Are you ready?

LETHAL LADY

Personally speaking I always plan ahead for intruders and such types. Hanging from the bedpost on a shoestring is a baseball bat, just in case in a deep sleep I am remotely able to defend myself when an intruder enters.

At my front and back door are used golf clubs hidden in strategic places just in case our home faces an attack.

I also keep a large arsenal of knives in a knife drawer for cooking mainly but if ever came the need to defend myself I know where they are.

So are you ready for an attack?

eth0

Ready for a 'wee session'

Jaysus this thread will be lovely. 100s of people boasting about all the shoite they have that supposed to masquerade as a 'weapon' because its so hard to get a gun in this country.

El Guapo!

If I kept a bat beside the bed id beat my gf to death while I was sleep walking.

Joe10000

The missus looks after all that but thanks for asking.

LETHAL LADY

Dean09 wrote: »

If I kept a bat beside the bed id beat my gf to death while I was sleep walking.

Scary stuff is this summit you want to do or is it summit out of your control?

DEFTLEFTHAND

Glock pistol and a an AR15, you enter my property uninvited you leave in a body bag. :pac:

cocoshovel

I have the alarm set at night, if thats good enough?

El Guapo!

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Dean09 wrote: »

If I kept a bat beside the bed id beat my gf to death while I was sleep walking.

Scary stuff is this summit you want to do or is it summit out of your control?

No but I have done weird stuff while sleep walking before so I wouldn't rule it out!

Battered Mars Bar

If it happens at night I'd hit the trip switch, only I would know it's location. The house in darkness. I don the night vision goggles. Dressed in my black long johns I stealthily observe my intruder...

Fr_Dougal

I have a gun.

deco nate

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Glock pistol and a an AR15, you enter my property uninvited you leave in a body bag. :pac:

airsoft,eh?

Pottler

Yes, yes I am. Unfortunatly I will probably either be fast asleep or out when they strike, but if I'm not, well, God help them. Sods law says I'll be browsing the frozen goods aisle in Tesco as they climb through a window and nick my TV...

TehDagsBass

Knives in a knife drawer you say? For cooking you say?

Dear, you could have a feckin' bazooka that fires angry, capable monkeys with poisonous snakes in each hand, at the end of the day if a gang of male intruders comes in, no knife or club is going to do much to stop you being chain banged and your possessions taken. A comparatively weak woman turning up with a weapon is going to result in that weapon being used on her.

admiralofthefleet

i press clear, set, full on the alarm when im going to bed. does me

flutterflye

Yeah I have a metal pole behind my bedside locker.
I like the feeling of security, but in actual fact I would most likely cling to the bedcovers and scream - not ninja attack the perpetrator like I like to think.

Pottler

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

If it happens at night I'd hit the trip switch, only I would know it's location. The house in darkness. I don the night vision goggles. Dressed in my black long johns I stealthily observe my intruder...

just choked a bit on beer laughing at that. I may sue..:D

superstoner90

I have a D battery in a sock. Best weapon ever!

javagal

We have a German shepherd who i call snuggley face but that's Mr. Snuggley face to strangers.

TehDagsBass

deco nate wrote: »

airsoft,eh?

Yep, they'd still leave in a body bag having laughed themselves to death at the poser with the toy gun shooting plastic pellets at them though.

SafeSurfer

Dogs, sleeping at the foot of the stairs. Big unfriendly dogs who could crush a scrotum in milliseconds.





I sleep soundly.

pragmatic1

Whatever comes to hand be it knives, bats, poker and tongs from the fire. Anyone that comes into my house trying to do harm is going to leave in a stretcher.

IM0

some would say you are lethal....lady

DEFTLEFTHAND

deco nate wrote: »

airsoft,eh?

No real stuff, I got into target shooting a while back and joined my local gun club in Roscrea.

senorwipesalot

Im alright thanks,I got an Ak47 off a sexy orange skinned lady.

