Toilet roll

JayzuzHowiye

Some people really use way too much toilet roll in my house...Fúcking sick of buying it.:mad:

My name is URL

Have you brought the issue up with them or was this your first port of call?

El Weirdo

My name is URL wrote: »

Have you brought the tissue up with them or was this your first port of call?

FYP

Well that's just charmin

The Internet Explorer

I guess you could almost say, some people really use way too much toilet roll in your house !

superstoner90

If you have an issue, heres a tissue.

Abi

Deleted User wrote: »

Well that's just charmin

Awful

The Internet Explorer

I suppose you could nearly say, you are sick of buying toilet roll !

Abi

Abi wrote: »

Awful

Ah just roll with it Abi :P

Pretty Polly

Are you in a house sharing situation?

Sergeant

Would you rather they went round stinking of shít, with a load of dangleberries hanging off their hole?

A couple of quid for some good quality 4-ply is a small price to pay for good hygiene.

stupidusername

Good to know.

my housemate somehow manages to use more than me. he's a girl like that.

GAAman

That's a shítty thing to have to deal with alright.

JayzuzHowiye

Pretty Polly wrote: »

Are you in a house sharing situation?

Yes , 2 people, everything split down the middle. But excessive amounts used is ridiculous. A roll doesn't last more than a day! I take a dump twice to three times daily and a roll could last up to a week!

Lawrence1895

Put some pepper onto the rolls, that will teach them a lesson

Where To

Why don't you install a bidet OP?

JayzuzHowiye

Where To wrote: »

Why don't you install a bidet OP?

Believe it or not, a friend of mine was house sharing last year and witnessed an alcoholic guy he lived with using the sink as a bidet. :pac:

newmug

I think a lot depends on the type of toilet roll you buy. Those big cuddly soft ones go really quick cos they're really thick, there's less of it on the roll. Also I hate the way little bits of fluff gather off them and accumilate where they shouldn't, giving you an itchy arse till the next time you're trousers are down, making you use more of it again. Its all a conspiracy.

Then you have the John Wayne toilet roll. Rough and tough and takes no ****. Avoid them types too.

You want a middle-of-the-road type. I find the one with the kitten on it the best. Now I'm not suggesting picking up some toilet roll from the middle of the road and using it, neither am I suggesting using a kitten, but that might be an option in an emergency. They're easier to entice over to you than any other pets, and they are very soft. Plus they're the perfect size. Get a quiet one though, you dont want a scrawb down there.

Redzer7

Kick them in the face OP.

DEFTLEFTHAND

What other names are out there for toilet roll? I've heard it being called bog roll, arse roll and Jacks paper in the past.

El Weirdo

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

What other names are out there for toilet roll? I've heard it being called bog roll, arse roll and Jacks paper in the past.

Bum wad.

Hole roll.

kfallon

I am always well stocked in the jax roll dept, I like to have a dump each evening around 7pm, you could set your watch by my arse

Had a particularly satisfying one about half an hour ago, as the fella says tis better to have an empty house than a bold lodger :pac:

Battered Mars Bar

I'm finding this very informative and interesting

jimmy blevins

Use a sponge on a stick.

Elmer Blooker

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

What other names are out there for toilet roll? I've heard it being called bog roll, arse roll and Jacks paper in the past.

....... The Sunday World?

Owen_S

You're probably living with a bunch of ****.

Organic Cavity

Hide it,

Lawrence1895

Elmer Blooker wrote: »

....... The Sunday World?

Fiscal Treaty leaflets?

superstoner90

OP, follow these exact instuctions.

First, find a hobo, that looks exactly like you. Make him put your clothes on. (if the hobo smells that even better.)

Once the house mate is in the shower, make the hobo to go to the bathroom.

Get the hobo to swop the toilet roll with a roll of sand paper.

Then once your house mate see the hobo. Get the hobo to say, "dont get on that train in 2015"

Then get the hobo to jump out the bathroom window.

