minor dumpable offenses

Just went to the freezer and found my boyfriend has eaten my entire, unopened tub of Ben & Jerry's. I wouldn't care, cept it's 3am and I want icecream now and there isn't any. I didn't show him that I'm angry, I said it's ok, but I am RAGING.

What are those minor, meaningless offenses that make you want to kill/dump your OH?

*awaits "toilet seat" whinging. It's a toilet seat. Put it down yourself. He stole my icecream. Unbelievably worse.

ColeTrain

Tell him he betta take his ass to the store and you be tripping.

mikemac1

Deleted User wrote: »

. I didn't show him that I'm angry, I said it's ok, but I am RAGING.

You wimmins

Quit the mixed messages and double speak and "he should be able to read my mind"

If you've got something to say then just come out and say it

ToddyDoody

Unflushed turd requiring toilet brush assistance.

mikemac1

mikemac1 wrote: »

You wimmins

Quit the mixed messages and double speak and "he should be able to read my mind"

If you've got something to say then just come out and say it

It's 3am. There is nothing to be gained by going apesh*t on his ass right now. Better to act sweet so we both get a nice night's sleep.

DEFTLEFTHAND

My GF has a habit of stopping my recordings on sky plus if something is overlapping with her programme. I have felt like murder in the past but thankfully I've restrained myself so far.

ToddyDoody

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Unflushed turd requiring toilet brush assistance.

For real? I have dealt with those and still love him!

Eating my icecream though..... ah, it's not like he just drank my last beer.

Princess Peach

I was texting a guy once and I stopped it when he insulted Arnold Schwatznegger. I just knew right then we weren't meant for each other.

A friend had been with a guy a year and was having a bad time and some doubts. She knew for sure it was over when he bought her vanilla Ben and jerrys, he didn't know her at all.

DEFTLEFTHAND

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

My GF has a habit of stopping my recordings on sky plus if something is overlapping with her programme. I have felt like murder in the past but thankfully I've restrained myself so far.

THAT is dumpable. My younger brother used to do that, and delete my recorded shows too. Smacked him one in the gob for it when I was 28 and he was 25.
That's unforgivable!

(To be fair, my brother didn't understand why I had to record seven seperate episodes of Criminal Minds every day. He didn't fancy Matthew Gray Gubler. Dunno why.)

Rented Mule

Deleted User wrote: »

It's 3am. There is nothing to be gained by going apesh*t on his ass right now. Better to act sweet so we both get a nice night's sleep.

Apparently, you swallow a lot of aggression and ice cream.

CageWager

Deleted User wrote: »

my boyfriend has eaten my entire, unopened tub of Ben & Jerry's

Legend

ColeTrain

Princess Peach wrote: »

I was texting a guy once and I stopped it when he insulted Arnold Schwatznegger. I just knew right then we weren't meant for each other.

'Hasta la vista baby' would have suited your last message very well.

Just told him I have a craving that can't be filled, except by icecream, and he told me to go stand naked in the garden, cause "That'll be cold..... and hot!"

He's so not taking this seriously!

Rented Mule

Rented Mule wrote: »

Apparently, you swallow a lot of aggression and ice cream.

What feckin icecream :mad:

Captain Darling

Princess Peach wrote: »

I was texting a guy once and I stopped it when he insulted Arnold Schwatznegger. I just knew right then we weren't meant for each other.
.

So, he wasnt back?

carbon nanotube

Deleted User wrote: »

Just went to the freezer and found my boyfriend has eaten my entire, unopened tub of Ben & Jerry's. I wouldn't care, cept it's 3am and I want icecream now and there isn't any. I didn't show him that I'm angry, I said it's ok, but I am RAGING.

What are those minor, meaningless offenses that make you want to kill/dump your OH?

*awaits "toilet seat" whinging. It's a toilet seat. Put it down yourself. He stole my icecream. Unbelievably worse.

dip his arm into a bowl of water and take all the bed sheets away from him.

Sharpshooter

Deleted User wrote: »

Just went to the freezer and found my boyfriend has eaten my entire, unopened tub of Ben & Jerry's.

How cool is that?
Ask him from me how he managed it,will you.

Why dump him anyway, think of all those calories he saved you from!;)

mikemac1

A moment on the lips, forever on the hips

Maybe he was trying to tell you something about your late night binges?

Thoughtful guy took away the temptation

Hot Lips

Hot Lips wrote: »

How cool is that?
Ask him from me how he managed it,will you.

Why dump him anyway, think of all those calories he saved you from!;)

I'm skinny I needed those calories!

It's so easy to be a pedantic innit, you all knew what I meant.

mikemac1

mikemac1 wrote: »

A moment on the lips, forever on the hips

Maybe he was trying to tell you something about your late night binges?

