The C&H relationshippy lovey dovey thread of love

EdenHazard

I've never had it, and I was thinking what is it like? I can't imagine it, it seems like something unattainable for me, but I think it would be cool. Any you like me never been with anybody, or any of you the type who had a GF/BF, broke up and within 2 weeks you were going out with someone new?

I'm nearly not a teen anymore, and I feel as years go on, its gonna make things more and more awkward. Seriously I think will I ever find anybody :eek:

UL_heart_throb

I wouldn't put a lot of weight in teen relationships, at best their preparation for adult relationships. There are a lot of people out there who wouldn't have had a significant romantic relationship until their mid or late 20s.

I think as you get older, certainly around that 20-29 year old age bracket, you will meet a lot of different people and be more open to relationships.

I understand that this is a cause of worry for you but I don't think it's as big a deal as you think it is.

Davidius

It can be a lot of fun but if you do it too much it can leave you pretty cynical, you'll probably get caught up in how disingenuous everybody is. Sure there's that rush when you get it to the year but that's down to luck more than perceptiveness. It's not long until you start seeing the features in everybody, with their wrinkled skin and ever-huskier voices. You'll start to notice how much people hide themselves behind their clothes and general attire, afraid to show how the passage of time has withered them into something other than what they always imagined themselves to be.

It's a dangerous game and also completely unbalanced. Wouldn't recommend it.

Edit: The original thread title was 'What's it like to date someone'

Aisling(",)

I've dated a bit and I'm just a month out of a two and a bit year relationship.I miss it like you wouldn't believe.We broke up over me doing something when I was drunk and now we're hanging out as friends.It's pulling me apart to see him with someone new and I'm not able to let him go or stop seeing him as a friend.I feel like I'll never get over it.

Dating for me turned me into some else.I was always quite hard shelled and didn't let many people in but once I did it was amazing.It's horrible to think that I ruined it all.But on the bad side it also made me more suspicious and nervous at times.It has its good and bad points.

Don't worry about not having dated yet,its cool,loads of people our age haven't its not weird at all.You're better off just waiting till the right person comes along.I know a lot of people who jump into relationships way too easy because they're scared of being alone.It's the worst reason I can think of to do it.

I think there's everyone will find someone and if not you can join me in my future plans which involves me living along with cats:P

longhalloween

I'm definitely a relationship kinda guy. Since I was 17 I've always had a girlfriend. Then when I was 22 my girlfriend and I broke up after 2 years and I spent about 10 months being single.

I was great because it made me more appreciative of what I had. It made me realise that I don't like the Irish dating scene(clubbing, getting ridiculously drunk and getting off with the first person you see), I don't like one night stands, and having friends with benefits is a huge mistake.

So now that I have a new girlfriend I have the benefit of hindsight to recognise my past mistakes and be a better boyfriend to her in the future

Salty

I'm in a relationship that's coming up on the the five and a half year mark, we've been together since we were 14! We've never broken up, and we rarely argue. Though from the experiences of my friends and from what I'm told, we're a bit of a rarity.

I wouldn't change a thing about it. Loads of people say things like "omg ye're so weird" or "how are ye not sick of each other" or "don't you regret wasting your freedom for a bit of experience..." I resent comments like that most of the time, depending on the person/tone because they don't understand what it's like.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about not having dated before. It will happen for you, just don't rush it or force it. Wait for someone you really like to come along and you never know what'll happen! I wasn't looking for a relationship at all when I met my boyfriend, I was only 14 like! But we've come this far and I know it's because we're right. (cheesey as hell!!:P) It's worth hanging on and dating someone who you really like. Don't bow to pressure, most people jump straight from one relationship into another, they're not the best people to be taking advice from:P

Ave Sodalis

Bleugh relationships...

Only had one, ended badly, was made feel like shíte for ages afterwards, still kinda do, lost a lot of confidence and messed up any chance of me getting anyone else for a good while until I shake the doubts, insecurities and the withdrawness. Too much hassle for what they're worth it seems sometimes. Yet I like cuddles and cuddles make it seem worth it :P

Romiet

How did you start your first relationship? And how old were you? I'm eighteen and have never been in a relationship so I'm wondering how they usually start. Were you approached or did you do the asking? Were you friends first? Did a friend set you up?

Enlighten me!

Pigwidgeon

Threads merged.

Post here for all your relationship queries/wondering/tales/muses/etc.

Pigwidgeon

Davidius

Pigwidgeon wrote: »

Threads merged.

Post here for all your relationship queries/wondering/tales/muses/etc.

Pigwidgeon

I feel my first post has now been robbed of context.

Screaminmidget

Relationships are for people who aren't strong enough to get by by themselves.

Gary4279

I was with my girlfriend for 4 years. 15-19. It ended quite badly ten months ago. I literally thought the world would end. Now ten months on, I'm happy I had the whole experience.

