Single men vs Single women

Sappa

Sea Filly wrote: »

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

You spend far too much time worrying about her life.

This.[/Quote
Actually no just today on boards,I'm happily not single and enjoying the positivity of a healthy relationship.

shopaholic01

Sappa wrote: »

Sea Filly wrote: »

This.[/Quote
Actually no just today on boards,I'm happily not single and enjoying the positivity of a healthy relationship.

At least your friend has you, you must be a great source of comfort in her pathetic failure of a life:rolleyes:

Sappa

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Sappa wrote: »

Sea Filly wrote: »

This.[/Quote
Actually no just today on boards,I'm happily not single and enjoying the positivity of a healthy relationship.

At least your friend has you, you must be a great source of comfort in her pathetic failure of a life:rolleyes:

Shopaholic your a nasty piece of work,I feel sorry for your negativity.

shopaholic01

Sappa wrote: »

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Shopaholic your a nasty piece of work,I feel sorry for your negativity.

Sappa, I was being sarcastic. You were being negative - basically saying your friend is to be pitied because she is single in her 30's.

shopaholic01

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=78541076&postcount=109

Did you not feel sorry for her?????

OneArt

Scruffles wrote: »

if anyone has it 'worse',us nonsexuals/asexuals have it worse-we dont hear the end of peoples desperation; they make it sound like people who dont have a boy/girlfriend are not normal figures of society,and how having a relationship defines what they think all people shoud strive to be/have.
we have it shoved in our faces and the hetros who do actively shove it in peoples faces have the cheek to complain about gay people [as if theyre fcuking clones doing the same things] doing it to them,take that hypocrisy and shove it back up the hole it came from,and stfu.

What I find worse is when I like someone, but then it comes to the whole sex thing. Girls I've liked think I'm gay in denial because I'm not interested in having sex with them, and guys I've liked think I'm straight in denial!

Da Shins Kelly

I can only speak from my experience, but I think it goes both ways, like most people have been saying. I'm still young, but I do still think there's a certain amount of pressure on girls my age to be actively seeking out boyfriends. I'm sure it gets worse as you get older as the possibility of not being able to have children looms for a lot of women. I think with both sexes it's fairly similar - they both seem to get the pitying from people in relationships which is pretty condescending and makes it seem like being in a relationship is naturally what everyone wants and that being single is in no way desirable or a choice any sane person would make.

Katgurl

Sappa wrote: »

I feel sorry for women in there late 20's early 30's who are single for a long time.
I've a relative in her early 30's all her friends are marrying,having kids and she is single watching from the sidelines.
Women in there early to mid 30's are less appealing to guys there own age not all but many would prefer a younger model to test drive as she has less mileage.
Guys in there 30's can generally snag a younger lady a lot easier but in Iteland if a woman is still single at 30 odd she is considered a spinster and rellies feel sorry for her.

yes I feel sorry for your relly too if you are telling the truth and she is watching from the sidelines - why the hell isn't she doing something else like throwing herself into her career / travelling / fostering kids ie. Actually living her life instead of waiting for a man to arrive?

As for the younger models having less mileage, what a charming turn of phrase and attitude. I can't believe you're 31.

TehDagsBass

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Who do you think has it worst? Personally I think single men are stigmatized a lot more than women. If a man is single there is something wrong with him. People say… “You need to get out more, improve your game, go to the gym” etc.

Men take constructive criticism well, so people are only trying to help. That and there is the perception, which I personally believe to be right, that a guy who puts the effort into himself / trying to score a woman WILL score a woman, so when they don't, there's something that can be changed to sort it.

However if a woman is single the typical excuse is… “Ahh well…there’s no decent men left out there.” If a man said that about women he’d be branded a sexist. The single woman doesn’t have to change herself or go through some self improvement process.

That's because women don't take constructive criticism so well. If a guy asks you how something looks on him when you're getting ready for a night out, and you say "You look like an utter twat", they'll laugh it off and change into something else. If a woman says the same and you reply "You look an utter state, wear something else", they'll have a break down.

It's easier then to just blame the other party, as it consoles the woman and means the person providing the consolation doesn't have to deal with what could be a very pissed off lady if she were told what amounts to the truth.

Lads slag eachother all the time over their weight, haircuts, etc. Women tend to pander to eachother, face to face at least, giving them this protective bubble overall which, if pierced by a comment like "well, maybe you'd do better if you hit the gym", will release all kinds of hell because they're not in any way used to it like guys are.

