Single men vs Single women

Dudess

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

A lot of talk on the thread about women wanting a guy with "confidence".

This is usually the most pc way women can actually express their preferences for a partner without coming across as being just 'shallow' and/or 'a gold digger'.

Women are attracted to men with confidence because it is a sign that a guy has reasons to be confident and it is those reasons that women are really seeking out, nothing at all to do with mere confidence.

If a guy is decent, sound, good laugh, good morals etc etc then what difference should it make if he is confident or not? It shouldn't and when women see that a guy has all these attributes that they assocaiate with confidence anyway, it usually doesn't.

tl;dr

Women want guys with confidence for the same reasons that guys like women with DD bras, as both are indicative of what they are really after: big tits .. and big boobs, respectively.

Very presumptuous (among other not-so-good things). For lots of people, confidence simply means happiness in oneself. What you've described is alien to me as a definition of confidence. "Usually"? And definitely your talk of "PC" is alien...
Being happy in oneself also means not having a persecution complex - that was the context in which I used the term. The very desirable traits you list seem indicative of a confident guy actually - rather than a guy who's unsure of himself and insecure and needy. Of course it's normal to have a degree of insecurity/uncertainty/neediness, but when these are amplified to the point of overshadowing the positive characteristics, then the question of confidence, or lack thereof, pops up.
When women talk about confidence, they don't always mean ridiculously self-assured and powerful and all that stuff, which seems to be what you're implying most women want.

Daveysil15

It's difficult to quantify confidence. It can have different meanings. I would hope its not the main attribute that women go for in a man. It's usually the nice guys that finish last though, or at the very least they're not as successful.

Dudess

Daveysil15 wrote: »

It's difficult to quantify confidence. It can have different meanings. I would hope its not the main attribute that women go for in a man. It's usually the nice guys that finish last though, or at the very least they're not as successful.

What would be wrong with a woman's preference being a man who's contented in himself? I'm not talking about cocky. Unfortunately a guy who's painfully lacking in self esteem won't be as popular with the ladies as a guy who's more comfortable in his skin (not vain) and is able to stand up for himself (not a macho gobshyte).

Mr.Biscuits

Dudess wrote: »

What you've described is alien to me as a definition of confidence.

Where did I post a definition of confidence?

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

It's difficult to quantify confidence. It can have different meanings. I would hope its not the main attribute that women go for in a man. It's usually the nice guys that finish last though, or at the very least they're not as successful.

Nice guys lacking confidence finish last.

Guys who are excessively nice, suggesting they're trying too hard to please the other person and not themselves, come across as desperate and/or lacking in confidence, and often finish last.

Nice guys with a reasonable level of self-confidence generally don't finish last.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that niceness and self-confidence are mutually exclusive, but they're not.

Daveysil15

Dudess wrote: »

What would be wrong with a woman's preference being a man who's contented in himself? I'm not talking about cocky. Unfortunately a guy who's painfully lacking in self esteem won't be as popular with the ladies as a guy who's more comfortable in his skin (not vain) and is able to stand up for himself (not a macho gobshyte).

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with been attracted to a guy who's confident as long as that's not the only thing you're judging him on. It shouldn't be a deal breaker. He might have many other great traits that would make him a good catch.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with been attracted to a guy who's confident as long as that's not the only thing you're judging him on. It shouldn't be a deal breaker. He might have many other great traits that would make him a good catch.

Unfortunately I don't think most people choose to be attracted to confidence. It's just a basic attraction you can't do too much about.

Mr.Biscuits

The King of Moo wrote: »

Unfortunately I don't think most people choose to be attracted to confidence. It's just a basic attraction you can't do too much about.

Like I said earlier:

'Confidence' is just a buzz word for many other things which women are looking for in a man and as confidence is indicative of such things, they will find that attribute attractive -- initially.

"Confidence" is just an umbrella term for much of what would be considered very taboo ('non-PC' doesn't seem to be being appreciated) for women to just come out with and say that that is what they find attractive in a guy (in today's current climate of the independent woman at least).

I genuinely do not believe confidence, in and of itself, is seen as attractive by ANY woman. Such women are lying to themselves if they think that it is. That is unless they have asked some homeless bum out on a date because of the cool and confident way in which the approached them and asked for some loose change one night. For those women, I'll make an exception.

Sure, there will be girls pulled because guys acted confident but when the women soon find out the guy's confidence is based on naff all, he will soon be kicked to the curb.

