Approaching women in random places

Daveysil15

Just wondering if the guys have ever done this. Have you ever approached women in random places such as on the street or in a shop, and asked them out, or asked for their phone number? Or is that considered a very creepy thing that only American's do? And girls... How would you feel about been approached by a man in Tesco's or some other place that wasn't a bar or club?

filmbuffboy

I think that if there has been mutual eye contact, smiling, general vibes being sent back and forth then go for it.

Otherwise, I'd just hold off because you would probably be interpreted as being a complete and utter nutter!

the keen edge

Don't do it.

At best you'll just get you dreams and confidence shattered; at worst a kick in the balls and a listing on the sex offenders register.

Irish women don't like maverick types.
No, you're better of fapping over them behind a bush, at a remote safe distance with all the rest of us.

Katgurl

I love it, its happened to me multiple times bizarrely enough (I'm no supermodel!) - shops, park, train, bus, asking for directions on the street etc - even if i'm with someone else / 100% not interested its really flattering & it makes the bloke seem very confident (and therefore much more attractive. A bit of conversation is required though, nothing major just a bit of chit-chat, I've been asked a few times if I'm Spanish / Italian so it doesn't have to be groundbreaking conversational skills but the only time a guy walked straight up to me on the street and without even an introduction asked me would I like to go out that night to a gig I was a bit thrown (I actually got confused as to what was going on and thought he was trying to sell me a ticket until he explained he was asking me out on a date). I am fairly smiley and chatty with strangers (male & female) apparently though so perhaps that comes across as inviting, I dunno.

Definitely definitely preferable to a drunken approach IMO because you can actually have a normal conversation in the cold light of day. I have friends however (female) who don't agree with me at all and I get aghast "you met him on a BUS..." reactions.

Edit : btw before I get accused of being Samantha Brick I was making the point it is bizarre because I'm no stunner and think I must just look approachable. Plus, when I say multiple approaches, that is spaced out over a decade. Just wanted to clear that up before any "thinly veiled - oh check me out, i'm so hot" replies.

Siuin

I was once approached on the street to be told that I was a "beautiful orange"

Foreign guys say the darndest things

Jimoslimos

the keen edge wrote: »

Irish women don't like Irish male maverick types.

FYP

Some nationalities can get away with it, don't think it suits Irish guys though. We have our own unique charm!:pac:

Ficheall

Siuin wrote: »

I was once approached on the street to be told that I was a "beautiful orange"

Foreign guys say the darndest things

Perhaps you were wearing too much fake tan?

Siuin

Ficheall wrote: »

Perhaps you were wearing too much fake tan?

No fake tan but I'm a redhead, thank you :P

Ficheall

A redhead, eh? Well, this definitely makes things more interesting.
*dons stalker cap*

Sauve

I think it's a great idea. I'd be chuffed if a guy approached me like that, it shows he has confidence and self-assurance, two traits that I find extremely attractive.
I can see why a lot of Irish guys don't do it though, as previous posters have said, Irish girls tend to find it weird.

OP - go for it, - at the end of the day, do you really want to go out with a girl who's put off by you being forward without half a keg inside you?

eviltwin

Its happened to me twice, once with friends which was fine, once when I was on my own at night and as much as I am sure he was a nice guy I felt very nervous and on edge. So choose your time and place wisely.

the keen edge

Ficheall wrote: »

*dons stalker cap*

*notifies Dublin rape crisis centre*

Old Tom

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Just wondering if the guys have ever done this. Have you ever approached women in random places such as on the street or in a shop, and asked them out, or asked for their phone number? Or is that considered a very creepy thing that only American's do? And girls... How would you feel about been approached by a man in Tesco's or some other place that wasn't a bar or club?

I'd say I've never done that in the pub/club. Random places are the best way to go.
In fact, I've seen this sort of a strategy only in Ireland - "club/pub the ONLY place to approach a female". I got used to it by now, but I understand why there are so many single Irish males...

Andy!!

Siuin wrote: »

I was once approached on the street to be told that I was a "beautiful orange"

Foreign guys say the darndest things

Easy on the fake tan there love!:pac:

Ficheall

the keen edge wrote: »

*notifies Dublin rape crisis centre*

Dublin?? To hell with that then...

