Friends with benefits...

Jammy Donut

Jammy Donut wrote: »

The saying 'We always regret the things we didn't do not the things we did' Is soooooo true

I prefer the saying "don't look back, you're not going that way"

GLaDOS

Jammy Donut wrote: »

When I was 15,
I was given the chance with an X-GF, I said no.... I wanted nothing to do with her cause she broke my heart a few weeks before.

Probably did the right thing, long term.

stripysocks85

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Re-read my post. We started off as f*ck buddy's and it worked because we both knew what it was. We are still good friends even though that side of this has ended.

Don't be so quick to dismiss people in future.

Chillax. No need to be so defensive!

Snowie

Say if she a lot older then you, different generation... but you get on can have great conversations but there sexual attraction the sex is like so god damm good one fvck and the two of you are Kod on the bed heart racing sweat and general love juice all over the place enjoying deepen intense orgasim that last 30 minutes..

Its hardly a fvck buddy no is it and its certainly not a friend with benefits...


ahh wait thats it

Lucky

leggo

Love juice??

herisson

smash wrote: »

Isn't that the point?

yeah it is but he was a bit of a dick anyway and the guy he reminded me of was also a dick...i should have said that in the post

Snowie

leggo wrote: »

Love juice??

clearly you never watched boogie nights

Battered Mars Bar

Elba101 wrote: »

What are your views on so called Fcuk buddies? Good idea or bad idea?

I ask because I think it's a good idea if both people are clear on what it is, but anyone ever had one where it went wrong? Ended with someone getting really hurt? Or anyone just slip into a relationship from it?

My last funbud decided to fall for me :rolleyes: Had to be ended there and then. It was her own fault that she got hurt because I made the parameters of the arrangement clear from the beginning. She was one of these, "I'll give him a good rogering and he'll fall for me eventually" types... guess what, didn't happen :P

plein de force

it'll only work if you both don't have the same group of friends. otherwise it's just awkward and will lead to problems

suicide_circus

i'm a guy and tbh i'm not the best at separating sex and emotion, love the cuddles

Teyla Emmagan

Tried it alright and it worked out badly. I am not made to separate sex and emotion either.

Lux23

It can often end badly.

leggo

Snowie wrote: »

clearly you never watched boogie nights

Ah grand, apologies. I thought you were the type of person who called penises 'gear-sticks of passion' and vaginas 'lustycaves' there for a second.

Elba101

Seems a lot of people have had a bad experience...

I don't know if I could seperate the two. If it's a ONS then grand, I'm not the ONS type. But I do have needs and a fun buddy looks like a good option. The thing is, I wouldn't wanna shag any of my friends.

Mammanabammana

I can type fuck. I don't have to type fcuk, f*ck, fu.ck or any of the other variations. Watch me go, look...fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Etc...

Nothingbetter2d

suicide_circus wrote: »

i'm a guy and tbh i'm not the best at separating sex and emotion, love the cuddles

buy a teddy for the cuddles, and just fcuk that pussy

comeback_kid

Elba101 wrote: »

What are your views on so called Fcuk buddies? Good idea or bad idea?

I ask because I think it's a good idea if both people are clear on what it is, but anyone ever had one where it went wrong? Ended with someone getting really hurt? Or anyone just slip into a relationship from it?

i think its an utterly destructive idea and a pretty disgusting concept , its halfway between a meaningless one night stand and an open relationship but is twice as tacky as either

sbsquarepants

Mammanabammana wrote: »

I can type fuck. I don't have to type fcuk, f*ck, fu.ck or any of the other variations. Watch me go, look...fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Etc...

Wanna be buddies, buddy?:D

Elba101

comeback_kid wrote: »

i think its an utterly destructive idea and a pretty disgusting concept , its halfway between a meaningless one night stand and an open relationship but is twice as tacky as either

Ah no I wouldn't agree with that now. First of all, you know the person. Secondly, you have needs that need to be filled and, as long as each person knows this, no one will get hurt. Thirdly, if I had a fcuk buddy I wouldn't be shagging anyone one else because, well, if I want sex that's what my fcuk buddy is there for.

So, for me, it wouldn't at all be "halfway between a meaningless one night stand and an open relationship".

Logical Fallacy

Elba101 wrote: »

Seems a lot of people have had a bad experience...

