Who else has crap parents?

DEFTLEFTHAND

My dad has always been great, he's always supported me in anything I was doing and never judged me if I fcuked up.

My Mam was really hard on us when we were small, I in particular was beaten quite badly even been knocked unconscious on one occasion. She mellowed out as the years went on and really was a great mother in other ways doing a lot for us all. I don't blame her for the violence, she was only 21 when I was born and suffered an awful double tragedy in the same year with both her sister and father dying weeks apart, I don't think she ever really recovered from that. She's apologised profusely to me and I know she really regrets what happened in those early years.

OneArt

All this talk of therapists reminds me of America.

westies4ever

my dad is lovely but was never really around - always working, at gaa matches, legion of mary or whatever other committee needed him. He's a nice mild mannered man though. I got some help financially when I was at college and overall I cant complain but its never been a close relationship - i could go months wothout speaking to him.

my mum was always sore on me - i always felt like a burden - i remember being told at five years of age that she wished she'd never had me - my crime was to dirty the knee of a new pair of trousers. i wasnt beaten, i was fed and generally looked after but i remember being on my own a lot - i was the youngest of six and there was a gap between us.

i've never really had a birthday party, my communion and confirmation were like any other day. my graduation was no biggie either. I was buillied at school and my parents didnt help. i was always afraid of the dark and my mum would never let me into their bedroom at night for comfort - i remember spending whole nights paralysed with fear!

I have no sense of ever really mattering or being loved by them. I get on great with all my siblings except my one sister - although we both agree that my mum much favoured the boys.

I get on ok with mum and dad now - i visit regularly and phone weekly but i look after myself - i have and always will suffer with low self esteem and am envious of friends etc who have had loving childhoods and close relationships with parents.

phew - this thread hurts!!!!!

charlemont

My mother just done everything she could to break my spirit, She wanted me to be a catholic Fianna Fáil style nerd. When I started to show interest in girls I was treated like a pervert !! Pure old school type women she is but she was brought up like that, Her humour was always sour, Just because I had a high IQ and was considered highly intelligent by my teachers she presumed I was lazy because I had bad concentration (who wouldn't when they are depressed as a child) so my homework always consisted of her standing over me with a wooden spoon. She would even sit there staring at you eat, She didn't even realise how rotten she is, She claims to hate violence yet loved beating on me, Hypocrite, Once I turned 17 I just hit her back. She thinks everybody else is rotten and of course she still loves the church, Ha it must have broke her heart when I went off the rails and ended up in court and prison. Just as well she never drank alcohol or she would be ten times worse.

My father is sound though, He just stayed out of it as much as he could, He must have hated her too..The most mismatched couple you could ever have.

Abi

I can't complain. My mother can be a bit nasty to me for no good reason, but I know better than let her get to me. Shes quite prudish and also imaptient. I adore my Dad, I can't fault him in any way, great sense of humour. They aren't really a good match IMO. She's really straight laced, he enjoys a few and a bit of craic. She won't have more than one or two and she's off to bed leaving himself on his own. She doesn't really have a discussion with him without it turning into a nag, so I'd say he's delighted when she fcuks off to bed. I don't think I could be in a marriage like that, but they tolerate each other somehow.

Oh, and she keeps a weapon beside the bed just in case he tries anything funny.

cliffandclare

My mother is fantastic she is the nicest person i know . A truly lovely woman . My dad is a hard man to describe, an awful temper , very strict , but aside from that is a good man underneath it all. A very good living man very religious .For all his shouting and roaring if anything goes wrong he is always there . Lecturing i know but he does try to help , now you couldnt be emotional with him .He would think you were dying if you said you loved him , but if your car breaks down he is the first on to help.

Now my mother in law is evil personified. The childhood my poor husband had was like something from a barnados add , he actually cant belive how good my parents are . How much time they have for us and their grandkids etc .Iwould like to tell her what a nasty bitch she is but i try to keep the peace. My husband HATES her. she would dissapear to the pub for days at a time leaving them all alone , she would be spaced out on pills most of the time. Never cooked for them or anything, they lived on chips but they all overcame it, they all got out into the world and did well, in spite of their appalling childhoods

IrishEyes19

Can't complain either. Have always been really good to us, and made sacrifices and disciplined us when needed. Happy and lucky I guess.

