Funny Graffiti in the Jacks

Stiffler2

Share with us the toilet graffiti you've come across in your life. I'll kick start it, here are a few :



Here I ly in stinky vapour
because some a$$hole stole the toilet paper
Should I ly or shall I linger
Or shall I be forced to use my finger

============================

on the skirting board / bottom of door.

Closer
Closer
Closer

( Congratulations, you're now $hitting on the floor )


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What poems / stories / graffiti ( call it whatever you want ) have you come across, please do share

chin_grin

Stiffler, your sense of humour is sh!t.

Sergeant

Flush twice, it's a long way to the canteen.

Ghandee

I was using a toilet in a bar in Belfast once, that had tiny writing barely legible, written near the bottom of the toilet door, immediately in front of me.

When I lowered myself down to read it, it had the following sentence written in black marker.


"You are now shiiteing at an angle of 45 degrees"

kfallon

Here I sit, brokenhearted
Came to shit but only farted

Ghandee

kfallon wrote: »

Here I sit, brokenhearted
Came to shit but only farted

A fart so great it shook the bowl
And burnt the hairs from off my hole.



Ahhhh, Just finished it!

rainbowdrop

There's no use standing on the toilet seat,
The crabs in here jump 10ft high,
If you think that's high,
Go to <insert name>'s house,
The bastards fly!!

Fromthetrees

'The phantom ****er strikes again'. (and there's poo poo all over the wall ffs.)
'Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you and watching you right now'.
'I always enjoyed being abused as it made me feel wanted'.

don't shoot the messenger

John Doe1

"Im the cutest boy in town" dont know why I find it funny:)

FatherLen

an oldie but a good one.


some come here to shit and stink,
some come here to sit and think,
I come here to scratch my balls
and write graffiti on the walls.

frag420

Toilet tennis look left

Toilet tennis look right

Ghandee

This one will remain a favourite of mine for a long time!

Crooked Jack

I was in a hostel in amsterdam and instead of a door the toilet had this wooden screen that you pulled across. Not only did it not lock but it only started at your knees and went as far as your neck, so you were practically looking at the people walkin past. Anyway, someone had written on the wooden screen "****ting here is like **** in front of your mother...impossible." It was very true.

I also saw some great Pogues lyrics on a toilet wall once

"A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a **** house wall
So before I go I'll add my regal scrawl
To s how hte world I'm left with sweet **** all."

Nothingbetter2d

i once saw on a condom machine "insert baby for refund"

then on the door next to it, it said "if baby doesn't fit in the condom machine please remember to flush"

jasonb

Saw this once in the Gents in college :

Anxious?
Worried?
Pregnant?


You're in the wrong jacks!



J.

shancoduff

Recently saw "I f*** arses" in a toilet

A tribute to this excellent scene:

Kristopherus

On the back of the door:

"Why emigrate? You can make a load here !!!"

athlonelad

Before Smoking Ban:
Sign in toilet said:
"Please refrain from throwing Cigarette butts in the urinal"

Someone else decided to write under it
"They get wet and soggy and are hard to light"

upandcumming

Someone in college labelled everything in the disabled cubicle. From supports, to the fuse, to the tap and cistern he had it all.

skinny90

Toilet in the college has "pull here for an arts degree " on the toilet roll rack

LuckyFinigan

On one of the toilet paper dispenders in collage it says pull here for business degree.

Plazaman

Seen on a cubicle doors with a space at the bottom :
BEWARE - DWARF LIMBO DANCERS PATROL HERE

And this one made me chuckle in a pub toilet :
I F**KED YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT
Underneath was written in different handwriting :
DAD GO HOME, YOU'RE DRUNK!

Hamhide

I saw a funny one in the gents in swords pavillions,it said
''bring back the glory hole gay b&sterds!!''

the little holes were blocked up.always makes me giggle

Stiffler2

Ghandee wrote: »

This one will remain a favourite of mine for a long time!

Oh Man - that is a good one

Stanley Devastating

"To do is to be"-Socrates.
"To be is to do"-Plato.
"Do be do be do"-Frank Sinatra.

bobmalooka

'I dont remember eating corn.'

Elmer Blooker

written on wall at urinals:
"all the big knobs hang out here"

Xithus

I worked in the Sq Tallaght for a bit. The public toilets there usually had some interesting artwork.

Lionel Messy

"I got blown here in '69"

Never let the truth get in the way of an AH post.

aujopimur

My mother made me a queer.
Response,
If I gave her the wool would she knit one for me.

CruelCoin

"If black is beautiful, then i just shat a masterpiece!"

wilkie2006

mfceiling

Anyone interested in time travel?....meet me here last Tuesday at 2 o'clock!!

Eggonyerface

"Agricultural is to science as special is to Olympics"

Caraville

Not a toilet sign per se, but about toilet-related activities- in our local pool when we were younger it read:

"Do not pee in our pool- we do not swim in your toilet".

I remember never really understanding what the hell that was supposed to mean but looking back now I realise it was just a really crap joke.

languagenerd

In college:

-"If you have a Polish boyfriend, make sure that he doesn't have a wife hiding in Poland". Thought it was oddly specific :P

-"NEVER FORGET WE ARE ALL BORN FREE"
(different handwriting) "...and naked"

-My favourite though, there was an ad on the toilet doors for a new yoga club in the gym, with testimonials from people who'd done it. Someone went around adding "It really improved my sex life!" - <senior lecturer's name> to the end of it. They wrote it on so many of those posters, my friend thought it was part of the ad :P

Oh, and was in a museum in Belgium where the staff had stuck poems in French about how to leave a toilet clean on the back of the door.

fryup

on a condom dispenser

this is the worst chewing gum i've ever tasted

electrobanana

On the very bottom of a toilet door










Beware of gay limbo dancers

BigBrownBear

FREE NICKY KELLY

with every pack of Rice Krispies

fryup

or Free Nicky Kelly

*underneath*

f*ck Nicky Kelly free a nipper instead

Witcher

Cubicle door in college has a monkey's face drawn on it that looks straight at you as you're doing your business...it has a speech bubble that says 'Having a sh1t eh?':pac:

AnonoBoy

On a contraceptive ad poster in the Gents toilets in Hogan's:

"You have 100 million chances of getting pregnant every time you have sex."

Under it someone had written: "I don't!"

maximoose

Saw this a while back and found it quite funny

LittleBook

From the "olden days" when you had to pay to use the public toilets:

Here I sit all broken-hearted,
Paid 10p and only farted.

Pub I used to go to in France had a black wall in each cubicle and actually kept chalk in there so people could do this. One I saw there was:

To be is to do - Socrates
To do is to be - Sartre
Do be do be do - Sinatra

jefreywithonef

Sofaspud

I took a couple of pictures of some strange toilet graffiti recently just cos I either found it funny, or was bored while crapping.

The first is from University of Glamorgan in Cardiff, second if Captain America's in Cork.

rusty_racer94

frag420 wrote: »

Toilet tennis look left

Toilet tennis look right

On the door it says ''Wanna play toilet tennis?, Look right! ''. When you look right it says. ''look left'' and so on.

gimmebroadband

Always make sure there's bog-roll first!

Pushtrak

Good ol' google images...

http://tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/tallskinnykiwi/toilettengrafiti-1.jpg
http://www.funtoxin.com/cosmos/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/22-595092432.jpg

Ghandee

Filling station in Carlow.

You can shake it in the air, or beat it off the wall, but its not until its back in your pants will the last drops fall!

Creative writing at its best

wilkie2006

Life's tough being a penis; your neighbour's a bollocks, your best mate's a c**t and every time you get excited you throw up and then faint.