Calling all AH entrepreneurs (who can keep a straight face) !

AskMyChocolate

Heh Ahers. Was out with a few friends and the conversation got around to what you would pitch to Dragon's Den if you went on the show. Needless to say, it took about five minutes before it descended into a competition to see who could come up with the most ridiculous product.

My brother scooped the pool with his concept for a toddler's chair in the shape of an Orang Utan; to be marketed with the slogan, "My bear's a chair!"

After some brainstorming, we decided that the USP for the product should be adjustable arms that could put the child in a head-lock, and could be loosened or tightened as necessary to improve the child's behaviour.

So, AHers, any more ridiculous ideas and do you reckon you could make it through the pitch without dissolving in tears of laughter during your demo?

Choco

flutterflye

But an orangutan is an ape, not a bear?!

hairyprincess

No

Palytoxin

I'm not giving you all my secrets! :pac:
I don't have any ideas

MrStuffins

You love a good fry right?

Well, you gotta get them Rashers yo! And you gotsta be gettin' those Sausages too aiiight?

Well, how about you kill 2 birds with 1 giant dose of cholesterol with........

RASHAGES!!!!!



Patent pending

minidazzler

A bar that sells opium, and never only lets people leave when they are hooked so they come back with friends.

MrStuffins

flutterflye wrote: »

But an orangutan is an ape, not a bear?!

My bear's an chair!





....... my bear's also an ape!

Pottler

flutterflye wrote: »

But an orangutan is an ape, not a bear?!

Always with the logic Flutterfly, -go with it-, its an ape-bear, they are deadly craic, they like bananas and salmon and dipping their paws in honey while scratching their holes with their tails.

Pottler

MrStuffins wrote: »

You love a good fry right?

Well, you gotta get them Rashers yo! And you gotsta be gettin' those Sausages too aiiight?

Well, how about you kill 2 birds with 1 giant dose of cholesterol with........

RASHAGES!!!!!



Patent pending

Strapline-"Pure Pork Perfection":DTM

SdoowSirhc

Shoes that wear YOU!

castletownman

A digital car radio that you can pause and rewind live radio, just like Sky +. Not sure if it has already been done, haven't come across it anyway.

I'm surprised there hasn't been a car invented yet that won't start until the seatbelt is strapped in.


But probably the mother of all inventions: the make-up shotgun. Ladies: in too much of a hurry to apply make-up in the morning? Get yourself the make-up shotgun. With one simple blast to the face make-up is applied in a second. Handy!

Frynge

Etch taxi company names and phone numbers into the bottom of pint glasses, so as at the end of a night the first company you call is the one you have stared at all night

deconduo

flutterflye wrote: »

But an orangutan is an ape, not a bear?!

Ook?

Frynge

SdoowSirhc wrote: »

Shoes that wear YOU!

Would this shoe be Russian

Pottler

castletownman wrote: »

A digital car radio that you can pause and rewind live radio, just like Sky +. Not sure if it has already been done, haven't come across it anyway.

I'm surprised there hasn't been a car invented yet that won't start until the seatbelt is strapped in.

You are wasted on Boards, off to China with you, you genius:D I already want one of your digital radios.

looksee

Frynge wrote: »

Etch taxi company names and phone numbers into the bottom of pint glasses, so as at the end of a night the first company you call is the one you have stared at all night

How many people can actually see the bottom of the glass while they are drinking from it?

kjl

I thought about this before, my answer was

I would ask for €800m my plan is to raise the Titanic and restore it. Leave no detail out. I would then charge €1m for a ticket on the maiden voyage which would have been on the 100 year anniversary. But here is the real money maker, I would make sure it made the same mistake and crashed into an iceberg and sank again. Then I would use the money I made from the tickets to make the squeal to the Titanic movie. The at the end of the pitch, I would like. and we can do in ...... 3D.

dark crystal

Incontinence pads for dogs. No more fouled footpaths or green areas.

You could could call them Tena Lady(and the Tramp)








..........I'll get my coat.

AskMyChocolate

flutterflye wrote: »

But an orangutan is an ape, not a bear?!

Yeah I know, but there was design/marketing in-fighting from the word get-go! Surprised we ever got it off the ground.:pac:

MrStuffins

castletownman wrote: »

A digital car radio that you can pause and rewind live radio, just like Sky +. Not sure if it has already been done, haven't come across it anyway.

I'm surprised there hasn't been a car invented yet that won't start until the seatbelt is strapped in.

It's already been invented.

It was gonna be "the future of radio" 7-10 years ago.

It's been on the market just as long.

Nobody cared.

it's called DAB radio!

Pottler

dark crystal wrote: »

Incontinence pads for dogs. No more fouled footpaths or green areas.

You could could call them Tena Lady(and the Tramp)







..........I'll get my coat.