Chuck Stone

I had a good childhood. My Dad worked all his life. Our Dad helped us with our homework and read to us almost every night and brought us for walks to the local woods on sunny weekends (and other kids who's folks weren't as interested, lol). We went to the beach as a family most summer weekends.

My Ma was always around the house cooking and baking (she did a bit of work when we were in school). We always got a good dinner and really didn't want for anything. We got slapped the odd time but nothing out of the ordinary for those times.

I grew up in the north and I have to commend my Catholic folks for trying to insulate us from sectarianism. I remember having to ask them what 'a fenian' (bastard) was when another kid called me it. They even bought us sweets, crisps* and lemonade for the 12th of July 'parades' (we thought it was fantastic with all the drums and colours and noise).

I feel quite lucky I must say.


*Taytos (for those who don't know what crisps are) :pac:

BillyMitchel

Mother was perfect, started of as a mother and then like an older sister and as we both got older we became really good close friends and still are.

My old man had a very very tough childhood but turned out ok. He worked every hour he could to keep us in a good standard of living and his free time was spent in the pub and bookies spending his pocket money that my mother gave after all the bills were paid.

A bit of violence throughout the years due to me and him being drunk but my mother always made sure it was sorted the next day and then it was always forgotten. A good skin in fairness he still bringing me to Old Trafford 20 odd years.

As a couple they never really suited but married for over 30 years so it couldn't of been all bad.

Welling up here, going to go and look at porn or something make sure my balls are still there.

Actually reading thread this makes me feel very ****ing lucky I remember in school a kid who had obvious family problems came in to school with very old and torn football boots because his parents couldn't afford shoes and we all know how horrible kids can be to each other..

jubella

I could sit here and list the many character flaws of my parents, but at the end of the day they provided me with everything I needed and lots of what I wanted. When they separated, both became a bit selfish for a while, but now that I'm a bit older I can see why. I'm not going to lie, if my mother wasn't my mother, I probably wouldn't like her very much as a person, but I love her for everything she has done for me.

TrixIrl

My father was an absolute bastard. Hit my mother and me but not my siblings (found out years later he thought I wasnt his... I am), filled my head with absolute shi te - seemingly im ugly, stupid and probably "barren". Made my life a living hell. Heard from him for the 1st time in 5 yrs when he rang to tell me I had a half brother that had committed suicide and that if I showed up at the funeral(he thought i knew) he would beat the crap outta me.

In contrast I thought (& still do to a certain extent) that my mother was a saint. Left my father when it wasnt the done thing - worked in a chipper for years til she earned her degree. Remarried and provided us with a stable loving home.

Its only recently Ive realised shes the most manipulative bi tch that ever walked. She has eroded my self esteem to nothing and done a much better job than my father in making me think im worthless. This is the women I thought was my saviour- stockholm syndrome ftw right?

Sorry for the melodramtic rant!

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Maddie McCann Id say!!

Daisy M

Some of these posts give me a pain in my heart:(

FoxT

My folks were good. They got a lot of things right, and a some things wrong, and a few things badly wrong, but they were decent people & always did their utmost for us. RIP.

bnt

Both my parents are long deceased, and while my childhood wasn't bad as such, my parents didn't seem to be engaged at all, only doing what they absolutely had to and no more. I left home when I was 18 and never went back. It was only in retrospect that I was able to figure out what had been going on - I think - based on various things they said. I got the impression that they liked the idea of having children, but couldn't hack the reality at all. They were genuinely clueless about what kids need, beyond the obvious (food, clothes, shelter).

I have a hope that sharing information like this will encourage people to be better parents, and not make the mistakes their parents made. Personally, based on my experience, I think I can best serve the children of the world by not spawning any of my own.

trishasaffron

This Be the Verse


BY PHILIP LARKIN


They **** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were ****ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself

Niall558

This thread should be called ' I bet my father beat me more'

TehDagsBass

benwavner wrote: »

Maddie McCann Id say!!

Yeah, those bastards never give up in a game of hide and seek.

At least in the hiding part.

Easter Egg hunts must have been an absolute nightmare for poor Maddie and her siblings.

Gunslinger92

My parents are good parents.

My mom is deadly She's worked crappy minimum wage jobs her whole life but she still smiles and laughs everyday. I've always gotten on very well with her.