In other words: confidence will help you pull a girl, but it won't help you keep her. That is unless you have pulled a girl* who is genuinely attracted to confident guys and doesn't at all need to see evidence of any accompanying life circumstances to 'back-up' this self assured attitude. If that's the case, then you'll have her for life.

* They don't exist.

The King of Moo

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

Like I said earlier:

'Confidence' is just a buzz word for many other things which women are looking for in a man and as confidence is indicative of such things, they will find that attribute attractive -- initially.

"Confidence" is just an umbrella term for much of what would be considered very taboo ('non-PC' doesn't seem to be being appreciated) for women to just come out with and say that that is what they find attractive in a guy (in today's current climate of the independent woman at least).

I disagree, I think the impression of genuine confidence is the most important thing. Like I said earlier, it's an unconsciously attractive thing: I don't think women are thinking about what confidence might represent: it's just attractive in a basic way.

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

I genuinely do not believe confidence, in and of itself, is seen as attractive by ANY woman. Such women are lying to themselves if they think that it is. That is unless they have asked some homeless bum out on a date because of the cool and confident way in which the approached them and asked for some loose change one night. For those women, I'll make an exception.

No-one's saying confidence alone is enough to win someone. Of course everyone has their own individual tastes in addition to finding confidence attractive. Someone who's quite physically unattractive yet confident will have a harder time of it than a good-looking confident fellow. Similarly, a homeless man might be very confident, but he'll also be dirty, smelly and literally penniless, which will work against his confidence.
Confidence isn't the only thing women look for in a man, but it's generally the cornerstone upon which attractiveness is founded.

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

Sure, there will be girls pulled because guys acted confident but when the women soon find out the guy's confidence is based on naff all, he will soon be kicked to the curb.

In other words: confidence will help you pull a girl, but it won't help you keep her. That is unless you have pulled a girl* who is genuinely attracted to confident guys and doesn't at all need to see evidence of any accompanying life circumstances to 'back-up' this self assured attitude. If that's the case, then you'll have her for life.

* They don't exist.

Acting confident is not the same as being confident. I agree that things might fall apart in a relationship if a woman finds that a man's put-on confidence is not based on actual confidence. That's obvious to most people.
That's why it's important to develop actual, less-showy, self-confidence rather than simply pretend to be confident.

jaffacakesyum

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

Like I said earlier:

'Confidence' is just a buzz word for many other things which women are looking for in a man and as confidence is indicative of such things, they will find that attribute attractive -- initially.

"Confidence" is just an umbrella term for much of what would be considered very taboo ('non-PC' doesn't seem to be being appreciated) for women to just come out with and say that that is what they find attractive in a guy (in today's current climate of the independent woman at least).

I genuinely do not believe confidence, in and of itself, is seen as attractive by ANY woman. Such women are lying to themselves if they think that it is. That is unless they have asked some homeless bum out on a date because of the cool and confident way in which the approached them and asked for some loose change one night. For those women, I'll make an exception.

Sure, there will be girls pulled because guys acted confident but when the women soon find out the guy's confidence is based on naff all, he will soon be kicked to the curb.

In other words: confidence will help you pull a girl, but it won't help you keep her. That is unless you have pulled a girl* who is genuinely attracted to confident guys and doesn't at all need to see evidence of any accompanying life circumstances to 'back-up' this self assured attitude. If that's the case, then you'll have her for life.

* They don't exist.

Absolute rubbish. Not sure if you're trolling or not so won't bother saying much more than that. (Apologies if you're not trolling and it is your opinion, but there are just so many trolls on these type of threads).

I love the way people on here are so confident in saying "women like x y and z". You can't speak for all women.

Personally I like confidence in a man and it doesn't need to be accompanied by a model body or fancy car or anything like that. I just like a man who is confident (not cocky), happy in himself.

Your arguement about homeless people is a moot point. There are various reasons why women mightn't date a homeless man so whether he has confidence or not is irrelevant.

We're not saying confidence is ALL that is needed in a man to be attractive. They still need to be (for me anyway) nice, kind, smart, funny, ambitious etc.

sebbdy

dont think we are made to be together outside of a community. there is too much pressure on relationships and not enough support. relationships need support. men need men and women need women to do their things. ultimately we are always alone even in a relationship....its how we feel on the inside

OneArt

boomkatalog wrote: »

If you read the post again, it sounds more like OneArt is into guys and girls.