I don't know if I could seperate the two. If it's a ONS then grand, I'm not the ONS type. But I do have needs and a fun buddy looks like a good option. The thing is, I wouldn't wanna shag any of my friends.

The general point is that they shouldn't really be friends. Ideally people you know on the periphery of your social circle.

Elba101

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

The general point is that they shouldn't really be friends. Ideally people you know on the periphery of your social circle.

Yeah I suppose that is a better idea. I would have to know the person though. Just to make sure they are clean and what not.

sbsquarepants

comeback_kid wrote: »

i think its an utterly destructive idea and a pretty disgusting concept , its halfway between a meaningless one night stand and an open relationship but is twice as tacky as either

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you've been called a prude at some point in the past?

Elba101 wrote: »

Yeah I suppose that is a better idea. I would have to know the person though. Just to make sure they are clean and what not.

I'll just jump in the shower first Elba, you know, to wash the AIDS off! Make yourself comfortable, grab a drink, i'll be down in 5 minutes!:)

homerun_homer

Elba101 wrote: »

What are your views on so called Fcuk buddies? Good idea or bad idea?

I ask because I think it's a good idea if both people are clear on what it is, but anyone ever had one where it went wrong? Ended with someone getting really hurt? Or anyone just slip into a relationship from it?

I'm ok with the whole situation. Only have had one FWB which developed that way after I gave up on wanting a relationship with someone. She kept getting flirty in texts and asking to meet so I'd go for it.

We still talk and she still flirts online but I've kept clear of her for over a year. I was getting sick of it but after she asked me to stay in a hotel with her while she was over for a weekend and she left me hanging while she had to reestablish to another guy that she had dumped him (I knew nothing about him til then) then I decided enough was enough. She texted me the next night asking me to keep her company and I ignored her.

A few months later she texted to say she missed me so I think I was best to steer clear since I was the one who didn't want to go out with her.

blue note

Communism works in theory.

Elba101

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'll just jump in the shower first Elba, you know, to wash the AIDS off! Make yourself comfortable, grab a drink, i'll be down in 5 minutes!:)

Sometimes I like it with the AIDS. Maybe you could throw in some gonorrhea for the laugh?



:pac:

Borat_Sagdiyev

blue note wrote: »

Communism works in theory.

Democracy doesn't work in practise.

Davyhal

Nah, doesn't work... very awkward when one of the two people meets someone new... it is impossible to go back to just being mates after that. Either its too awkward, or else someone is jealous, or someone has fallen for the other. I've learnt not to go down that road again... Too many good friendships are now just awkward greetings when we meet out.

comeback_kid

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you've been called a prude at some point in the past?



I'll just jump in the shower first Elba, you know, to wash the AIDS off! Make yourself comfortable, grab a drink, i'll be down in 5 minutes!:)

no , i havent been called a prude because i dont discuss things like this outside the arena of an internet forum , i dont pontificate to people about how they should live , since this forum is annonymous however , i doubt anyone will be too afronted or offended by my opinions

Reiketsu

A friend and I did this. It ended horrifically. I fell completely in love with him and he didn't see me in that way at all. I don't recommend it. Maybe it can work some people but in my case it definitely did not.

sbsquarepants

Elba101 wrote: »

Sometimes I like it with the AIDS. Maybe you could throw in some gonorrhea for the laugh?



:pac:

No problem, was gonna throw it in there as a surprise anyway!

splendid101

jdee99 wrote: »

at the time it was a great idea (I am a bloke) but what started as a good idea turned out to be a bloody nightmare in the end (took two years to get to that point mind) when she wanted more then I was giving her if you see what I mean.

Your dick was too small.

ihsb

I cannot see how it can work. Personally I couldn't just turn off emotions. So no casual sex for me! I just see people get hurt from FWB all the time.

stupidusername

I've had one of these. he was a good enough friend, but think he only continued being a friend because we were having sex. once we stopped he basically stopped talking to me, and deleted me from fb (the new way you know you're done with). Meh, no big loss.

steddyeddy

I like friends with benifits. Had a friend from down the country one and anytime she came up to Dublin we met up and had a laugh. It was definatly fun but theres no denying its a strange situation. Friends dont usually dress up as nurses for other friends (I wasnt the one dressed as a nurse!). I think its just good to enjoy it and not think to much about when its time to stop or oart ways!

steddyeddy

Jimoslimos wrote: »

Sorry guys, fair amount of bullsh1t being spouted here. We men are just as guilty, especially when it comes to jealousy & possessiveness. It's primal human nature not to want the female you're essentially mating with to sleep around with other guys.