My dad... I was never as close to him as I was to my mom. Then he began to suffer depression, which lead to alcoholism, which led to him being kicked out of our house until he sorted himself out. I was very young so I don't remember much of it. I do remember my older brother and sister being disgusted at him though and not wanting to speak to him at all.. All of that didn't help.

My mom recently told me that she doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore. It made me feel horrible because it is only because of me and my little sister that she still is.

So whilst we may seem like a normal family, there are problems there, but then again it could be worse. Both my parents have always and continue to support me and all of my siblings..

token101

Jesus, there was me thinking that everyone was like me and their biggest childhood issue with their dad was why he made me sit through 2 f***ing hours of Aengus McNally singing in Mosney.

ChopShop

The only thing wrong my parents is that their children are awful.

Scruffles

have always thought it is more 'who doesnt have crap parents' than who does,humans are not faultless so its doubtful anyone has perfect parents.

mine were both accutely physicaly and mentaly abuseive as in those days they were told by the doctors to do so otherwise they woud be seen as neglecting-they also felt a lot of guilt because am severely disabled as if it was there fault,they had no understanding of the disabilities back then which also said the same for the doctors who saw it as severe negative behavior rather than having reasons behind it.

dad was hit by his dad with the usual stuff-belts and anything he coud get his hands on so it was what dad did to.
this was the eighties and nineties when corporal punishment was supposedly banned but was hit every day at school with rulers and their palms due to them not having a clue, and came home to much worse.
mum had hit the alcohol and became alcoholic as a result of not coping with having a disabled child which made her more violent and usualy resulted in the police coming around to sort her out.
she woud always say that she wished had never been born and a load of other stuff,still hear that one off her now when she is drunk.

due to the neglect,visible hatred from them and lack of bonds with either had been diagnosed with lifelong RAD [reactive attachment disorder,since childhood] a few years ago as am still accutely affected by it.
they are different now,dad is more like an actual dad-he was always that way for sister but she is the template they used for everything they wanted,mum is still alcoholic and can be violent but we get on very well when she isnt drunk.

it turned out dad is on the mild end of the autistic spectrum [not diagnosed but specialists of mine have pointed it out and have long thought it to] so even though we are at opposite ends of the spectrum we still clash alot.
a few of his brothers have spoken about the way was treated by him in the past as he used them as support, it has helped alot with moving on mentaly.

Battered Mars Bar

Any ladies with daddy issues, PM me.

Warper

summerskin wrote: »

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

That is just comic genius

philstar

my parents, esp my mammy wouldn't let me watch anything naughty on the telly...whenever any sexy scene would come on she would stand in front of the television:mad:

not only that but she put a big picture of the sacred heart in my bedroom so as to shame me into not wankin:mad:

eeeerrrrrrrr!!

branbee

I feel so much more grateful for my parents now!
I think what alot of parents forget is that a child only gets one childhood so they should try make it the best.
I only realised this properly a while ago myself and have started to try make my daughters childhood amazing even if it is tough to do so by myself. This thread has just reminded me why i should.

Esoteric_

May I direct half the posters to PI?

rorrissey

foxyboxer wrote: »

lousy beatniks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHaZyMxgxpk

Frynge

For a completely non religiouse person I must say I feel Blessed by the parents I had

jiltloop

I just read through this whole thread and decided I'm probably a little too strict on my kids and should probably look at the big picture and not take small things they do wrong to seriously.
I do think that alot of the time I'm a fun dad though, mostly cos I can be just as much of a kid as they are (sometimes more so!).

LH Pathe

so old fashioned they could be my grandparents, but rather that than some yummy mummy wannabe who wants to be my 'best friend'

if parenthood doesn't mature me either, indeed the opposite then heeeeelp..

questionmark?

My parents never had much when I was younger but god dang they worked hard to improve both their kids lives and their lives and ensured I grow up with good manners and a good work ethic. They did a good job considering and even in this thread I could not give out about them.

k.p.h

Actually my story is a little different, it was my loving parent who persevered while me and brother and sister acted like little ****s through our teens and early 20's.

It's the perseverance that gets me.. I don't know how they did it. A lot of parents would have given up or disowned us or something, but they just kept trying. My dad with his mild manned wisdom and my mother know exactly what you need when you need it. They just kept giving all they had.