But correct me if I'm wrong

The no sex thing, I don't really get either... But that probably needs its own thread!

To answer Susie Q's question, it's called being asexual.

Some people are sexually attracted to men, some are to women, some are just not sexually attracted to anyone. That's me.

But most asexuals still have emotional attraction to people, sometimes exclusively to one gender, sometimes to both. We still have the "need" for a relationship like everyone else would have.

Daveysil15

Whatever way you want to describe confidence or how attractive it may be, I think the most important thing is to just be yourself - as cliché as that may sound. I really hate all this PUA rubbish that perpetrates the idea that men need to be cocky and funny in order to attract women. Basically men need to change themselves. This is what I meant at the start of the thread when I mentioned the self improvement process.

You don't hear women been told to change something as fundamental as a personality trait or a conversational skill in order to attract men. It’s not natural. We are who we are. Why change ourselves for anyone? I think Bruce Lee summed it up best when he said... "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."

woodoo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Whatever way you want to describe confidence or how attractive it may be, I think the most important thing is to just be yourself - as cliché as that may sound. I really hate all this PUA rubbish that perpetrates the idea that men need to be cocky and funny in order to attract women. Basically men need to change themselves. This is what I meant at the start of the thread when I mentioned the self improvement process.

You don't hear women been told to change something as fundamental as a personality trait or a conversational skill in order to attract men. It’s not natural. We are who we are. Why change ourselves for anyone? I think Bruce Lee summed it up best when he said... "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."

I agree with you there. A quiet man is not suddenly going to become a confidant witty lothario just because someone told him he needs to to appeal to women. All men can really do is improve how they look and sharpen up a bit. Their personality isn't going to change. Wit,charm and sociability are either in someone or they are not.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Whatever way you want to describe confidence or how attractive it may be, I think the most important thing is to just be yourself - as cliché as that may sound. I really hate all this PUA rubbish that perpetrates the idea that men need to be cocky and funny in order to attract women. Basically men need to change themselves. This is what I meant at the start of the thread when I mentioned the self improvement process.

You don't hear women been told to change something as fundamental as a personality trait or a conversational skill in order to attract men. It’s not natural. We are who we are. Why change ourselves for anyone? I think Bruce Lee summed it up best when he said... "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."

And that's being self-confident: being happy with yourself and not feeling pressured into pretending to be something else.

Being confident doesn't have to mean putting on brash outward shows of confidence: people who do that are more likely to be insecure and feel the need to pretend to the world that they're confident.

Someone can easily be quietly confident, and that confidence will radiate outward, regardless of how quiet they are.
Again, a lot of people seem to think that being confident and being quiet are mutually exclusive when they're not at all.

When people talk about women generally finding confidence attractive, some men seem to think that that means women like guys with a lot of swagger: not necessarily true. Confidence is generally attractive, but that means being happy with yourself, whether that self is an introverted or an extroverted self.

So like you said, being yourself, but also being comfortable with yourself, is key.

Some people also seem to suggest that confidence levels are tied up with a person's personality (which leads to a defeatist attitude of thinking "I'm not a confident person, that's my personality,") but I don't think they're an integral part of someone's personality. You shouldn't try to change you who are, but it's perfectly natural to try to change your levels of self-confidence, and that doesn't mean trying to change your fundamental personality.

Mr.Biscuits

The King of Moo wrote: »

I don't think women are thinking about what confidence might represent: it's just attractive in a basic way.

I don't think they are either.

it's just attractive in a basic way.

You're being a touch naive if you genuinely think that.

A guy who is confident is a guy who is not desperate and a guy who is not desperate, is a guy who has choice and a guy who has choice, has reasons for having that choice and it these reasons which are the true reason that women are attracted to confident men. It doesn't have to be a running thought process.

No-one's saying confidence alone is enough to win someone.

The implication is there when it is said devoid of mentioning other attributes, which regularly happens when women are discussing what attracts them to a guy. Confidence is the number one attribute that will mentioned and many times it will be said without other attributes being mentioned.

Similarly, a homeless man might be very confident, but he'll also be dirty, smelly and literally penniless, which will work against his confidence.

Precisely.

Confidence isn't the only thing women look for in a man, but it's generally the cornerstone upon which attractiveness is founded.

I see no evidence for that at all. If anything, from what I have observed from life, confidence without the goods to back it up, is soon seen as a negative and far from the cornerstone that you suggest.