The only advice I would give to someone looking for a relationship is don't bother. Nothing as off putting as someone that comes of as needy. Just go with the flow, enjoy your youth and it'll happen when you have your back turned.

EdenHazard

I've had my back turned since I was 13, I forget what its like for my back being any other way than turned haha

Colm!

Ahh, it'd take a topic like this to draw me in. I'm tired and should really be going to sleep, got an early morning ahead of me, but whatever.

I've tried this all before. And, me being me, have been cursed with a bit of bad luck at every level. I'm not totally unattractive, appearance-wise, and I've tried my best to be a good and genuinely interesting person in whatever I do. And I'm not really lacking confidence either. And yet I've gotten to know rejection fairly well. I pick myself up, wait a bit, try again somewhere else, fail again, repeat.
So I burned out that cycle. Figured it's not worth the odds and all that. Not now, not where I'm at. This town - and all around it - are dead ends, and hey, maybe I'll have my chances when I get to the city.

Randomly, things have started looking up though. Old friends, new opportunities. Recently enough there's been a mass of drama in my life as I try to sort these out... and realising things were almost better the way they were.

Example of one of this week's incidents:
I get an anonymous post (oh spillit.me, I loved you so) from a girl saying she really liked me. I figure out who it is (wasn't difficult, girl in question was practically admitting it on Twitter), ask her what's up with it. She says to completely ignore it and that she's not looking for nothing... and quickly returns to Twitter, to moan about how she's so completely disappointed.
dafuq.

I'd love a good relationship, but is it worth the hassle and the risks I'm going to have to take? So here I am, waiting again... I think?

Captain Graphite

Relationships are grand, just make sure they don't get too serious and that you dump them before they dump you. Life experience has taught me so far that love is horribly fucking overrated; the closer you get to someone, the more they have the potential to hurt you. What can feel like the most amazing time of your life can turn into a bitter memory that damages you forever when that someone you "love" shows their true colours.

Anyone who thinks love is all Hollywood movies and Hallmark cards is seriously deluded.

cynder

Jeez I'm in c and h again,


Anyhow I had my first boyfriend at 16 lasted 2 months, next boyfriend at 17 lasted 4 weeks while I was going out with him a guy at work was flirting with me, I wouldn't cheat so I ignored him. However when my self and the boyfriend broke up the guy from work asked me out, we have been together nearly 15 years.

My advice would be have fun, if you find someone that means a lot to you, stay true to them. Dont be shy, ask the person out if you like them the worst they can say is no. You will find someone sooner or later.


The places you are most likely to meet someone is at school, college, work and leisure activities or a friend of a friend. Only a hand full of people would find a girlfriend or boyfriend from a Chance encounter at a pub or disco.

longhalloween

Seems to be a few very cynical people out there!:o

grindelwald wrote: »

The places you are most likely to meet someone is at school, college, work and leisure activities or a friend of a friend. Only a hand full of people would find a girlfriend or boyfriend from a Chance encounter at a pub or disco.

Definitely agree with this. Never met anyone at a club or disco worth pursuing for a relationship. Friends of friends is a great thing, Even better if they're friends of my friends girlfriends.

Aisling(",)

Ya can never tell my long termer started by me chatting him up on a bus when I was drunk on the way to a Prodigy concert.

Never rule out chance encounters.:)

Captain Graphite

longhalloween wrote: »

Seems to be a few very cynical people out there!:o

Meh, when you've been fucked over enough times by making the mistake of trusting people, being cynical becomes a survival technique. It's always safer to be overly-cynical than being overly-gullible or naive.

As Nick Cave says, "People just ain't no good."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUiEAVjmnTU

Pigwidgeon

Everyone gets fúcked over their fair share of times. Makes it more worthwhile when you find someone who doesn't screw you over.

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 and a half years since I was 17, yeah we've had our ups and downs but when things are good it makes it all worth while - at the moment we're saving up to try and move out and in general are planning things now that we're both a bit older. I dont know what I'd do without him tbh, he's one of the few people who just gets me, he can make me laugh no matter what mood I'm in, takes my grumpiness in his stride and can always cheer me up. In certain ways we're complete opposites, he's very laid back and easy going while I'm quite highly strung so we even each other out but in other ways we're exactly the same - stone cold weirdos.

We'd be pretty similar to Meehan and her bf, we've never broken up and I can count fights we've had on one hand. Those sort of comments really annoy me too, they're just unnecessary and pointless and usually from people who don't know us together and we have just met. Our friends on the other hand have decided we'll end up getting married!

I hate the idea of one night stands and that sort of thing, I've really been glad not to be single lately after seeing how creepy guys can be in clubs. I'm glad I'm not in that scene.

Also captain graphite, I believe that's a double negative so technically means people are good :P

Captain Graphite

Pigwidgeon wrote: »

Everyone gets fúcked over their fair share of times. Makes it more worthwhile when you find someone who doesn't screw you over.