And who knew, it worked. Can just about say that me and my siblings are all fairly well rounded individuals with a good sense of morals and responsibility.

I pretty sure even though we don't say it,we would all agree we owe them an awful lot.

saa

Ah yeah its a real mind fúck when you think about having a biological want for your parents but not having any love, support network, safety net, somewhere to move back to, someone to be with at something important like Christmas, birthdays, a graduation or wedding, someone to hold you and tell you everything will be okay, all those memories...
And everyone tells you to just get in contact with them I'm sure they'll be happy to see you now time has passed, their your parents after all

being a mother or father does not make you a good person but that pressure is always there and the blame often gets put on the child, like you must of been trouble or not cared because parents are caring right?

But then you can get sucked into that kind of thinking like the poisonous rut it is, all you can do is focus on others things and the good things you have like your health.

ArnoldJRimmer

Turtyturd wrote: »

Yep my ma was f*cking horrible.

I was playing basketball one day when a couple of guys who were up to no good started trouble, I ended up in one fight and she sent me off to live with my aunt and uncle who live miles away (forced me to take a cab and pay with my own money) she said she was scared or something (bullsh*t she just didn't want to look after me). Jokes on her though, my Aunt and Uncle are loaded.

Could have been worse, the cab driver could have had a BO problem

couch_dweller

father ( now desceased ) was the most self centred person ive ever met , prioritised his work way above his family and would never take your side if you had problems with teachers in school or anything for that matter , mother ( still alive ) is a very kind person but is not or never was the kind of mother to grab her kids future by the scruff of the neck ( not enough confidence ) when it was obvious her husband was pretty indifferent , baschically myself and my sibblings would not have gotten much invaluable life advice while growing up despite having never been short of the essential materials

joes girls

My Mam is the best i could want. Could talk or ask her anything. And out of all the mistakes i have made in my life, she never made me feel i let her down.
My Daughter on the other hand, does indeed think i'm the worst you can get, but when she is my age i hope that she will feel the same way to me that i feel to my Mam.
I loves me daddy too btw:)

Ginny

My parents are saints, everyone has their flaws, but my parents provided a loving, secure, encouraging family home for the 3 of us in the 80's. Looking back now we weren't that well off but us kids would never have realised that, they made sure we had everything we needed and more.If I can be even a quarter of the parent/person they were and still are my kids will be lucky. Even today my Dad spent all day helping with DIY in my house and my mum sent up Sunday dinner to us afterwards.
I lucked out with my parents and my in-laws, both sets are fantastic people.

maiden

As a foster parent let me tell you there are ALOT of **** parents in this country!!

RachaelVO

summerskin wrote: »

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

Brilliant, just stunningly brilliant.

If you don't write for a living you have to take it up, funniest post EVER, don't mind in AH, but on boards!:D:D:D:D

Red Hand

RachaelVO wrote: »

Brilliant, just stunningly brilliant.

If you don't write for a living you have to take it up, funniest post EVER, don't mind in AH, but on boards!:D:D:D:D

Not sure if you're being ironic, but it's a scene from Austin Powers.

RachaelVO

RachaelVO wrote: »

Brilliant, just stunningly brilliant.

If you don't write for a living you have to take it up, funniest post EVER, don't mind in AH, but on boards!:D:D:D:D

Red Hand wrote: »

Not sure if you're being ironic, but it's a scene from Austin Powers.

I meant the funniest post EVER bit... cos it just cracked me up, just wasn't expecting it among such serious posts.

I did google it though...

yore

yore ma kids!

Priori

My father was a fúcker, the things he did to our family I can't bring myself to mention. I was spared most of it thankfully, not so some of my older siblings.

The following picture gave me a chuckle. Parents are often blissfully aware of the damage they can do!

tightropetom

davet82 wrote: »

my mom is a total bitch, she wouldnt buy me a car until i was like 19

First world problems... ;-)

Mr Benevolent

My parents had their problems but never took them out on me or my brother. So yes, they are good parents and I'm incredibly grateful to them for raising me.

Medusa22

I think I'm quite lucky with my parents, especially compared to other people and I really appreciate them now. They did a lot for me when I needed them and I know that I can always rely on them. There were times when they didn't realise things that were happening and that did bother me for a while but overall I think they are very good people, perhaps just a bit naive.