Approaching women in random places

tan11ie

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Did ya say yeah or no?

It was a no, If I was single It would have been a big yes!

branbee

This has never happened to me, closest thing to it was a woman running over to me with a piece of paper with a name and number on it saying her friend told her to give this to me after seeing me from the window of the pub they were in. Pretty weird but i was flattered!

Daveysil15

I think location plays a key role. Approaching a woman in a gym for example while she's working out probably isn't a good idea. Perhaps a clothes shop would be better as you could ask a girls advice on something related to clothes or whatever she's looking at. I never use public transport myself but I often see attractive women by themselves waiting at bus stops. If you approached a girl there she'd be less likely to run away as she'd have to wait for her bus.

tan11ie

Andy Carroll wrote: »

I didn't say they all do, I said it's the most common response.
I'm sure it might happen if you were single. :P

I don't think Irish women are used to been approached outside the pub environment but I think times are changing and about time too.

jaffacakesyum

From reading peoples responses on here and other threads, most guys go for the (perfectly polite and acceptable btw) "Hi there. I just noticed you in __ and thought you are very attractive/beautiful. Would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

While there's not much else way of going about it, I think I just get uncomfortable when someone I don't know says I'm beautiful. I'm not good at taking compliments as it is so from strangers that seems a little strong.

Obviously, seeing as you're not gonna know the girl you can't go up and say "Hi you've got a great personality. Wanna date?" :pac: but I think, if possible, it'd make some girls more at ease if you could strike up a quick conversation and then say "hey, you seem really nice. would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

Just my tip, other women may disagree.

steddyeddy

Andy Carroll wrote: »

Having read threads like this previously, the most frequent female response is along the lines of: Yes I welcome it. It gives me a big ego boost. Scarlet. Should have said yes I suppose but was embarrassed at the time/always say no/seems a bit weird/didn't feel comfortable.

Which leads me to wonder what the point of approaching in this manner from a male prospective is?

It really depends on the situation. As I said before I make eye contact with a nice girl in ucd now and again and she throws me a smile. Im not saying she likes me sexually at all or anything like that but it at least shows that she is aproachable.

Even if some girls find it wierd it really wouldnt bother me wheter they do or not.

IM0

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I think location plays a key role. Approaching a woman in a gym for example while she's working out probably isn't a good idea. Perhaps a clothes shop would be better as you could ask a girls advice on something related to clothes or whatever she's looking at. I never use public transport myself but I often see attractive women by themselves waiting at bus stops. If you approached a girl there she'd be less likely to run away as she'd have to wait for her bus.

anyone else find that creepy?

Battered Mars Bar

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Obviously, seeing as you're not gonna know the girl you can't go up and say "Hi you've got a great personality. Wanna date?" :pac: but I think, if possible, it'd make some girls more at ease if you could strike up a quick conversation and then say "hey, you seem really nice. would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

Just my tip, other women may disagree.

Exactly, for a guy to ask a girl out based on looks alone wouldn't be my thing. Prefer an ice breaker, just something witty about whatever is around and then go for it if she seems nice and responds well.

Jesus Wept

DustyMan wrote: »

I was in Boots one day and saw a very attractive girl there. I said to myself I'd ask her out. I never do this normally! I had nothing to loose except a bit of pride but a lot to gain! So I waited outside and when she came out I just stopped her and told her I'd seen her inside, that she was very attractive and would she like to go for a drink sometime? She said 'ok'. We both chatted a little more and ended up going out together for a while.
So the moral of the story is, try, what have you got to loose?! A little pride... that's all.

'A lot of things are lost to this world just for the want of asking'.

tbh I found this a bit creepy too. :P

ViveLaVie

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

From reading peoples responses on here and other threads, most guys go for the (perfectly polite and acceptable btw) "Hi there. I just noticed you in __ and thought you are very attractive/beautiful. Would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

While there's not much else way of going about it, I think I just get uncomfortable when someone I don't know says I'm beautiful. I'm not good at taking compliments as it is so from strangers that seems a little strong.

Obviously, seeing as you're not gonna know the girl you can't go up and say "Hi you've got a great personality. Wanna date?" :pac: but I think, if possible, it'd make some girls more at ease if you could strike up a quick conversation and then say "hey, you seem really nice. would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

Just my tip, other women may disagree.

