Thieving flatmate

Mickey H

smash wrote: »

OP, have you considered cumming on her toothbrush?

No point, she'll never swallow that.

Boscoirl wrote: »

Is putting them on a cucumber the female equivalent of a posh ****?

Yes, yes it is.

Dimithy

Use the condoms first, she probably wouldn't steal them then.
And if you ever get lucky, you can rinse them out.

Tesco Massacre

What does she need condoms for?

She doesn't even have a penis.

3rdDegree

Wait a second here. You have no proof it's her stealing your stuff. It could be one of the guys she brings home with her.

YFlyer

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I also got a bottle of vodka a few days later left in my room by the vodka fairy.

That was sound of him. Did you share it?

Mickey H

3rdDegree wrote: »

Wait a second here. You have no proof it's her stealing your stuff. It could be one of the guys she brings home with her.

Touché. Although, he didn't mention her bringing home guys. Or, did I read that wrong?

ladysarastro

Canis Lupus wrote: »

If only there was a way to put chilli oil in them.

Ya can't put chilli oil in them but ya can use a pin....
Then in 9 months she'll have to move out and if your lucky she'll ask you to be godfather;)

Tesco Massacre

coonecb1 wrote: »

What is it with women being slobs these days? Whatever happened to the fairer sex etc

The fairer sex thing is bull. Women can be just as slovenly as men.


*flashback of college housemate leaving used sanitary towel on bathroom floor*

grindle

Tesco Massacre wrote: »

*flashback of college housemate leaving used sanitary towel on bathroom floor*

Could've been a jam sandwich.

Did you even bother to check, before slandering this poor, hungry girl?

wyndham

Pinprick in the condoms obv. Revenge is a dish best served with lashings of std and a side order of unplanned pregnancy.

omgitsthelazor

butter the floor, it will solve all your problems

Tesco Massacre

grindle wrote: »

Could've been a jam sandwich.

Did you even bother to check, before slandering this poor, hungry girl?

It sure as hell didn't taste like jam.

IM0

omgitsthelazor wrote: »

butter the floor, it will solve all your problems

seen it before but I still lol'd as much as the first time I saw it

class!

FanadMan

Watch a few episodes of Tom & Jerry - soooooo many good trap designs in there. Same with Roadrunner - but have to remember to order all your stuff from Acme

IM0

FanadMan wrote: »

Watch a few episodes of Tom & Jerry - soooooo many good trap designs in there. Same with Roadrunner - but have to remember to order all your stuff from Acme

and when you accidentally run off a cliff, just keep running, dont EVER look down

hairyprincess

smash wrote: »

puddinboxxx wrote: »

I reckon her nickers smell like shreks armpit

You live with hairyprincess?

HEY!!! :[

Mickey H

hairyprincess wrote: »

HEY!!! :[

**hugs**

LH Pathe

wyndham wrote: »

Pinprick in the condoms obv. Revenge is a dish best served with lashings of std

that'd make her a claptomaniac

crapmanjoe

puddinboxxx wrote: »

-she aint that hot
-items stolen have been money and condoms
-traps are knowin exactly how much money was in the jar that money was stolen from and strategically placing stuff in my room to know if she was in there while I was gone

Ugly girls need luvin to. Let her have her condoms.

puddinboxxx

I know for a fact that its her and nobody else
I woulda gave her some if she asked but its the fact that shes bein such a liary bwitch thats annoyin me

Nothingbetter2d

smash wrote: »

You live with hairyprincess?

i reckon if hairyprincess needed to steal off her flatmate it would be bottles of shampoo and conditioner....

all that extra hair would need it

cloud493

puddinboxxx wrote: »

I reckon her nickers smell like shreks armpit

Nice image there

giles lynchwood

Spray her tampons with Mr muscle oven cleaner,that should shift the dirty bitch.

xzanti

Canis Lupus wrote: »

My now ex flatmate was stony broke and was stealing small change from my room when I was out.

At first I thought it was my mistake as I usually have pocketfuls of change but once I knew it was definitely going I had a webcam which had a motioncontrol option so once I deffo caught him in the act the next time I was out I put a pile of change on my pc desk, behind it a sign saying smile for the camera and an arrow pointing at it.

Nothing was ever said but the his face on the video was priceless and my disappearing change problem stopped. I also got a bottle of vodka a few days later left in my room by the vodka fairy.

My heart actually broke for the flatmate reading that

Teyla Emmagan

Get a lock for your room.

