Help me I'm dying

Witchie

Worst hangover ever. Can barely move without having to boke. Yet so uncomfortable lying down coz I fell backwards into nettles while having a pee in a field on the way home from football match last night and my arse is raw from the feckers.

Then I fell in my gravel driveway and hurt my knees so I cant lie on my tummy either.

Also fell out with my boyfriend to add to the misery.

Can someone please come over and shoot me.

Or bring me some diet 7up.

krudler

Witchie wrote: »

Worst hangover ever. Can barely move without having to boke. Yet so uncomfortable lying down coz I fell backwards into nettles while having a pee in a field on the way home from football match last night and my arse is raw from the feckers.

Then I fell in my gravel driveway and hurt my knees so I cant lie on my tummy either.

Also fell out with my boyfriend to add to the misery.

Can someone please come over and shoot me.

Or bring me some diet 7up.

classy bird

MickySticks

Witchie wrote: »

Worst hangover ever. Can barely move without having to boke. Yet so uncomfortable lying down coz I fell backwards into nettles while having a pee in a field on the way home from football match last night and my arse is raw from the feckers.

Then I fell in my gravel driveway and hurt my knees so I cant lie on my tummy either.

Also fell out with my boyfriend to add to the misery.

Can someone please come over and shoot me.

Or bring me some diet 7up.

Classy lady

Pushtrak

Surefire cure for a hangover, Witchie. You take a glass of nearly frozen, unstrained tomato juice. You plop a couple of oysters in there and you drink it down. Breathe deeply. Next you take a mound and I mean a mound of sweetbreads sauteed with some Canadian bacon and chestnuts. Finally some biscuits, big biscuits, smothered in gravy. Now here's where it gets tricky, you're gonna need some anchovies.

chin_grin

"boke"? "tummy"? man woman up! :pac:

mongdesade

I can sympathise...7 hours into a shift with a hangover that would kill Ollie Reed !

Why do we do it to ourselves ?

mikemac1

boke?

I never heard that before, had to stroll over to urban dictionary

You must be a nordie so

DEFTLEFTHAND

Sounds like you've got a bad dose of the FEAR as well. More drink is the only cure I'm afraid Witchie.

Kingp35

The only cure for a hangover that actually works is to have another drink!

mikemac1

Witchie wrote: »

Also fell out with my boyfriend to add to the misery.

Sleep with his best friend

This will make him jealous and he'll definitely want you back

stupidusername

get some food and liquid into ya, take a nap, and veg out for the day.

come over to mine, i'm doing nothing but that anyway...we can be miserable together.

funk-you

Just go on an all day bender but be an asshole to everyone. They'll forget about last night in a second.

-Funk

Funglegunk

I had a plunge pool installed in my house for this very reason.

mongdesade

I'm off shift in an hour & I'm going to take the sage advice of Messrs. Deftlefthand & Kingp35 & have a nice refreshing beverage in 'Against The Grain'...cheers m'dears

Shryke

"You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you and no one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself..."

An Irish coffee and painkillers if you actually want to feel better.

the keen edge

Witchie wrote: »

I fell backwards into nettles while having a pee in a field on the way home from football match last night and my arse is raw from the feckers.

Strange, you'd think the piss would neutralize the sting effect of the nettles wouldn't you?

May I suggest sh!tting as well as pissing the next time you get caught short love.

ShadowHearth

When he said: listen?

Did you answered: I ****ed your brother?

biko

Trying to muster up some sympathy for you OP but it's not working.

Witchie

Shryke wrote: »

"You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you and no one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself..."

An Irish coffee and painkillers if you actually want to feel better.

Been singing that in my head all morning. :-(

As for being a classy lady/bird, I usually am. I just got desperate and the bus wouldnt stop at the 24 hour station to let me use their facilities so had no choice in the matter but to pee in the field. 2 weeks ago in similar circumstances I got a shock from an electric fence.

Am a veggie so no to the meat/fish suggestions! Had my usual hangover cure of ready salted crisps and bread but they came straight back up.

Really dont want to drink more though. My mates want me to come into pub to watch the Liverpool match but really not fit for it.

I blame tesco for selling boxes of bud so cheap. :-(

Yeah am a nordy and prefer the word boke to any other descriptions coz it doesnt sound as nasty.

Susie_Q

Non-AH response: You need to drink some ORS (Oral Rehydration Solution). Mix one litre of water with half a teaspoon of salt and few tablespoons of sugar; mix well until dissolved and then drink. Guaranteed to help you feel better.

AH response: Drink more booze, blast things with piss, sure aren't Irish women mingers etc etc

Chamone MF

Drink water, shower, sleep.
I'll tend to your nettle injuries with my special ointment.