Thoughtful guy took away the temptation

He's the fatty, not me!

Maybe cause he ate my icecream.

ColeTrain

Deleted User wrote: »

He's the fatty, not me!

Maybe cause he ate my icecream.

It could be a cry for help then. Deep down he might want you to confront him about his weight.

Do it now and don't hold back. Start be calling him a fat tub of lard.

carefulnow100

Maybe if you were busy doing something else with him at this time of night he wouldn't be up eating your ice cream.


Sort your priorities for this time of the morning!

nice_very

Deleted User wrote: »

Just told him I have a craving that can't be filled, except by icecream, and he told me to go stand naked in the garden, cause "That'll be cold..... and hot!"

He's so not taking this seriously!

hang on to him he is a legend for saying that.......





also, pics :cool:

Adyx

mikemac1 wrote: »

You wimmins

Quit the mixed messages and double speak and "he should be able to read my mind"

If you've got something to say then just come out and say it

This is completely true for so any women. I wish I was able to elaborate as to why, but I just want to go asleep at this stage.

AskMyChocolate

Obviously, there's only one thing to do OP. And myself and DEFTLEFTHAND can help you with it.

All you have to do is keep posting. We're trying to stay awake for the Katie Taylor fight, and you're just the man to get us there.

Just stay awake, from now until 8.00 a.m., smoking his entire stash, and then when he wakes up,gasping, say,"Now, y'know what it's like."

And don't forget to lick the spoon.

\no euphamism intended.

AskMyChocolate

Deleted User wrote: »

Just went to the freezer and found my boyfriend has eaten my entire, unopened tub of Ben & Jerry's. I wouldn't care, cept it's 3am and I want icecream now and there isn't any. I didn't show him that I'm angry, I said it's ok, but I am RAGING.

What are those minor, meaningless offenses that make you want to kill/dump your OH?

*awaits "toilet seat" whinging. It's a toilet seat. Put it down yourself. He stole my icecream. Unbelievably worse.

Hot Lips wrote: »

How cool is that?
Ask him from me how he managed it,will you.

Why dump him anyway, think of all those calories he saved you from!;)

For the last time Hot Lips, MacGyver is gone. He never really existed and he isn't working on an ice-cream gun to come and rescue you.

\"he did so exist"

*sniff*

Banned

Wompa1

Having a period. Pffttt go bleed out you vage somewhere else ya skank

AskMyChocolate

Deleted User wrote: »

For real? I have dealt with those and still love him!

Eating my icecream though..... ah, it's not like he just drank my last beer.

OK. Playtime's over.

forfuxsake

I think getting up at 3am to eat ice-cream is a dumpable offence.

kelle

Back in the 60s, my aunt dumped a boyfriend after his mother told her he suffered from "awful constipation".

And a nutcase relation called off his wedding when his "bride-to-be" let off wind in front of him - we reckon was the luckiest fart she ever let.

Back to the OP, Ben and Jerry's is vile - if my OH ate my Haagen Dazs he would be in big trouble.

SafeSurfer

A major dumping offence would be using the "safe" word less than 5 minutes into a choking session.

Gummy Panda

Smash his xbox/playstation up!

Jesus Shaves

A major dumpable offence would be my girlfriend acting all childish on the internet because i ate her ben and jerry's ice cream

CruelCoin

Deleted User wrote: »

It's 3am. There is nothing to be gained by going apesh*t on his ass right now. Better to act sweet so we both get a nice night's sleep.

Unless he's a complete berk, he probably knows that poisonous "i'm fine" means you are very far from fine.

mikemac1

mikemac1 wrote: »

You wimmins

Quit the mixed messages and double speak and "he should be able to read my mind"

If you've got something to say then just come out and say it

men do this as well and it's just as fcuking annoying

Oh god this thread has me in stitches :pac:

I think I would consider dumping him too OP but he sounds like a ledge

Wibbs

bluewolf wrote: »

men do this as well and it's just as fcuking annoying

True. The bloke with the face like a constipated easter island statue holding it all inside. Yep common enough alright B. bloody irritating with it.

However to be fair, for true mastery in the "I won't tell you how I really feel, as if you loved me you'd be psychic" sport, women beat men hands down, or at least the fairer sex have more highly talented practitioners among their number. Ideal man? George Clooney? Brad Pitt? Naw, Uri Geller with a 4 inch tongue. Though I strongly suspect if you could read that particular personality's mind they'd hate you...

girl in the striped socks

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.



I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

Micky Dolenz

I hate the meaning and word, dump. It sounds like
Something only teenagers should say.

MagicSean

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.



I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

Guest towels? I bet you have cushions on the bed that are not to be used and insist he lies on the side of the pillow without the design. Might I go so far to suggest you "tidy" all his stuff away in places he'd never think to look?

