Concerned about little girl and her dog

barbiegirl

A little girl, about 11/12 in our estate got a lovely terrier/labrador cross last year. Now she loves him to bits but her parents don't seem to be supporting her at all with him.

Last night I met him as I was taking my two out for a walk, on his own, wondering about. I tried bringing him home but he wouldn't follow me. It's not the type of estate where wandering dogs are normal. Then towards the end of the walk I ran into her with her best mate, she had him on lead. Now my dogs and him get on fab. There was a little establishing who the boss is between him and my little lad and she was so upset. She says he can't be trusted and is a little wicked. She asked me how to train him and I brought her through the ignore and reward, the time outs etc. She asked should she smack him, I said absolutely not. She then asked how much it was to get him neutered and I explained about the Blue Cross and as the impression I have is that she will have to pay for the op herself.

Now I would point out that her little sister has been allowed wander the estate since she could walk on her own, so I'm unsure as to the parents values.

I think she is being left completely on her own, with no adult support to care for this dog, and is drowning. I want to help her as best I can, but am very aware of how some parents feel about adults interacting with their children. Would it be unacceptable to arrange to meet her a couple of times a week in the green with the dogs and help her with training techniques, as little as I know.

He really is a lovely dog, but all I can see in the future is a heart broken child and a dog who's been put to sleep :-(

star-pants

barbiegirl wrote: »

I want to help her as best I can, but am very aware of how some parents feel about adults interacting with their children. Would it be unacceptable to arrange to meet her a couple of times a week in the green with the dogs and help her with training techniques, as little as I know.

Just to respond to your question - IF you do wish to help the child with training etc. I would not do so without speaking to the parents first. (you don't mention that you would speak to the parents so I'm unsure if you were planning to or not)

Creating a situation whereby you have an 'arrangement' made with the child, without the parent's knowledge of this, you could land yourself in trouble very easily if it was misconstrued.

I would approach the parents and introduce yourself. Mention that you've passed their daughter on walks and she has asked you questions on how to train the dog and that you would like to offer to help her with this / what do they think?

That's just my personal opinion though, it's lovely of you to want to help the girl with the dog but unfortunately you need to make sure you're protected yourself.

barbiegirl

Yep that is my concern. The parents are not very approachable, not unfriendly but not exactly out on the road or anything. In fact I think I only saw the mum for the first time last week. I guess I'll have to term it in a way that is not critising them. The reason I had suggested the green, is it is right in the open, normally full of other kids and parents so no way could be mis construed I had hoped.

tfitzgerald

Op you could be walking yourself into a lot of trouble here. either talk to the parents or stay out of it . I don't think any parent would object to someone helping their child train their pet but doing it with out permission leaves you open to a lot of grief

JustAThought

Y: your " name" is barbiegirl so I assume you're a female !! But if not ( for some mad reason!) I'd be running a mile. You will find that the kid might look out for you if she's smart & decide to take her dog out at the same time ; but as to a formal agreement with a child unfortunately it's different days we live in nowadays; dark days.

Re the Blue Cross it's Not a bad idea to out the idea intothe Childs mind in case the parents don't know or genuinely have no resources; but I would be very cautious.

barbiegirl

I am a girl I haven't seen either the dog or girl since. I won't be doing anything formal at all. I throw ball and work with my dogs in the green 3-4 nights a week, so if I she comes with her dog I'll help her, but I won't offer or make it an arrangement at all.

Daisy M

Hi barbiegirl I think your really generous for wanting to help this little one and I am sure it would mean a lot to her.

Maybe you could print out a training routine for her to follow or suggest she get a book from the library. Also would it be possible to get the mothers mobile number from her that way you could clear it with her by text and have proof that you did so and not have to have a long discussion about it.You could just say you are training your dog and you saw her daughter was interested so if it was ok with her could the little one join you on xxday a xx o clock.

Millem

barbiegirl wrote: »

Yep that is my concern. The parents are not very approachable, not unfriendly but not exactly out on the road or anything. In fact I think I only saw the mum for the first time last week. I guess I'll have to term it in a way that is not critising them. The reason I had suggested the green, is it is right in the open, normally full of other kids and parents so no way could be mis construed I had hoped.

It's a great idea and really kindhearted of you. The child does seem to be in it all on her own by the looks of it - really sad. With all that's gone on in this country (and not trying to be negative when you clearly have good intentions) it might be best to leave the situation alone - as OPs have suggested if someone misconstrues the situation things could get very difficult for you. If it were me I'd take the approach that it's a sad situation but the potential for negatives do seem to outweigh what positives might occur...

Just my two cents though - I might be way off !

Seb_bixby

Isn't it a sad day that a lady can't help a little girl to train her dog in a public and open area without the fear of people taking it up the wrong way or it coming back in a bad way to effect said lady. Makes me sad in my heart. :(:(:(:(:(
Unfortunately, I have done the HSE child protection course, and from what I have heard while doing that I really think that you will need to contact the parents in some way first and see if they would mind you helping. You never know they might love the idea.

Vince32

I haven't read all the posts, so forgive me if I repeat something,

Firstly to answer your question, if you want to work with the girl training her dog, you would - as starpants said - need the parents permission. Under normal circumstances you wouldn't need permission to be friendly to her, but when it comes to training a dog the parents would need to be informed at the very least.

But more over, if you think the girl is drowning in self doubt and financially unprepared - as I'd imagine any 12yr old to be - you could buy her a book on her breed, and a book on training the dog, good ones you know to be factual, that is if the parents won't let you work with her, and if you wanted too, you could arrange the blue cross surgery for the dog yourself, and ask the parents to take the dog in, and collect it afterward.

But the bottom line is, IF the parents don't want you interfering with their child and her dog, as hard as it is, you will have to respect their wishes, I doubt it will come to that, but spending $40 on a couple of books, could mean the world to the child, and really make a difference in both their lives.

My advice, for what it's worth is, proceed with caution.

Vince

EDIT: you don't have to phrase anything carefully when dealing with the parents, just be respectful and ask permission to help their daughter with her dog. That's it. They will either accept your offer or decline it. Point out that an untrained dog may become a problem over time, and it would be your pleasure to help their child become a responsible and effective dog owner. If they refuse, and they might you should keep your distance.