Cheer up :)

Bluegrass

Right, new to posting here, and judging by the banter here probably not the most ideal place to post but here goes

Sitting here, wallowing in self pity, due to some personal issues, I had just thought to myself, while thinking of people who are in alot worse situation than I am, that it could be alot worse.

Thinking of my position and my problems in life now, I think about the people who had everything and lost it all. Not talking about money, but people who had a caring and loving wife, good steady job, health, everything. And lose it all because of an accident, health issues etc.

There was a program on t.v not long ago, about a girl who had been married to a fella for 10 years. She was stunning. Young, was only early 30's and got married to her childhood sweetheart at 20-ish.

Woke up one morning after a night out and was paralysed from the waist down due to some strange spinal disorder she had got, can't really recall what it was now, nor the program. Anyway, her husband had left her. And she was heartbroken and decided to try dating again. But I can only imagine, her pain as she struggled to come to terms with everything going on in her life and losing it all. My heart really went out to her, and I thought of that poor woman while I was feeling sorry for myself. Selfish eh?

So to all you out there feeling depressed during these hard times, stop and think about it for a minute. It could be alot worse.

Cheer up

im invisible

and now im going to bed depressed thinking about this ****! i was grand until i read this thread OP, thanks:mad:

Bluegrass

I'm sorry, but don't be, you could have a hell of a lot more to be depressed about.

Smile and sleep well

Pandora2

Had to spend a couple of days in Our Lady's with my youngest child a few years back. Did a lot of walking the halls and I defy anyone to take a walk round there and come back and tell me how tough they've got it.

My Mum used to say, put 12 people round a table and have them throw their troubles in the middle, you'd be the first to take your own back!! Smart lady;)

K-9

I know somebody whose husband was killed in an accident. Has 2 kids to get through confirmation and communion.

Far worse than off than the OP.

Bipolar Joe

Fuck off.

Jaxxy

Pandora2 wrote: »

My Mum used to say, put 12 people round a table and have them throw their troubles in the middle, you'd be the first to take your own back!! Smart lady;)

I love that. I'm robbing it!

starviewadams

Feeling depressed?

Cheer up sure,don't be so moany,don't be ruining everybody else's buzz,sure you're only an attention seeker,a drama queen.Nothing wrong with you,sure what do you have to be depressed about?

Sounds like my dad when I told him I'd been diagnosed with depression.

Bluegrass

Pandora2 wrote: »

Had to spend a couple of days in Our Lady's with my youngest child a few years back. Did a lot of walking the halls and I defy anyone to take a walk round there and come back and tell me how tough they've got it.

My Mum used to say, put 12 people round a table and have them throw their troubles in the middle, you'd be the first to take your own back!! Smart lady;)

She sounds smart, I think I'll use that saying in future. Hope your youngest is ok now

Domo230 wrote: »

I wasn't depressed until I read that OP.

Sorry

K-9 wrote: »

I know somebody whose husband was killed in an accident. Has 2 kids to get through confirmation and communion.

Far worse than off than the OP.

I have no doubt in my mind there is worse out there, I just mentioned the above as a situation worse than my own. I'm sure alot of people can relate.

My thoughts are with that person.

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Fuck off.

Nice name.

RachaelVO

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Fuck off.

Ah now, there's no need for that, Bipolar or no Bipolar! FFS!

You go OP, you're right, things could be worse... in some parts of the world childrens are dying from shitty preventable diseases and their parents are left devastated! You're bang on, half the time we don't know how luck we really fecking well are

Scioch

Yeah always someone worse off. Thinking on it too helps ya stop wallowing in your own self pity.

Thats the theory anyway. But I am quite fond of wallowing.

Bluegrass

RachaelVO wrote: »

Ah now, there's no need for that, Bipolar or no Bipolar! FFS!

You go OP, you're right, things could be worse... in some parts of the world childrens are dying from shitty preventable diseases and their parents are left devastated! You're bang on, half the time we don't know how luck we really fecking well are

Thanks Rachael, felt it was something I had to say, sorry if this isn't the right place.

But you have hit the nail on the head there.

Live. Laugh. Enjoy

F1ngers

Bluegrass wrote: »

There was a program on t.v not long ago, about a girl who had been married to a fella for 10 years. She was stunning. Young, was only early 30's and got married to her childhood sweetheart at 20-ish.

Woke up one morning after a night out and was paralysed from the waist down due to some strange spinal disorder she had got, can't really recall what it was now, nor the program. Anyway, her husband had left her. And she was heartbroken and decided to try dating again. But I can only imagine, her pain as she struggled to come to terms with everything going on in her life and losing it all. My heart really went out to her, and I thought of that poor woman while I was feeling sorry for myself. Selfish eh?

So to all you out there feeling depressed during these hard times, stop and think about it for a minute. It could be alot worse.

Cheer up

True, she could have been a quadraplegic.
She got real lucky there.

PucaMama

Telling someone who suffers from depression to cheer up is very insulting op I dont need a major life changein event to justify it.

guitarzero

I think its gas how we try to use other peoples misery to feel better.

