptable in your post. Being bullied does not make you physically or mentally weak. In fact plenty of people who were bullied end up far more successful than their bully counterparts.

Out of interest, what age are you?

the one trait all bullies possess is not low self esteem but arrogance , it takes a very high degree of arrogance to bring yourself to treat someone with absolute contempt

i once had a bully say the following to me , give me one reason why i shouldnt treat you like sh1t

CaSCaDe711

Bullies are c**ts, and Karma will sort them all out in the end

nyarlothothep

What I find sad about this thread are the weak attempts at justifying bullying as some form of beneficial social darwinism, which more often than not is the preserve of d1cks with chips the size of planets on their shoulders, the internet is a spawning vat for them. Bullying is an evolutionary throwback to primate behaviour, something most humans should be able to control through self awareness, reflection and so on.

candy-gal1

Ussually gob****es who have low self esteem or had extremely low self esteem with not much going on in their head/life.



Thats what i know to be true so far in life anyway

MaroonAndGreen

Bullying is ****, but it happens all the time among younger people.. and although lots of you have said they cant change... well I've seen bullies change and not been bad at all once they got a bit of sense. Dont have them all painted as pricks for life like! Although I know thats easy for me to say as I wouldnt say I've been bullied..

Although of course some ***** dont get sense! And I'm not at all condoning bullying.

Just saying I think alot of it among youngsters is just purely having no sense of how they make people feel around them, and not pure badness?

Daftendirekt

skregs wrote: »

If you ever look at a documentary about lions, when the lions are hunting buffalo, they always go for the young, the sick, the weak ones. The ones that are most easily picked off, the ones too frail to defend themselves.

The lions aren't cowards, they're being realistic. The weak are there to feed the strong. The strong buffalo survive, the weak lions die.
Weak people get bullied and left behind, the strong go on to be successful.
No one gets upset for the victim, because no one really cares about anyone too weak to defend himself.

Also, anyone with a story thats ends with "and then I punched the bully" or "I whispered in his ear what I would do" actually sits at home crying and making up revenge fantasies.

tl;dr: get over it, losers.

After reading this, I actually went back to thank Doc Ruby's post:

Quite often that may be the case, where a bully is suffering from domestic abuse in their own homes growing up, they seek an outlet for their anger on smaller, weaker kids.

However get this - there's the type of bully that is deliberately instructed to act this way by their parents. I call this the "dog" school of parenting, whereby one of the lesser lights somewhere down the line observed how dogs behaved and decided that it must also apply to humans for some reason.

The thinking is fairly simple, obviously, and it goes like this: pick the weakest member of the pack and harass the hell out of them, so you aren't the one getting bullied. That, literally, is it.

I'm not sure when this genius idea arose, probably goes back a while, but if I ever come across it in teams I manage in my professional life I put a stop to it quickly. We are there to achieve a goal or goals set by those good enough to pay our wages, and this is best achieved by complete mutual cooperation within the team, not by trying to shoehorn canine psychology onto people. As obvious as this might seem, I still come across this behaviour in all walks of life.

People are not dogs and don't respond well if you try to treat them as such. If you're experiencing workplace bullying, you have a shitty manager who should be doing something else for a living. Its not the key to success.

Not quite the same thing, but the mentality is there: observe the behaviour of a random non-human animal, and apply what you see to humans.

Very silly.

Humans are humans, lions are lions. We don't behave the same way as lions, nor are we required to. Most civilised societies and most reasonable people have rejected Social Darwinism so using it as a justification for bullying just makes you look stupid.

And thanks to everyone who shared, it's made for interesting reading.