Alcoholic Flatmate

Wowzer!

So my housemate has become ever more reliant on the booze over the last few months. Started when he was sneaking out for a cheeky pint on nightshifts a couple of months ago. Since then he has been drinking 5 out of 7 nights a week including cans in his room when he thinks I don't know. Now he is either hungover or drunk and the moodswings are intolerable. The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. I'm stuck on a lease with him for another couple of months and just don't know what to do. Sure my Landlord doesn't give a damn as long as they get their rent but I can't put up with this for much longer. Has anyone any experience like this? I know Alcoholism is serious but he just can't recognise it and somehow thinks I'm the one with the problem because I'm concerned for him. At a loss for what I can do. Can anyone help?

IM0

Wowzer! wrote: »

So my housemate has become ever more reliant on the booze over the last few months. Started when he was sneaking out for a cheeky pint on nightshifts a couple of months ago. Since then he has been drinking 5 out of 7 nights a week including cans in his room when he thinks I don't know. Now he is either hungover or drunk and the moodswings are intolerable. The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. I'm stuck on a lease with him for another couple of months and just don't know what to do. Sure my Landlord doesn't give a damn as long as they get their rent but I can't put up with this for much longer. Has anyone any experience like this? I know Alcoholism is serious but he just can't recognise it and somehow thinks I'm the one with the problem because I'm concerned for him. At a loss for what I can do. Can anyone help?

suffer until the lease is up. not much else you can do. avoid him and leave him to it unless he is not pulling his weight around the demestic side of things. look on the bright side, at least its only 3 months instead of 7!

Avox

Buy him a few cans of Bulmers Pear and he'll be in the toilet for so long he won't drink again..

DEFTLEFTHAND

If his problem is directly affecting you then you have reasonable means to question him on it. If you can go about your business without it having a meaningful impact on your life then I'd leave it be, we all choose our own paths in life only the person themselves decides which route is for them. Alcoholics don't listen..

Wowzer!

I wish it was that simple. I have been stressed as f*** about this and really can't take it anymore. Love my flat but just can't take his abuse anymore. Feel abit like his mammy as I do everything to keep the place in order whilst living with a sulky drunk that speaks to himself and then gives out all the time because of his moodswings.

Pushtrak

Try to keep your spirits up for the remainder of your time.

Senna

Wowzer! wrote: »

So my housemate has become ever more reliant on the booze over the last few months. Started when he was sneaking out for a cheeky pint on nightshifts a couple of months ago. Since then he has been drinking 5 out of 7 nights a week including cans in his room when he thinks I don't know. Now he is either hungover or drunk and the moodswings are intolerable. The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. I'm stuck on a lease with him for another couple of months and just don't know what to do. Sure my Landlord doesn't give a damn as long as they get their rent but I can't put up with this for much longer. Has anyone any experience like this? I know Alcoholism is serious but he just can't recognise it and somehow thinks I'm the one with the problem because I'm concerned for him. At a loss for what I can do. Can anyone help?

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change, yey
Na na na, na na na, na na na na oh ho

oppenheimer1

Wowzer! wrote: »

So my housemate has become ever more reliant on the booze over the last few months. Started when he was sneaking out for a cheeky pint on nightshifts a couple of months ago. Since then he has been drinking 5 out of 7 nights a week including cans in his room when he thinks I don't know. Now he is either hungover or drunk and the moodswings are intolerable. The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. I'm stuck on a lease with him for another couple of months and just don't know what to do. Sure my Landlord doesn't give a damn as long as they get their rent but I can't put up with this for much longer. Has anyone any experience like this? I know Alcoholism is serious but he just can't recognise it and somehow thinks I'm the one with the problem because I'm concerned for him. At a loss for what I can do. Can anyone help?

If its really bad I'd take the hit on the deposit and go. If its not too bad and you can manage it for a few months, just avoid him in the house, then find somewhere else.

As for trying to help him, you've done your bit. You can't help those that don't want to be helped.

starbelgrade

Pushtrak wrote: »

Try to keep your spirits up for the remainder of your time.

'Spirits' is an odd choice of words considering the situation!

IM0

Wowzer! wrote: »

I wish it was that simple. I have been stressed as f*** about this and really can't take it anymore. Love my flat but just can't take his abuse anymore. Feel abit like his mammy as I do everything to keep the place in order whilst living with a sulky drunk that speaks to himself and then gives out all the time because of his moodswings.

buy him a prostitute. problem solved. *dusts hands*

Pushtrak

starbelgrade wrote: »

'Spirits' is an odd choice of words considering the situation!