This applies to not scoring on a night out or not finding a relationship in general. Lads are just that bit more open and upfront with one another. Girls aren't.

IN FACT, now that I come to think of it, female friends of guys tend to pander to men like they do to their women friends. They won't go "well, you look a bit fat recently and your haircut is ****", they'll say something like "I'm sure you just haven't met the right woman yet, she's out there somewhere!", as they do to their ... "bubbly" ... mates who can never get a man because they're all terrified of disappearing down a crevice in their ... "bubbles" ... and not returning.

Galwayguy35

Wattle wrote: »

I'm a single bloke early 40's. Ten years ago I was a bit panicked by the idea of 'being alone forever' but not now. I've kinda eased into solitude and am happy in my own company. Occassionally the snake does stir but maybe only once a fortnight. I'm really glad that I'm not a slave to my own sex drive anymore. I've been pretty much asexual for a long time now and to be honest it's a big relief. I haven't completely given up on the idea of meeting someone special but as one of my favourite singers says 'I'd rather be alone than try to be somebody that I'm not'.

Jeez I don't think I could go 2 weeks without moving the snake, having said that it's been a year and a half since I was with someone and I find the longer I'm single the less I think about sex.

LH Pathe

all the best ones are Taken. some day I am gon' free me a sweet little abductee

Susie_Q

OneArt wrote: »

What I find worse is when I like someone, but then it comes to the whole sex thing. Girls I've liked think I'm gay in denial because I'm not interested in having sex with them, and guys I've liked think I'm straight in denial!

Genuine question - why don't you want to have sex with women if you're not gay?

boomkatalog

Susie_Q wrote: »

Genuine question - why don't you want to have sex with women if you're not gay?

If you read the post again, it sounds more like OneArt is into guys and girls.

But correct me if I'm wrong

The no sex thing, I don't really get either... But that probably needs its own thread!

amacca

LH Pathe wrote: »

all the best ones are Taken. some day I am gon' free me a sweet little abductee

make sure you free the blonde one or else

a man with a very particular skill-set acquired over many years who may not know who you are or what you want and who has no money for ransom will look for you, will find you and will kill you!

shopaholic01

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Jeez I don't think I could go 2 weeks without moving the snake, having said that it's been a year and a half since I was with someone and I find the longer I'm single the less I think about sex.

Never heard that before . I now have a mental image of snake charmers. Are you talking about independant or assisted movement;)?

Daveysil15

Irrespective of the negative connotations that come with been single, I still think its easier for women to find a partner. I know a woman is her mid 30's with 2 kids, very average looking, but she has no problem getting a man when she's on a night out - and I don't just mean for a fling. The dating game does not favor the men here. The women seem to have all the power. A lot of women say they can't find a good man, but they can still get men.

Dudess

Sappa wrote: »

Actually no just today on boards,I'm happily not single and enjoying the positivity of a healthy relationship.

You strike me as one of those people who can't cope with being single, that you have to reach particular standards/expectations, that what others think of you is extremely important. Whatever floats your boat, but perhaps try not to project it onto others, like here and on your thread about the cheek of middle-aged Irish women for not looking hot enough for you, then you'll find people will be more pleasant to you.

Has to be harder for the ladies, women are a nasty shower of cnuts and take joy in being hooked up when one of their friends are single. I reckon they see it as a form of on up(wo)manship. Chaps on the other hand wouldn't see it in the same light as if they are married they are no doubt suffering from the wandering eye and as most of them have married rotten looking pigs they wouldn't mind having a clean slate to have another throw of the dice.

Such is life :pac:

shopaholic01

RoverJames wrote: »

Has to be harder for the ladies, women are a nasty shower of cnuts and take joy in being hooked up when one of their friends are single. I reckon they see it as a form of on up(wo)manship. Chaps on the other hand wouldn't see it in the same light as if they are married they are no doubt suffering from the wandering eye and as most of them have married rotten looking pigs they wouldn't mind having a clean slate to have another throw of the dice.

Such is life :pac:

Unhappily married by any chance?

Dudess

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Irrespective of the negative connotations that come with been single, I still think its easier for women to find a partner. I know a woman is her mid 30's with 2 kids, very average looking, but she has no problem getting a man when she's on a night out - and I don't just mean for a fling. The dating game does not favor the men here. The women seem to have all the power. A lot of women say they can't find a good man, but they can still get men.

