Honest = Mean?

comeback_kid

MadYaker wrote: »

Ive often gotten myself in trouble for being honest with people. Everyone says I'm too blunt.... So Im supposed to lie is that it?

No , try being less self righteous

bluntness is not a trait which goes down well in ireland , this isnt scotland or the netherlands , when in rome

Mammanabammana

"We're through"
"Why?"
"Well mainly because you're dreadful in the sack and don't agree to your hot friends joining us for threesomes. But you know, I'm prepared to give it another shot if you're prepared for us to work on these things together".

BorneTobyWilde

Lie.
SO no one gets hurts,
Make it look like your to blame,

DonQuay1

biko wrote: »

I once told a gf I thought she was shallow.
All hell broke loose.


We're not together any more.

You must have been in deep water ....

Roadtrippin

comeback_kid wrote: »

No , try being less self righteous

bluntness is not a trait which goes down well in ireland , this isnt scotland or the netherlands , when in rome

There's a fine line though, I find. What I mean is, yes, in Ireland we have to be a bit more diplomatic than elsewhere sometimes which is mostly good.

Sometimes I find it tiring when people can't tell you what they really think here, even when you ask them several times to divulge their real opinion.

To me that's just cowardice and not diplomacy! Nothing good ever comes from fence-sitting in most situations. If you want your partner to know what they do wrong than you need to tell them straight out (but in a gentle way I suppose).
When it comes to breakups, I feel the same should be the case. If someone tells you, oh it's not you it's me... and after you find out the real reason from someone else, that's BS. Just state your reason, end of story. Be a man and own it (unless you're a girl than just be honest)! :P

Roadtrippin

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Lie.
SO no one gets hurts,
Make it look like your to blame,

Seriously? What's wrong with telling the truth?

I would feel more hurt if after years of being with someone they didn't have the courage to at least tell me why they want to break up.

What a load of BS - lie and nobody gets hurt! Yes, because nobody ever got hurt lying...

Old Tom

Roadtrippin wrote: »

Seriously? What's wrong with telling the truth?

Agree. If someone's asking "why?" - I tell them.
Can't stand this two-faced bullshit. For girls who say "I still can't get over my previous boyfriend" - you lie and 99% of men know you lie. You really don't have any idea how stupid, low-level and pathetic it makes you look, do you?

couch_dweller

Roadtrippin wrote: »

There's a fine line though, I find. What I mean is, yes, in Ireland we have to be a bit more diplomatic than elsewhere sometimes which is mostly good.

Sometimes I find it tiring when people can't tell you what they really think here, even when you ask them several times to divulge their real opinion.

To me that's just cowardice and not diplomacy! Nothing good ever comes from fence-sitting in most situations. If you want your partner to know what they do wrong than you need to tell them straight out (but in a gentle way I suppose).
When it comes to breakups, I feel the same should be the case. If someone tells you, oh it's not you it's me... and after you find out the real reason from someone else, that's BS. Just state your reason, end of story. Be a man and own it (unless you're a girl than just be honest)! :P

we dont have to be diplomatic in ireland anymore than germans have to be frank , this is a free country , national charechters develop overtime for various reasons , the fact is , irish people are not a harsh tongued people and we are a sensitive people when it comes to discourse , personally i like the irish style of not viewing nail boot honesty as a virtue , the kind of charmless frankness you get with the likes of unionists in northern ireland gets tedious and overbearing very quick

Roadtrippin

couch_dweller wrote: »

we dont have to be diplomatic in ireland anymore than germans have to be frank , this is a free country , national charechters develop overtime for various reasons , the fact is , irish people are not a harsh tongued people and we are a sensitive people when it comes to discourse , personally i like the irish style of not viewing nail boot honesty as a virtue , the kind of charmless frankness you get with the likes of unionists in northern ireland gets tedious and overbearing very quick

I know what you mean. But isnt there a happy medium somewhere?

I find that people here go overboard with the ol' "Oh my god, if anyone knew what I actually think" attitude. Not everyone, of course.
But imagine now, if someone actually says what they think in a discussion and it's not the mainstream opinion... can you just picture the rolly eyes and looks exchanged between the more "diplomatic" folks? It's annoying at times!

I do agree that diplomacy is better than bluntness in most situations. But as I said, I think here sometimes people are too guarded, in case nosy Mary from next door will hear you say something scandalous and report it to the church elders...

couch_dweller

Roadtrippin wrote: »

I know what you mean. But isnt there a happy medium somewhere?

I find that people here go overboard with the ol' "Oh my god, if anyone knew what I actually think" attitude. Not everyone, of course.
But imagine now, if someone actually says what they think in a discussion and it's not the mainstream opinion... can you just picture the rolly eyes and looks exchanged between the more "diplomatic" folks? It's annoying at times!

I do agree that diplomacy is better than bluntness in most situations. But as I said, I think here sometimes people are too guarded, in case nosy Mary from next door will hear you say something scandalous and report it to the church elders...

are you refering to the phenomenon of group think or tone of delivery ?

im all for diversity of opinion , i just dont like people who beat others over the head with thier opinions

Roadtrippin

couch_dweller wrote: »

are you refering to the phenomenon of group think or tone of delivery ?

im all for diversity of opinion , i just dont like people who beat others over the head with thier opinions

Agreed.

I am referring to people rather staying quiet or saying 'interesting' to an opinion they do not share. I'd rather they would just tell me why they disagree. It makes for more interesting conversations.

efb

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

Just tell her breath smells like anus.

Don't kiss her after rimming then!