"Dappies"?? Environmental nightmare-Dun Laoighaire council would be swamped by the things.:)

Jimoslimos

castletownman wrote: »

A digital car radio that you can pause and rewind live radio, just like Sky +. Not sure if it has already been done, haven't come across it anyway.

Yep, it's available in the UK anyway. Not sure if it has made its way into integrated units yet though.

kjl

Pottler wrote: »

You are wasted on Boards, off to China with you, you genius:D I already want one of your digital radios.

they exist, but you can only do it with digital radio.

Plus, you have the ability to do it on your phone if you really want.

dark crystal

Pottler wrote: »

"Dappies"?? Environmental nightmare-Dun Laoighaire council would be swamped by the things.:)

Yeah, your name is better

Sadly, I think that tw@t from N-Dubz may have got there first...

jhegarty

castletownman wrote: »

But probably the mother of all inventions: the make-up shotgun. Ladies: in too much of a hurry to apply make-up in the morning? Get yourself the make-up shotgun. With one simple blast to the face make-up is applied in a second. Handy!

Like this ?

Pottler

MrStuffins wrote: »

It's already been invented.

It was gonna be "the future of radio" 7-10 years ago.

It's been on the market just as long.

Nobody cared.

it's called DAB radio!

OH NO IT ISNT! I have a DAB radio, and its crap. I want a radio that can work like sky+. DAB ain't it. I want "Radio+"cpottler 2012, just like yer man above, the genius, just invented.:)

Born to Die

I'll comeback when I think of something.

Pottler

dark crystal wrote: »

Yeah, your name is better

Sadly, I think that tw@t from N-Dubz may have got there first...

also the missus says the local hardware already sell em(doggy Diapers)...not Dappies though!:DBut Dappy is fairly full of sh1t and disposable too though..

MrStuffins

Pottler wrote: »

OH NO IT ISNT! I have a DAB radio, and its crap. I want a radio that can work like sky+. DAB ain't it. I want Radio+, just like yer man above, the genius, just invented.:)

Well, how about instead of that, we could invent some sort of little box. Inside this box we could hold the contents of the radio, the songs for example, and then you could use this box inside your car, outside your car, walking down the street............ wherever!

You could even pick your own songs!

I'd call it................ THE ABLE TO PICK WHATEVER SONG YOU LIKEERER!!!

Pottler

MrStuffins wrote: »

Well, how about instead of that, we could invent some sort of little box. Inside this box we could hold the contents of the radio, the songs for example, and then you could use this box inside your car, outside your car, walking down the street............ wherever!

You could even pick your own songs!

I'd call it................ THE ABLE TO PICK WHATEVER SONG YOU LIKEERER!!!

That might just catch on. We could call it a "walk-hear-man", watcher reckon?:D The name might need shortening though..

Frynge

looksee wrote: »

How many people can actually see the bottom of the glass while they are drinking from it?

For they drinker with too much to drive(ded) but too little to be blinded

dark crystal wrote: »

Incontinence pads for dogs. No more fouled footpaths or green areas.

Whatever about green areas, have you ever seen them dogs on a beach?:(

dark crystal

Human taxidermy.

If it's good enough for cats and birds, it's damn well good enough for humans too.

Could also come in handy as a coat-stand or perhaps a burglar deterrent.

strobe

A pillow filled with some little bags of chemicals... no... no, bear with me, please.

You've seen (actually you probably haven't seen...) those little hand warmer things? They are little plastic things and you sort of crack them and the two chemicals mix and it makes the thing warm, ye know? For warming your hands on a cold day, ye know? So I'm thinking something like that, only the little plastic crackable bags are inside a pillow, but they are different chemicals, and when you crack them, say by folding the pillow in half really vigorously, the little bags become really really cold (I'm thinking some kind of chemical reaction that'd produce liquid nitrogen or some ****) and would instantly coldify your pillow. Boom! Instant cool pillow on warm nights. You heard me.
YOU HEARD ME!
INSTANT COLD PILLOW, MOTHERFUCKER!

Captain Morgan Freeman

A magic bag that makes sex with your wife better.

strobe

Captain Morgan Freeman wrote: »

A magic bag that makes sex with your wife better.

Been done, bro.
http://www.stockphotopro.com/photo-thumbs-2/B0PC80.jpg

Captain Morgan Freeman

strobe wrote: »

Been done, bro.
http://www.stockphotopro.com/photo-thumbs-2/B0PC80.jpg

All my plans for the "shag bag" have now been ruined.

anniehoo

castletownman wrote: »

. Ladies: in too much of a hurry to apply make-up in the morning? Get yourself the make-up shotgun. With one simple blast to the face make-up is applied in a second. Handy!

You have NO idea how much i would kill for one of those

Invent it someone pleeeeease!!! It WILL save lives...on the M5O anyway!

NakedNNettles

dark crystal wrote: »

Human taxidermy.