So it's gone from "Single men are judged more than single women" which is bollocks to "Women in their 30s and older can pull more easily than men in their 30s and older". Perhaps but... what are you going to do about it? It makes no sense IMO to whinge about something for the sake of it. Tbh it has a whiff of agenda-pushing/projecting... as if you're trying to find someone to blame. Women are not bitches for turning down someone whom they don't fancy, so long as they do it in a considerate way. Obviously they're ***** if they're rude to the guy. But instead of venting about how unfair it is, why not examine your own confidence - it doesn't seem you have a lot, and this can be worked on. Confidence (being happy in oneself, not arrogant and manipulative obviously) is attractive.

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Unhappily married by any chance?

You got that completely wrong, I'm single

Brain Stroking

Dudess wrote: »

That must suck all right. Some people cannot cope with being single, seem to feel they are defined only by being part of a couple - must be awful to be so needy. But worse again, they project this neediness by getting bothered over OTHER people being single. To care so much about other people's relationship status or lack thereof has got to indicate issues with themselves, otherwise, why would they care?

I'm not talking btw about when people say "Oh so and so is a cool person, weird how they're still single" - that's just being nice. And there's nothing needy about wanting to fall in love.

Single man and agree with this.

Dudess, how ya fixed for a bit of how ya goin on?

Dudess

Generally women are worse for the "Get a move on" sh1t. The small number of men who go on like that seem to be old or effeminate and whipped, but women are generally worse too for the "Aw... you're amazing, no man is good enough for you" rubbish which doesn't help either. If someone is really pulling out all the stops to find a partner and it just ain't happening, maybe they need to consider that it's not the world being mean to them but whether they can work on anything - usually confidence, and not appearing desperate. Relaxing and focusing less on meeting someone at every given opportunity will make a person more attractive.

Sappa

Dudess wrote: »

Sappa wrote: »

Actually no just today on boards,I'm happily not single and enjoying the positivity of a healthy relationship.

You strike me as one of those people who can't cope with being single, that you have to reach particular standards/expectations, that what others think of you is extremely important. Whatever floats your boat, but perhaps try not to project it onto others, like here and on your thread about the cheek of middle-aged Irish women for not looking hot enough for you, then you'll find people will be more pleasant to you.

Wrong again,
I have gone many happy years single and had no interest in a relationship or marrying but then along comes the right girl.
I base my observations on nights out,what male friends tell me and colleagues at work.
I work with two ladies who cannot stand some of there friends who are recently married as they are always asking them when are you going to give us a day out.
The pressure is huge on these girls by there on peers,it's like a competition.
Luckily my wife and I had lived a good life before we settled down and we did not rush our marriage.
I was just as happy single as I am married and see no difference in my life.
After hours is just getting too serious,I only post in here for a laugh and you get hounded by raging butch feminists.

Siuin

Sappa wrote: »

I was just as happy single as I am married and see no difference in my life.
After hours is just getting too serious,I only post in here for a laugh and you get hounded by raging butch feminists.

Gee, can't understand why they don't appreciate your input there, Sappa. Neurotic women, eh? :rolleyes:

God bless your wife, she must have the patience of a saint. Or perhaps she just freaked out at 30 and settled herself.

Sappa

Siuin wrote: »

Sappa wrote: »

I was just as happy single as I am married and see no difference in my life.
After hours is just getting too serious,I only post in here for a laugh and you get hounded by raging butch feminists.

Gee, can't understand why they don't appreciate your input there, Sappa. Neurotic women, eh? :rolleyes:

God bless your wife, she must have the patience of a saint. Or perhaps she just freaked out at 30 and settled herself.

She's under 30 so I'm still safe there.

Siuin

Sappa wrote: »

Ohh I'm 31 and do you come here often.

Sappa wrote: »

Women in there early to mid 30's are less appealing to guys there own age not all but many would prefer a younger model to test drive as she has less mileage.

Sappa wrote: »

She's under 30 so I'm still safe there.

Went for one with "less mileage" I see- how wonderful, must bring her for the boardsies to test drive some time

Sappa

Siuin wrote: »

Sappa wrote: »

Ohh I'm 31 and do you come here often.

Sappa wrote: »

Women in there early to mid 30's are less appealing to guys there own age not all but many would prefer a younger model to test drive as she has less mileage.

Sappa wrote: »

She's under 30 so I'm still safe there.

Went for one with "less mileage" I see- how wonderful, must bring her for the boardsies to test drive some time

Nahh she's only one owner and not coded to start with another key.

