Heating oil has run out

hairyprincess

tips on keeping warm if you will :pac:

Ficheall

*PM sent*

IM0

use olive oil its a great lubricant

ArtSmart

firstly, the word hairy and princess in such close proximity, well it hurtsssss.


second, a fire, a lover, an electric heater/ blanket, a lover.

Cantona's Collars

Masturbate furiously.

ScummyMan

Get some more oil

Shryke

Wear more clothes dumbass.

starbelgrade

It's not even cold.

Dunny

Skimpy night dress, go next door.

Fenian Army

Ah I hope you didnt airlock your boiler!

IM0

shout at it. it'll work then

Pherekydes

Run up and down the stairs 300 times.

hairyprincess

ArtSmart wrote: »

firstly, the word hairy and princess in such close proximity, well it hurtsssss.


second, a fire, a lover, an electric heater/ blanket, a lover.

Got the fire...........

Shryke wrote: »

Wear more clothes dumbass.

Ouch

starbelgrade wrote: »

It's not even cold.

Ah hellooooo, it's 3 little degrees :eek:
Radio Moscow is about to air

woodoo

Climb into the bed and don't get out till summer comes

IM0

all that extra hair you have is earning its keep now

hairyprincess

Fenian Army wrote: »

Ah I hope you didnt airlock your boiler!

Ah I have a man for that!

hairyprincess

IM0 wrote: »

all that extra hair you have is earning its keep now

And I'm saving money on razor blades, tis win-win

Pherekydes

Shiver more!

Thrill

Hot shower.

IM0

Fenian Army wrote: »

Ah I hope you didnt airlock your boiler!

hairyprincess wrote: »

Ah I have a man for that!

he's doing it instead :eek:

KKkitty

Hot water bottle. Is it your only form of heating?

IM0

plug in the hair dryer and get to work then when warm [and broke] get into bed

o1s1n

Deep heat.

starbelgrade

Light a small fire at the end of the bed.

hairyprincess

KKkitty wrote: »

Hot water bottle. Is it your only form of heating?

No I have a fire in the parlour, but the rest of the house is cold

patwicklow

Tilt the tank a little bit do till u get a refill its what i do lol

IM0

starbelgrade wrote: »

Light a small fire at the end of the bed.

rubbish :mad: chop up the bed and make a fire with it. sleep is for losers anyway

starbelgrade

Top up the oil tank with water and vinegar. The vinegar will kickstart the combustion process.

IM0

hairyprincess wrote: »

No I have a fire in the parlour, but the rest of the house is cold

you are staying in a hotel. Id complain if I was you. what kind of a shambles is the place :mad:

Pottler

do what yer man above said(I think he was posting in swahili though), tilt the tank - stick a brick or somthing under the end opposite from where the pipe comes out and you will get 4/5 hours run time. Press the button in on the red box on the burner to get it to re-start, you might have to press it a few times waiting about 20 secs between presses till it fires. That or masturbate furiously, as said before. I'd go with the tilting though- the other could lead to walking difficulties in the morning.

Close all the doors, keep all the curtains shut. Layer up. Hot water bottle. Blanket. Make sure you're well fed.

Cuppa tea.

keithb93

I havent had oil for the past 2 months. My bedroom is 14 degrees

H2UMrsRobinson

+1 on the tank tilting option

A breeze block gives us another couple of days out of ours.

Pottler

keithb93 wrote: »

I havent had oil for the past 2 months. My bedroom is 14 degrees

Apparently there a lad with an empty house next door that has a full tank. Go take that, you have our permission.(for those with long memories:)) Is 14 degrees cold? I've no idea, it's feckin roasting here at my gaff, too hot to think really.

IM0

keithb93 wrote: »

I havent had oil for the past 2 months. My bedroom is 14 degrees

thats an irish summer, get use to it.

keithb93

IM0 wrote: »

thats an irish summer, get use to it.

Oh im well used to it by now.

IM0

keithb93 wrote: »

Oh im well used to it by now.

so now when the temps hit a daily high of 18 degrees in july you can declare it a heatwave for yourself. silver linings

Stiffler2

siphen some from your neighbours tank,

Warning - do this at 3:30am

stovelid

Self-immolation.

SEPT 23 1989

Cover yourself in deep heat and drink lighter fluid

Nothingbetter2d

wear more clothes

ejmaztec

Load up with Brussel sprouts, light a fart in the bed, and the fiery Armageddon will keep you warm for three months*.






*might need hospitalisation for skin-grafts.

WoollyRedHat

Set your house on fire, that oughta do the trick.

The Radiator

Nothing, you're gonna die

Izzy j

Ive no heating oil either. It's Baltic at my gaff,huddled under the duvet while I browse boards. I do have a great little hot water bottle in the form of a jack Russell terrier:eek:

ninebeanrows

The best thing to do is to as one of my friends has done, chopped down a few trees and used it as firewood.

A hefty tree can keep you going for 3 months or more!

So get choppin'

harvester of sorrow

hairyprincess wrote: »

No I have a fire in the parlour, but the rest of the house is cold

Well la-de-fucking-da.....

Yakult

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIJAsKCLTqc

Technology is great!

WoollyRedHat

Yakult wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIJAsKCLTqc

Technology is great!

At 1.12.00 it really gets into it, best part.

hairyprincess

And the oil man said let there be heat.......and there was!

Four hundred and sixty goddamn euros worth :eek:

At least the rest of the castle shall be warm for the servants. I do like to look after them *cracks whip at Jeeves*