LETHAL LADY

Domo230 wrote: »

Would the burglar not just take the bat off you?

Then things are even worse.

Best protection my house has is that 24/7 there is always someone awake downstairs. Who is going to try burgle the house with lights/tv on when there are other quiet houses nearby.

I concur. Forgot to mention I have two dogs and an alarm.

Battered Mars Bar

flutterflye wrote: »

I would most likely cling to the bedcovers and scream

deco nate

TehDagsBass wrote: »

Yep, they'd still leave in a body bag having laughed themselves to death at the poser with the toy gun shooting plastic pellets at them though.

you forgot,in full camo. ; )
oh an face paint. : )

TehDagsBass

Here's my stock of well disguised weapons, no intruder would ever suspect I'm so heavily armed.

Just a plain plastic cup...OR IS IT?!

He'll think I'm just dying to quench my thirst...OR WILL HE!?

When I reach for my tissues, he'll think I'm crying from fear...OH REALLY!?

Safe to say yes, I am prepared :cool:

outtagetme

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Personally speaking I always plan ahead for intruders and such types. Hanging from the bedpost on a shoestring is a baseball bat, just in case in a deep sleep I am remotely able to defend myself when an intruder enters.

At my front and back door are used golf clubs hidden in strategic places just in case our home faces an attack.

I also keep a large arsenal of knives in a knife drawer for cooking mainly but if ever came the need to defend myself I know where they are.

So are you ready for an attack?

"our" home?
Get someone else in the friggin house to do the defending.

Recessionbust

I just leave the Mother in law downstairs she's a weapon in herself

deco nate

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

No real stuff, I got into target shooting a while back and joined my local gun club in Roscrea.

really?ar15??

LETHAL LADY

TehDagsBass wrote: »

Here's my stock of well disguised weapons, no intruder would ever suspect I'm so heavily armed.

Just a plain plastic cup...OR IS IT?!

He'll think I'm just dying to quench my thirst...OR WILL HE!?

When I reach for my tissues, he'll think I'm crying from fear...OH REALLY!?

Safe to say yes, I am prepared :cool:

Ya would never suspect a thing, well done.

LETHAL LADY

Recessionbust wrote: »

I just leave the Mother in law downstairs she's a weapon in herself

Cliches work well also.:p

longhalloween

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

If it happens at night I'd hit the trip switch, only I would know it's location. The house in darkness. I don the night vision goggles. Dressed in my black long johns I stealthily observe my intruder...

reminds me of this

deco nate

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

No real stuff, I got into target shooting a while back and joined my local gun club in Roscrea.

i thought that if you are in a gun club like this,
that they have to be stored there?
No?

I know you can own a clock if in a club,but has to be stored thier.think about 20 glocks that are legal.
Very hard to get one now(thats legal,i mean)

tippspur

If they come into my house looking for money I'd give them a hand.

IM0

yes Im ready. I have a sign on my window saying "come and get it bitch! one of us isnt going to survive this and Im absolutely fine with that. bring it on, and you better bring your A game :cool:"

DEFTLEFTHAND

deco nate wrote: »

really?ar15??

Oh yes we boast quite a selection, I trust you won't report us?

Pottler

I love all the "really trying to be tough" replies to threads like these. I know we all think we'd batter the intruders with our socks/batteries, guns, knives and bats, but at the end of the day, unless you are used to fighting(and most people aren't), maybe the best idea is to get a dog/scream like a little girl and hope they run. Most burglars are pussies and bullies(my wife lived on her own before we hooked up and she was forever being burgled by scumbags) but there are some who are fairly hardcore. A guard I know well said -"shoot them, then fire a warning shot into the ceiling-the csi crowd have a hard time figuring out which came first":DAr15, he he....didn't know they did them in .22

TehDagsBass

LETHAL LADY

Here's a pro-tip: You say you have your knives in the knife drawer, so if an unarmed intruder gets in, where is he going to go straight to? That's right, the knife drawer. So, how should you combat this? Well, you put the knives in the spoon drawer and the spoons in the knife drawer. Then, when it comes time for reaching for weapons, that round of knifey-spooney will be yours.