Daveysil15

Dudess wrote: »

So it's gone from "Single men are judged more than single women" which is bollocks to "Women in their 30s and older can pull more easily than men in their 30s and older". Perhaps but... what are you going to do about it? It makes no sense IMO to whinge about something for the sake of it. Tbh it has a whiff of agenda-pushing/projecting... as if you're trying to find someone to blame. Women are not bitches for turning down someone whom they don't fancy, so long as they do it in a considerate way. Obviously they're ***** if they're rude to the guy. But instead of venting about how unfair it is, why not examine your own confidence - it doesn't seem you have a lot, and this can be worked on. Confidence (being happy in oneself, not arrogant and manipulative obviously) is attractive.

This is exactly what I'm saying. Men are not allowed to complain about it, but its ok for women to denigrate men. I'm quite happy in myself. I'm just pointing out that its easier for women to meet men, yet you're saying I have to examine my own confidence. Well what does that have to do with anything???

BarackPyjama

Something worth noting for women:

• There is a popular movement to label mens' sexuality as predatory and dangerous in certain sections of society.
• Men are still expected to do the chasing/chatting up/pursuing.

With the above in mind, if you're a woman and find yourself single but maybe wouldn't mind meeting someone - make the first move. A lot of guys simply won't make the effort anymore lest they be labelled 'rapey'.

Siuin

Sappa wrote: »

Nahh she's only one owner and not coded to start with another key.

LOL
Oh please-- tell your wife that you just publicly declared that you are her 'owner' -- I'm sure she'll be very impressed.

Dudess

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Dudess wrote: »

So it's gone from "Single men are judged more than single women" which is bollocks to "Women in their 30s and older can pull more easily than men in their 30s and older". Perhaps but... what are you going to do about it? It makes no sense IMO to whinge about something for the sake of it. Tbh it has a whiff of agenda-pushing/projecting... as if you're trying to find someone to blame. Women are not bitches for turning down someone whom they don't fancy, so long as they do it in a considerate way. Obviously they're ***** if they're rude to the guy. But instead of venting about how unfair it is, why not examine your own confidence - it doesn't seem you have a lot, and this can be worked on. Confidence (being happy in oneself, not arrogant and manipulative obviously) is attractive.

This is exactly what I'm saying. Men are not allowed to complain about it, but its ok for women to denigrate men. I'm quite happy in myself. I'm just pointing out that its easier for women to meet men, yet you're saying I have to examine my own confidence. Well what does that have to do with anything???

Where did I say it's ok to denigrate men? And how are you so sure I wouldn't give similar advice to a woman?

eviltwin

Trust a thread like this to bring the regular AH saddos out in force.

Dudess

Sappa wrote: »

I have gone many happy years single and had no interest in a relationship or marrying but then along comes the right girl.
I base my observations on nights out,what male friends tell me and colleagues at work.
I work with two ladies who cannot stand some of there friends who are recently married as they are always asking them when are you going to give us a day out.
The pressure is huge on these girls by there on peers,it's like a competition.
Luckily my wife and I had lived a good life before we settled down and we did not rush our marriage.
I was just as happy single as I am married and see no difference in my life.
After hours is just getting too serious,I only post in here for a laugh and you get hounded by raging butch feminists.

Why discredit yourself after making some reasonable points with that silly trolling at the end?

BarackPyjama

eviltwin wrote: »

Trust a thread like this to bring the regular AH saddos out in force.

Eh... it's After Hours.

eviltwin

BarackPyjama wrote: »

Eh... it's After Hours.

True, but its a shame when something that could have made a good talking point turns into an anti men/anti women rant from the usual suspects.

Scanlas The 2nd

BarackPyjama wrote: »

Something worth noting for women:

• There is a popular movement to label mens' sexuality as predatory and dangerous in certain sections of society.
• Men are still expected to do the chasing/chatting up/pursuing.

With the above in mind, if you're a woman and find yourself single but maybe wouldn't mind meeting someone - make the first move. A lot of guys simply won't make the effort anymore lest they be labelled 'rapey'.

Translation you're just to afraid to talk to women and need to vent.

BarackPyjama

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Translation you're just to afraid to talk to women and need to vent.

I'm engaged. Never had a problem talking to women myself.

So you think that men should do all the chasing? Seems like a kind of sexist attitude in this egalitarian, enlightened society.

Scanlas The 2nd

BarackPyjama wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Translation you're just to afraid to talk to women and need to vent.

I'm engaged. Never had a problem talking to women myself.