SteoL

JayzuzHowiye wrote: »

I take a dump twice to three times daily and a roll could last up to a week!

:eek:

I'd be going Dr to get myself checked out if I was on the pot that often.

SmallBalls

Do you wipe your arse sitting on the jacks or standing up?
Personally I stand up, maybe I'm in the minority.

JayzuzHowiye

SmallBalls wrote: »

Do you wipe your arse sitting on the jacks or standing up?
Personally I stand up, maybe I'm in the minority.

Do you look at the paper after you wipe?

biko

I love having lots and lots of toilet rolls, no matter how much I use there's always another roll ready.

WoollyRedHat

JayzuzHowiye wrote: »

Some people really use way too much toilet roll in my house...Fúcking sick of buying it.:mad:

Call the police.

SmallBalls

JayzuzHowiye wrote: »

Do you look at the paper after you wipe?

Most definitely, the boyfriend loves a bit of anilingus.

dublin80

JayzuzHowiye wrote: »

Some people really use way too much toilet roll in my house...Fúcking sick of buying it.:mad:

On a serious note, if your housesharing, you's are better off buying your own toilet-roll and keeping it in your bedroom. So your only buying your own and they can buy there own. Problem solved.;)

senorwipesalot

Ever had a finger pop through?
Front to back or back to front?
Do you look at the fruit of your bum on the paper or throw it straight in to the jacks without inspection?
Sniff much?

So many questions so little time.

BOHtox

JayzuzHowiye wrote: »

Some people really use way too much toilet roll in my house...Fúcking sick of buying it.:mad:

No such thing, my friend!

JayzuzHowiye

senorwipesalot wrote: »

Ever had a finger pop through?
Front to back or back to front?
Do you look at the fruit of your bum on the paper or throw it straight in to the jacks without inspection?
Sniff much?

So many questions so little time.

senorwipesalot - you sir are the bain of my existence!

skyhighflyer

dublin80 wrote: »

On a serious note, if your housesharing, you's are better off buying your own toilet-roll and keeping it in your bedroom. So your only buying your own and they can buy there own. Problem solved.;)

Stingiest thing you've seen stingy people do thread

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dublin80

skyhighflyer wrote: »

Stingiest thing you've seen stingy people do thread

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isnt it better than complaining about people using your toilet roll. if you dont want them using it, hide it

Palytoxin

Just buy it in bulk, then hide half of it for yourself, and let the others buy it the next time, and anyway if you need it you can't really skimp on it:p

woodoo

Bad diets and hairy arses = loads of loo roll.

19543261

theres a little crevice there just at the top you need to get to and scoop the poo out

LH Pathe

Kitchen roll >>> toilet roll.

Sink > toilet

Peetrik

Lars1916 wrote: »

Put some pepper onto the rolls, that will teach them a lesson

Put a "NO OVEN-GLOVING" sign up if you live with women. Might save you a few bob

cock robin

JayzuzHowiye wrote: »

Some people really use way too much toilet roll in my house...Fúcking sick of buying it.:mad:

I'm with you all the way on this one. I think my kids us tp instead of towels and dry themselves after showering with it. In fact the more I buy the more gets used. Although some of the cheaper tp is in fact useless. You would want about 2 rolls to clean your pipe with it. In darmy many moons ago we used to unroll it smother it in pepper and roll it back up and sit back and enjoy the varying degrees of pain we caused. That was of course during down time when we were not fighting wars or delivering cash and prisoners:D

Pherekydes

Save on loo roll: use the "3 shells" system.

howamidifferent

Babywipes all the way....

Sergeant

Pherekydes wrote: »

Save on loo roll: use the "3 shells" system.

I'd only ever go down the 3 shells route if there was no curtain in the bathroom of the house I was visiting.

Duggy747

Tips for toilet paper when sharing house:

1) Buy toilet paper

2) Keep toilet paper rolls in bedroom when not using them.


Let people buy their own arsewipes