Seachmall

puddinboxxx wrote: »

Im not very technological so the likes of cameras,nets,sharks with laser beams etc is outa the question

You don't need technical knowledge to set up a camera to catch her in the act.

Plug a webcam into your computer. Install webcam software with motion sensor (Yawcam, for example). Point webcam at money and/or condoms. Turn off monitor.

Alternatively set it up to stream on JustinTV or something so we can watch her steal.


Also, if you forget to turn it off we can watch you fap.

DaveNoCheese

Buy those cheap condoms from lidl, who in their right mind would use them?

SouthTippBass

I love a theivin' flatmate thread so I do.

Nothingbetter2d

lol invest in a secure lock box to keep your condoms and money in.

Boscoirl

Use your condoms quicker

kfallon

I think the OP may have lost count of his posh **** quota for last week, they were not stolen at all

liamhana

in college a gang of us rented out a room to a girl who turned out to be a slob and a thief...condoms, food, money etc.... Plan was devised;
One of the lads walked into the living room one evening & announced to us all 'lads, I'm screwed those condoms in my room that I bought off the back of a van are all out of date and faulty...I've got 2 stds and I need to ring about 5 girls.'.....we all pretended to be deadly upset for him & all said we'd better get tested as we'd all bought all our condoms from the same source.....
She bolted for the toilet & spent an hour in there....

yupya1

put a pin hole in the condoms

Maldesu

Pushtrak wrote: »

In before someone recommends damaging the condom - don't do that.

Just because you didn't poke a hole in the condoms, doesn't mean you can't tell her you did.

cloud493

Put the condoms out, and coat them all in butter or something really slippy so she'll never be able to use them.

mr kr0nik

puddinboxxx wrote: »

-she aint that hot
-items stolen have been money and condoms
-traps are knowin exactly how much money was in the jar that money was stolen from and strategically placing stuff in my room to know if she was in there while I was gone

Put the money in a condom and then put it in the jar. I'd like to see her get out of that trap.

RuailleBuaille

OP you might not be technologically minded, but she doesn't know that. Why don't you just leave your laptop or whatever there, with the sign beside it saying 'Hi X, smile for the camera, that's twice I've caught you!', how is she to know it's not hooked up?

SteoL

coonecb1 wrote: »

puddinboxxx wrote: »

everythin was fine apart from her bein a slob

What is it with women being slobs these days? Whatever happened to the fairer sex etc

Feminism


:pac:

mongdesade

Take a massive dump onto a piece of cling film...

Roll cling film into a sausage shape but DO NOT seal either end...

Place under your intended victims pillow & wait...simples :eek:

Nothingbetter2d

carefully open one end of the condom wrapper and remove condom then rub a chopped up chili (hottest one u can find) on the condoms then carefully put back in wrapper and reseal using some glue.... that will give the thieving tramp a nice does of ring sting

Mr.Crinklewood

- insert a condom cam into your condoms. *

- in your condom drawer leave pictures of her with jizz all over them.

* Available Sunday week from Aldi.

dogyworld1

PISS IN THE ASS

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.ispyconnect.com/download.aspx more free face recognition recording software




also superglue a coin to the table / floor

Cognitive Cascade

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I had a webcam which had a motioncontrol option so once I deffo caught him in the act the next time I was out I put a pile of change on my pc desk, behind it a sign saying smile for the camera and an arrow pointing at it.

Should have just taken the camera, no proof and no camera, you would have been fcuked then.

Thats what you get for acting a smartass.

Cognitive Cascade

dogyworld1 wrote: »

PISS IN THE ASS

+10















For the most retarded post of the day.

Edit: Durrrrrrrrrr

phill106

Instead of buying a lock for your room, buy a lock for hers. Lock her in!

puddinboxxx

I left a note sayin smile your on camera in the drawer where the condoms are so shes gonna have a snoop for a camera,so i ran a wire up the side of my wardrobe and under a blanket makin it look like there a camera under it and took a photo of it so if she goes in again Ill know

But I still need more ideas,I really wanna piss her off so she feels she needs to get out of the flat quickfast

cloud493

Put all her stuff outside the door. Then set it on fire. That'll teach her.

Capt'n Midnight

Why did the hedgehog cross the road ?



To see his flatmate :pac:

dr strangelove

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Why did the hedgehog cross the road ?



To catch his flatmate stealing his stuff

FYP