4 yrs old boyfriend/girlfriend talk

Lisha

HI,

PLease tell me if I am over reacting?

My son is 4.5 and so will be starting primary school in sept.
He is in playschool now and so we know the majority of his class which is great.
At parties and so on Ive gotten to know some of then Mom's fairly well.
But I'm getting totally fed up of one mother constantly saying your boy and my girl will def be married, they aer mad about each other, she said he's her boyfriend and so on. It's constant.

I just hate boyf/girlf talk at such an early age/ I',e tried to make it clear but the msg is not getting accross to the mother. Ive said to my son that they are alll just friends and that I dont want any boyf/girlf talk. but thats pointless if the talkcontinues from the girl.
Im not a prude but FFs they are 4 and 5 years of age, it just feels like they are being given his idea that is IMHO too soon for them

Should I get over it or do I need to confront it?

edellc

I think you need to confront this, it is sending the wrong signal to your child and as your child it is your duty to speak up for him

Tell her that you do not appreciate her telling your son that he and her daughter are a couple nor do you think it is healthy to implant something like a bf/gf relationship into such young minds and it is not something that you want your child to have to deal with at such a young age, if she chooses to do that with her child that is one thing but inflicting this on other is not on

so what if you piss her off at least you get rid of her childish behaviour, silly bloody woman, I really hate uneducated chav idiots like that

Daffodil.d

i think you are over reacting. i remember those jokes made to me at a young age and it had no negative affects.
My daughter, totally from her own mind jokes that x is ys girlfriend in school. she's 4 and a half. We just laugh it off. She gets it from Barbie being Kens girlfriend etc.. Also I don't think it is a stereotypical "chav " type thing to say. It is an innocent thing. Maybe the other Mam is insecure and that's her jokey thing to get conversation goin.:-)

CrazyRabbit

To a 4 year old, a boyfriend/girlfriend is just someone that you are really good friends with and like to be around. There is nothing more, and it is therefore harmless.

It's not like they are naming their future kids or something!

How Strange

I think you're over reacting just a bit. If you do as a previous poster advises and confront the mother you'll come across as slightly deranged. It's banter on the mothers part, nothing more. Even without this mother and child you'd find your son saying such and such is his girlfriend. Its a part of their little society.

My son is 15 months and I've heard this already!

Hannibal Smith

It would annoy me, but I don't think I would say anything. My son has 2 bestfriends from creche that come over to play some days, one is a girl and one is a boy. Never have any of us ever hinted that the girl would marry either of our boys (or that the two boys would marry each other for that matter )...to be fair, I'm more hoping for a Dawson's Creek type setting where the three of them grow up the best of friends, I also wouldn't mind the creek and the boat!

Anyhooo....:o...maybe just say something like, ah sure they've their whole lives ahead of them and plenty more people to meet! :P:D

pickarooney

My 4.5 year old is practically married already, to listen to him go on about his girlfriend. He has fairly detailed notions about where they'll live and what jobs they'll do and all the rest. The little one is the same apparently. It's just sweet and innocent, I'm not sure how you could get wound up about it, unless the mother keeps banging on about it, but the same would apply for any subject, sure.

Morag

Honestly the next time she says it smile and say "isn't it a bit presumptive, sure for all we know they could both turn out to be gay".

Big Bag of Chips

I think you're over reacting. I have 2 in school. One has a gf. They're 6, will be getting married when they are in secondary school and him, his wife and his babies are all living with us.

It's not "unhealthy" thinking or talk at this age. Because they don't know what it is. I think it is MORE unhealthy to insist to your child that there's to be no bf/gf talk. He could grow up thinking there's something wrong with it! Let him develop his own opinions naturally.. My lad is in Senior Infants. I'm guessing by the time he's half way through 1st class girls will be "stupid and ugly" and he "won't ever get married".

My friend's little fella is in playschool. He comes home at least once a week "married" to someone different!

We're neither uneducated, nor chavs!

Lisha

Thanks for all the replies,

whats really bothering me is that it is being led totally by the mother. It is not coming from the children.

For example, to kids on trampoline, 'go on girl child, grab your boyfriend and make him kiss you'

That to me is a bit unacceptable. (Frankly it reminded me of the grabbing scenes in My big fat gypsy wedding) (Possibly I need to stop watching crap tv)

If it was just from the kids that would be fine.

I dont think I ll say much simply as I dont think she will listen, and I would be afraid she would see it as an affront on her child. Anyway I think in a year or two he will be allergic to girls going by my friends kids. (for a while anyway:P)

thank again for your opinions

edellc

it is harmless if it is coming from the kids but I understood your post completely and I understand the type of woman who does such a thing and doesnt know when to stop with it, your little lad will probably be allergic in a year or so like you said but it doesnt make it any easier having to listen to this chav going on

for the other posters I do understand it is cute when your little one talks about his or her boyfriend/girlfriend but its not so cute when you have a mother going on and on and on and forcing an issue that shouldnt be one and yes it is chav idiots that do this, i've witnessed it and if like one or two posters have suggested it is something that you do to your and others kids then im afraid to say you are a chav time to look in the mirror and see if you like who you see

best of luck with it and hope you can block it out

January

edellc, please refrain from calling other posters names. It's personal abuse and against the forum charter.

edellc

it was a bit of banter January, i know what the charter says, but it was banter pure and simple, was not intended to offend (was going to do smiley face with sticking out tongue but wont for fear of lack of sense of humour )

peace and love all x

Ben Moore

I remember meeting one of my montessori school mates when we were in our twenties and we both looked at each other and instantly reminded ourselves we were boyfriend & girlfriend in the early seventies. This had consisted of holding hands and walking around the playground.
In my opinion, it is a harmless and natural association especially for younger siblings in the family as the older ones enter their teens and begin to form relationships.