"It could be worse, I could be you, mr bum man with no home on the streets tonight" *clicks heals and away*

Bipolar Joe

Like Starviewadams posted, this view is bull. It's akin to saying your sadness means nothing. Sure, why are those people upset? At least they're not starving to death. Sure, why are the people starving to death upset? At least they have all their limbs. Sure, why are the starving, limbless people upset? At least they can still watch Fair City with their 100% working eyes. The worst thing you can say to someone who's depressed is "Cheer up."

RachaelVO

PucaMama wrote: »

Telling someone who suffers from depression to cheer up is very insulting op I dont need a major life changein event to justify it.

Not too sure that's what he meant to be fair...

Depression is depression, and it's something VERY different.

I think what he meant is more the fact that we all have our crosses to bear, but some have it worse, and maybe... just maybe we should look at the pro list and not the cons list

Just saying is all!

Bluegrass

guitarzero wrote: »

I think its gas how we try to use other peoples misery to feel better.

"It could be worse, I could be you, mr bum man with no home on the streets tonight" *clicks heals and away*

I'm not using anybodies misery to make myself feel better. I'm seeing my situation from another perspective and thinking I don't have it as bad as I make it out to be sometimes. Maybe I do, maybe people see how I feel and think "Damn, I'm alot better off"..

Who know's?

And to the above poster who said asking someone who is depressed to cheer up.

I've been diagnosed with depression, and for once, feel I should cheer up a little, I too have been through an awful lot I don't wish to or need to address publicly.
Sorry if I have offended you in trying to make others see a little light in their lives.

Corkfeen

I have to agree with Bipolar, this just reinforces this Irish logic that people with depression don't have it so bad so shouldn't have it. While '**** off' may have seemed harsh, I understand the rationale. Depression is not simply being upset and is far more complex, it is a real illness and you can't just argue that other ailments are worse...

Ficheall

A nice bluegrass cover for the OP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPutbENepXQ

PucaMama

RachaelVO wrote: »

PucaMama wrote: »

Telling someone who suffers from depression to cheer up is very insulting op I dont need a major life changein event to justify it.

Not too sure that's what he meant to be fair...

Depression is depression, and it's something VERY different.

I think what he meant is more the fact that we all have our crosses to bear, but some have it worse, and maybe... just maybe we should look at the pro list and not the cons list

Just saying is all!

I understand but diagnosed or not 'cheer up' isnt the way to deal with it. And people who think it is only make it harder. Your mental health is important.

RachaelVO

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Like Starviewadams posted, this view is bull. It's akin to saying your sadness means nothing. Sure, why are those people upset? At least they're not starving to death. Sure, why are the people starving to death upset? At least they have all their limbs. Sure, why are the starving, limbless people upset? At least they can still watch Fair City with their 100% working eyes. The worst thing you can say to someone who's depressed is "Cheer up."

You're some barrel of ****ing laughs aren't ya?

The point is, is that there is always something to appreciate and when you look at some aspect of your life you can say, well yeah, I did good, or I have it good. Christ on a bike, there are times and I wonder how the fuck we're gonna pay the bills, but I have always figured it out so far, and then I look at my kids, and I think well, they're healthy and to date they are pretty all rounded happy kids, I've fuck all to be whinging about...

THATS THE POINT

im invisible

I was just trying for a few thanks with my first post there, to be fair to the OP, i don't s/he was trying to equate feeling a bit depressed, with suffering from depression

RachaelVO

PucaMama wrote: »

I understand but diagnosed or not 'cheer up' isnt the way to deal with it. And people who think it is only make it harder. Your mental health is important.

The point is, he's not telling people with depression to cheer up... the majority of people realise the depression is not that simple. You're neither happy or sad, you're just empty! This is a whole other, not debate as such, but outlook, for people who do piddle all but whinge and moan. And TBF the majority of people with depression hide it very well from people on "the outside" if that makes any sense

Bluegrass

RachaelVO wrote: »

You're some barrel of ****ing laughs aren't ya?

The point is, is that there is always something to appreciate and when you look at some aspect of your life you can say, well yeah, I did good, or I have it good. Christ on a bike, there are times and I wonder how the fuck we're gonna pay the bills, but I have always figured it out so far, and then I look at my kids, and I think well, they're healthy and to date they are pretty all rounded happy kids, I've fuck all to be whinging about...

THATS THE POINT

Agree with this 100%. My point exactly. Thank you Rachael

strobe

Bluegrass wrote: »

There was a program on t.v not long ago, about a girl who had been married to a fella for 10 years. She was stunning. Young, was only early 30's and got married to her childhood sweetheart at 20-ish.

Woke up one morning after a night out and was paralysed from the waist down due to some strange spinal disorder she had got, can't really recall what it was now, nor the program. Anyway, her husband had left her. And she was heartbroken and decided to try dating again.

The show was called 'The Undateables', it was on Ch4 and is prob up on their player. It was actually quite good for a variety of reasons. Worth a watch.

Bipolar Joe

RachaelVO wrote: »

You're some barrel of ****ing laughs aren't ya?

No, I'm a miserablist.