Welcome to After Hours? It's a tonic.

SteelyDanJalapeno

Have an other drink op, relax

DEFTLEFTHAND

Wowzer! wrote: »

I wish it was that simple. I have been stressed as f*** about this and really can't take it anymore. Love my flat but just can't take his abuse anymore. Feel abit like his mammy as I do everything to keep the place in order whilst living with a sulky drunk that speaks to himself and then gives out all the time because of his moodswings.

Well then his problem is affecting you and that's not on. You'll have to confront him strongly on his issue and threaten him with taking further action. If he still persists then you should seek further action by contacting (his) family members and making them aware of the situation.

starbelgrade

Pushtrak wrote: »

Welcome to After Hours? It's a tonic.

After 19,000 posts, it's nice to be finally welcomed to After Hours.

KTRIC

14 posts and not one of ya suggested blasting him with piss !!!! i'm disappointed AH, i really am

Hank Scorpio

stop being so nosy

Battered Mars Bar

Sometimes people reach for the bottle when all they really want is a hug OP.

IM0

starbelgrade wrote: »

After 19,000 posts, it's nice to be finally welcomed to After Hours.

who said that? *looks around*

Wowzer!

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

If its really bad I'd take the hit on the deposit and go. If its not too bad and you can manage it for a few months, just avoid him in the house, then find somewhere else.

As for trying to help him, you've done your bit. You can't help those that don't want to be helped.

I don't think I should leave the place I love just because of him. Hard to avoid him in a 2 bedroom flat. I am concerned as I hate to see people in a bad way. But I refuse to sit in silence because he hates the sound of my voice*



*his words exactly

Hank Scorpio

Wowzer! wrote: »

I don't think I should leave the place I love just because of him. Hard to avoid him in a 2 bedroom flat. I am concerned as I hate to see people in a bad way. But I refuse to sit in silence because he hates the sound of my voice*



*his words exactly

have you proposed to him yet?

Wowzer!

nuxxx wrote: »

have you proposed to him yet?

The only thing I would propose to him is a swift box to the chops

Battered Mars Bar

Wowzer! wrote: »

But I refuse to sit in silence because he hates the sound of my voice*



*his words exactly

People who say "wowzer" are kind of irritating tbh. Yer the perfect odd couple I'd say. Make reality show vids and put it on youtube.

im invisible

KTRIC wrote: »

14 posts and not one of ya suggested blasting him with piss !!!! i'm disappointed AH, i really am

if he's such an alchoholic, he has probably blasted himself with piss on occasion

Pushtrak

I'm guessing he wouldn't entertain any thought of moving out. Would he have anywhere he could go? And if he was to go, would you be able to get someone else in to pay his part of the rent?

grindle

Blast him with pissed.

On a serious note, I was that guy, but jovial, rather than a cunnt. You can't change him, and he doesn't want to yet.
He needs to roam the realms of drunkenness, you need to be away from that, so just get out and leave him make the mess he needs to make.
And this newfound fondness for alcohol doesn't automatically make him an alcoholic, it could just be that alcohol is what he's currently medicating himself with.
If he was fond of weed to numb feelings, he'd use that; benzos, he'd use those. He's probably not anywhere near any boundary that says "Alco", he just needs to get near a boundary that says "You're being an absolute shiit and it's turning people who you love against you".
That isn't alcoholism.
That's being a dick.

Edit:can't believe somebody beat me to piss.
Long posts for the loss.

Panthro

Become a proper thieving dickhead of a housemate and he might get fed up and move out, problem solved!

Wowzer!

Pushtrak wrote: »

I'm guessing he wouldn't entertain any thought of moving out. Would he have anywhere he could go? And if he was to go, would you be able to get someone else in to pay his part of the rent?

I would gladly cover it if I could. The problem is he won't move. Landlord said it's not his problem and has a no sublet clause

Wowzer!

grindle wrote: »

Blast him with pissed.

On a serious note, I was that guy, but jovial, rather than a cunnt. You can't change him, and he doesn't want to yet.
He needs to roam the realms of drunkenness, you need to be away from that, so just get out and leave him make the mess he needs to make.
And this newfound fondness for alcohol doesn't automatically make him an alcoholic, it could just be that alcohol is what he's currently medicating himself with.
If he was fond of weed to numb feelings, he'd use that; benzos, he'd use those. He's probably not anywhere near any boundary that says "Alco", he just needs to get near a boundary that says "You're being an absolute shiit and it's turning people who you love against you".
That isn't alcoholism.
That's being a dick.

Edit:can't believe somebody beat me to piss.
Long posts for the loss.

