The C&H relationshippy lovey dovey thread of love

anirishlad

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Depending on drink to have fun is f[SIZE="2"]uc[/SIZE]king pathetic at any age, but at 16 would be beyond the pale. Cop on to yourself.

I hate to say it but not drinking yourself silly and being responsible enough with what your drinking can make nights out alot more memorable. The problem is people overdrinking.

I was at a house party last Friday and from drinking I got into a great conversation with a girl who im now talking to on Facebook, early days yet.

But dont drink if you do stupid things on drink and its not going to suddenly guarantee anything but it can help.

iamanengine

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Depending on drink to have fun is fucking pathetic at any age, but at 16 would be beyond the pale. Cop on to yourself.

Well that's certainly a deep blow to my own self-esteem :pac:

I certainly turned to drink, not necessarily to have fun but to get some self confidence which in turn led to some hilariously epic nights out! It's not like I'm saying you need to do this to have fun, but I needed that when I was young to come out of my shell, which I desperately needed. Now that I've been through all that self confidence stuff I'm out the other side and I don't need the drink for that anymore, that's not to say I don't from time to time!

To say it's '****ing pathetic' is a bit harsh in my opinion having been there myself.

But here, you may well be right, I only 18 what the hell do I know :rolleyes:

Insect Overlord

iamanengine wrote: »

To say it's '****ing pathetic' is a bit harsh in my opinion having been there myself.

But here, you may well be right, I only 18 what the hell do I know :rolleyes:

Do you not understand the meaning of the word "depend"?

iamanengine

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Do you not understand the meaning of the word "depend"?

Ah. Fair enough, to purely be dependent on it would be quite bad.

cheesefiend

Colm! wrote: »

When I posted here on Christmas Day about my old friend and all, I had a lot of hope that I could work that out. But she just wasn't looking for the same things as me. And between that day we met up over the Christmas break and the far future, I'm not going to see her again. But there is a new situation I'm in and even though it's even more difficult, it's with someone I've found myself caring for even more.
Right now getting over mutual awkwardness and the whole idea of holding ourselves back is the most significant problem I'm going through. Oh, and distance. Lots of distance. Which then makes getting over the first slightly more difficult.
See, I started something over the internet - something I said I'd NEVER do, but I found myself falling pretty much right into it (which led to me dealing with a ****ed-up sleep pattern caused by 5am Skype calls) and said I'd give it a chance. And both me and the girl are ridiculously awkward and inexperienced with... well, everything. We're really good for each other personality-wise, and we've grown really close insanely quickly as a result. But when we made it to Dublin, we just found ourselves starting from what was essentially zero again. Physical closeness was just something we couldn't quite rush into and getting to the basics took hours. Was almost at the point where I'd go home saying "what I didn't get the shift, this may very well have been a failure". The thing is though, that's not what matters. The girl told me since then that the day was "kind of perfect", and the day sure as hell meant a lot to me. Meanwhile, I'm back up to Dublin soon (Paddy's Day... pints? might end up accidentally taking the alcohol advice. swear it's not my intention though) and maybe again soon again after. We're telling ourselves we're only close friends, and from time to time we'll be more than that, and I get myself into the strangest of situations, but I guess there's hope for us all.

Jaysus, Colm, you've had a bit of a roller coaster love life for the past while. This sounds super cute though; it put a smile on my face. Best of luck with it.

Acciaccatura

Aw, I missed this thread. I hope it gets more active as the summer goes on

SarahBeep!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCvGxvuwp8M

wnolan1992

Pfft. Love is for people who don't like themselves, so they have to find another person so they don't have to be alone with themselves.

I love being alone.

<_<
>_>

All alone.

Alone.

A lone wolf if you will.

So alone...

Forever...

WHAT'S A LONE WOLF GOTTA DO TO GET A HUG AROUND HERE!?

Colm!

I'd make a serious post here, but I'd probably get carried away again. I'm looking forward to this summer anyway :P

MauraTheThird

I'm feeling very happy currently Just back from a three day trip in Kilkee with the boyfriend. So many movies, fancy dinner for our two months and a surf lesson from the main man himself! Life is good.

