Friends with benefits...

Elba101

What are your views on so called Fcuk buddies? Good idea or bad idea?

I ask because I think it's a good idea if both people are clear on what it is, but anyone ever had one where it went wrong? Ended with someone getting really hurt? Or anyone just slip into a relationship from it?

Dravokivich

Have you?

hairyprincess

Elba101 wrote: »

What are your views on so called Fcuk buddies? Good idea or bad idea?

I ask because I think it's a good idea if both people are clear on what it is, but anyone ever had one where it went wrong? Ended with someone getting really hurt? Or anyone just slip into a relationship from it?

:D:D

inforfun

Might happen a lot that 1 of the 2 was actually hoping for more and just agrees to the deal in the hope to get more out of it in the end.

Peetrik

Elba101 wrote: »

anyone ever had one where it went wrong?

Ah no I'd say that never happens, people tend to be very reasonable and logical when it comes to confused emotions. Especially Women.

Elba101

Dravokivich wrote: »

Have you?

Nope, but not into ONS so just doing some research...

hairyprincess wrote: »

:D:D

Elba101

Peetrik wrote: »

Ah no I'd say that never happens, people tend to be very reasonable and logical when it comes to confused emotions. Especially Women.

Or a penis.

sbsquarepants

Elba101 wrote: »

What are your views on so called Fcuk buddies? Good idea or bad idea?

I ask because I think it's a good idea if both people are clear on what it is, but anyone ever had one where it went wrong? Ended with someone getting really hurt? Or anyone just slip into a relationship from it?

Has anyone had one were it didn't?

Personally i think they're great in theory, but not quite so great in practice.

smash

Elba101 wrote: »

anyone ever had one where it went wrong? Ended with someone getting really hurt?

Like, from anal or something?

jdee99

at the time it was a great idea (I am a bloke) but what started as a good idea turned out to be a bloody nightmare in the end (took two years to get to that point mind) when she wanted more then I was giving her if you see what I mean.

Cokeistan

I'd probably stay away from it, I can only imagine it leading to complications down the line, like if you or your fúck buddy were to get with someone else, it could lead to hurting the other persons feelings and end up in a fight posssibly

sbsquarepants

jdee99 wrote: »

at the time it was a great idea (I am a bloke) but what started as a good idea turned out to be a bloody nightmare in the end (took two years to get to that point mind) when she wanted more then I was giving her if you see what I mean.

Tiny dick?:D

Elba101

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Has anyone had one were it didn't?

Personally i think they're great in theory, but not quite so great in practice.

First hand experience?

Crooked Jack

They're great for the first while but they always, always end up with one person wanting more than the other. Can also be awkward when it comes to going back to being jsut friends

eviltwin

Once you both know exactly what the setup is then fine but I agree with Cokeistan. Even if you both start on the same page emotions can get in the way. I would hate to ruin a good friendship or risk hurting someone else or getting hurt myself for a shag.

sonyvision

Peetrik wrote: »

Ah no I'd say that never happens, people tend to be very reasonable and logical when it comes to confused emotions. Especially Women.

Especially woman...... Very True:rolleyes:

Passed experience has showed me any way its a gd idea as long as both people understand it goes no were..... but after some time your bound to get attached to the other person (dont think this can be helped in most cases)..... My view was F**k buddies... her view was were together because it went on for a few weeks

Sky King

A friend of mine gets a company car, gym membership and health insurance. He says it's great, so i suppose yeah, it's a good idea.

krudler

Been there, its fun as long as people know exactly what it is and not expecting more, but if you or the other person finds jealousy creeping in then its time to call it a day

SunnyDub1

always going to end bad...

one person will eventually start to want more imo

sbsquarepants

Elba101 wrote: »

First hand experience?

Yea. Wasn't a disaster or anything, just a bit awkward when it needn't have been so.
Seems to me the normal pattern is for one party to start to want more out of it than the other. A lot of people can't seperate sex and emotion, particularly women i think. (No feminist rants please! it's just my opinion)

sonyvision

Agree with above ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

seanmc1980

women cant seperate sex from emotiona attachments. i the past i have had a few **** buddys but in the end no matter what you agree at the start she always end up sobbing at your door at 4 in the morning declaring her love for you!

El Horseboxo

I've had 3 'friends with benefits' in my life. Now they are neither. And the girls fell out with the overall group of friends too over them in 2 of the instances as we were all part of the same group. It was all made clear between us that it was just sex as I really wasn't looking for a relationship. I knew I wanted to travel a lot so wanted to stay single. But the girls obviously agreed to the fúck buddy thing in the hope it would lead to more. And of course to a lot of my female friends at the time I came off as the prick despite me never once stringing them along.

Elba101

seanmc1980 wrote: »

women cant seperate sex from emotiona attachments. i the past i have had a few **** buddys but in the end no matter what you agree at the start she always end up sobbing at your door at 4 in the morning declaring her love for you!

Maybe you're just that good in the sack?

Gummy Panda

I thought this thread was going to be about friends on the dole.

I was ready to do some dole bashing

eviltwin

seanmc1980 wrote: »

women cant seperate sex from emotiona attachments. i the past i have had a few **** buddys but in the end no matter what you agree at the start she always end up sobbing at your door at 4 in the morning declaring her love for you!

I think you need to ask yourself were you completely honest with her from the start about what your relationship was? I would imagine some people are a bit vague about it because deep down they know if they ask someone to be a fcuk buddy it probably won't fly.

If you did and she knew it was only physical then its sad but ultimately her own fault.

number10a

seanmc1980 wrote: »

women cant seperate sex from emotiona attachments. i the past i have had a few **** buddys but in the end no matter what you agree at the start she always end up sobbing at your door at 4 in the morning declaring her love for you!

