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Confusion over 'relationship'

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  • 17-05-2012 10:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok, basically throwing this out here to get a different perspective on the situation.
    I've been dating a guy since about February. But as he lives the other side of the country, most of our contact is via the phone.
    We were friends a good while, but decided to take it a step further.

    So in March, he came up to see me. It went amazingly well; or so I thought. The first few weeks afterwards were fine,but then he started going hot and cold. I invited him up twice and he made excuses both times. He was also up here with his friends,asked me would I be around the day he was up, then never mentioned it to me when he was here.

    He regularly tells me he loves me, calls me beautiful etc but the last few weeks it's been different.

    We text all day every day, a few texts per hour usually. If either of us is busy and the other doesn't reply, then that's fine too usually no quarrels about it unless it lasts over a day. Recently he's started ignoring me for the majority of the day, yet updating his FB/Twitter etc. He doesn't really call me anymore, but still tells me he loves me.

    Anytime I bring it up, he argues with me over it and won't talk about it. Currently we're taking a 'break' because it'll apparently do us good. I don't see how something can be resolved by not talking :S

    Anyways, I'd love some feedback, this is seriously wrecking my head..excuse the super long post :P
    Tagged:


Comments

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    #2
    bite30
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭bite30


    Sorry hun i hate to tell u i think u know the answer. If he wanted to be there with u he would, I think he dosent want to hurt u, So have no contact i know it will be hard , u miss the texts with him but if he really wants to be with u He will be back in contact with u xxx


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    #3
    ihsb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭ihsb


    I am sorry. It seems to not be a relationship anymore. He may well love you, but maybe more as a friend then as a girlfriend. And no, you cannot sort out your problems if you cannot talk about them!


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    #4
    Piliger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    Hi OP - trying to maintain a relationship over a distance is really really tough ! and expecting the red hot heat to last throughout the time apart is expecting too much.
    Recently he's started ignoring me for the majority of the day,

    Is this really a major problem ? 'the majority of the day' ?

    I think you need to look at how you see this relationship. Where is it going ? Can you really have a relationship over a period if you live so far apart ? Would one of you move ?

    I think these are more important than him not staying in touch multiple times in a day....


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    #5
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    Ignore what he's saying for a minute and look at what he's doing. You say he has twice cancelled meeting up with you. When he was around he didn't tell you. Now he's not in any great hurry to text you back and doesn't want to talk to you. People can spout all sorts of bullcrap and not mean it. They're only words.

    Long distance relationships are a lot of hard work and perhaps he is having second thoughts about it. Especially if there's no end goal in sight e.g. one or the other or both moving. Unless the two of you are capable of sitting down and trashing out your issues, I'm afraid it doesn't look promising :(


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