Single men vs Single women

Wattle

rgmmg wrote: »

Is that you Father?

Of course I must be a priest. I mean what other possible explanation can there be?

Mr.Biscuits

Dudess wrote: »

Cherrypicking ftw!

Nice swerve. I didn't post what you said I did and the fact that you can't admit that, tells all, but hey, not to worry, I didn't expect you too.

As for cherry picking, had I responded to every single point that was within the posts I replied to, then I'd still be typing. Although, coming from the user who addressed NONE of the points I put to her, I do think you have some cheek criticizing me for "cherrypicking" .

Anyhoo, for me and many others, confidence simply means being content in oneself rather than being angry and resentful towards an entire gender because of past experiences - or lack thereof.

So anyone who is not confident must have issues with a whole gender??

It does not mean "Oh he's confident, he must be rich/powerful/well endowed" - a rather spiteful and... kinda scary notion to have about those who prefer someone who's happy in their skin rather than being bitter.

Ah, yet more accusations of 'bitterness' - change the record.

Although, you call so many men on this forum 'bitter', so often - that I'd feel left out if you didn't do the same to me.

Look, I believe that women who put confidence top of their list, when they have been asked what attracts them to men, are not just attracted to confidence in and of itself, but more to what confidence is indicative of. It's my opinion, I'm sorry you don't agree, but that is life on internet forums; people post opinions that you won't agree with, perhaps it's time you got used to it, rather than continuously feeling the need to throw out these insults.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

You are describing circumstantial confidence which is different to core confidence. You can be confident without relying on validation from external sources.

Of course, which is why I said 'achieved goals' can be a reason why someone can be confident. Whether the confidence has come from an external source or an internal one makes no difference, as people have reasons that they are confident and it is those (sometimes potential) reasons which women are attracted to, in my view.

In other words: lose the base reasons why you have acquired confidence for long enough and you'll lose the woman that was attracted to you because of it.

You can choose to be confident ..

I don't think a person can choose to be confident to the degree we are discussing. They can be positive but true confidence that they would exude would need to have a basis. Even if it just means his life is not so bad, then that is a reason and one which women of course will find attractive, as a guy seeing his glass half full is going to more attractive than one seeing it half empty. However, this would also be attractive to men, if women had this frame of mind also and so I don't personally believe such things are what women mean when the talk of 'confidence' as if it was, men would also be putting confidence high on their list. So, pointless using an attribute that men would like to see in women as a retort for my point of view.

Also, lack of negative attributes would be just as attractive to women as the presence of positive ones, which is why you will hear women giving a list of things which they DON'T want to see in men (sometimes much longer). Something you will rarely see men do, as the reasons why a woman might lack confidence are just not seen as being anywhere near as unattractive to men as they are to women, from my experience at least. Although, I do think that men say they want a friendly, easy-going girl for reasons that are indicative of a friendly, easy-going women.

That's what confidence is, feeling relaxed, a lack of anxiety, not being stifled, being out of your head focused on your own amusement, not whether you are making a good impression, all it takes to become like that is effort in the beginning to approach despite your fear.

To a degree, yes - but someone who is 'relaxed' or 'lacks anxiety' etc, has good reasons to be like that. These traits in and of themselves are not what is attractive, it's what they are a sign of that is. Again, I am not saying anything is needed to be confident but the evidence, from what I see of it, points to women not just meaning 'mere confidence' when it's the first thing on their list of attractive qualities. There's more to it than that, subconsciously of course.

You can be poor and pull hot women when you are confident, charming with good social skills.

Of course but it is not the confidence which is attractive. It's other factors which an indicative of a man with confidence. Fat short guys with the same level of confidence would do just as well with women if confidence in and of itself was anywhere near as much a turn on as it is regularly touted as being by women, despite the inclusion of other attractive qualities.

If confidence was coming in at the bottom (or even below middle) of most of these polls on this issue, well then I would say that the good looks of men and other factors are just tipping the balance away from the short fat guys in preference of the good looking guys, but that isn't the case as confidence comes in top, in most studies in this area and so I stand firm in my contention that confidence is just 'Shannon Waters' for women looking for good Salmon.