Hmmm...don't think it happens to everyone. Some people get lucky, and others are too busy being the ones doing the fucking over to ever get their hearts broken. Definitely most people experience it at least once though. But whether it only happens to you once during your life or a hundred times, it still hurts.

Also captain graphite, I believe that's a double negative so technically means people are good :P

:mad: You shall not question the Cave! Away with you and your logical linguistics.....

Salty

Haha Pigwidgeon, everyone who knows me and my bf well says we'll end up married too:P

I know one person who met his gf in a club. It was during RAG week last September in UCC, and we were out. My friend had been out the night before aswell, and he had met a girl and they had the shift etc and moved on. This night however, he bumped into the same girl again by chance, and they swapped numbers. They've been together over 6 months at this stage, and are a really good match:)

It is a chance encounter, and it doesn't happen often, but never say never as they say!:P

Screaminmidget

_meehan_ wrote: »

Haha Pigwidgeon, everyone who knows me and my bf well says we'll end up married too:P

I know one person who met his gf in a club. It was during RAG week last September in UCC, and we were out. My friend had been out the night before aswell, and he had met a girl and they had the shift etc and moved on. This night however, he bumped into the same girl again by chance, and they swapped numbers. They've been together over 6 months at this stage, and are a really good match:)

It is a chance encounter, and it doesn't happen often, but never say never as they say!:P

eh?? Thats not right...

Salty

Screaminmidget wrote: »

eh?? Thats not right...

When was RAG week? October?? It all seems the same in my memory...a long time ago!

Screaminmidget

_meehan_ wrote: »

When was RAG week? October?? It all seems the same in my memory...a long time ago!

February....

Salty

Screaminmidget wrote: »

February....

I meant to say Freshers! *facepalm*

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

I've never been in a long lasting relationship of any kind and I have little desire to be in one.


No doubt in years to come I'll be an old drunk at a bar talking about 'the one that got away'.

EdenHazard

EdenHazard wrote: »

I've never had it, and I was thinking what is it like? I can't imagine it, it seems like something unattainable for me, but I think it would be cool. Any you like me never been with anybody, or any of you the type who had a GF/BF, broke up and within 2 weeks you were going out with someone new?

I'm nearly not a teen anymore, and I feel as years go on, its gonna make things more and more awkward. Seriously I think will I ever find anybody :eek:

I can sympathise with your situation. I went out with a girl a few times when I was 16 and I had one date with a girl before she stopped talking to me this year (I'm 20).

It seems like it should be natural, interacting with women, but I feel like I just don't have the mental wiring for it. I enjoy whenever I somehow do manage to get it right but basically I'm a big walking box of awkward.

There must be people out there of the opposite sex who have the same troubles as we do, but the problem is, by our nature we're not very good at finding each other.

Jamie Starr

I'm a pretty self-contained person, not meaning selfish, but I gladly spend load of time just thinking to myself, drawing, playing music- whimisical things of that nature- so if a girl liked me they'd literally have to hit me on the head (or put me in a choke-hold on the way home from a night out, actually happened) before I'd notice.

As such, I hardly think I'd be well suited to a relationship at present, or at least the types of ones I see, where one person will ring their bee-eff/gee-eff three times a day. Frankly I find that disturbing. That's my description of clingy.

With all that said, I occasionally get little pangs of lonliness, [1800s prospector voice] a hankering for female companionship, yihserrr, and I've got my eye on someone at college, but it's summer holiday time, so I'm just going to continue reading Jane Austen in bed and keep up my unfeeling manly exterior.

ohthebaby

Tonight is my first night to stay on my own after 3 weeks with my lovely boy so I feel quite emotional and lovey-dovey, hence this post. I never really had a proper boyfriend before now. I was always quite shy and quiet when I was younger. I felt awkward around other people and school wasn't so good for me in a lot of ways. Now I have a boyfriend and we have been together for quite a few months now.

It's a bit of an odd match and our lives will be oh so difficult together because of that but we love each other and we can't change that. We're not perfect, we argue a bit. We both have hot tempers so things can go sour very quickly but we fix it all just as fast. I am the happiest person in the world when I am with him and we have so much fun together even when we're doing nothing. He protects me and I love the feeling of safety knowing that.

I never felt like this about anybody before and although we are both young, we have quite an adult relationship due to various problems we've had. It's hard for me sometimes sharing my life and my time so completely with someone because I've never done that before but I wouldn't change it for the world. He's not only my boyfriend anymore but is now one of my best friends too. Having someone like that is the best thing ever.

SChique00

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Meh, when you've been fucked over enough times by making the mistake of trusting people, being cynical becomes a survival technique. It's always safer to be overly-cynical than being overly-gullible or naive.

As Nick Cave says, "People just ain't no good."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUiEAVjmnTU

AGREED. When feeling forever alone, this song always helps me wallow in my own self-pity... along with Cash, Cohen, and The Cure (and yes, I'm aware that they all begin with C - strange coincidence xP)