ShadowHearth

The thing that works best for me: sparkling water, lots of it.

mongdesade

AH response : Mong's Mojito's

1.25 oz Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum
12 mint leaves
1 tbsp sugar
0.5 oz lime juice
2 oz soda

Place mint leaves in bottom of glass.
Add crushed ice, Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum, sugar, & lime juice & give it a stir.
Add soda water & garnish with mint leaves.

Simples

Mental Mickey

IBTL

biko

Susie_Q wrote: »

Mix one litre of water with half a teaspoon of water

Isn't that just more water?

Owen_S

Stop being an idiot and drink some water next time/thread

Snowie

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snooz......

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can of coke.....

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eat food...

Witchie

the keen edge wrote: »

Strange, you'd think the piss would neutralize the sting effect of the nettles wouldn't you?

May I suggest sh!tting as well as pissing the next time you get caught short love.

No you may not! Ugh!

I even found some dock leaves and rubbed them on my affliction but to no effect.

Cant believe I got so drunk. Stupid crap week so wanted to block it out a bit so good enough for me.

Evie90

Hot shower, Disprin and sleep, always works for me.

DB21

Susie_Q wrote: »

blast things with piss

I think that's part of the reason she's in the state she is :pac:

Pandora2

Witchie wrote: »

Worst hangover ever. Can barely move without having to boke. Yet so uncomfortable lying down coz I fell backwards into nettles while having a pee in a field on the way home from football match last night and my arse is raw from the feckers.

Then I fell in my gravel driveway and hurt my knees so I cant lie on my tummy either.

Also fell out with my boyfriend to add to the misery.

Can someone please come over and shoot me.

Or bring me some diet 7up.

Could be worse OP, you could have the 'Dry Boke'!!:eek:

stringofmisery

witchie, your post has give me the biggest laugh!reminded me of a time way back, when drunkenly, in the gaeltacht,i took a 'shortcut' home one night.......through a field of thistles!!!shtate of me with scratches and scrapes the next day!.......falling into nettles while pissing...this is brilliant!

Witchie

starting to feel a little bit better now, managed to get a cup of tea into me and thinking of ringing for a takeaway later, the msg will sort me out.

Dunny

That's what following Roddy and the Mons brigade will do to you.

Hot bath, indian food, water as cold as you can manage it without it just being solid ice... Haribo works wonders too... friend of mine was told, by her doctor, that jellies can stop you from puking, and also aid if you're spouting from the other end as well....

My best hangover cure... a pack of Starburst, half a sandwich and an hour long horse riding lesson. I usually come back ready to start drinking again.

CrackisWhack

If you want to feel better, get yourself down the chemist and get a pack of neurophen+, take 4, then hit the pub and have 4 pints of guiness! sorted!

*this may not be the healthiest hangover cure, but it works for me

wilkie2006

Witchie wrote: »

As for being a classy lady/bird, I usually am. I just got desperate and the bus wouldnt stop at the 24 hour station to let me use their facilities so had no choice in the matter but to pee in the field. 2 weeks ago in similar circumstances I got a shock from an electric fence.

:eek:

They are the words of someone who pi$$es and $hits in fields regularly.

mawk

the keen edge wrote: »

Strange, you'd think the piss would neutralize the sting effect of the nettles wouldn't you?

May I suggest sh!tting as well as pissing the next time you get caught short love.

she didn't fall on a school of jellyfish..

ziggy23

Get a couple of smoothies into you run it outa ya:pac:

Susie_Q

biko wrote: »

Isn't that just more water?

LOL. Meant to write 'salt'.

Captain Graphite

Witchie wrote: »

my affliction

That has got to be the least sexy vagina metaphor ever.....

Sea Filly

krudler wrote: »

classy bird

MickySticks wrote: »

Classy lady

Hmmm... so neither of you has even peed outside, ever?

Witchie

wilkie2006 wrote: »

:eek:

They are the words of someone who pi$$es and $hits in fields regularly.

Never did a poop in a field and usually can hold on til we get to a toilet but occasionally have to do the necessary.

In 2 years of going to games on buses I this was only my 4th time to do this.

If Liverpool score my hangover will be forgotten!

CrackisWhack

Witchie wrote: »

Never did a poop in a field and usually can hold on til we get to a toilet but occasionally have to do the necessary.

In 2 years of going to games on buses I this was only my 4th time to do this.

If Liverpool score my hangover will be forgotten!

My sympathy is gone, enjoy your hangover! C'mon Chelski!!

ringadingding

ease back into the day with two bottles of wine