The experiences I've had haven't really been like that. I think if the lad had said something like that, I would have been a bit more freaked out. Two out of the three times it happened to me it was Irish guys doing the asking. They never referred to how I looked, just struck up a natural enough conversation considering, and then asked for my number. I gave it, because they made a real effort to initiate a conversation. The third guy was American and just straight out said I was cute. He continued to talk to me after saying that for a while though before asking me out. I forgave him more for that opening line purely because he wasn't Irish. I think if someone came up to me at a bus stop and said, 'Hey you're good looking wanna get a drink' I'd be like ehh no weird! However, if we were both standing there waiting and he asked me the time or something and then we got talking and I thought he was nice I'd consider saying yes. I think making it seem natural is the most important thing really.

Daveysil15

Andy Carroll wrote: »

tbh I found this a bit creepy too. :P

Unfortunately its this creep attitude that makes it difficult for people to meet anyone.

Jesus Wept

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Unfortunately its this creep attitude that makes it difficult for people to meet anyone.

How? He could have just approached her? Was the waiting outside bit integral? If anything it reduced the change of success.

Daveysil15

Andy Carroll wrote: »

How? He could have just approached her? Was the waiting outside bit integral? If anything it reduced the change of success.

Didn't you read the rest of his post? She said yes and they ended up going out together. So it obviously wasn't creepy from her point of view. Fair play to him I say.

mummymoo

that used to happen alot when i was in a relationship but now that im single it never happens -_- didnt mind it just that awkward 'errr im not single' moment haha ...typical

kitty9

i stopped a girl on grafton st.

she screamed

mdebets

A friend of mine did it once. Now he has to stay at least 50m away from her at all times.

It probably wasn't a good idea, to approach her in the Phoenix park after dark, just walking home from Hurling practice and coming out of the bushes from a shortcut he took.

kitty9

id love to do this in Dundrum :P

DustyMan

Andy Carroll wrote: »

tbh I found this a bit creepy too. :P

Can not understand this comment. Bit strange tbh. But every one to their own I guess. (Now if it was 3 am in the morning and I appeared out of a side lane with a long coat on et ceterea , n asked her out, now that would be a bit creepy!).

Wasn't a thing creepy about it. It was a spur of the moment decision and it worked out well.
Didn't want to ask her in from of other shoppers i.e in the shop. We were in a public place. She was flattered and seemed happy. If she had of said no I would have just said that's ok and went about my business albeit with a little bit of pride dented but so what!
We went out together and it was good while it lasted. There is a LOT more creepy things going on than just sincerely complimenting a girl and asking her out for a date!!!

eirn

I think it's lovely when a guy approaches you randomly! Maybe we're just a bit conditioned into thinking that our social lives must revolve around the pub. Like, it is a bit weird that a man striking up a conversation with a woman in a context other than a pub/nightclub is worthy of note. Makes me think I'll be single forever cause we're all too afraid to talk to each other:(

Jesus Wept

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Didn't you read the rest of his post? She said yes and they ended up going out together.

Yes I read his post and well done to him, no doubt.
Just because she said yes and they went out, doesn't mean the approach was beyond reproach. See what I did there?

Results based thinking for the lose. I am talking long term, not a sample of one.

DustyMan

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Unfortunately its this creep attitude that makes it difficult for people to meet anyone.

So true!!!

DustyMan

eirn wrote: »

I think it's lovely when a guy approaches you randomly! Maybe we're just a bit conditioned into thinking that our social lives must revolve around the pub. Like, it is a bit weird that a man striking up a conversation with a woman in a context other than a pub/nightclub is worthy of note. Makes me think I'll be single forever cause we're all too afraid to talk to each other:(

Very true. And people think it's perfectly acceptable to drink 10 pints and then go over and try to chat up a girl and ask her out! :rolleyes:

Jesus Wept

DustyMan wrote: »

Can not understand this comment. Bit strange tbh. But every one to their own I guess. (Now if it was 3 am in the morning and I appeared out of a side lane with a long coat on et ceterea , n asked her out, now that would be a bit creepy!).