Acting confident is not the same as being confident. I agree that things might fall apart in a relationship if a woman finds that a man's put-on confidence is not based on actual confidence. That's obvious to most people.
That's why it's important to develop actual, less-showy, self-confidence rather than simply pretend to be confident.

I agree which is why I could never understood how all the PUA stuff worked for guys as any of what I seen on YouTube, just came across as arrogance and smarm.

For the sake of argument, lets just presume we are talking about genuine confidence. Do you not accept that instinctively women are attracted to confident guys because guys lacking confidence tend to be more desperate and less likely to have a lot going for them than the confident ones? Even if it is, subconscious.

The King of Moo

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

You're being a touch naive if you genuinely think that.

I'm happy to let you think that.

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

A guy who is confident is a guy who is not desperate and a guy who is not desperate, is a guy who has choice and a guy who has choice, has reasons for having that choice and it these reasons which are the true reason that women are attracted to confident men. It doesn't have to be a running thought process.

You seem to be looking at confidence entirely through the prism of attracting the opposite sex: it's more basic than that. Confidence based on attractiveness to others is a flimsy sort of confidence that will never really last if someone isn't truly at ease in their own skin, and not just feeling confident because they have these options. With true self-confidence, these options might but nice, but are ultimately irrelevant.

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

I see no evidence for that at all. If anything, from what I have observed from life, confidence without the goods to back it up, is soon seen as a negative and far from the cornerstone that you suggest.

What goods? Again, you seem to be thinking of confidence in a fairly limited way: based on and reflecting material, tangible "successes" or plus points. Confidence means not having to feel you need to back up your confidence with "goods."
True self-confidence is about being comfortable with who you are, regardless of what "goods" you may or may not have.

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

For the sake of argument, lets just presume we are talking about genuine confidence. Do you not accept that instinctively women are attracted to confident guys because guys lacking confidence tend to be more desperate and less likely to have a lot going for them than the confident ones? Even if it is, subconscious.

No, I don't entirely accept that. I don't think you can generalise that all men lacking confidence have less going for them. Confidence doesn't always come from outer trappings of success, either in a material sense or in terms of having some attractive qualities.
Desperation isn't always a factor either: that only applies when someone is clearly trying to find a woman, but those aren't the only times women notice men and their confidence levels. A diffident colleague, for example, won't necessarily appear desperate.

I think the attraction to confidence is a pretty fundamental thing: it shows someone's at ease with themselves, which people find attractive. Maybe it's because that shows the person will not bring any serious drama to the table, but I think it's even more basic than that.

BarackPyjama

Domo230 wrote: »

Men can still have kids much later in life so we don't have as much pressure to settle down.

Not entirely sure how true that rings. It seems to be a common myth. Sure men can father a kid at 70 but I wouldn't imagine that there are many women in their early 30's who'd be willing to take on that burden - an elderly father for their child who could well be dead before she turns 40. I think most men who want to have children probably want to do so before 40 themselves.

firedancer

Dudess wrote: »

My uncle's sexual preference was called into question on ratemyteacher.ie because he was still single at 45ish. He showed them when he later got himself a lady ten years younger and sired three kiddies by her. :pac:

crikey who even talks like that ?????:eek:
are we talking human beings here or animals ....

DonQuay1

Dudess wrote: »

Ah that's only for casual rides/flings - we're talking relationships here.

Actually - I'd disagree. Most people meet at pubs / bars / clubs. You have to actually be rejected quite a few times just to get to a state where you have a chance to then think - a roi de / fling? Or, I like her - lets she if she'll date me!
Rejection from the opposite sex is part of a mans life - unless you're showing a fat wallet. Then your 'chances' sky-rocket for EITHER a roi de / fling or a date and relationship!

BarackPyjama

Men and women are shallow but they eventually settle when they realise they're running out of time.

You can close the thread now.

DonQuay1

maryk12 wrote: »

I know some women who think your nothing without a husband or boyfriend.
"......It was a well known fact that her husband proposed to her due the land she owned. Within a few years 2 of her daughters got pregnant to keep there boyfriends...."

Let's rephrase:-
"......It was a well known fact that " .... she encouraged / pressed / incentivised .... " her husband [to] propose[d] to her due to the land she owned. "


Great. Mammy got her man by flashing her cash. Classy!!

She then allowed or maybe showed her TWO daughters how to 'trap' a man - by getting preggers! Lovely!