Jhcx

So i would like to add my my timeline into this thread and a few words from Jason Silva.
So ive Recently had a breakup as many of you probably are well aware. Not my first breakup but definitely the hardest break up in my life. So ive had 5 relationships and 1 crush/rejection since the start of my teen years. And with each one i have learned from them. So greatful. They are now all my friends and im thankful for having them come into my life because its helped me to grow to be who i am. my first relationship began when i was in second year. Something very different but i probably wasnt ready for it she was in 3rd year. I was never very much committed to it. Couldnt kiss and just wasnt falling for the person i was dating although she hate strong feelings for me. and thats when i first broke up with someone. I didnt get a lot out of it but to learn how to respect a girl and listen to her. My second relationship began when i was in 5/4th year. This relationship went a bit better except there was a bit of distance and at 16 its hard when you dont have a car or anyone to bring you. i actually liked this girl we got on and i tried my best and kissing came around a bit more. but still shy. and going away to France to come back and get dumped. i hurt but i recovered quickly because i wasnt overly in the relationship. my 3rd relationship was short lived. it began during the leaving Cert lasted 3 weeks. personally i think i was just looking for someone totally different to the privious 2 people in terms of personality and appearance and we never connected. again i didnt make the effort to get down to her. and just ended rough. that we stopped speaking for a good year or more. said hi since then lol. 4th relationship was an online one. bit hard when they are 4000miles away in america. but we lasted near 7 months tried many a time to get over. but we both realised its not for us and funnily weve never declared weve broken up was kind of like ya im not interested anymore summed up in one text message. But was at that point i realised i actually wanted to care for another person because we clicked.

and my most recent one. we'll This has been the best relationship and the hardest breakup. I think this one went so well until the end because it was like it was ment to be. We talked for about a few weeks before changing numbers, then i get a call. no body has ever called me out of the blue. Then it was a spur of the moment sort of thing lets meet and actually get to know each other so we did and as if someone had been watching us let little things fall into place like a song coming on the radio that would make ya laugh and it started so well. and i think its that key point will be your greatest success. first date. and then went on from there. i think what makes it the hardest thing about the breakup is its so confusing because i still cant understand what happened. hours before were looking at places to rent and then boom the world has exploded. but i look back on the whole lot and look at the photos or me smiling actually being happy i learned a lot from this relationship. Ive learned that you can actually fall in love and ive felt what its like something i thought i would never feel. I think having an intimate relationship as well makes you very very close. your sharing each others bodies with one another. chemical hormones are released. kissing alone has a crazy effect. but its like no matter what they did i could over look it because im willing to make it work. and i learned its a struggle. A struggle to find balance not to nag them too much. not to judge them, let them live their life without going crazy. I was probably too truthful but thats who i am. but the problem with this is you loose sight and i lost sight i was so happy about this person that i said things to make them stop loving me. i scared them away. And this breakup has been crazy ive been jumping all over the place. and im learning a lot a lot about myself about whats happening. ive gone through more emotions than i can count. Because i dont know what to feel. ive never been in this situation this is an all new experience for me and each one of us handles a breakup differently we all have our coping mechanisms.

So with all that i can say dont be frightened to get into one because it will be your lesson in life. you need it to be the person you want to be it will make you, it will break you but you will look back on the good times the bad times and you will go thanks.
"Life should be lived to the point of tears" "Fall in love or Die trying". Because it will be the best journey of your life.

Love is The Greatest Pain and thats the truth it plays with you and it hurts you but will always be there.
I've posted this video before but i think there are some great words in it and i do want to emphasis that love is the greatest pain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYwrkzNtlgI

iamanengine

What do you do when you really like a person and it makes you not like anyone else because you like then so much and you know they feel the same way about you or at least they did a while ago, but you know it would never work cos neither of you can handle a relationship but you don't care cos you want to try anyways even though you know you will end up crushed in the end but maybe it's worth being crushed for even a week of being with them...yeah...lol

Jhcx

I'd go for it man. Or maybe make it casual. If you. Both feel for it why not. Love is the greatest pain and whether or not you go for the one week. For all you know could be the best thing to start in your life. And there's nothing to say in 10 years ye might get back together if your still single or whatever may be the case.

HugsiePie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALTXCVyclNI

Jhcx

Serious question. If you had a gf in a long term relationship but broke up after a year. and lets say you were popular enough amongst the peoples of the female & male population. Would you after a week or 2 maybe 3. commit yourself back to another long term relationship?

MauraTheThird

some people probably could bounce back that quickly but I do think you would probably need to give yourself time to sort your head out first before letting someone else into it

iamanengine

Jhcx wrote: »

Serious question. If you had a gf in a long term relationship but broke up after a year. and lets say you were popular enough amongst the peoples of the female & male population. Would you after a week or 2 maybe 3. commit yourself back to another long term relationship?

Nooooooo, absolutely not, bad idea! After me and my gf of 3 years broke up I was back in a relationship after like 3/4 months and I was in no way ready for another relationship and it was just...not a good idea :P

I'm pretty sure I'm still not ready and that was over a year now, damn, time flies :O

Jhcx

Cool. Ya, dont think could do it myself. but me being me constantly flirting prolly end up in one sooner than id be prepared. but anyway still single not going anywhere anytime soon ha ha

GoldFour4

Jhcx wrote: »

Serious question. If you had a gf in a long term relationship but broke up after a year. and lets say you were popular enough amongst the peoples of the female & male population. Would you after a week or 2 maybe 3. commit yourself back to another long term relationship?