Ah the joys of being a dirty homo. :D

leggo

I've had a few. It always ends badly. Usually with the women wanting more, but once it was me.

The end of the arrangement is never nice, but then neither is the end of any relationship. I wouldn't say that it's not worth doing like. You just have to be completely honest and up front with each other from the get-go, then have the cop on and maturity to recognise when one is getting serious feelings for the other. That's when you need to call time on it.

Mr Benevolent

I've had one and it turned into a great relationship. We're still together six years later. Worked for me.

Jimoslimos

Peetrik wrote: »

Ah no I'd say that never happens, people tend to be very reasonable and logical when it comes to confused emotions. Especially Women.

seanmc1980 wrote: »

women cant seperate sex from emotiona attachments. i the past i have had a few **** buddys but in the end no matter what you agree at the start she always end up sobbing at your door at 4 in the morning declaring her love for you!

Sorry guys, fair amount of bullsh1t being spouted here. We men are just as guilty, especially when it comes to jealousy & possessiveness. It's primal human nature not to want the female you're essentially mating with to sleep around with other guys.

gcgirl

seanmc1980 wrote: »

women cant seperate sex from emotiona attachments. i the past i have had a few **** buddys but in the end no matter what you agree at the start she always end up sobbing at your door at 4 in the morning declaring her love for you!

This is why I think I was born with a male brain !! I a woman I can fook somebody and really not give a shít about it afters !

A_Sober_Paddy

I suggested it once, never got off the ground tho:(

Susie_Q

I had a FWB arrangement once, we would see each other every once in a while, have some fun and then go our separate ways. It was great, I really enjoyed it, until one day he told me he loved me. And thus endth the arrangement; I didn't feel the same way. Nice guy though, and we ended on friendly terms.

prinz

gcgirl wrote: »

This is why I think I was born with a male brain !! I a woman I can fook somebody and really not give a shít about it afters !

What does that have to do with a male brain?

Kiera

It’s not my thing but each to their own. If it works for you then go for it. People need to call it a day as soon as feelings start getting in the way tho.

leggo

Jimoslimos wrote: »

Sorry guys, fair amount of bullsh1t being spouted here. We men are just as guilty, especially when it comes to jealousy & possessiveness. It's primal human nature not to want the female you're essentially mating with to sleep around with other guys.

I wouldn't go as far as to say it's our 'nature', as in it's impossible to have no emotional attachment. I mean, I've had arrangements where I could literally call them up at 3am and leave at 4am and we wouldn't talk in between. Then other arrangements where we pretty much act as if we're in a relationship while together, then when we're not it's back to regular single life. Both just filling a gap, literally and emotionally, because it suits both parties at that time.

But I do agree it's not specifically a male/female thing (though females do face heavier social pressure to steer clear of these kind of arrangements, which is a large contributing factor). And it's very rare and difficult to keep one going for very long with both people on the exact same page.

Meauldsegosha

I had a great arrangement going with a guy we both knew it was what it was. We're both in separate relationships now but still talk on a weekly basis and meet for drinks or food regularly either with or without our partners.

super_furry

One person usually develops feelings for the other, and it ends in a mess.

stripysocks85

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

I had a great arrangement going with a guy we both knew it was what it was. We're both in separate relationships now but still talk on a weekly basis and meet for drinks or food regularly either with or without our partners.

I don't know if meeting for food/drinks is the type of 'benefits' that are being referred to...........!!!!!!!!

Mickey Dazzler

My current relationship started out as a fuck buddy arrangement..... somehow we fell in love. Fucking hate when that happens.

In theory it's a great idea.

Catxscotch

Mine worked out really well, he was available for me when I needed him, and then when I started seeing someone we just cooled it. Don't see him now as it was in college, but we are still on good terms...worked out well!!

Nothingbetter2d

fcuk buddies are great from time to time.... perfect for when ye just want a shag without all the crap a relationship entails.

Meauldsegosha

stripysocks85 wrote: »

I don't know if meeting for food/drinks is the type of 'benefits' that are being referred to...........!!!!!!!!

Re-read my post. We started off as f*ck buddy's and it worked because we both knew what it was. We are still good friends even though that side of this has ended.

Don't be so quick to dismiss people in future.

WindSock

Woah. Think it was a joke...

GLaDOS

Had an on/off thing going for a while. Being open and honest about it to each other about your feelings (or lack of) is key imo.

Conbhar

Only did it the once with a girl i knew for a good few years. Started out really well, meeting up a couple of times a week and all that. We both knew what the score was and we wer both happy enough but after about three months it all went tits up cause she wanted a bit more than a fuk buddies and well i didnt. It ended up a total mess and we havent properly talked to each other since and that was four years ago.

herisson

it can be a good idea especially if there are no feelings there!

ive had two one was an ok guy but he reminded me of someone that i knew and it freaked me out so i could never develop feelings for him...

the more recent one i developed feelings for and it killed me inside so i had to stop it...he was a perfectly nice guy and i started to fall for him but i kinda knew nothing more would ever happen between us so i had to stop it before i felt any worse..

they can be a good thing if there are no feelings there

Micky Dolenz

Fcuk buddy and friend with benefits are different things.

smash

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

ive had two one was an ok guy but he reminded me of someone that i knew and it freaked me out so i could never develop feelings for him...

Isn't that the point?

Jammy Donut

When I was 15,
I was given the chance with an X-GF, I said no.... I wanted nothing to do with her cause she broke my heart a few weeks before.


The saying 'We always regret the things we didn't do not the things we did' Is soooooo true