In labour and Bored!!!!!!

Coal1978

3cm to 7cm in less than 40 mins, now he decides to get a wiggle on when I want a nap. It's all the laughing at these funny posts. Cheers guys

antodeco

Maybe whoever guesses the correct time your child is born, gets to have their real name as the child's name?

Nothingbetter2d

antodeco wrote: »

Maybe whoever guesses the correct time your child is born, gets to have their real name as the child's name?

Cletus if its a boy

Brandine if its a girl

time born 3:22pm today

Plazaman

4cm in 40 mins? Jaysus he'll be out in time for supper, then you can freshen up and hit out for a bit of Friday night clubbing. Leave the kid with the Hubby as he'll get complacent and you'll be doing all the work for the next 18years.

Presume it's been videoed? Put up the YouTube link when uploaded and we'll run a competition for the best commentary.

Coal1978

antodeco wrote: »

Maybe whoever guesses the correct time your child is born, gets to have their real name as the child's name?

Haha ok, well I'm progressing quite quickly and it's starting to get painful so it could be anytime.

GTE

A bit of suction never goes a miss.

This must be why he's smiling.

Plazaman

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

Cletus if its a boy

Brandine if its a girl

time born 3:22pm today

Coal1978 wrote: »

Haha ok, well I'm progressing quite quickly and it's starting to get painful so it could be anytime.

Ooohh, insider information, I'll bring the time back to 1.37pm.

Names : Boy - Chuck, Girl - Norris

Nothingbetter2d

show this to your husband op so he knows what to do

Coal1978

Ok I have 15:22 and 13:27 guessed when this will be over any advances on that

Ghandee

Heres a motivational song for you OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YleXlgHI1oM

Rosy Posy

I'd say if you're still typing you've a ways to go yet...

We did 'the deed' in early labour with my last baby and it was a much faster labour...

I also did some knitting and baking- I found the baking took my mind off the waiting and we all had something nice to go with our champagne when the babby was out...

loud singing is also good in the later stages!

Coal1978

On YouTube women are having orgasims during labour!!!! I have the sweats and cramps, it's not fair

Basq

Coal1978 wrote: »

On YouTube women are having orgasims during labour!!!! I have the sweats and cramps, it's not fair

Been trying 28 years to find the G-Spot.. kids today are finding it on their way out of the womb! :mad:

Immaculate Pasta

Will this be our first Boards baby?

*wub*

Group hug lads :cool:

Nothingbetter2d

Basq wrote: »

Been trying 28 years to find the G-Spot.. kids today are finding it on their way out of the womb! :mad:

your wife/partner must be well pleased with your performance in bed

CardBordWindow

Coal1978 wrote: »

Ok I have 15:22 and 13:27 guessed when this will be over any advances on that

04.23 tonight.

Nothing like a good long labour!

smash

Basq wrote: »

Been trying 28 years to find the G-Spot.. kids today are finding it on their way out of the womb! :mad:

I'm pretty sure you hit it on the way out too.

Micky Dolenz

Anything shifting?

mackeire

bbk wrote: »

A bit of suction never goes a miss.

This must be why he's smiling.

This is probably the wrong time to be pleasuring herself!

Coal1978

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Anything shifting?

Pains coming fast and hard

FatherLen

good luck op. hope all goes well!

Abi

Coal1978 wrote: »

Ok I have 15:22 and 13:27 guessed when this will be over any advances on that

Is it your first baby? how far apart are the contractions?

Plazaman

Coal1978 wrote: »

On YouTube women are having orgasims during labour!!!! I have the sweats and cramps, it's not fair

Ah yes, sweats, cramps, pooing yerself, episiotomies, after birth and placentas, general burstings and pains..... childbirth is disgusting, beautiful but disgusting.

Ye got a raw deal indeed ladies. Laying eggs, now that's the way to go. The ornithological species are laughing at ye I'd say.

On the plus side ye never have to experience the pain of a kick to the underside of the testicles. Bowling Ball through a hosepipe type of pain there.