Nah get out there and explore the market a little bit. After something long term you really need a couple of months to clear your head IMO anyway. Everyone is different though!

Jhcx

malistheman wrote: »

Nah get out there and explore the market a little bit. After something long term you really need a couple of months to clear your head IMO anyway. Everyone is different though!

Ya that's da best. But never been in a year relationship so... Lol

MauraTheThird

My ex boyfriend has made me completely change my life's perspective on romance and love and for that I'm so so unhappy

Cherry Blossom Girl

MauraTheThird wrote: »

My ex boyfriend has made me completely change my life's perspective on romance and love and for that I'm so so unhappy

Alright you youngin's, listen up!

I get where you're coming from but at the end of the day, your perspective is exactly that - your perspective. Sure, people and events can influence how you feel about and perceive certain things but no one else can make you feel anything.

One thing I've really learned over the past while is the only thing you are ultimately responsible for is yourself - you can't control other people's actions but you absolutely can control how you respond to them and how you choose to let them affect you.

Don't allow whatever your ex did or didn't do to colour your perceptions on such a an integral part of life. Do you really want him to continue having such a hold over you even though you're no longer in a relationship with him? I know this probably sounds a bit like 1800-Dial-A-Therapist but it's all about having presence of mind and taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings.

If you don't like the way you currently feel about something then it's up to you to change that. No one else can do it for you. That may sound a bit negative but it's actually quite liberating if you think about it! To trot out that clichéd phrase: no one can make you feel anything without your permission. You control your thoughts and feelings, no one else.

Obviously it's easier said than done, but with a little practice it gets easier and more intuitive all the time. (In case it sounds like I'm telling you to bury your feelings, I don't mean that at all. It's about acknowledging and accepting how you feel but not allowing bad feelings to take you over in a negative manner. E.g. once upon a time, I met up with a friend of mine that I don't see often and it didn't go as well as I had anticipated. Nothing to do with me, they were just going through a rough time and understandably weren't as chipper as normal. Instead of just accepting that and being a bit disappointed, I viewed this less than perfect encounter as some kind of personal failure on my part and allowed it to bother me for 3 days afterwards. See what I mean?)

Also, he's your ex, fcuk him. Don't let the past control your present. Believe me, it gets you nothing but a one-way ticket to misery-town.

suitcasepink

Yea but how do you be in a relationship?? Like not how do you start one or get into one. But how does one be a girlfriend? What does one do/is expected of one when theyre in one? In what way is it different to how things are before except for sounding really scary?

Jhcx

I expect my OH to be there for me. enjoy my company. make decisions with me. be truthful about us our future and where we stand. be prepared to argue and fight for eachother. take it with a grain of salt. dont be clingy, you have to remember they lived a life before you walked in. give them space and time to breathe when needed. always be up for bit of fun and action if possible. being intimate brings out a lot in people and can determine whether you're actually going to fall in love with this person for everything they are. celebrate the little things. i know myself and the ex went and stayed in a hotel in a different city every month to be happy together we made it another month. plus was bit of fun doing something different.

Be yourself in a relationship. dont try to pretend anything because its a false love that will form and the hurt will be so much worse than it needs to be. no one is asking for much in a relationship. only that you are you. youve fallen for this person and want to make some part of a life with them. relationship should not be scary and nothing should change except should know that there is another person relying on you to be there for them vice versa. and instead of looking after yourself you are looking after two of you. because in a relationship you work as a team through the thick and the thin you will be there for eachother no matter how hard it gets. it can only make you stronger and if you dont feel that. hand in the white flag. admit its no longer working, know your wrongs but always cherish the moments you had. because you did at one stage fall for this person it wasnt a fantasy or game. but only you truely got to know them and its not for you.

:pac::D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HglpEBtxRh0

Peanut Butter Jelly

Question: Why do the girls that are easy to talk to always end up having boyfriends?

suitcasepink

deise_girl wrote: »

Yea but how do you be in a relationship?? Like not how do you start one or get into one. But how does one be a girlfriend? What does one do/is expected of one when theyre in one? In what way is it different to how things are before except for sounding really scary?

Ahh god love me

Insect Overlord

Practice makes perfect. No two relationships are the same. There's no magic formula. It's all about finding what works for you and your other half. Etc, etc.

Finding out what works is good fun, in fairness!

HugsiePie

wnolan1992

HugsiePie wrote: »

Valentine's Day is, like, sooo overrated. Just watch all the sheeple buying their cards and chocolates, feeding the corporations' greed. Just shows how insecure they are in their relationships that they need to go all out one day a year instead of showing each other every day.




On the other hand, Christ I'm lonely.

thelad95

All alone this Valentines