Followed and hurled abuse at.... What to do???

nowyouresix

I was just leaving my area of a housing estate, and a guy came round the corner really quickly. I was on his side of the road , as there was a parked car on my side, and there wasn't enough time to go back. Anyway he was gesturing at me and waving his hands in the air....I think he was giving me the finger, so I gave him the fingers back, and went on. Next thing I know, he has followed me to the corner shop where I was just getting a message, and he starts shouting at me from his car "What's your ****ing problem" and I just said "Nothing" and kept walking.... And he kept shouting at me, so I just turned around and looked at his car reg.... And he was shouting "yea it's {SNIP}" and started reversing away... Anyway, so now what do I do? He was visiting his friends who live on the other side of the green, and when I went back to my house, he was at their's. Should I report it or leave it be?

MagicSean

You should stop giving the finger to strangers.

aujopimur

You should used the sorry signal, the one where you put your two hands up, instead of the two finger one.

irishbucka

you should have decked him. sounds like he was a bully. most of the time these lads go back into their shell when you put it up to em

nowyouresix

Thanks Irishbucka , but I'm a girl, and I was on my own...

johnnyskeleton

nowyouresix wrote: »

Thanks Irishbucka , but I'm a girl, and I was on my own...

While everyone, either male or female, has the right to travel the streets safely, in practical terms if you are a woman on your own it is all the more reason why you should take MagicSean's advice and don't go around provoking people. While you might be expecting a certain amount of chivalry, we live in a modern world of equals which means that you can't go around offending people and then getting upset when they offend you in turn.

irishbucka

nowyouresix wrote: »

Thanks Irishbucka , but I'm a girl, and I was on my own...

fair enough. i can understand how intimidating this must have been for ya. i dont want to sound sexist but this bully saw a girl on her own and started acting the hard man. i bet he wasnt on his own was he?
he probably wanted to put a show on for his friends. i bet if you see him on his own again he wont be even to make eye contact with ya.

nowyouresix

johnnyskeleton: he is the one who gave me the fingers first. I didn't initialise any provocation, he did. And then he followed me roaring abuse at me.
But I take your point. Thanks.

nowyouresix

Irishbucka: he had whom I'm presuming was his girlfriend in the car with him....God help her if she's impressed !

mikemac1

Just a coward

If you were a 16 stone well built man he wouldn't have dared

Pkiernan

If you feel you were threatened, please report the incident to the Gardai.

I hate driving because of the road rage. Even when wronged, I never give the finger, as much as I might like to.


As an interesting aside, when I am in Arizona, I rarely get grief - slightly different rules regarding self defense here though...

source

nowyouresix wrote: »

johnnyskeleton: he is the one who gave me the fingers first. I didn't initialise any provocation, he did.

Not necessarily true though is it. In your OP you said:

Anyway he was gesturing at me and waving his hands in the air....I think he was giving me the finger, so I gave him the fingers back, and went on.

So he was waving at you and gesturing at you, and you THINK he gave you the finger. Chances are, given his reaction that he didn't give you the finger at all.

jblack

Have I got this correct;

- you were driving on the wrong side of the road and want to know is there anything that can be done because the guy you nearly caused to crash gave you a bollocking?

nowyouresix

jblack: yes I was on that side as I was overtaking a parked car, and when I moved to overtake that car, the road was clear. The other guy came at speed around the corner.
It's fair to say , yea I would have been annoyed to if I were him, but he turned his car, followed me to the local shop and started hurling abuse at me etc.

Anyway. I've got my answer from this thread.

No point in further labouring the issue.

Thanks for your answers and I take all comments on board.

Yawns

We have your word that he was speeding around the corner. Hard to take it as fact as you may be just ever so slightly biased tho no?

You don't know what signal he gave you. He was probably holding his hands up as if to say what the hell where ya doing when you gave him the finger. He followed you to the shop and shouted what's your problem. I don't think he would have shouted that if he gave you the finger first.

You remind me of a girl I know who drives. She nearly caused an accident at a busy cross junction while I was in the passenger seat with her. She was the sole cause of it and other drivers had to avoid her. When they beeped or looked at her what did she do? She gave them the finger and drive on proclaiming her innocence to me. Don't worry there's also men I know who are terrible drivers too.

I hate when it gets turned into a "I'm a woman so this man shouting at me really intimidated me" ****. You were ready enough to tell someone to **** off behind a closed door first when you weren't sure what he was signalling to you.

In answer to your original question of what do you do. It would be a start to not react angrily to situations you are unsure of just like this one. If it happens in future where you are overtaking and the way is not clear, the other driver comes to a stop because of it, just simply hold your hand up in a "I'm sorry / thanks" position and keep going or pull in to let him pass.

MagicSean

If i was coming around a corner and met a car coming towards me on the wrong side and the driver gave me the finger I'd be pretty upset too. I'd likely go after them to get their reg that's for sure.

Discodog

It depends on if he followed you, because that was the direction that he was travelling in, or he changed direction to deliberately follow you. I would notify the Guards because he may be making a habit of threatening people. Personally I think that threatening or abusing a woman is a serious matter.

Yawns

Discodog wrote: »

Personally I think that threatening or abusing a woman is a serious matter.

But it's ok if it was a man he done it to? Personally I think it's not ok to threaten or abuse anybody. But the OP is guilty as well as the man. Maybe the OP needs to not go around giving people the finger when she doesn't have a clue what the other driver signaled to her.

I've on occasion rolled down the window to ask wtf was another driver thinking if he nearly hit me. Once it was a man and twice it was women drivers. The man was bigger than me but I still asked. I didn't shout, but I did say wtf are you thinking.

For the most part I let it go, it would only being extremely stupid situations where I would ask. If I was the male in the OP's story I would brake and just wave her on, which is probably what the guy did. Then the OP says she gave him the finger.

If the OP was a man instead of a woman the replies would have been a lot different. I'm guessing it would have been more along the lines of "oh well you get that in all walks of life, forget it and move on or report it"