So you think that men should do all the chasing? Seems like a kind of sexist attitude in this egalitarian, enlightened society.

I believe in personal freedom. No one is obliged to do any chatting up. That means if you want to meet the opposite sex and no one is chatting you up you should chat up the opposite sex.

CL7

Christ not sure if they are serious but there's some bitter people in this thread.

BarackPyjama

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I believe in personal freedom. No one is obliged to do any chatting up. That means if you want to meet the opposite sex and no one is chatting you up you should chat up the opposite sex.

Totally. As it stands though, and correct me if I'm wrong, men are expected to do nearly all the chasing/chatting up in modern society. "Women like to be pursued", no?

Battered Mars Bar

BarackPyjama wrote: »

Totally. As it stands though, and correct me if I'm wrong, men are expected to do nearly all the chasing/chatting up in modern society. "Women like to be pursued", no?

I'm a very average looking guy and have been chatted up a good few times out. I think some girls if they want something they just go for it.

Scanlas The 2nd

BarackPyjama wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I believe in personal freedom. No one is obliged to do any chatting up. That means if you want to meet the opposite sex and no one is chatting you up you should chat up the opposite sex.

Totally. As it stands though, and correct me if I'm wrong, men are expected to do nearly all the chasing/chatting up in modern society. "Women like to be pursued", no?

People can expect whatever they want to expect, I don't see the problem. Men tend to do more chatting up so based on that people expect men to do more chatting up.

And if women do like to be persued I don't see the problem, people are entitled to like what they want.

I get the impression you see women as having all the power and think it isn't fair.

Well look at it this way, women imo find it about as difficult to get sex as men do. Women have far fewer viable options to choose from. For men there is a much larger percentage of women they could enjoy sex with compared to women.

Daveysil15

BarackPyjama wrote: »

• There is a popular movement to label mens' sexuality as predatory and dangerous in certain sections of society.
• Men are still expected to do the chasing/chatting up/pursuing.

.

This is very true and precisely why I think men have it worse. This idea that mens sexuality is predatory is something that is truly unique here. In most other countries I've been to I haven't encountered this. The assumption that you're only after one thing does not make it easy.

BarackPyjama

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I get the impression you see women as having all the power and think it isn't fair.

Not really. I'm more of the opinion that, despite liberation, society still expects women to be wallflowers and men to be the pursuers. It's an outdated way of thinking. Although I'd imagine a lot of ladies would be happy to keep it that way because it saves them risking rejection. You can hardly blame anyone that thinks that way. I've been out of the dating seem a while now though. Maybe things have moved on?

Fiona

Siuin wrote: »

I have a rule with pity: Don't feel sorry for someone who doesn't feel sorry for themselves. Kids and a white picket fence aren't for everyone.

+1

Interesting thread. I am 30 and I have recenty seperated from my husband and well am really enjoying being a singleton. It's early days and maybe it will get to be a pain in the future but I would rather be on my own than be in a unhappy relationship.

I do hate the whole biological clock statements partly because I don't want children of my own so I would hate for fellas to be giving me pity thinking I was desperate to shack up with somebody just to have kids :rolleyes:

That said my brother has also recently finished an 11 year relationship but all he wants is the whole family thing, when it came to the crunch though he just finally realised he was with the wrong woman so he had to call time and well I admire him for doing that than going on and then raising kids in a potentially very happy / broken home.

Smile, enjoy everything that comes your way and realise there will always be somebody who is in a worse situation that you is going to be my singleton motto

woodoo

BarackPyjama wrote: »

So you think that men should do all the chasing? Seems like a kind of sexist attitude in this egalitarian, enlightened society.

We will have true equality when women do as much chasing as men.

Battered Mars Bar

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

I'm a very average looking guy and have been chatted up a good few times out. I think some girls if they want something they just go for it.

Only rotten looking birds or gays chat me up usually
'tis very rare something half decent looking of the female variety initiates a chat with me.

amacca

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

For men there is a much larger percentage of women they could enjoy sex with compared to women.

Possibly..... but tbh I'm not sure I buy that either

I'm a man and I'm a self confessed picky bastard.......There are all levels of promiscuity in both men and women imo

shopaholic01

Daveysil15 wrote: »

This is very true and precisely why I think men have it worse. This idea that mens sexuality is predatory is something that is truly unique here. In most other countries I've been to I haven't encountered this. The assumption that you're only after one thing does not make it easy.

We don't all think that men are sex crazed predators. If we did, heterosexual people would rarely have sex.