Totally agree. He was grand before the booze became a crutch.

Wowzer!

Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

People who say "wowzer" are kind of irritating tbh. Yer the perfect odd couple I'd say. Make reality show vids and put it on youtube.

I have a vid of him shouting at the microwave thinking its his ex. Showed it to him and he denied it happened. I would put it up but I don't think it would help my situation. It is funny, but not if you have to live with it.

KTRIC

Give him a burger when he's drunk and let him eat it off the ground. Thats classy :rolleyes:

grindle

Wowzer! wrote: »

I have a vid of him shouting at the microwave thinking its his ex. Showed it to him and he denied it happened. I would put it up but I don't think it would help my situation. It is funny, but not if you have to live with it.

Just PM it to us. You can trust us.

JonathanAnon

Wowzer! wrote: »

I have a vid of him shouting at the microwave thinking its his ex. Showed it to him and he denied it happened. I would put it up but I don't think it would help my situation. It is funny, but not if you have to live with it.

maybe he was going out with the microwave? Have you not considered that..

BornToKill

Wowzer! wrote: »

The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. ... Can anyone help?

Talk less and be less annoying? Does that help?

JupiterKid

OP I'm guessing that you and your flatmate are both in your 20s.

It sounds like your flatmate is developing a drink problem, but (and I know from experience as I am a "sober" alcoholic) it may take many more years before he really hits rock bottom - which often tends to happen in the 30s and 40s rather than the 20s - and finally gets help. Drink problems often start in the 20s but the amount of socialising and partying done by many people in their 20s can hide the problem drinkers. I know, because I was there myself.

The thing is, when your friends all start to settle down and you find you're the only one up for going out on the tear, and/or doing a lot of boozing at home and getting totally wasted at social events when everyone else is just merry, then if you take a good hard look at yourself you should realise that something is amiss. It could well take your flatmate years before he does that.

If he doesn't want any help - or if he denies he has a problem with the booze - then there's little else you can do but sit it out until your lease is up. Or if the situation is really bad - up sticks and leave ASAP. It isn't fair that you have to put up with his abuse and rotten hangover moods.

redzerologhlen

KTRIC wrote: »

14 posts and not one of ya suggested blasting him with piss !!!! i'm disappointed AH, i really am

Well feck it, I was looking forward to getting 5000 thanks and all

the_syco

As he doesn't seem to remember much, tell him that drink is bad for him, the work of the devil, etc, etc. Some of it will seep into his subconscious and he may start to drink less.

Otherwise, wait till he passes out to the point that you can't wake him up, call the ambulance, pay the €100 ambulance call-out fee, and get him brought into the hospital. Perhaps waking up in hospital, and/or the bill he gets for being in said hospital may make him quit drinking as hard?

deco nate

so.op just cos its your turn to buy the beers,you post here!
:pac:ya tight fooker

Spread

Lighten up OP! You've only got a few months of a lease left. Surely a great chance to get around a lady to move into her gaff (temporarily). Don't forget to bring the rabbit!

ANXIOUS

Wowzer! wrote: »

So my housemate has become ever more reliant on the booze over the last few months. Started when he was sneaking out for a cheeky pint on nightshifts a couple of months ago. Since then he has been drinking 5 out of 7 nights a week including cans in his room when he thinks I don't know. Now he is either hungover or drunk and the moodswings are intolerable. The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. I'm stuck on a lease with him for another couple of months and just don't know what to do. Sure my Landlord doesn't give a damn as long as they get their rent but I can't put up with this for much longer. Has anyone any experience like this? I know Alcoholism is serious but he just can't recognise it and somehow thinks I'm the one with the problem because I'm concerned for him. At a loss for what I can do. Can anyone help?

a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.

tightropetom

We had a problem with an antisocial flatmate a few years back - we asked our landlord for help and his suggestion was that we write to him to opt out of the current lease contract, she would be the only name left on it and would be unable to pay the full rent of 1200 or whatever it was. She would therefore have to move out, upon which we would re-sign a lease with the landlord. Worked a treat.

Other than that, you could just stick out the 2 months and try it at that stage. When signing a new lease, the landlord might not want a drunk/alcoholic type living there and might offer it to you (+any suggestion for someone to share!).

As for the alcohol side of things, are you friends with any of his friends/family? Are they aware of how bad things are? They might be able to help him with that side of things.

tightropetom

the_syco wrote: »

Otherwise, wait till he passes out to the point that you can't wake him up, call the ambulance, pay the €100 ambulance call-out fee, and get him brought into the hospital. Perhaps waking up in hospital, and/or the bill he gets for being in said hospital may make him quit drinking as hard?

