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Monday Funnies

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  • 21-05-2012 10:32am
    #1
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users Posts: 8,300 ✭✭✭


    I asked a gay friend (not you, another one), what's the best way of removing a condom.



    He said "fart"

    ___________________________

    I went to the pub last night and there was this fat lass dancing on a table,

    I walked passed and said, "fecking amazing legs",.

    The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so",

    I said "definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now"!!

    ___________________________

    My son started crying when I gave him his breakfast this morning.

    I only made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup and told him it was Humpty Dumpty.
    ___________________________

    On holiday in Spain recently I saw a sign that said 'English speaking doctor'.

    I thought, what a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?

    ___________________________

    "See those two girls at the bar?" I said to my wife.

    "One of them called you fat."

    "what?!" she exclaimed

    "I read her lips, then I saw her point, and they laughed."

    "Right!" she said, standing up,

    "I'm not having that.

    Here, hold my pies."

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



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