TheStook

I don't have a weapon as such but I do have an arsenal of jokes that I will pull out in an encounter with the burglar, hopefully it will lighten the tension and eventually lead to an awkward conversation between us, He will then tell me that this is his first time and he is very sorry and I'll tell him it's ok etc and that I understand his financial struggle. Eventually after a cuppa and a sandwich I'll ask him to leave and give him 50 quid for his troubles to which he will reply "Thanks".

deco nate

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Oh yes we boast quite a selection, I trust you won't report us?

yep,i got your back,bro...
Deco drives down to roscrea : )

Archeron

I have a giraffe in the kitchen. The burglars confusion gives me ample time to fetch my tarantula launcher.

starlit

No, sorry I am in stitches...wine in hand....

outtagetme

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Personally speaking I always plan ahead for intruders and such types. Hanging from the bedpost on a shoestring is a baseball bat, just in case in a deep sleep I am remotely able to defend myself when an intruder enters.

At my front and back door are used golf clubs hidden in strategic places just in case our home faces an attack.

I also keep a large arsenal of knives in a knife drawer for cooking mainly but if ever came the need to defend myself I know where they are.

So are you ready for an attack?

As a serial intruder I would never enter a home without the means to protect myself from baseball bats, knives and golf clubs wielded by sleep groggy women. I usually bring along a sawn-off shotgun, brass-knuckles to knock the crap out of someone in one blow, and sometimes but not always I have a can of pepper spray. A blast of that and you're finished. I then proceed to beat my stupefied captive until she tells me where the valuables are. Further violence is optional depending on my mood.
I tend to avoid houses that have a dog.

IM0

Pottler wrote: »

I love all the "really trying to be tough" replies to threads like these. I know we all think we'd batter the intruders with our socks/batteries, guns, knives and bats, but at the end of the day, unless you are used to fighting(and most people aren't), maybe the best idea is to get a dog/scream like a little girl and hope they run. Most burglars are pussies and bullies(my wife lived on her own before we hooked up and she was forever being burgled by scumbags) but there are some who are fairly hardcore. A guard I know well said -"shoot them, then fire a warning shot into the ceiling-the csi crowd have a hard time figuring out which came first":DAr15, he he....didn't know they did them in .22

you thought I was joking didnt you?

I wasnt. they would actually be doing me a favour

a fat guy

I have a few things, wooden swords, tonfa, nunchucks, plenty of knives, etc.

But the first thing I'll always reach for is the machete hidden between the bed and the night-stand.

LETHAL LADY

TehDagsBass wrote: »

LETHAL LADY

Here's a pro-tip: You say you have your knives in the knife drawer, so if an unarmed intruder gets in, where is he going to go straight to? That's right, the knife drawer. So, how should you combat this? Well, you put the knives in the spoon drawer and the spoons in the knife drawer. Then, when it comes time for reaching for weapons, that round of knifey-spooney will be yours.

Sounds complicated but me likey.

earpiece

Jesus, you're all féckin' mad...... I don't even lock my door at night, anyone could just walk in!

Pottler

outtagetme wrote: »

As a serial intruder I would never enter a home without the means to protect myself from baseball bats, knives and golf clubs wielded by sleep groggy women. I usually bring along a sawn-off shotgun, brass-knuckles to knock the crap out of someone in one blow, and sometimes but not always I have a can of pepper spray. A blast of that and you're finished. I then proceed to beat my stupefied captive until she tells me where the valuables are. Further violence is optional depending on my mood.
I tend to avoid houses that have a dog.

please come and burgle me, we are made for each other. Don't mind the dog, he's a dote.

TheStook

earpiece wrote: »

Jesus, you're all féckin' mad...... I don't even lock my door at night, anyone could just walk in!

Wait, whose mad again?