RachaelVO wrote: »

The point is, is that there is always something to appreciate and when you look at some aspect of your life you can say, well yeah, I did good, or I have it good. Christ on a bike, there are times and I wonder how the fuck we're gonna pay the bills, but I have always figured it out so far, and then I look at my kids, and I think well, they're healthy and to date they are pretty all rounded happy kids, I've fuck all to be whinging about...

THATS THE POINT

Here's hoping you never develop a soul-crushing mental illness. HIGH FIVE!!!

Posy

But it can be nice to wallow in a bit of self-pity for a while.
There will almost always be someone worse off than yourself, but that doesn't particularly make someone who's upset feel better. Sometimes it can just make someone else feel that you think their problems are not worth caring about.
But sometimes it can help to put your problems into perspective.

guitarzero

I think its good to get a fresh perspective on things, often folks views can be quite flawed. But, the inner aspect of peoples lives can often be no reflection of their outer projection. Its this murky, obscure area that truly shows that the conditions of happiness and sadness is not really subject to anything which can often make you feel helpless.

aaronjumper

Everything is better with ice cream.

Bluegrass

strobe wrote: »

The show was called 'The Undateables', it was on Ch4 and is prob up on their player. It was actually quite good for a variety of reasons. Worth a watch.

That's the one! Thank you.

Posy wrote: »

But it can be nice to wallow in a bit of self-pity for a while.
There will almost always be someone worse off than yourself, but that doesn't particularly make someone who's upset feel better. Sometimes it can just make someone else feel that you think their problems are not worth caring about.
But sometimes it can help to put your problems into perspective.

It can be, but it does one no good most of the time. But that's what I was getting at, you summed it up pretty good there Posy, thanks

PucaMama

Here's hoping you never develop a soul-crushing mental illness. HIGH FIVE!!![/Quote]

Couldnt describe it better.

RachaelVO

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

No, I'm a miserablist.

So I gathered

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Here's hoping you never develop a soul-crushing mental illness. HIGH FIVE!!!

I'm sure you delight in taking things the wrong way, what you with being a miserablist n all, but I will refer you to a point made to someone else

RachaelVO wrote: »

The point is, he's not telling people with depression to cheer up... the majority of people realise the depression is not that simple. You're neither happy or sad, you're just empty! This is a whole other, not debate as such, but outlook, for people who do piddle all but whinge and moan. And TBF the majority of people with depression hide it very well from people on "the outside" if that makes any sense

So I reckon it's pretty obvious it's not about mental illness, it's about being grateful for the good shit!!!!!!!!

Shryke

Telling someone whos being open about depression that they delight in taking things the wrong way. Thats just lovely.
Cheer up because bla is a poor thing to say anytime. Its a lovely sentiment but in practice its not nice. It has the opposite effect. Its as logistically sound as telling a child to finish their dinner because of the starving africans.

Feathers

RachaelVO wrote: »

The point is, he's not telling people with depression to cheer up... the majority of people realise the depression is not that simple.

Really? I think the majority of people vastly over-simplify depression. They mightn't do a Bertie Ahern on it, but it seems more to do with the PC culture rather than major attitudinal change.

Princess Peach

Probably one of the things that makes me angrier that anything is this phrase-

"Cheer up, it might never happen."

Well excuuuuuuuse me for for not having a fake smile on.

wyndham

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Like Starviewadams posted, this view is bull. It's akin to saying your sadness means nothing. Sure, why are those people upset? At least they're not starving to death. Sure, why are the people starving to death upset? At least they have all their limbs. Sure, why are the starving, limbless people upset? At least they can still watch Fair City with their 100% working eyes. The worst thing you can say to someone who's depressed is "Cheer up."

Cheer up sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean.....to a...

Pandora2

I would be of the 'count your blessings' school of thought when I am in the right frame of mind! I do not delight in others miseries but rather try and assist if I can but, over my lifetime I have had numerous crushing episodes of depression and have made several serious attempts to make the pain and sheer desolation stop! Ended up in locked wards and had to fight for custody of my youngest child after her Father removed her from my care due to Post Natal Depression. I would never dream of trivialising it but I have often thought the word became trivialised as people adopted it to describe their 'bad day', or general dissatisfaction with their present situation.

I have often heard a colleague remark they are depressed when it is patently obvious that they are just a little low in mood at that particular time. I have also masterfully hid my own illness and when at my lowest put in a full and demanding day in good spirits only to go home on Friday night and crawl into bed not to emerge again until Monday. I've left jobs that were just too much for my mental health and noone ever knew why! It is only in the last 10 years that I have become much more open about my illness and on returning to work after a hospitalisation, made no secret that I had just suffered an episode of clinical depresssion. My employers were wonderful and even visited me at home when I left the hospital, I received cards and flowers and generally felt supported upon my return after a long absence, I will always be grateful.

I think that discussions such as these are very valuable in terms of education and will be beneficial long term, I don't think the OP meant to trivialise Depression but rather used the word ill-advisedly...Next time he may think twice as a result of this discussion but, for me suffering from clinical Depression and counting your blessings are not mutually exclusive!!