The C&H relationshippy lovey dovey thread of love

Jackobyte

Acciaccatura wrote: »

If an opinion without Y-chromosomes is worth anything, it sounds like the first girl likes you, but wants to get to know you better. If she really wasn't interested, she wouldn't be inquiring about "what you were up to", and texing you constantly. So I don't know, she probably just wants to take things slow and see how they play out. I may probably have completely interpreted this whole thing wrong, but us girls can be very cryptic :P

That's the problem. Be as blunt as a sledgehammer and we may have some chance of working out your intentions. :pac:

Acciaccatura

Jackobyte wrote: »

That's the problem. Be as blunt as a sledgehammer and we may have some chance of working out your intentions. :pac:

It's true, we're terrible for it, and probably frustrate and confuse the hell out of lads sometimes. Personally I try, but on behalf of my gender I do apologize

CrashBandicoot Girl

Never been in a relationship, with the holidays I wish I was Not into the whole clubbing scene and I guess Im pretty self contained, constantly daydreaming or thinking of one thing or other so if something ever did happen probably wouldnt even notice :rolleyes:

Colm!

Colm checking in again. This winter I've been posting here a bit too often. But for once, things seem to be coming my way?

So... in December, somehow or other three girls have managed to be interested in me. Which isn't bad. The first two were just generally confusing with their mixed-message approaches.
And then there's the next one. An old friend of mine who I've not seen in months who just casually reappeared when a few of my friends and I get together in the city... and it becomes clear as the day progresses that we're both really into each other. And I dunno. Something about spending time in the city with her at this time of year when it's beautifully done out for Christmas just seemed to click with me. Like, I've been in a much better mood since. Like I found something I was looking for. IDK.
My friends were casually just leaving us to our own at every opportunity, or asking me "Colm, why the fuck aren't you two shifting?" when she was out of earshot. So it's pretty damn obvious to everyone. And the answer to the second was because I'd promised a few people I'd sort out things between myself and the other two. Yet lately I've (politely) told them to fuck off. And now I'm free to look at another opportunity. She's kinda far away, but I'd put effort in to make that work.

I've every possible chance of screwing up again, yet for once I feel it could be worth it.
But man... if I get to spend time with the right people, if I get to move to the city for college, if I can finally get to some of the things I love... I think I'm going to love this next year.

(there's hope for us all.)

Peanut Butter Jelly

Colm! wrote: »

(there's hope for us all.)

There's never hope for the Peanut Butter. NEVER!!!

Sayin' that, I'm going out tonight with the intention of chatting up a few girls. Hopefully it all goes well, but looking at what I said up there, that's not going to happen

I didn't get out. Why Always Me?

Colm!

Peanut Butter Jelly wrote: »

There's never hope for the Peanut Butter. NEVER!!!

A few months ago I'd have said the same about Colm. Now? I'm not so hopeless.
It's very, very strange how that can change very quickly. And I think a lot of that came down to leaving that whole nightclub thing behind me or the idea of going out in the hope of meeting someone, and just trying something different... and when I stopped looking, that's where things started. Very strange, but it's working for me.

EdenHazard

Log onto FB, first thing I see is the girl I've biggest crush on in a relationship....DEVO haha

jefreywithonef

EdenHazard wrote: »

Log onto FB, first thing I see is the girl I've biggest crush on in a relationship....DEVO haha

She's in a relationship with all of Devo? Sorry to hear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4-2onb62y8

Insect Overlord

:pac:

Viva La Gloria

CrashBandicoot Girl wrote: »

Not into the whole clubbing scene and I guess Im pretty self contained, constantly daydreaming or thinking of one thing or other so if something ever did happen probably wouldnt even notice :rolleyes:

Ha! Hello, twin :P

The closest thing I have to a relationship is a crush on this rather attractive guy who comes into work every day. He must live in the area because I see him all time time and he sometimes gets the same bus as me when I'm going into college....and that's it

Israel_Dagg

I never go out so never meet anyone. Happy enough on my own but still...where are all the nice girls?:pac:

iamanengine

Israel_Dagg wrote: »

I never go out so never meet anyone. Happy enough on my own but still...where are all the nice girls?:pac:

Thailand.

Israel_Dagg

iamanengine wrote: »

Thailand.