No wonder so many women write ' where have all the good men gone', 'There's no good men left', 'Men are selfish bastards and only after one thing', etc, etc. The men that these women seek are either 'trapped', 'taken', or seen what awaits them - so deliberately stay single or start running away as fast as they can!

DonQuay1

Dudess wrote: »

Why discredit yourself after making some reasonable points with that silly trolling at the end?

Once again .... a poster on here who want's a Mod's job. Deliberately trying to encourage every minor 'over the top' comment here as trolling seems to be the modus operandi for some that likes to stir the pot to possibly get someone banned!

DonQuay1

firedancer wrote: »

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dudess
My uncle's sexual preference was called into question on ratemyteacher.ie because he was still single at 45ish. He showed them when he later got himself a lady ten years younger and sired three kiddies by her.


crikey who even talks like that ?????
are we talking human beings here or animals ....

Umm ... a lot of words seem to be making a comeback .
Not so long ago - fornication .....

WindSock

DonQuay1 wrote: »

Once again .... a poster on here who want's a Mod's job. Deliberately trying to encourage every minor 'over the top' comment here as trolling seems to be the modus operandi for some that likes to stir the pot to possibly get someone banned!

Er...Dudess was already a mod if here, hardly gunning for reinstatement by pointing out an idiotic **** stirring comment at the end of someones post. Not that its enough to get someone banned either but if it is, its the posters fault not the pointer outer.

Dudess

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

Where did I post a definition of confidence?

Well whatever the term is - when you said it is used as a buzzword to cover up for other attributes. News to me.

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

Like I said earlier:

'Confidence' is just a buzz word for many other things which women are looking for in a man and as confidence is indicative of such things, they will find that attribute attractive -- initially.

What are you basing this on? As I said, confidence can mean happiness in oneself, which therefore radiates outwards, rather than being miserable in oneself and having a persecution complex.

"Confidence" is just an umbrella term for much of what would be considered very taboo ('non-PC' doesn't seem to be being appreciated) for women to just come out with and say that that is what they find attractive in a guy (in today's current climate of the independent woman at least).

Maybe it is sometimes, but why are you claiming it's pretty much the rule? I'm sure you can appreciate women here not liking being told what they think by someone who cannot read their minds. Believing something to be the case or having some experience of it doesn't therefore mean it's a given all the time. Say "non PC" if you want, but I really don't see how political correctness has anything to do with what you're talking about - the phrase is over-used and incorrectly used.

I genuinely do not believe confidence, in and of itself, is seen as attractive by ANY woman. Such women are lying to themselves if they think that it is.

:eek:
You're not psychic. Disbelieve it all you like but you're wrong... I like a guy to be happy in himself but not arrogant - it most certainly does not signify that deep down I like it because it could mean he has lots of money or power or whatever. That is in your head. Lots of guys who are happy in themselves are broke. You have one particular definition of confidence and are not allowing for other ones.

That is unless they have asked some homeless bum out on a date because of the cool and confident way in which the approached them and asked for some loose change one night.

Using unrealistic extremes doesn't make for effective debating. So for a woman not to be shallow/a gold-digger, she has to go out with a homeless guy - as if there's nothing in between him and a rich guy?

Sure, there will be girls pulled because guys acted confident but when the women soon find out the guy's confidence is based on naff all, he will soon be kicked to the curb.

Why does confidence have to be "based on" something?
It's a sense of contentment with oneself, that's all. It doesn't have to be as a result of making lots of money or whatever. Your comments are based on ideas you have, assumptions you make - these are very different to facts.

woodoo wrote: »

I agree with you there. A quiet man is not suddenly going to become a confidant witty lothario just because someone told him he needs to to appeal to women. All men can really do is improve how they look and sharpen up a bit. Their personality isn't going to change. Wit,charm and sociability are either in someone or they are not.

Who says he has to be a witty, charming, outgoing lothario though? A guy can be content with himself and not be all those things.

firedancer wrote: »

crikey who even talks like that ?????:eek:
are we talking human beings here or animals ....

I was joking.

DonQuay1 wrote: »

Once again .... a poster on here who want's a Mod's job. Deliberately trying to encourage every minor 'over the top' comment here as trolling seems to be the modus operandi for some that likes to stir the pot to possibly get someone banned!