Condatis

I've done it. It's no different than meeting somebody anywhere else.

The bus is straightforward enough and I've done that after a chat and having seeing them a few times on previous journeys.

I once dated a girl after she answered my call to Directory Enquiries – meeting her as she left work.

Some years I dated a girl who was busking in Grafton Street. That is the most memorable.

Oh! a hitchhiker once – that lasted a while.

Daveysil15

Interesting responses. I'm glad to see a lot of women would be ok with it. I think women in bars and clubs have more of a guard up and expect to be approached. Plus you have the loud music to contend with. Having said that, its not exactly common in Ireland to go on dates or approach people outside of the pub/club scene. I have noticed I get a different reaction when I approach foreign women in public places. Maybe they're more used to it. I'm not sure

the keen edge

Ficheall wrote: »

Dublin?? To hell with that then...

Tut tut, what kind of a shallow man discriminates against his would be victims based on their geological location.

Ted Bundy in his heyday wouldn't of batted an eyelid at having to travel 1000miles for a date.

Ficheall

the keen edge wrote: »

Tut tut, what kind of a shallow man discriminates against his would be victims based on their geological location.

Ted Bundy in his heyday wouldn't of batted an eyelid at having to travel 1000miles for a date.

The crucial difference between Ted and I, being, of course, that he had a Volkswagen Beetle, whereas I would have to take the bus...

eth0

It is bad form to try this if a girl is sitting on a bench in a park. These usually want to be left in peace

The King of Moo

It depends how you do it really.
First, it helps if you're not seeing the person for the very first time. It's better if it's someone in a ship you go to fairly regularly, for example, and already have some minimal contact with.
Second, if you do it with confidence you'll have a much better chance, and if it doesn't work at least you'll have tried and won't feel too bad about it.

I've actually been considering asking a girl out in a shop lately: I'm just a little hesitant as I'm not sure I want to get into anything at the moment, and it's a place I can't really avoid if she says no. :pac:

Condatis

eth0 wrote: »

It is bad form to try this if a girl is sitting on a bench in a park. These usually want to be left in peace

Not at all. Just say hello; read the body language, it could be fine. Especially it they appear to be relaxed. Much much better than a pub.

Daveysil15

The King of Moo wrote: »

It depends how you do it really.
First, it helps if you're not seeing the person for the very first time. It's better if it's someone in a ship you go to fairly regularly, for example, and already have some minimal contact with.
Second, if you do it with confidence you'll have a much better chance, and if it doesn't work at least you'll have tried and won't feel too bad about it.

I've actually been considering asking a girl out in a shop lately: I'm just a little hesitant as I'm not sure I want to get into anything at the moment, and it's a place I can't really avoid if she says no. :pac:

I'm in a similar situation. I'm thinking of asking out a girl that works in my local Petrol station. It's just it would be a bit awkward if there's a group of people queuing behind me.

The King of Moo

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm in a similar situation. I'm thinking of asking out a girl that works in my local Petrol station. It's just it would be a bit awkward if there's a group of people queuing behind me.

Try finding a quiet time, and just come out and ask her.

See here for some tips .

Condatis

The King of Moo wrote: »

I've actually been considering asking a girl out in a shop lately: I'm just a little hesitant as I'm not sure I want to get into anything at the moment, and it's a place I can't really avoid if she says no. :pac:

Dear me – why would you have to avoid the place if she says no.

Just pass it off lightly and chat as normal when you go in again.

Then – then ask her again. You don't have to start with a 'date' as such. Just suggest a drink after work and leave at that for the first occasion.

The King of Moo

Condatis wrote: »

Dear me – why would you have to avoid the place if she says no.

Just pass it off lightly and chat as normal when you go in again.

Then – then ask her again. You don't have to start with 'date' as such. Just suggest a drink after work and leave at that for the first occasion.

I'd live with the awkwardness if she did say no, I wasn't too serious about that: it wouldn't be such a big deal. I just want to see if I want to do it in the first place. I've recently finished a long-term relationship and I'm not sure I want to start anything now, so it wouldn't be worth asking her out and making things awkward if I'm not going to be bothered about the relationship.