Wasn't a thing creepy about it. It was a spur of the moment decision and it worked out well.
Didn't want to ask her in from of other shoppers i.e in the shop. We were in a public place. She was flattered and seemed happy. If she had of said no I would have just said that's ok and went about my business albeit with a little bit of pride dented but so what!
We went out together and it was good while it lasted. There is a LOT more creepy things going on than just sincerely complimenting a girl and asking her out for a date!!!

I wasn't knocking you I was saying generally speaking I imagine most people would be better approaching as soon as they got the inclination to do so rather than going outside and waiting for a time period.

Oh hi, I was in Dunnes earlier and noticed you working on the till so I hung around outside till 9pm to ask you out, etc.

If you never intend to make another approach in your life then continue to ignore what I am saying. If you do, then consider that it might not be the best and could be improved upon. Simples.

DustyMan

Andy Carroll wrote: »

Yes I read his post and well done to him, no doubt.
Just because she said yes and they went out, doesn't mean the approach was beyond reproach. See what I did there?

Results based thinking for the lose. I am talking long term, not a sample of one.

DustyMan

Andy Carroll wrote: »

I wasn't knocking you I was saying generally speaking I imagine most people would be better approaching as soon as they got the inclination to do so rather than going outside and waiting for a time period.

Oh hi, I was in Dunnes earlier and noticed you working on the till so I hung around outside till 9pm to ask you out, etc.

If you never intend to make another approach in your life then continue to ignore what I am saying. If you do, then consider that it might not be the best and could be improved upon. Simples.

I waited outside for about 5 minutes. Don't think I would have waited longer..... I'm not ignoring what your saying. Your not really making sense that's all. I was just commenting on a spur of the moment decision I made in the context of what this thread is about. If you think what I did was 'a bit creepy'...... well whatever. :-)

Jesus Wept

DustyMan wrote: »

Never mind, I didn't mean to trouble you. I hope she is the one.

Scanlas The 2nd

DustyMan wrote: »

Andy Carroll wrote: »

tbh I found this a bit creepy too. :P

Can not understand this comment. Bit strange tbh. But every one to their own I guess. (Now if it was 3 am in the morning and I appeared out of a side lane with a long coat on et ceterea , n asked her out, now that would be a bit creepy!).

Wasn't a thing creepy about it. It was a spur of the moment decision and it worked out well.
Didn't want to ask her in from of other shoppers i.e in the shop. We were in a public place. She was flattered and seemed happy. If she had of said no I would have just said that's ok and went about my business albeit with a little bit of pride dented but so what!
We went out together and it was good while it lasted. There is a LOT more creepy things going on than just sincerely complimenting a girl and asking her out for a date!!!

My instincts tell me this over eagerness of lads to make creepy jokes and jokes about chloroform and restraint orders etc reflects their insecurities with women.

I mean how many times have we all heard these same jokes, perhaps they were funny the first couple of times, but we've heard them over and over and over again. I think this shows how uncomfortable this subject is for many men as they use "humour" to avoid hitting a nerve.

DustyMan

Andy Carroll wrote: »

Never mind, I didn't mean to trouble you. I hope she is the one.

As P. Flynn would say, "Try it sometime".

P.s I'm sure you won't or you don't need to! Which is all good too!!

Jesus Wept

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

My instincts tell me this over eagerness of lads to make creepy jokes and jokes about chloroform and restraint orders etc reflects their insecurities with women.

I mean how many times have we all heard these same jokes, perhaps they were funny the first couple of times, but we've heard them over and over and over again. I think this shows how uncomfortable this subject is for many men as they use "humour" to avoid hitting a nerve.

I was expecting your arrival. I'd say a big bat type symbol goes up across the city to alert you anytime a thread that you can talk about PUA arises.

Your instincts are incorrect, that wasn't my motive whatsoever.

SoulTrader

I did it once, and only once, to a girl I knew at work. She worked on another floor to me and I'd only spoken to her 3 or 4 times before. I plucked up the courage to ask her out one Friday evening. She said yes and long story short, we're married now .

So, similar to what somebody else said, you have a lot to gain and if you can get over your ego, not that much to lose.

kitty9

SoulTrader wrote: »

I did it once, and only once, to a girl I knew at work. She worked on another floor to me and I'd only spoken to her 3 or 4 times before. I plucked up the courage to ask her out one Friday evening. She said yes and long story short, we're married now .