1% of Thailands population are ladyboys:pac:

toastedpickles

Personally I was never one for relationships and it was always the guys on the school gaa team or what have you getting the girls, looking back on it now it was hilarious, they'd be going out for maybe 3 weeks and break up and well it was a case of "lik dis if yuu cry evertim" coulda made a show out of it

few years came and went and out of nowhere I got the most amazing girlfriend ever, so moral of the story is, good things come to those who wait and and least expect anything to happen

Israel_Dagg

toastedpickles wrote: »

Personally I was never one for relationships and it was always the guys on the school gaa team or what have you getting the girls, looking back on it now it was hilarious, they'd be going out for maybe 3 weeks and break up and well it was a case of "lik dis if yuu cry evertim" coulda made a show out of it

few years came and went and out of nowhere I got the most amazing girlfriend ever, so moral of the story is, good things come to those who wait and and least expect anything to happen

Congrats!

Cherry Blossom Girl

Reminded me of this thread for some reason and thought y'all might like a larf. And also am.. you know.. what is love, really...

SChique00

I asked Santa for a boyfriend last year and ended up getting a cat (he followed me home one day and we've had him ever since). I think the universe is trying to tell me something...

Lawliet

SChique00 wrote: »

I asked Santa for a boyfriend last year and ended up getting a cat (he followed me home one day and we've had him ever since). I think the universe is trying to tell me something...

Yes, and it's saying
cats > boys

Jamie Starr

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zC8C5cWsOo

The thread title reminds me of this song.

jefreywithonef

SChique00 wrote: »

I asked Santa for a boyfriend last year and ended up getting a cat (he followed me home one day and we've had him ever since). I think the universe is trying to tell me something...

Lawliet wrote: »

Yes, and it's saying
cats > boys

It's saying Santa is an incompetent idiot surely?

JohnDoe333

*Warning: Depressing post ahead*

Basically, never had a girlfriend, why you ask, considering I'm tall, decent looking, athletic and not really a cunt? It's not because I don't want one!

Well, it's because I've never kissed nor shifted a girl despite the fact that I'm 16 (yeah, go ahead, laugh). The soul reason being because I'm too nervous/afraid I'll **** it up/wont do it right and then everyone will laugh.. it's pretty sad tbh. I go out to discos (well not anymore) and other places where this stuff happens, and I want to partake, but because of the reasons above, I never do.

This is more of a rant btw, don't know what I'm hoping this post will solve.

Maybe one day.

Lawliet

JohnDoe333 wrote: »

not really a cunt?

As a kind of an aside, guys suggesting they should have a girlfriend because they're a nice person is like a restaurant advertising that they won't wont give you food poisoning.
I'm not saying you're doing this btw, but people have a tendency to whine that they meet the absolute minimum standards of being a decent person, but no one is tripping over themselves to date them. People don't want nice when they could have funny, interesting, great taste in music, as well as nice.

Jamie Starr

JohnDoe333 wrote: »

*Warning: Depressing post ahead*

Basically, never had a girlfriend, why you ask, considering I'm tall, decent looking, athletic and not really a cunt? It's not because I don't want one!

Well, it's because I've never kissed nor shifted a girl despite the fact that I'm 16 (yeah, go ahead, laugh). The soul reason being because I'm too nervous/afraid I'll **** it up/wont do it right and then everyone will laugh.. it's pretty sad tbh. I go out to discos (well not anymore) and other places where this stuff happens, and I want to partake, but because of the reasons above, I never do.

This is more of a rant btw, don't know what I'm hoping this post will solve.

Maybe one day.

First off, there's way more people in your situation that you realise- trust me, I know people one or two guys older than you with the same anxiety. You're only 16, only 16. And at 16 absolutely everyone is cringe-worthy- in fact the guys who go shiftin' every weekend are probably the primordial ooze of teenage life. I know very few people (myself included) whose 'confidence' at that age- and beyond- is anything other than embarrassing in retrospect.

What I'm getting at is: no-one is comfortable in their own skin when they think they're the only ones who've ever had to go through these parts of growing up . The worst thing you can do is keep on thinking that, because it makes you even more nervous and more afraid. You and les shifters extrodinaires are both on opposite ends of the same spectrum: teenage awkwardness. There's no need to let it make you anxious, everyone's going through it.