But I'll probably just ask her out one day without thinking, and I'll be okay really with any potential awkwardness. It's actually something I haven't thought about anyway: no point thinking about things going badly: that'd just be self-defeating.

Scanlas The 2nd

Yep I've done it numerous times, IMO if you are weird Irish women find it weird. If you at relaxed and a bit playful they become relaxed for the most part.

Also it feels fukcing amazing when you do it, you are no longer some lemming drifting about. So long as you accept yourself unconditionally as you are a woman thinking you are weird can't hurt you.

Also I bet there are lots of men who think women find it weird who have never even tried it.

KingK

Have done it many times,it's gone well and it's also gone not so well.

If someone say's no you just have to laugh it off and they will usually smile along with you or have a phone in hand ringing the gardai,that's when you need to briskly walk away.

paudgenator

Siuin wrote: »

I was once approached on the street to be told that I was a "beautiful orange"

Foreign guys say the darndest things

Maybe he was admiring your tan

AnonoBoy

As long as you don't do it using those obnoxious Pickup Artist techniques then it's fine.

happened to me recently but unfortunately I just was all embarrassed mumbled something then went to pay for what I went into the shop for he was right behind me . Longest five mins ever mortified.
So my advice is if you are thinking of doing this plan your and their escape route if they say no .
And I'm a woman over 30 should of asked him to marry me

jaffacakesyum

eth0 wrote: »

It is bad form to try this if a girl is sitting on a bench in a park. These usually want to be left in peace

Yes and no.

As another poster said, read body language. You can tell in a minute or two if you're not wanted. In which case just be polite and make your leave.

Some women and men just don't want to be bothered when waiting for the bus or sitting on a bench in a park. Some would love to be chatted up in that way. So go for it but, again just be cautious that some just want to be left in peace.

Daveysil15

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Yes and no.

As another poster said, read body language. You can tell in a minute or two if you're not wanted. In which case just be polite and make your leave.

Some women and men just don't want to be bothered when waiting for the bus or sitting on a bench in a park. Some would love to be chatted up in that way. So go for it but, again just be cautious that some just want to be left in peace.

That's actually very good advice. They say at least 50% of communication is in your body language.

jaffacakesyum

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That's actually very good advice. They say at least 50% of communication is in your body language.

Yup trouble is, a lot of guys (I'm sure women too!) either are terrible at reading body language or else they can read it but just choose to ignore it! Has happened countless times to me.

Feeona

It's also better to think that you're just having a chat with them if you do decide to approach a stranger. There's nothing more off putting for the asker than 'F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, I'm asking a stranger out on a date' going around in your head.

Condatis

Condatis wrote: »

I've done it. It's no different than meeting somebody anywhere else.

The bus is straightforward enough and I've done that after a chat and having seeing them a few times on previous journeys.

I once dated a girl after she answered my call to Directory Enquiries – meeting her as she left work.

Some years I dated a girl who was busking in Grafton Street. That is the most memorable.

Oh! a hitchhiker once – that lasted a while.

Need a date nifty....Call 11-8-50! :cool:

PrincessLola

the keen edge wrote: »

Don't do it.

At best you'll just get you dreams and confidence shattered; at worst a kick in the balls and a listing on the sex offenders register.

Irish women don't like maverick types.
No, you're better of fapping over them behind a bush, at a remote safe distance with all the rest of us.

NOT TRUE.

do it OP. Approaching women at a cafe/shop/museum is much more romantic than a bar.

TeddyTedson

When you say random places are you talking about the likes of a gym or are we talking about a dark alley at midnight?
Because midnight is fairly romantic but in the gym everyone is usually covered in sweat so that would just be weird.

IM0

eth0 wrote: »

It is bad form to try this if a girl is sitting on a bench in a park. These usually want to be left in peace

no its not speak for yourself. just cause you dont like it

steddyeddy

I think the bigger the deal you make out of asking someone out the harder you make it for yourself and the person your interested in. It has happened to me once or twice. Unfortunatly I had a girlfriend at the time but the girl who asked me out was a stunner and Im sorry I wasnt single to tell the truth!