Darkglasses

16:32 is my guess. Boy - Spartacus Ramses. Girl - Nefertiri Xenobia.

Kovu

2.53 pm! And you should call her Karen/him Brian :rolleyes:

Coal1978

I'm ready to push, this is the scary part

Abi

Is it your first?


Edit: who the fark posts while squeezing a kid out.. I'm fúcking disappointed in myself.

stupidusername

Coal1978 wrote: »

I'm ready to push, this is the scary part

I think you're meant to wait as long as you can..int it? though if you're looking for instructions, here may not be the best place.

Geansai Rua

I'm clenching reading this thread...

Good luck!

Battered Mars Bar

Coal1978 wrote: »

I'm ready to push, this is the scary part

Pics or GTFO

Basq

smash wrote: »

I'm pretty sure you hit it on the way out too.

Judging by the fact my mother is constantly disappointed in me, I doubt it!

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Pics or GTFO

And tell the same thing to the kid!

CreepingDeath

Abi wrote: »

Edit: who the fark posts while squeezing a kid out..

Tree-hugging vegetarian hippies, who have a frying pan simmering to have a placenta stir-fry afterwards.

branbee

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Coal1978 wrote: »

I'm ready to push, this is the scary part

Pics or GTFO

And to think i was gonna say you in the posters you look out for thread!

Abi

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Tree-hugging vegetarian hippies, who have a frying pan simmering to have a placenta stir-fry afterwards.

Right.. well thats my fill of AH for the day


/vomits lunch

CruelCoin

antodeco wrote: »

Imagine how big your lady garden entrance will be for a few weeks after the birth. For your husband it'll be like opening the window and f**king the night!

Any thread left on the tires? or is it like throwing a hot-dog down a hallway?

Rosy Posy

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Tree-hugging vegetarian hippies, who have a frying pan simmering to have a placenta stir-fry afterwards.

ha ha...I was all for eating my placenta...until I smelled it....:eek:

now I settle for eating the fruit from the tree its planted under

Rosy Posy

CruelCoin wrote: »

Any thread left on the tires? or is it like throwing a hot-dog down a hallway?

throwing a sausage up O'Connell Street...

Sarky

I would have given my left nut to be named Hades. Freaking awesome name.

Immaculate Pasta

Uncle Immaculate Pasta.

I must admit I do like the sound of that :cool:

Nothingbetter2d

Rosy Posy wrote: »

throwing a sausage up O'Connell Street...

op's husband will feel like the dublin spire fcuking the sky after she is done popping out one

clappyhappy

Id say dougie howser jnr has arrived in this world,. No comments for a while,

mattjack

Coal1978 wrote: »

branbee wrote: »

Nope! But I'm fine, it the most natural feeling, I'm in it now, no going back. My husband is a Surgeon so I'm sure I'll be fine

A surgeon ? Who'd have thought things were that bad in the HSE .. now tree surgeons are delivering babies.

Plazaman

clappyhappy wrote: »

Id say dougie howser jnr has arrived in this world,. No comments for a while,

And women say they're great at multi-tasking :rolleyes:

*hides behind couch

Feeona

Coal1978 wrote: »

Ok I have 15:22 and 13:27 guessed when this will be over any advances on that

13.45

Paparazzo

Dean09 wrote: »

Push

She's smoking. a. fag.

Coal1978

13:05pm weighing 6 lbs 3oz, Christopher Robin was born. Lol he is a little ugly old man...... Just like his dad lol.

a fat guy

dibs on 14:50.

It shall be named "Cock Gobbler".

Geansai Rua

Coal1978 wrote: »

13:05pm weighing 6 lbs 3oz, Christopher Robin was born. Lol he is a little ugly old man...... Just like his dad lol.

Da boii Christy...
Congrats

stupidusername

Coal1978 wrote: »

13:05pm weighing 6 lbs 3oz, Christopher Robin was born. Lol he is a little ugly old man...... Just like his dad lol.

Congratulations. now we need pics.

SouthTippBass

Well done!