In other words: you're fine. There's no statute of limitations on kissing, and at your age it's usually got more in common with a tracheotomy than it does with coolness.

jefreywithonef

Most people beyond the age of 20 who do the whole "I'm a nice guy.. woe is me" thing usually have massive character flaws.

iamanengine

As a 16 year old I was terrified at the prospect of 'shifting' girls, as much as I wanted to! I managed to get lucky I suppose you would say when I was 15 purely cos I was pushed into it, not that I minded at all! But, I would have been in the exact same situation as yourself before and after my 1st time. As bad as it is, for a long time, alcohol was my solution. Using alcohol to lift my inhibitions worked for me as stupid as I was but it's only now that I'm in college that I don't turn to alcohol to avoid feeling embarrassed etc. Basically, everyone goes through it, and everybody comes out the other side of it at some stage looking back at how stupid and worried we all were!

No offence meant when I say stupid, that was just my own situation.

JohnDoe333

iamanengine wrote: »

As a 16 year old I was terrified at the prospect of 'shifting' girls, as much as I wanted to! I managed to get lucky I suppose you would say when I was 15 purely cos I was pushed into it, not that I minded at all! But, I would have been in the exact same situation as yourself before and after my 1st time. As bad as it is, for a long time, alcohol was my solution. Using alcohol to lift my inhibitions worked for me as stupid as I was but it's only now that I'm in college that I don't turn to alcohol to avoid feeling embarrassed etc. Basically, everyone goes through it, and everybody comes out the other side of it at some stage looking back at how stupid and worried we all were!

No offence meant when I say stupid, that was just my own situation.

I tried some alcohol last time, didn't work but certainly made me have more fun.. ill try a bit more I suppose:L

iamanengine

JohnDoe333 wrote: »

I tried some alcohol last time, didn't work but certainly made me have more fun.. ill try a bit more I suppose:L

Dude, totally not condoning the use of alcohol with under-age! :P
That was just me when I was younger, well, I am only 18 now but yano yourself.

JohnDoe333

iamanengine wrote: »

Dude, totally not condoning the use of alcohol with under-age! :P
That was just me when I was younger, well, I am only 18 now but yano yourself.

as if it doesn't happen anyway!

Insect Overlord

JohnDoe333 wrote: »

I tried some alcohol last time, didn't work but certainly made me have more fun.. ill try a bit more I suppose:L

JohnDoe333 wrote: »

as if it doesn't happen anyway!

Depending on drink to have fun is fucking pathetic at any age, but at 16 would be beyond the pale. Cop on to yourself.

Colm!

Not directed at anyone in this thread in particular, but just an observation that kind of fits in with what jefrey and Lawliet are saying:
I too am beyond pissed off at people who genuinely believe they deserve better treatment for simply "being a nice guy" and throw around the word "friendzone" to make it seem like rejection is the girl's fault and not a result of their own personality flaws; I've seen people say stuff like that too often, and the sheer self-righteousness of it is shocking. If all you want to do is get with a girl without consideration for her own feelings whatsoever that is the exact opposite of "nice guy".

And now for me.

When I posted here on Christmas Day about my old friend and all, I had a lot of hope that I could work that out. But she just wasn't looking for the same things as me. And between that day we met up over the Christmas break and the far future, I'm not going to see her again. But there is a new situation I'm in and even though it's even more difficult, it's with someone I've found myself caring for even more.
Right now getting over mutual awkwardness and the whole idea of holding ourselves back is the most significant problem I'm going through. Oh, and distance. Lots of distance. Which then makes getting over the first slightly more difficult.
See, I started something over the internet - something I said I'd NEVER do, but I found myself falling pretty much right into it (which led to me dealing with a ****ed-up sleep pattern caused by 5am Skype calls) and said I'd give it a chance. And both me and the girl are ridiculously awkward and inexperienced with... well, everything. We're really good for each other personality-wise, and we've grown really close insanely quickly as a result. But when we made it to Dublin, we just found ourselves starting from what was essentially zero again. Physical closeness was just something we couldn't quite rush into and getting to the basics took hours. Was almost at the point where I'd go home saying "what I didn't get the shift, this may very well have been a failure". The thing is though, that's not what matters. The girl told me since then that the day was "kind of perfect", and the day sure as hell meant a lot to me. Meanwhile, I'm back up to Dublin soon (Paddy's Day... pints? might end up accidentally taking the alcohol advice. swear it's not my intention though) and maybe again soon again after. We're telling ourselves we're only close friends, and from time to time we'll be more than that, and I get myself into the strangest of situations, but I guess there's hope for us all.