There's a rat in kichen what am i gonna do

carfiosaoorl

Like I said there's a rat in my kitchen wtf am I gonna do? It just knocked something off the counter. I set traps but its not going near them. It just comes and goes as it pleases. My kitchen is practically a no go zone with a week.

Mr.Biscuits

Fix that rat, that's what you gonna do.

MickySticks

Ask it to make me a sandwich

El Guapo!

Run in with a can of Lynx and a lighter and torch the fúcker.

LH Pathe

you're gonna stuff that rat that's what yer gonna do. with your coooock...

DEFTLEFTHAND

Any good mousing cat worth his salt would do the job for you, have you any way of acquiring/borrowing one?

Fenian Army

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Any good mousing cat worth his salt would do the job for you, have you any way of acquiring/borrowing one?

Jack Russel more like!

Washington Irving

As above, get a cat

carfiosaoorl

Dean09 wrote: »

Run in with a can of Lynx and a lighter and torch the fúcker.

That sounds like a plan but I don't want to lose the kitchen call me sentimental.

IM0

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

Like I said there's a rat in my kitchen wtf am I gonna do? It just knocked something off the counter. I set traps but its not going near them. It just comes and goes as it pleases. My kitchen is practically a no go zone with a week.

watch rambo first blood

but not predator, arnie is useless at traps :eek:

golden lane

divorce...immediately....

Archeron

Thread title would make a great first line in a nursery rhyme.

BBDBB

borrow a terrier or a bad ass cat

lame ass version is to call in the exterminators

Bipolar Joe

I had one not too long ago. I found his wee door and filled it up with expanding foam. I didn't want him to die (His name is Ralph). That was ages ago, now, haven't heard from him since. Hope he's doing alright.

mikemac1

Get a snake

carfiosaoorl

I don't know how to multiquote so I don't have a cock. I have a cat but he is useless and I have a jack russell but she is only 4 mths old.

Pushtrak

You could ask what you should do. Don't think anybody here can tell what you are going to do.

staker

Winch up the floor to meet the ceiling and squash the fucker to death.
Don't go too far or you'll blow shite out the ensuite toilet.

TheBegotten

I would recommend a sauté with tomato, basil and olive oil, serve with bread and rocket salad.

paddyandy

Try a dish of beer and he'll be easier to catch .I the meantime leave him alone to get on with it .

BBDBB

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I had one not too long ago. I found his wee door and filled it up with expanding foam. I didn't want him to die (His name is Ralph). That was ages ago, now, haven't heard from him since. Hope he's doing alright.

he thought he was at a foam party in Ibiza

Archeron

mikemac1 wrote: »

Get a snake

And befriend a shoemaker.

Shryke

A Terrier tbh. This is also a chance for you to practice your knife throwing.

TheBegotten

carfiosaoorl wrote: »

I don't know how to multiquote so I don't have a cock. I have a cat but have a he is useless and I have a jack russell but she is only 4 mths old.

I wouldn't say they were exclusive xD

gilman9955

We got a pack of them running the country 

Bipolar Joe

I will fucking cut the next schmuck I see posting a jab at politicians or the Church in a thread that has got nothing to do with either. I'm not a fan of of religion or the vast majority of politicians, but this is seriously getting pathetic, and none of them are ever funny in the slightest.

argosy2006

They don't work alone,
Did you see rat?
You sure its not a ghost,? Mouse traps can't catch ghosts, you will need a ghost trap for that,

carfiosaoorl

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I had one not too long ago. I found his wee door and filled it up with expanding foam. I didn't want him to die (His name is Ralph). That was ages ago, now, haven't heard from him since. Hope he's doing alright.

Lol thought by wee door you meant piss hole, was thinking how the **** will I do that

Cpt. Kelloggs

Place house for sale and seek alternate accommodation

LH Pathe

You do know it's only one of ten?

Smidge

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I had one not too long ago. I found his wee door and filled it up with expanding foam. I didn't want him to die (His name is Ralph). That was ages ago, now, haven't heard from him since. Hope he's doing alright.

I was just about to post "ask bipolar Joe" but here you are

whistlingtitan

Put either chocolate or a piece of cooked rasher in the trap(rat one) gone in minutes also find where he came from ie a whole in the ground or ditch and put broken glass in it

Shryke

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I will fucking cut the next schmuck I see posting a jab at politicians or the Church in a thread that has got nothing to do with either. I'm not a fan of of religion or the vast majority of politicians, but this is seriously getting pathetic, and none of them are ever funny in the slightest.

Just read your psychopath thread. Easy there Joe. People still say yore ma ffs. They've got it coming more. Make a list?

gilman9955

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I will fucking cut the next schmuck I see posting a jab at politicians or the Church in a thread that has got nothing to do with either. I'm not a fan of of religion or the vast majority of politicians, but this is seriously getting pathetic, and none of them are ever funny in the slightest.

Get a life will ya

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

You need to get a ferret. Don't forget to record and upload to YouTube.

LH Pathe

Them bastards can chew through concrete

Bipolar Joe

gilman9955 wrote: »

Get a life will ya

Can I pick one up in the same place you have to go and buy some funny?

carfiosaoorl

LH Pathe wrote: »

You do know it's only one of ten?

Yes thank you I realise that this one probably has a big family and is right now telling them about the cushie number he found in my kitchen.

Jammy Donut

when you see him, just go 'Your Ma'


Or blast him with aids.

superstoner90

Do this OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8b9PEuUP7A

Jammy Donut

Here's a strange idea,
Get a Jack Russle.... Film their antics and make a cartoon. Call it John&Terry

superstoner90

Jammy Donut wrote: »

when you see him, just go 'Your Ma'


Or blast him with aids.

[QUOTE=Jammy Donut;78493423]Here's a strange idea,
Get a Jack Russle.... Film their antics and make a cartoon. Call it John&Terry [/QUOTE]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37OWL7AzvHo

Chuck Stone

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I'm not a fan of the vast majority of politicians

So you're saying there are politicians you like?

Get him lads...

downwithpeace

Jokingly, many options.
Seriously, a Terrier is a good idea or if all your traps failed then pay someone who knows how to deal with rats.

carfiosaoorl

Lets not turn this into a politician thread lets concentrate on the rat

BBDBB

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I will fucking cut the next schmuck I see posting a jab at politicians or the Church in a thread that has got nothing to do with either. I'm not a fan of of religion or the vast majority of politicians, but this is seriously getting pathetic, and none of them are ever funny in the slightest.

the irony is that just like a terrier, the anti polticians/church 'ists' will continue to growl and shake at the vermin until long after its necessary

Fizman

Anyone else read out the thread title aloud to themselves in a Jamaican/Rastafarian accent?

dan1895

Some good suggestions in this thread should give you some food for thought.

Smidge

Fizman wrote: »

Anyone else read out the thread title aloud to themselves in a Jamaican/Rastafarian accent?

I've been singing the feckin song since:(

It wasn't me!

Get shovel. Mash rat with shovel. Wash floor. Problem solved.

WoollyRedHat

Leave the house, have you family you can stay with?