So confidence is a huge factor but there are other factors, you don't need to be rich to get hot women, in not saying it doesn't help but you simply don't need it.

I never said it was needed. It's not all about money but yes, confidence is not really something you would associate with men who are broke. However, confidence is also not something you would associate with the weak either, nor with those with health problems, insecurity issues, emotional problems etc. Men who are doing well in life and tend to be the cream of the crop and so will naturally be the confident ones, which is why women are attracted to them. It all boils down to the same thing: confident men are not confident without good reason and every single reason that a man might be confident in himself, is attractive. If he has no reasons for being confident, then chances are, she will walk and roll her eyes at just why you were so bloody confident.

She is not going to be saying to her mates the next week:

"Remember that really confident funny guy I met last wek. He has no job, lives with his mum, turns out he's a virgin, no skills, no real interests either and when we got mugged on the way home, he started crying - but he is just so confident that I think I'm falling for him".

Dudess

But something you just "believe" because you have that notion and you're angry about something, not based on anything concrete, is not an opinion. An opinion is a perspective that's neither right nor wrong.
You're wrong, no matter what you "believe". It's silly to tell people they feel a certain way when you've no idea.

And you've made it clear you're angry at women because of your personal experiences.

/shrug
Hardly looks like you've a healthy attitude towards them like.

Mr.Biscuits

Dudess wrote: »

But something you just "believe" because you have that notion and you're angry about something, not based on anything concrete, is not an opinion.

Exactly, now you have it.

The above is precisely why you shouldn't keep calling men bitter and angry as much as you do, as your "notion" that they are "angry" at an entire gender, is never based on anything "concrete" (from what I have seen, excluding the rare occasion of some nut who generally goes on to get sitebanned).

You're wrong, no matter what you "believe". It's silly to tell people they feel a certain way when you've no idea.

Says the woman who declares that anyone who lacks confidence must be "angry and resentful" to a every member of the opposite sex.

Seriously, listen to yourself.

And you've made it clear you're angry at women because of your personal experiences.

No I have not, in your head maybe but from reading your posts and seeing how regularly you throw this same insult at men, time and time again, I honestly couldn't take it all that seriously. One has to wonder why you do it so much though. Wouldn't happen to be a case that it is yourself that has issues with men now would it - seen as you can't seem to stand when any post an opinion contrary to yours.

/shrug
Hardly looks like you've a healthy attitude towards them like.

I have a very healthy attitude towards women thank you very much

Dudess

Doesn't look that way. Why then the negative generalisations? The reason I post to these threads - defensiveness because of the vitriol. Wouldn't you? Damn sure you would. Oh but yeah, there aren't man-hating threads on AH. I don't post negative generalisations about all men. It looks like you and others are angry towards all women because of knockbacks, being hurt etc - you've posted stuff indicating such experiences.

But anyhoo, you'll concede anyway that you're wrong - women don't always prefer a man who's content in himself as opposed to a man with a persecution complex (that's what's meant by confidence here) because of it meaning he has something like money on which to base that confidence.
The OP is resentful that he can't get his hole and goes on as if the female world is against him - my point is, if that kind of negativity shines through, it won't help, so perhaps he should work on being happier on himself, which will show in his attitude.

PhlegmyMoses

This idea that most married people\people in long term relationships are unhappy and that only the minority are actually happy seems to be quite prevalent these days, which is a reason why a lot of people prefer the singleton lifestyle.

It seems that people really struggle with the idea of what being in a relationship is and sacrifice and compromise are alien concepts made for weaker people who let others walk all over them. A lot of people seem to expect relationships to be sunshine and lollipops 24/7 and are fundamentally incapable of working through problems with others - everything is the end of the world or they're too busy to bother - rendering them totally incompatible with other people.

The reality is that there are plenty of happy singletons, plenty of happy long-termers and plenty of people happily married. You just need to find what fits and works for you.

Mr.Biscuits

Dudess wrote: »

Doesn't look that way. Why then the negative generalisations? The reason I post to these threads - defensiveness because of the vitriol. Wouldn't you? Damn sure you would.

The forum has moderators, does it not.

I don't post negative generalisations about all men.

And I don't post negative generalisations about all women, yet you have accursed me of doing so on three different threads now. In the case of this thread, I am speaking of very specific women who put an attribute top of a preference list (with regards to attraction) and so again, hardly all women.

It looks likeyou and others are angry towards all women because of knockbacks, being hurt etc - you've posted stuff indicating such experiences.

Sorry, but having read your posts and seen who you threw this particular insult at, I have to question your judgement when it comes to just which users "look like" they are bitter and angry towards women as a gender.

But anyhoo, you'll concede anyway that you're wrong - women don't always prefer a man who's content in himself as opposed to a man with a persecution complex (that's what's meant by confidence here) because of it meaning he has something like money on which to base that confidence.

I never said that women "always preferred" such men nor that when they did it was always to do with 'money'

Your first reply accused me saying something I didn't and you are now doing the very same yet again, which leads me to the conclusion that you are not even reading my posts.

Daveysil15

Dudess wrote: »

Doesn't look that way. Why then the negative generalisations? The reason I post to these threads - defensiveness because of the vitriol. Wouldn't you? Damn sure you would. Oh but yeah, there aren't man-hating threads on AH. I don't post negative generalisations about all men. It looks like you and others are angry towards all women because of knockbacks, being hurt etc - you've posted stuff indicating such experiences.

But anyhoo, you'll concede anyway that you're wrong - women don't always prefer a man who's content in himself as opposed to a man with a persecution complex (that's what's meant by confidence here) because of it meaning he has something like money on which to base that confidence.
The OP is resentful that he can't get his hole and goes on as if the female world is against him - my point is, if that kind of negativity shines through, it won't help, so perhaps he should work on being happier on himself, which will show in his attitude.

Woah woah woah! What makes you think I can't get my hole dudess? Because I said that men have it tougher? Any wonder you're getting so many hateful comments. You keep making stupid assumptions about people you don't even know. Everyone is entitled to an opinion - its just your opinion is considered fact, whereas everyone else's is just a conspiracy theory. Why do you feel the need to make it so personal? I may not agree with your opinions, but doesn't mean I should make assumptions about you as a person. And I am perfectly happy in myself thanks very much.

Dudess

Deny it all you like dudes - there is vitriol posted about women in general here from the same guys over and over, and if you think it's unreasonable of people to object, says more about you.
And again, an opinion as a subjective view, not an assumption, or something you "feel" etc.
Maybe it's how you word your posts so - but they read very much as if you are resentful towards women in general and that we're shallow, gold-diggers, enjoy ridiculing men, etc. And then there are the analyses of womenfolk from OutlawPe... sorry, Mr. Biscuits based not on any research he's done, just on notions in his head. Christ, it's unreasonable to object to that?! Fuk me.

Daveysil15 wrote:

The men are drunken gobsheens who can't talk to women, and the women are stuck up cows who won't give men the time of day. That seems to be the general consensus here.

Doesn't seem to be the general consensus AT ALL. Hardly any insults/generalisations like that get thrown at men here, and the men who throw the above insults at women are a small, if vocal, coterie. Maybe go to different bars because ones where the above crap is prevalent seem like awful places. A bar with a more mature, open-minded crowd perhaps, instead of Coppers and the like.

ntlbell

It's a bit like shouting you bunch of wan-kers to 10 lads with 9 of them ****. Just because one is impotent doesn't mean their not a bunch of ****.

There's the very rare irish female gem, sound, interesting does'n't ramble on about inane bullcrap 24/7 and isn't as insecure as white speccy virgin on the east side of a friday night.

But when you make a genereal comment that's generally true why getting in a little hissy about it.

considering there's about 3 days in a month where a womans body actually functions _normally_ it's no wonder they're MOSTLY psycho's...

Micky Dolenz

Mod

Closed for review. Loads of generalisation BS, flaming and trolling.

Expect bans.