There are one or two girls I know around ucd who I plan to ask out for a drink. We make eye contact and exchange the odd smile a lot so its not like I would be just aproaching them out of the blue. If you like someone who cares wheter people think your strange or not! Just go for it and dont see it as a big deal.

shopaholic01

Ficheall wrote: »

The crucial difference between Ted and I, being, of course, that he had a Volkswagen Beetle, whereas I would have to take the bus...

Yes, it's unlikey you'd get away with loading an unconscious female into the baggage hold of a bus.

IM0

faint heart never won fair maiden

DustyMan

I was in Boots one day and saw a very attractive girl there. I said to myself I'd ask her out. I never do this normally! I had nothing to loose except a bit of pride but a lot to gain! So I waited outside and when she came out I just stopped her and told her I'd seen her inside, that she was very attractive and would she like to go for a drink sometime? She said 'ok'. We both chatted a little more and ended up going out together for a while.
So the moral of the story is, try, what have you got to loose?! A little pride... that's all.

'A lot of things are lost to this world just for the want of asking'.

Lionel Messy

Most Irish women are sound, just don't come on too strong. I have been "hit on" by some right weirdos and it's not nice.

Daveysil15

Leah Wide Bin wrote: »

happened to me recently but unfortunately I just was all embarrassed mumbled something then went to pay for what I went into the shop for he was right behind me . Longest five mins ever mortified.

It was probably even longer for him lol.

ViveLaVie

I's actually happened to me before too, three times to be exact. I ended up getting drinks with two of them. I did find it strange but at the same time I was really flattered. IMO definitely do it, if you can manage to strike up a conversation in a non-creepy way. I find it less weird when foreigners just randomly walk up to you and ask you out but that's only cos Irish men aren't known for their confidence unless they're after a few. If you make eye contact with her and she smiles, go for it! Usually it's really flattering and any time it's happened it's put me in a really good mood all day. I find it less strange if it happens in Dublin too for some reason...men are much more direct up there than down south! Men who are confident are much more attractive btw. It's often been the case that I've thought a lad was only alright only to find him far more attractive once he starts talking cos he's so confident in himself.

tan11ie

I was shopping in Dunne’s last week and a guy walking by with his trolley stopped to tell me I was beautiful & would I fancy a date. I actually didn’t understand what he said so he repeated it again with fellow shoppers listening in.

It takes a lot of courage to approach someone randomly like that and fair play to him, although at the time I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up!! I resembled a beet root

I think it’s worth a shot – nothing ventured nothing gained.

Jesus Wept

Having read threads like this previously, the most frequent female response is along the lines of: Yes I welcome it. It gives me a big ego boost. Scarlet. Should have said yes I suppose but was embarrassed at the time/always say no/seems a bit weird/didn't feel comfortable.

Which leads me to wonder what the point of approaching in this manner from a male prospective is?

Battered Mars Bar

tan11ie wrote: »

I was shopping in Dunne’s last week and a guy walking by with his trolley stopped to tell me I was beautiful & would I fancy a date. I actually didn’t understand what he said so he repeated it again with fellow shoppers listening in.

It takes a lot of courage to approach someone randomly like that and fair play to him, although at the time I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up!! I resembled a beet root

I think it’s worth a shot – nothing ventured nothing gained.

Did ya say yeah or no?

tan11ie

Andy Carroll wrote: »

Having read threads like this previously, the most frequent female response is along the lines of: Yes I welcome it. It gives me a big ego boost. Scarlet. Should have said yes I suppose but was embarrassed at the time/always say no/seems a bit weird/didn't feel comfortable.

Which leads me to wonder what the point of approaching in this manner from a male prospective is?

I wouldn't say all women refuse; I did only because I'm seeing someone at the minute.I would have taken his number otherwise ...he was a fine thing!! Wouldn't happen if I was single.

Jesus Wept

tan11ie wrote: »

I wouldn't say all women refuse; I did only because I'm seeing someone at the minute.I would have taken his number otherwise ...he was a fine thing!! Wouldn't happen if I was single.

I didn't say they all do, I said it's the most common response.
I'm sure it might happen if you were single. :P