And I find trolls and people who post inflammatory stuff always seem to say that! "Wah, wah, they're saying I'm trolling because they don't agree with me!" "Every" minor, over the top comment? Really? That guy was trolling by throwing out blanket insults apropos nothing - and it ruined good points he made prior to it. If I wanted to get him banned (which he wouldn't have anyway) I'd have reported it (which I didn't). He had also posted a load of other inflammatory sh1t prior to it.
I was a mod of AH before; dealing with some of the, ahem, individuals who post here these days? Most certainly not something I'm aiming for!

Daveysil15

Notice how the thread steered towards the men and what makes them attractive? What makes women attractive seems to be a little less ambiguous.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Notice how the thread steered towards the men and what makes them attractive? What makes women attractive seems to be a little less ambiguous.

Then why don't you steer the conversation that way?

I generally like women who are intelligent, reasonably confident, have a good sense of humour (they don't have to be funny, but they have to find my jokes funny... in fact, I'd prefer if they weren't funny), considerate, a bit nerdy, and have pink hair.

Daveysil15

Meh. There's only 2 things I look for in a woman...non smoker, non ugly. Anything after that is a bonus really.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Meh. There's only 2 things I look for in a woman...non smoker, non ugly. Anything after that is a bonus really.

Can I ask why you don't look for more than that?
Would you not like to meet someone you could really make a connection with?

Originally Posted by Abraham Simpson
Oh, son, don't overreach. Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl. I blame myself. I should have had this talk a long time ago.

Daveysil15

Haha yes Abe Simpson is a smart man. Well Obviously a nice personality is important too. But things like confidence, intelligence and ambition are not important traits to me. I don't have a huge list of requirements unlike some.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Haha yes Abe Simpson is a smart man. Well Obviously a nice personality is important too. But things like confidence, intelligence and ambition are not important traits to me. I don't have a huge list of requirements unlike some.

I guess I'm just pickier so, but...

*swishes hair*

...I'm worth it!

:pac:

jaffacakesyum

I'm non-smoker and I'd like to think I'm not ugly but if they were the only two requirements from a man, and he was interested in me, there'd be no chance. I'm not going to be with someone who doesn't seek any sort of personality in a woman and is only after looks.

Picky men ftw :pac: (But not too picky that they don't like me )

Dudess

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Notice how the thread steered towards the men and what makes them attractive? What makes women attractive seems to be a little less ambiguous.

Meh, clutching at straws to find a conspiracy against men. You and others are the ones bringing up the question of what traits are desirable in men - and coming to some rather wacky conclusions and assumptions.
Women here are trying to explain that no, they're not necessarily gold-diggers or looking for an adonis or a really powerful guy. Sigh... damned do, damned don't.

WindSock

The King of Moo wrote: »

have a good sense of humour (they don't have to be funny, but they have to find my jokes funny... in fact, I'd prefer if they weren't funny),

rly? I think this seems to be true for a lot of fellas. Which makes it harder for hilarious people such as myself to hook up, destined to walk forever alone laughing at my own jokes. At least I have my jokes

Daveysil15

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I'm non-smoker and I'd like to think I'm not ugly but if they were the only two requirements from a man, and he was interested in me, there'd be no chance. I'm not going to be with someone who doesn't seek any sort of personality in a woman and is only after looks.

Picky men ftw :pac: (But not too picky that they don't like me )

As I said personality is important too, but at least I'm not been fussy.

nermal15

I thoroughly resent this often spouted notion that women ignore nice guys, are completely shallow and only want rich lads or ones who will treat them like crap. Not all women are like that. I always go for nice guys, in fact I am pretty much exclusively attracted to shy, inexperienced guys and nearly always initiate the first move. That makes me sound like a bit of a sexual predator...maybe I should stop talking.

DonQuay1

WindSock wrote: »

Er...Dudess was already a mod if here, hardly gunning for reinstatement by pointing out an idiotic **** stirring comment at the end of someones post. Not that its enough to get someone banned either but if it is, its the posters fault not the pointer outer.

Fair point. I didn't realise she was un-instated.
However.....
If you want to be a poster .... be a poster.
If you want to be a mod then - be a mod. Mods post too.

But if being a mod is gone - let it go.

WindSock

DonQuay1 wrote: »

Fair point. I didn't realise she was un-instated.
However.....
If you want to be a poster .... be a poster.
If you want to be a mod then - be a mod. Mods post too.

But if being a mod is gone - let it go.