The Big Red Button

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.



I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

No, but he does! :eek:

Hockney

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it.

This guy is an absolute HERO!

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

True. The bloke with the face like a constipated easter island statue holding it all inside. Yep common enough alright B. bloody irritating with it.

However to be fair, for true mastery in the "I won't tell you how I really feel, as if you loved me you'd be psychic" sport, women beat men hands down, or at least the fairer sex have more highly talented practitioners among their number. Ideal man? George Clooney? Brad Pitt? Naw, Uri Geller with a 4 inch tongue. Though I strongly suspect if you could read that particular personality's mind they'd hate you...

Maybe so, but thankfully either the women I know don't seem to do it or I don't know they do it. If you want space to process stuff before discussing it then by all means go ahead but pretending everything is ok with a big sulky face on you - fcuk off!
I do have a friend whose way of dealing with issues like "x keeps asking me to loan her stuff but she keeps losing it so instead of saying anything i'll just keep 'forgetting' to give it to her from now on" and that seems to be common enough
smack!

Wibbs

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I hate the meaning and word, dump. It sounds like
Something only teenagers should say.

Feeling old, outa touch...:P

Gannicus

Princess Peach wrote: »

I was texting a guy once and I stopped it when he insulted Arnold Schwatznegger. I just knew right then we weren't meant for each other.

Watched Commando last night was great craic.

Took my last score outta my wallet to pay a taxi when I was in having a shower. And neither of us get paid till the 1st of the month so I had no smokes or lunch in work the next day. was like a demon.

Another was she was taking sh!te from the fridge and dropped me last beer and it burst.

The coup de grace was she spent €70 getting one side of her head shaved then was all pissy because I didn't like it. Glad I'm single now.

girl in the striped socks

MagicSean wrote: »

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

Pubic hair stuck to the toilet seat by piss.

Guinness scutter stuck to the bowl, apparently he "didn't see it", & no he's not Stevie wonder.

Using the good whiter than white bath towels to step onto after a shower. These towels are only offered to guests so they don't think we're animals, the hundred year old ones we nicked from various hotels will do for us.

Making a sandwich in about five different stages along the counter so there's crumbs & butter everywhere.

Leaving tea bags on the counter.

Walking across a floor I have just washed & polished with mucky boots.

Making himself a fry whilst setting off the smoke alarm & having the gas turned up so high that all the oil spits out all over my cooker.

Pulling the curtains completely crooked.

After a nights drinking stumbling into one of the bathrooms we don't use to get sick & not remembering until I happen to find it. It doesn't happen often to be fair.



I could probably come up with more but I already come across as a complete kunt after the above list.

Guest towels? I bet you have cushions on the bed that are not to be used and insist he lies on the side of the pillow without the design. Might I go so far to suggest you "tidy" all his stuff away in places he'd never think to look?

The cushions can be used but they never are, purely for display purposes at this stage.
He can lie on whatever side of the pillow he wants.
And yes I do tidy his things but everything has a place so it's fairly easy to find.

I sound like a control freak but you have no idea how annoying it is.
Oh I thought of another one, newspapers left in the toilet.

PCPhoto

you sound like my fiancee !!

(except I dont puke in the spare bathroom)

Micky Dolenz

bluewolf wrote: »

Maybe so, but thankfully either the women I know don't seem to do it or I don't know they do it. If you want space to process stuff before discussing it then by all means go ahead but pretending everything is ok with a big sulky face on you - fcuk off!
I do have a friend whose way of dealing with issues like "x keeps asking me to loan her stuff but she keeps losing it so instead of saying anything i'll just keep 'forgetting' to give it to her from now on" and that seems to be common enough
smack!

People act differently infront of their partners though. Friends don't play silly games wih each other but some lovers are forever at it.

Wibbs wrote: »

Feeling old, outa touch...:P

Too right, I used to be hip to the groove now I need a groove in my hip

Crooked Jack

Deleted User wrote: »

Just told him I have a craving that can't be filled, except by icecream, and he told me to go stand naked in the garden, cause "That'll be cold..... and hot!"

He's so not taking this seriously!

He sounds like the coolest dude. I dont even know him and i like him. Count yourself lucky.

Micky Dolenz

girl in the striped socks wrote: »

The cushions can be used but they never are, purely for display purposes at this stage.
He can lie on whatever side of the pillow he wants.
And yes I do tidy his things but everything has a place so it's fairly easy to find.

I sound like a control freak but you have no idea how annoying it is.
Oh I thought of another one, newspapers left in the toilet.

Are we talking about your partner or your child?

Big Steve

Big Steve wrote: »

Another was she was taking sh!te from the fridge and dropped me last beer and it burst.

I seriously need to get my eyes tested. I first read that and was like :eek:
got it the third time :cool: