Had a visitor in the wee small hours last night. WTF!!!

Please Kill Me

Went to bed last night a bit after 12. It was a tough week with with training and other stuff so I was wrecked. Anyway, I went out cold as soon as I hit the bed. My missus woke me in a panic at 3.17am sounding really worried. I was half asleep and heard her saying " There's someone downstairs". I was shocked, didn't know what to think, then I heard the doorbell. It was ringing and ringing. I asked her what she said, and she replied "there's someone downstairs ringing the bell and thumping on the door". So I pulled on a pair of trackie bottoms and went down.

I saw a figure outside the door, leaning against the frame. Again, he rang the bell. He was persistent if nothing else, but I was concerned he'd wake the kids. I opened the door and he tried to come into the house. I was so taken aback. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him backwards away from the door. He started to mumble something, but I just said to him "you're at the wrong house buddy, and you better not wake the kids, f**k off out of it!" He looked confused and looked around him at the cars, then at the house number on the wall and then at me, the smell of drink would peel paint from the walls, he was hammered. I told him again, "go on buddy, beat it!"

I closed the door and locked it, and went into the living room to have a look through the blinds. He stood at the end of the driveway and looked up the street, then down, then back in at the house. Then the biggest shock - he got into a car that was parked outside the house, turned it around (took a fair few attempts!) and drove away.

Seriously, WTF????!!! Gob****e! :mad:

later12

Good Heavens. What next? Junk Mail?

Fenian Army

Should have rang the Gardaí, danger to himself and others.

sunflower27

Your missus has some explaining to do

Seriously, that would have scared the hell out of me.

Pushtrak

Pics or GTFO.

Please Kill Me

later12 wrote: »

Good Heavens. What next? Junk Mail?

I know, right?? :rolleyes:

Fenian Army wrote: »

Should have rang the Gardaí, danger to himself and others.

I did, but without a reg they can't do anything. There were trees blocking my view so all I could tell them was that it was a black 07 Golf TDI.

flutterflye

Why didn't you report it to the guards at the time instead of coming on here the next day to tell us about it?

Jesus Shaves

You should have drowned him with some kind of yellow liquid

Typewriter

Why the hell did you open the door?

Please Kill Me

flutterflye wrote: »

Why didn't you report it to the guards at the time instead of coming on here the next day to tell us about it?

I did!! And I've been away all day and only logged in now. Next question! :P

Typewriter wrote: »

Why the hell did you open the door?

My wife's mother isn't well, we thought (or she did) that it might have been a relative to give us bad news. Apart from that, he was making such a racket I didn't want him waking the baby.

SafeSurfer

Sorry about that OP, I was just collecting a chinese.

Please Kill Me

SafeSurfer wrote: »

Sorry about that OP, I was just collecting a chinese.

LOL, I thought you were another f**king Jehova's witness TBH!!! :pac:

J Cheever Loophole

I was sure this was going to be the joke about getting woke up in the middle of the night with a knock at the door, and a fella standing outside saying he was stuck and needed a push.

You refused and went back to bed but the wife persuaded you to go back down, saying to you, 'that could be you some night!'.

Reluctantly you throw on you, go outside in the cold and shout out in the darkness - "Do you still need a push?"

"Yes" came the reply.

"Where are you?"

"Over here on the swing!"

Fenian Army

Please Kill Me wrote: »

I know, right?? :rolleyes:



I did, but without a reg they can't do anything. There were trees blocking my view so all I could tell them was that it was a black 07 Golf TDI.

good man

some random drunk

I still don't understand why you wouldn't let me in!

J-Fit

Please Kill Me wrote: »

My wife's mother isn't well, we thought (or she did) that it might have been a relative to give us bad news. Apart from that, he was making such a racket I didn't want him waking the baby.

Then a tip for next time. Approach the door and bellow, "WHO's THERE?"

Is not waking the kids really more important than ensuring some psycho can't gain access to your house?

wellboytoo

It's a navy 07 GTI actually

mike65

That silly sausage is probably going to see this thread at some point! (boards is everywhere these days).

LETHAL LADY

Do you live in a rural or urban area OP? Where I live (a small town) even if you had the reg by the time you got a response the pisshead would be tucked up in the leaba or in bits in a ditch somewhere.

GLaDOS

Happened me before, though I was in the house by myself. Didn't answer the door and he went away after a while.

Turns out it was my next door neighbour who had lost his keys

_Whimsical_

Perhaps he took your username Please Kill Me as an invitation but then decided you were looking to make it too much of a challenge and thought better of it.

later12

Please Kill Me wrote: »

I know, right?? :rolleyes:

Whoops. Hadn't read the drink driving part at the end. That changes it alright.

But generally, I don't think arriving at the wrong door drunk is outrageous or particularly bad form. I'm sure many of us have been very drunk and done worse. He was probably just staying at his mates and got confused. Anyway, I'm sure his hangover is appropriate punishment:)

funnilenough

did you happen to be watchin any James Cagney films before you went to bed?

JessicaRabbit

J Cheever Loophole wrote: »

I was sure this was going to be the joke about getting woke up in the middle of the night with a knock at the door, and a fella standing outside saying he was stuck and needed a push.

You refused and went back to bed but the wife persuaded you to go back down, saying to you, 'that could be you some night!'.

Reluctantly you throw on you, go outside in the cold and shout out in the darkness - "Do you still need a push?"

"Yes" came the reply.

"Where are you?"

"Over here on the swing!"

Yes, so did I

Linoge

Went to bed last night a bit after 12. It was a tough week with with training and other stuff so I was wrecked. Anyway, I went out cold as soon as I hit the bed. My missus woke me in a panic at 3.17am sounding really worried. I was half asleep and heard her saying " There's someone downstairs". I was shocked, didn't know what to think, then I heard the doorbell. It was ringing and ringing. I asked her what she said, and she replied "there's someone downstairs ringing the bell and thumping on the door". So I pulled on a pair of trackie bottoms and went down.

I saw a figure outside the door, leaning against the frame. Again, he rang the bell. He was persistent if nothing else, but I was concerned he'd wake the kids. I opened the door and he tried to come into the house. I was so taken aback. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him backwards away from the door. He started to mumble something, but I just said to him "you're at the wrong house buddy, and you better not wake the kids, f**k off out of it!" He looked confused and looked around him at the cars, then at the house number on the wall and then at me, the smell of drink would peel paint from the walls, he was hammered. I told him again, "go on buddy, beat it!"

With that he realised he was at the wrong house. He shook himself up a bit and apologised profusely "I'm so sorry for waking you". "Its ok" I said to him "I had to get up to answer the door anyway"

phasers

one morning I went downstairs and looked through the window in the front door to see if the post had arrived.

There was only some bleedin drunkard asleep in the porch! I rang my next door neighbour to get him to come in and shoo him away, turned out to be a guy who lived around the corner and he was mortified.

LH Pathe

Rule #1 in um circumstance; don't open the door. Yer lucky barlow didn't jump out at ye like a baldy Leo Cullen

Sharpshooter

LH Pathe wrote: »

Rule #1 in um circumstance; don't open the door.

I think it's instinct tbh, it happened to me too.

The dogs went ballistic at about 3am and I looked out the window but couldn't see anyone, tried the peephole thingy and still couldn't see anyone but the dogs were still barking.

So I opened the door, and this guy was standing there....I was like "Go Away!" and he says...Let me In, and tried to come into the house.

Without thinking what I should do I put my foot against his stomach,and pushed him away from the door, I didn't kick him, just pushed him and closed the door.

I went back to the window, and he was walking down the drive looking back and shaking his head, then off he went.

I don't know who gave who the bigger fright.

Shryke

This thread is starting to give me a Night of the Living Dead type vibe.

bdoo

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Happened me before, though I was in the house by myself. Didn't answer the door and he went away after a while.

Turns out it was my next door neighbour who had lost his keys

Happened to me a couple of years ago we were staying with her mother whilecd house was bein built.
There was an unmerciful thumping at the door went to it opened the blind and Derek was the neighbours ould fella mouldy drunk sayin my key won't work. Wrong house buddy says I, he looked at the number on the door and then over at the neighbours house and off he went.

Up I get for work next mornin and out to the car - can't back out through the gate cos his car is parked behind me on the roadway.

LH Pathe

Only time I had a vistor at this time.. n there was only one person who'd call in at any time, anyhow so.. 'twas a case of "guess who".

LH Pathe

Only time I had a vistor at this time.. there was only one person who'd call in at any time anyhow so.. 'twas a case of "guess who".

danniemcq

Looking through the thread and wondering how different it would be if everyone was armed...

3 stories so far about people trying to get into someones house (4 if you include the guy that came into mine and pissed downstairs but housemate was in not me that night) and nearly pushing past.

These guys were hammered and very confused

we'd be fecked in the Zombie War

Andrew Flexing

Pushtrak wrote: »

Pics or GTFO.

seriously? If I was the OP I would have a hurl in my hand and not a camera!

mikemac1

Came home from work last month, watched a bit of TV and fell asleep on the couch

Some junkie, bould as brass wandered in.
Off his head, if you asked him what country he was in I doubt he'd know

Kicked him out, squad car came up later that night but I've heard nothing since and I never expect to hear anything again

My front door doesn't "bang out", it doesn't lock just by closing it.

If I left my door unlocked and got robbed at 3am I'd blame myself
But are things so bad I have to lock myself inside at 7pm on a bright Spring evening :rolleyes:

I tell ya, having someone standing over you while you are asleep leaves you feeling very vunerable

danniemcq

mikemac1 wrote: »

I tell ya, having someone standing over you while you are asleep leaves you feeling very vunerable

especially if you are tied up and gagged

antodeco

danniemcq wrote: »

Looking through the thread and wondering how different it would be if everyone was armed...

3 stories so far about people trying to get into someones house (4 if you include the guy that came into mine and pissed downstairs but housemate was in not me that night) and nearly pushing past.

These guys were hammered and very confused

we'd be fecked in the Zombie War

"Who's there?"
- "BRAAAAIINNNS"
"Ah Brian! Jesus how are ya?"

Arciphel

And he's got his lad in his hand!

sh1tstirrer

Op are you American?

NiallFH

I remember in first and second year uni living in the holy lands (student area in belfast). This kind of thing happened on a weekly basis, for some reason every other fecking drunk thought he lived in my house.

You do expect it in a student area around the corner from a bar though lol

Raiser

Ouch - Poor fella must have gotten some shock, did work change your shift last minute or something?

Kurz

"Beat it, buddy"?

Was this a Jimmy Cagney movie?

mikemac1

Please Kill Me wrote: »

"go on buddy, beat it!"

Were you wearing a suit and fedora and smoking when you said this?

OP, you are coolest man on boards :cool:

Nothingbetter2d

mikemac1 wrote: »

Came home from work last month, watched a bit of TV and fell asleep on the couch

Some junkie, bould as brass wandered in.
Off his head, if you asked him what country he was in I doubt he'd know

Kicked him out, squad car came up later that night but I've heard nothing since and I never expect to hear anything again

My front door doesn't "bang out", it doesn't lock just by closing it.

If I left my door unlocked and got robbed at 3am I'd blame myself
But are things so bad I have to lock myself inside at 7pm on a bright Spring evening :rolleyes:

I tell ya, having someone standing over you while you are asleep leaves you feeling very vunerable

replace the lock with one that does lock automatically when ya close the door

sh1tstirrer

Kurz wrote: »

"Beat it, buddy"?

Was this a Jimmy Cagney movie?

A cross between jimmy Cagney and Michael Jackson.

smash

It would have been great if he'd responded with "I'm not your buddy, pal!"

suicide_circus

Please Kill Me wrote: »

he was hammered. I told him again, "go on buddy, beat it!"

He's not your buddy, guy!

az2wp0sye65487

phasers wrote: »

one morning I went downstairs and looked through the window in the front door to see if the post had arrived.

There was only some bleedin drunkard asleep in the porch! I rang my next door neighbour to get him to come in and shoo him away, turned out to be a guy who lived around the corner and he was mortified.

Bahahahahahahahahaha.....

Duggy747

smash wrote: »

It would have been great if he'd responded with "I'm not your buddy, pal!"

And then respond with:

"I'm not your pal, guy!"

Please Kill Me

sh1tstirrer wrote: »

Op are you American?

God no, why?

misterdeeds

This has happend to me many times before , I live in kilkenny and live quite near a local disco and often had my door knocked on at 3 in the morning and it is dam scary opening the door at that time of the morning and you dont know who is on the other side, you can feel the hairs on your neck standing up and the sweat running down your back .
I remember one night we heard a banging on the door and as before I went down and opened it only to see some lad about 20 ish in his boxers and his jeans beside him on the ground so I said to him you have the wrong house lad and off he went in his boxers in the pissing rain funny looking back tho again scary at the time .