If it's good enough for cats and birds, it's damn well good enough for humans too.

Could also come in handy as a coat-stand or perhaps a burglar deterrent.

Already done in the form of Body Worlds (preserved human bodies and parts).

bobmalooka

Wheetadix

Cock shaped weetabix for hen partys homosexuals etc. to have for breakfast.

Keeps you going till lunchtime.

Mr.Biscuits

Nail clippers that catches nail clippings.

acidskiffle

Mr.Biscuits wrote: »

Nail clippers that catches nail clippings.

I'd invest in that!

Jimoslimos

Pottler wrote: »

OH NO IT ISNT! I have a DAB radio, and its crap. I want a radio that can work like sky+. DAB ain't it. I want "Radio+"cpottler 2012, just like yer man above, the genius, just invented.:)

It does exist for DAB, Pure have a function on some of their radios called ReVu which allows you to pause and rewind live radio. Think it's limited to 15 minutes so there is room for improvement there.

Mr Simpson

I'm an entrepreneur (at least thats what my degree says) and no I'm not telling you my ideas!!

haminka

strobe wrote: »

A pillow filled with some little bags of chemicals... no... no, bear with me, please.

You've seen (actually you probably haven't seen...) those little hand warmer things? They are little plastic things and you sort of crack them and the two chemicals mix and it makes the thing warm, ye know? For warming your hands on a cold day, ye know? So I'm thinking something like that, only the little plastic crackable bags are inside a pillow, but they are different chemicals, and when you crack them, say by folding the pillow in half really vigorously, the little bags become really really cold (I'm thinking some kind of chemical reaction that'd produce liquid nitrogen or some ****) and would instantly coldify your pillow. Boom! Instant cool pillow on warm nights. You heard me.
YOU HEARD ME!
INSTANT COLD PILLOW, MOTHERFUCKER!

you don't live in Ireland, you joker, do you?

a bidet with a nether regions dryer.

ToddyDoody

A do it yourself dentistry kit complete with local anesthetic, disposable plastic syringe, battery powered drill, that prodder thing, mirror and filling cement. an illustrated how-to guide showing how to fill various tooth holes, how to remove a tooth and how to scrape of plague. Ideal for parents and as a gift for relatives. (for legal reasons, the diy dentistry kit is for novelty purposes only and should not be used to perform actual dentistry)

The Snipe

The Man Club. It's a club that you can carry around in your pants, and whack women over the head with it to drag em back to your man cave.

I'll make.... MILLIONS!


OR!

A screen that you can watch moving pictures on with sound... We can call it... The screen-o-sound-a-vision!

Joe10000

I tried to post my wacky idea but I couldn't keep a straight face, sorry.

ednwireland

mmcn90 wrote: »

I'm an entrepreneur (at least thats what my degree says) and no I'm not telling you my ideas!!

from the university of life no doubt :rolleyes:

Plazaman

strobe wrote: »

A pillow filled with some little bags of chemicals... no... no, bear with me, please.

You've seen (actually you probably haven't seen...) those little hand warmer things? They are little plastic things and you sort of crack them and the two chemicals mix and it makes the thing warm, ye know? For warming your hands on a cold day, ye know? So I'm thinking something like that, only the little plastic crackable bags are inside a pillow, but they are different chemicals, and when you crack them, say by folding the pillow in half really vigorously, the little bags become really really cold (I'm thinking some kind of chemical reaction that'd produce liquid nitrogen or some ****) and would instantly coldify your pillow. Boom! Instant cool pillow on warm nights. You heard me.
YOU HEARD ME!
INSTANT COLD PILLOW, MOTHERFUCKER!

Unless the pillow cracks or leaks and you wake up one morning with your ear on the floor.

YOU HEARD ME!

What?

However, Velcro is the wave of the future I tell you. The best invention sinced sliced bread is not being utilised enough so here's where I step in with my Velcro range of clothing...... for babies.

Little velcro jumpsuits for babies

- Sit them on a velcro mat, they won't fall over and hurt themselves

- Put a velcro mat on the side of the couch and stand your babies against it, BOOM, they'll be walking by the time they're 12 weeks old.

- Cooking in the kitchen and the baby is crying? No problem, velcro wallpaper - stick your baby to the wall beside the cooker giving you peace of mind and him a birds eye view of what's for dinner.

- Twins? Stick them to each other and watch halarity ensue as they try to get away from each other. Or stick one onto the others back while they are crawling. Cuter that two turtles giving each other a lift.

The possibilities are endless.

Captain Morgan Freeman

Captain Morgan Freeman wrote: »

All my plans for the "shag bag" have now been ruined.

Shag bag marketing plan #5: Have adverts running right after the angelus on RTE1 in order to capitalise on all the built up sexual tension.

pickarooney

mmcn90 wrote: »

I'm an entrepreneur (at least thats what my degree says)

Did you make it yourself?