Pointing out someone is trolling by making inflammatory statements is not modding or backseat modding. It's surmising that one is being a troll. Anyone can do it. Try it if you like. It's fun! Only if you're right though and not just being easily dismissive of another's comment.

Dudess

Daveysil15 wrote: »

As I said personality is important too, but at least I'm not been fussy.

Shur some people are fussy - women or men. I don't take it personally or consider it a conspiracy though. Let them fuss away. Personally I just have to like the guy - I don't look for amazing looks or riches etc, if he has these: a bonus. But I would be put off by vanity/flashiness.

nermal15 wrote: »

I thoroughly resent this often spouted notion that women ignore nice guys, are completely shallow and only want rich lads or ones who will treat them like crap.

It's pure vitriol, yet allowed here.

DonQuay1 wrote: »

I didn't realise she was un-instated.
However..... If you want to be a poster .... be a poster.
If you want to be a mod then - be a mod. Mods post too.
But if being a mod is gone - let it go.

I chose to stop modding and it was explained to you very clearly there was nothing mod-ish about what I did - I'm sure you've the comprehensional skills to grasp that.

The King of Moo

WindSock wrote: »

rly? I think this seems to be true for a lot of fellas. Which makes it harder for hilarious people such as myself to hook up, destined to walk forever alone laughing at my own jokes. At least I have my jokes

Well, it's not such a big deal, I was half-messing (only half though!) about not wanting a partner to be funny.
But, if I had to choose between being with someone funnier than me, or with someone who enjoyed my feeble attempts at humour, I'd probably choose the latter. Possibly due to being a little worried about being outshone in that department, I'll readily admit!

Overall though I always appreciate someone who's funny, but maybe a little begrudgingly at times! :pac:

I think I actually put more store in what someone finds funny: it wouldn't matter much if a woman were funny or unfunny if she liked comedy I hated or found dull, or if they didn't seem to have their own individual taste.

Also, a little tip: I know a few guys who don't find women walking the streets laughing at their own jokes too attractive :pac:

WindSock

The King of Moo wrote: »

Also, a little tip: I know a few guys who don't find women walking the streets laughing at their own jokes too attractive :pac:

Whatever, they're just too picky. No wonder they are single.

teednab-el

I'm 27, male and single all my life, never was in a relationship. Never my choice but just haven't met a girl that found me attractive and my lack of confidence really makes me limited along with my other pitfalls. Cant see myself meeting anyone now but I live in hope. It's all I have.

kowloon

teednab-el wrote: »

I'm 27, male and single all my life, never was in a relationship. Never my choice but just haven't met a girl that found me attractive and my lack of confidence really makes me limited along with my other pitfalls. Cant see myself meeting anyone now but I live in hope. It's all I have.

You always have the sweet release of death to look forward to when the hope dries up.

GASMANN

kowloon wrote: »

You always have the sweet release of death to look forward to when the hope dries up.

If there was a double thumbs up thanks you'd get it, took the words out of my mouth

BarackPyjama

nermal15 wrote: »

I thoroughly resent this often spouted notion that women ignore nice guys, are completely shallow and only want rich lads or ones who will treat them like crap.

It's a generalisation alright but it's very often the case. You seem to have your head screwed on mind. Fair play to you.

Ficheall

nermal15 wrote: »

I always go for nice guys, in fact I am pretty much exclusively attracted to shy, inexperienced guys and nearly always initiate the first move.

I'm a nice, shy and inexperienced guy. Just sayin'....

ToddyDoody

Someone like to start the thread married women vs married men? Old women vs old men? Teenage women vs teenage men? etc.

Dudess

BarackPyjama wrote: »

nermal15 wrote: »

I thoroughly resent this often spouted notion that women ignore nice guys, are completely shallow and only want rich lads or ones who will treat them like crap.

It's a generalisation alright but it's very often the case. You seem to have your head screwed on mind. Fair play to you.

Of course it can be the case, just like the way some guys are shallow, yet it still gets thrown out there about all women as if it's the rule. Nermal15 is not unusual.

Daveysil15

Dudess wrote: »

Meh, clutching at straws to find a conspiracy against men. You and others are the ones bringing up the question of what traits are desirable in men - and coming to some rather wacky conclusions and assumptions.
Women here are trying to explain that no, they're not necessarily gold-diggers or looking for an adonis or a really powerful guy. Sigh... damned do, damned don't.

Wow you have a vivid imagination. Who said anything about a conspiracy?