Great, waste the ambulance service's time and make the A&E staff even busier than they already are. :mad: :mad: He'll be grateful you care and they'll be grateful for having even more ****e to deal with.

cocoshovel

Empty all his beer bottles and replace the liquid with jeyes fluid......what? Illegal you say?

To be fair, his apparent alcoholism or drinking habits aren't really your business... but living with the crap that it entails is. You just need to draw lines that he cannot cross, even when pissed off his head, and weather it out....

Or try to explain to your landlord how intolerable it is for you there, and try to get out of your lease. If it was me, I'd probably forget my deposit and just get out while I was still sane.

kincsem

One of these
1) have a drinking contest
2) go to the cinema
3) go on a holiday
4) organise a prayer meeting

zenno

Wowzer! wrote: »

So my housemate has become ever more reliant on the booze over the last few months. Started when he was sneaking out for a cheeky pint on nightshifts a couple of months ago. Since then he has been drinking 5 out of 7 nights a week including cans in his room when he thinks I don't know. Now he is either hungover or drunk and the moodswings are intolerable. The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. I'm stuck on a lease with him for another couple of months and just don't know what to do. Sure my Landlord doesn't give a damn as long as they get their rent but I can't put up with this for much longer. Has anyone any experience like this? I know Alcoholism is serious but he just can't recognise it and somehow thinks I'm the one with the problem because I'm concerned for him. At a loss for what I can do. Can anyone help?

Well you are at least trying to explain to him the problem as most people would just move out immediately or say nothing. Maybe the guy has problems but if he does not listen to you as a concerned person then just ignore him till you can get out of there. My brother around 8 months ago had a problem with a person like this and he just phoned the landlord and explained that he can't take the drunk stuff anymore and the landlord texted the other tenant and said he was selling the house so he gave him a weeks notice for him to move out.

danslevent

Does he have any friends or someone closer to him you could mention your concerns to? And I think if you wanted more serious answers you maybe should have gone to personal issues.

But as above posters have said, he is only going to get better if he wants to. Alcoholism is great like that...:/ :S

ogriofa

Wowzer! wrote: »

So my housemate has become ever more reliant on the booze over the last few months. Started when he was sneaking out for a cheeky pint on nightshifts a couple of months ago. Since then he has been drinking 5 out of 7 nights a week including cans in his room when he thinks I don't know. Now he is either hungover or drunk and the moodswings are intolerable. The other day he lost it with me because apparently I talk too much and am annoying. I'm stuck on a lease with him for another couple of months and just don't know what to do. Sure my Landlord doesn't give a damn as long as they get their rent but I can't put up with this for much longer. Has anyone any experience like this? I know Alcoholism is serious but he just can't recognise it and somehow thinks I'm the one with the problem because I'm concerned for him. At a loss for what I can do. Can anyone help?

Do you realllly love your apartment that much? I wouldn't try so hard to stay another year. If there's nothing you can do about the lease, are you gonna be able to get rid of him when its up?
I know its not fair, but I wouldn't be killing myself to live there. The apt might be great, but if you're getting a bad deal with the flatmate and the atmosphere is crappola...

Hope you come up with a plan and get sorted soon

Edit: do stick it out till the end of this lease

saa

OP stick it out, I was renting a room from a vile landlord before, I got bronchitis from the mould in the room and once I showed him to doctors letter he went crazy he started accusing me of telling lies. It was bad enough that even before this he was coming down to the kitchen at any time of the day if he heard me just to "talk"/watch what you were doing in HIS house, so this middle aged man got pretty frustrated that this student just wanted to make her dinner and not talk every single time I went into the kicthen.. so anyway pair all that weirdness with the blow up it was bad.

I left without my deposit and it was the worst mistake I could of made it wasnt worth losing 300 euro, I should of blanked him out and lived out of my room. I think if you're close you should address his drinking if not leave it until you're packed and he's sober, if not try and contact a family member or very close friend of his and tell them how bad things have got if its appropriate.

kylith

I'd have a chat with the Citizens Advice if I were you. There should be some get-out clause if you're living conditions are intolerable, which they sound. Continue videoing any aggressive behaviour to bolster your case

Sky King

Buy him 6 cans of Karpackie.

Once he drinks those he will want to kill himself.

Repeat the process until he does.

a fat guy

I'm just putting this out there...

There IS only a certain amount of alcohol that the human body can handle before it gives up.

Just saying...

Not advocating anything...

Certainly not advising you to help him drink himself to death...

Yep.