Bigtime men are just as emotional as women just in different ways (sometimes).

Curious one

The idea is great as long as both are consenting not get emotionally involved, yet its very hard for one of the two not to start thinking of getting emotionally involved in the end.

smileyj1987

I have had a FWB before and its not worth it at all . She ended up getting hurt because I fell for a friend of hers and she ruined it on me because of jealously . It might work for some people but not everybody .

leggo

See I don't get what people here mean by saying it won't 'work'. What does that mean in this context? It won't work out long-term? It won't turn into a relationship? That's kind of the point.

If the pair of you have sex, hey presto, it worked! That's the only goal of the whole operation.

You can't live your life by the possibility of getting hurt at a later date. The only way to combat that is to shelter yourself from everything, and that's not living at all then.

I get that it mightn't be for everyone, but to say that it won't 'work' kind of winds me up. It's the type of dismissive non-logic you'd hear from someone of an older generation who simply doesn't understand something but writes it off anyway.

whistlingtitan

I see no problem with it at worked fine for me
I think where it goes wrong is that it goes from casual ie once a week or two to a few times a week and then it is no longer fwb

me m

good for a poke when the telly is broke

universe777

it's always good to know someone on the dole..

sam34

I see no problem with it as long as both people are honest that they only want sex and one person isn't secretly hoping for more.

I've had 3- one lasted a year until I met someone else, one lasted about six months til he met someone else and the third is kinda ongoing- we live far away from each other but do get to meet at work conferences a few times a year and we generally hook up then.

this blanket notion that women can't separate sex from love is bullsh1t- I can and I know plenty others who can. some women can't, just as some men can't.

FWBs aren't for everyone but they can work very well

ziggy23

Are great if that's all it is sex but if feelings start to creep in time to bail outa there;)

ash23

I've never had a FWB. I've never been attracted to my male friends.

I have had f*ck buddy situations though and they work reasonably well so long as everyone knows the score. I've never had one end badly, they just fizzle out. Although one did start wanting to hang out and watch dvds and stuff so that one had to have a premature ending.

wilkie2006

I tend to avoid fraternising with those on state benefits. Oh yes, they're perfectly nice, you say; "just like you and I", you say. Well what happens when one's possessions begin to "wander". Oh yes, despite their friendly facades and pretences towards innocence, they're all filthy, thieving vipers.

Oh, hang on... you mean "friends with benefits"... oh.


This is, I'm sure you realise, meant as quite tongue-in-cheek.

ardinn

Ooooh just found this thread and i'm currently in the situation where I think she is starting to get attached - whats the best way out. (of course "way out" means I still get me hole 4 times a week!)

Funkfield

I only ever had one and it ended terribly. Started off fine. We both knew what we were doing. We had worked together briefly but then she got moved to another area but we'd still see each other socially and hey hey, it was class. Everything went really well but as has been said before here, one of the two always gets more into it than the other. I won't bore you all with the details but long story short I ended up having to be talked down from the roof of Busárus, while wearing a clown costume and carrying her severed head in a Londis bag.

Truth be told, I'd be against them. They always end messily.

minidazzler

May have been said already, but Fcuk buddies and friends with benefits are two completely separate things. One you meet only for sex, the other you might go for a coffee with and just be friends.

Had a few, some went wrong on my end, some went wrong on their end, and some just stopped. Not that big a deal as you move past eventually.

Dudess

ardinn wrote: »

Ooooh just found this thread and i'm currently in the situation where I think she is starting to get attached - whats the best way out. (of course "way out" means I still get me hole 4 times a week!)

Stop being a cowardly user?

minidazzler

ardinn wrote: »

Ooooh just found this thread and i'm currently in the situation where I think she is starting to get attached - whats the best way out. (of course "way out" means I still get me hole 4 times a week!)

Yeah, I've found once a week at max will stop most attachments growing on either side. Either way, if she's attached and you're not that into her, the polite thing to do is give up. It's not really fair to let someone live in hope when you know they want more.