So, similar to what somebody else said, you have a lot to gain and if you can get over your ego, not that much to lose.

how long did ye wait before ye "made love/smash her back doors in"?

DustyMan

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

My instincts tell me this over eagerness of lads to make creepy jokes and jokes about chloroform and restraint orders etc reflects their insecurities with women.

I mean how many times have we all heard these same jokes, perhaps they were funny the first couple of times, but we've heard them over and over and over again. I think this shows how uncomfortable this subject is for many men as they use "humour" to avoid hitting a nerve.

Ah, just to clarify I was NOT making a 'creepy joke and joke about chloroform and restraint orders etc'. I was trying to point out the difference between creepy and not creepy. I VERY much respect women btw as I'm certain the very VAST majority of men do too. I have to add, in my opinion, that unfortunately you seem terribly sensitive to an innocent explanation of my experience.

SoulTrader

kitty9 wrote: »

how long did ye wait before ye "made love/smash her back doors in"?

:eek:

Delancey

Judging by the number of posts in this thread it would seem the T.V. advertisement for Impulse Body Spray had a far greater effect than I had imagined.

Owen_S

I'd love to give this a go, but due to a court order I can't

IM0

Owen_S wrote: »

I'd love to give this a go, but due to a court order I can't

its not for guys like you

mrsdewinter

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

My instincts tell me this over eagerness of lads to make creepy jokes and jokes about chloroform and restraint orders etc reflects their insecurities with women.

I mean how many times have we all heard these same jokes, perhaps they were funny the first couple of times, but we've heard them over and over and over again. I think this shows how uncomfortable this subject is for many men as they use "humour" to avoid hitting a nerve.

I agree.

Guy asks girl out for drink; girl says no - full stop. Nothing to see here...

Men of After Hours: do it!

Daveysil15

SoulTrader wrote: »

I did it once, and only once, to a girl I knew at work. She worked on another floor to me and I'd only spoken to her 3 or 4 times before. I plucked up the courage to ask her out one Friday evening. She said yes and long story short, we're married now .

So, similar to what somebody else said, you have a lot to gain and if you can get over your ego, not that much to lose.

Fair play to ye. Actually most couples I know have met through work. I don't know any couples that have met in a bar or night club.

Ficheall

I presume "Are you single?", or somesuch, is a reasonable question for that initial conversation, but is one allowed to drop in a subtle "By the way, do you smoke?"* or does that have to wait until the "date" to surface?



*Obviously there are plenty of other factors, but smoking seemed to be the most common/harmless/potential deal-breaker that sprang to mind...

firedancer

I wouldn't mind being approached in a random place



long as it's not from behind

saa

When I was 13 I made eye contact with a boy in a toy shop and started talking to me and he said why don't we meet outside the pool on Saturday at 1.

I told my best friend and we attempted to put on foundation and waited there until him and his friend went past on skateboards, stopped and said "who are you" and went off laughing. So I shall never put my little heart out there like that again, if I was single guys could ask me out its a lot nicer than the "yawannagohomeandridemawilly" move they usually do.

Daveysil15

saa wrote: »

"yawannagohomeandridemawilly" QUOTE]

Who the hell says that?

Intensive Care Bear

I think its only considered creepy if you are ugly.

karaokeman

This thread springs to mind, and NO its not another thread from AH.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056568575

Seachmall

I did it once unsuccessfully.

I wasn't embarrassed by it at all, but I think she was embarrassed enough for the both of us.

1210m5g wrote: »

I think its only considered creepy if you are ugly.

Ain't that the truth.

Daveysil15

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CrQQGMvA8g

saa

Daveysil15 wrote: »

saa wrote: »

"yawannagohomeandridemawilly" QUOTE]

Who the hell says that?

"yawannagohomeandridemawilly move"

It's clearly a description of a pulling move.

Daveysil15

Domo230 wrote: »

Good looking man approaches - "aww how romantic/confident"

Ugly man approaches - "What a creep"

Sad but true.

Festy

1210m5g wrote: »

I think its only considered creepy if you are ugly.

Or if you're average as well.

Scanlas The 2nd

Festy wrote: »

1210m5g wrote: »

I think its only considered creepy if you are ugly.

Or if you're average as well.

Maybe, or maybe she can tell you don't think you deserve her and is subsequently turned off.