The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

herisson

LyndaMcL wrote: »

If it were me, I wouldn't initiate any more contact. You've apologised, you've initiated contact with the mail, she responded, so leave it to her now.

If I were in her position, I'd get a bit annoyed at another message (and I usually love getting messages!). If you haven't heard from her in a week, then maybe, but not a few days.

And have a happy birthday, mate!

I totally agree! Don't send her another message you have apologised its up to her now!

Dont bombard her with messages as like Lynda said she could get annoyed! dont text her after a few days, leave a decent gap and if you havent heard from her then give her a text.

Happy Birthday

CastorTroy

Armaghmagic wrote: »

He could be goodlooking though which is bound to reduce that. Also if he has his city set to Dublin then I would say its down to 1/5 so good luck! I have neither of the above going in my favour.......doesnt stop me giving it a bash though :-)

So I'll say 1/50 chance since don't fall under either and am in Donegal

POF profile went byebye on Friday night, the guy I met just can't stay away! And I like it. A lot I know he's still on POF but I don't ask him what he's up to, constant reoccurring theme in all our encounters seems to be "We're not a couple, yet, but we want to be and intend to be". I just found myself not bothered chatting to or meeting anyone else any more. And I believe he's not either, mainly cause he seems to be either round at mine, or texting me the whole time! So for now I guess you can chalk us up to another online dating success.

Herrick

Thanks all. I'll leave it till this time next week. I think she's going for a weekend away with a few friends on the Thursday next week so I might just text and say hi and enjoy the trip. Can't really do anything more after that if it doesn't work.

Hate to ask this silly question, but what should I make of her text last night? It was really late and only after I sent that FB message, does it sound like she make be pondering things?

riveratom

Herrick wrote: »

Thanks all. I'll leave it till this time next week. I think she's going for a weekend away with a few friends on the Thursday next week so I might just text and say hi and enjoy the trip. Can't really do anything more after that if it doesn't work.

Hate to ask this silly question, but what should I make of her text last night? It was really late and only after I sent that FB message, does it sound like she make be pondering things?

Don't make anything of it man, just be cool and sit back and see what happens

Sarah**

riveratom wrote: »

Don't make anything of it man, just be cool and sit back and see what happens

I agree with RT, Chill out. You are over thinking this. Let her have her space and if she is pondering the weekend and your message then she will get in touch. I fear that because you are regretting how the arguements unfolded and feeling so uneasy that you may flood her. If someone is flooding me with messages... I tend to shut down and run away..

Take a deep breath and make lots of plans this weekend so you dont have any down time to over think it or be tempted into contacting her. Maybe even delete the number. You have done all you can... If she wants to text, she will.

Galvasean

Morgoth wrote: »

Lads - I am wondering, what is the average message-to-reply ratio?

I'd say I get a 1 in 10 rate of reply or thereabouts. That's a single reply mind you. About a third of these again don't message back a second time. Of those that do reply more than once the majority would generally go on a date wit me.
So, by my rubbish maths calculations that's about a 6% chance of getting to date a girl I message.
Message 100 girls... 600% chance of date! :pac:

riveratom

Galvasean wrote: »

I'd say I get a 1 in 10 rate of reply or thereabouts. That's a single reply mind you. About a third of these again don't message back a second time. Of those that do reply more than once the majority would generally go on a date wit me.
So, by my rubbish maths calculations that's about a 6% chance of getting to date a girl I message.
Message 100 girls... 600% chance of date! :pac:

And something else to remember is that I would say a load of messages go unopened as well, I'm sure there are plenty of girls who get 100s of messages a week! So to even reply to the ones you like the look of is prob a job in itself.

Herrick

Oh there's no fear of me contacting her anyway. I know enough to realize that anymore contact will only annoy her and push her further into the opposite direction.

Just wanted some outside opinions, its hard to look at these things when your in the middle.

Hardonraging

Herrick wrote: »

Oh there's no fear of me contacting her anyway. I know enough to realize that anymore contact will only annoy her and push her further into the opposite direction.

Just wanted some outside opinions, its hard to look at these things when your in the middle.

It's always worth asking, even the best of us who give out the greatest of advice sometimes dont always see what's in front of our faces..

I'm sure she will come back, if you give her time.. Patients is key, something many people dont have a lot of ..

Galvasean

riveratom wrote: »

And something else to remember is that I would say a load of messages go unopened as well,

Oh I'd say mine are read alright. 90%+ of the girls I message look at my profile after I message them (coz I so pwetty! :pac:), but like I said only few respond (coz I iz st00pid ).

Herrick

Hmmm the more I mull it over the more I think I'm just gonna leave it. I noticed she just joined PoF, so I think its pastures a new for her unfortunately. She's not a multi dater (she didnt bother with site we met on once we started talking) and don't really see her using it if she was thinking of coming round.

Have her num deleted and am just gonna label it a lost cause and forget about it I think. Otherwise I'd be checking the phone every now and again wondering. Plus, there's not anything more I can say or do really. Just wish she hadn't text there last night, have to admit it kinda got the hopes up. Hopefully I'll get over this bit of a downer quickly ha.

Thanks for the advice anyway guys.

cantdecide

Galvasean wrote: »

Oh I'd say mine are read alright. 90%+ of the girls I message look at my profile after I message them (coz I so pwetty! :pac:), but like I said only few respond (coz I iz st00pid ).

Ditto

Larianne

blacklilly wrote: »

Has anyone ever seen someone off a dating site that they never met but just recognised them from their pictures?

Yep, 3 times! Two of the guys I saw in near enough the same location! :pac:

Honey-ec wrote: »

Well I had absolute RUCTIONS with a POF squeeze that I'd been seeing on and off since June on Sunday. Don't think I'll be hearing from him again. Which is absolute pants because out of all the dates I've been on from POF, this is the one guy I really, really liked.

Sigh.

Ah, I think if you leave it a few days and call him and explain you may get things back on track. After how many dates?

It's tricky. I mean, how do you bring up the subject of stopping your online activity?

Herrick wrote: »

Hmmm the more I mull it over the more I think I'm just gonna leave it. I noticed she just joined PoF, so I think its pastures a new for her unfortunately. She's not a multi dater (she didnt bother with site we met on once we started talking) and don't really see her using it if she was thinking of coming round.

Have her num deleted and am just gonna label it a lost cause and forget about it I think. Otherwise I'd be checking the phone every now and again wondering. Plus, there's not anything more I can say or do really. Just wish she hadn't text there last night, have to admit it kinda got the hopes up. Hopefully I'll get over this bit of a downer quickly ha.

Thanks for the advice anyway guys.

Did you guys only meet up the once?

If she's signed up to POF don't expect to hear from her again. I think her wishing you a Happy Birthday was her trying to be nice on parting company.

cantdecide

Larianne wrote: »

Yep, 3 times! Two of the guys I saw in near enough the same location! :pac: oh, I think if you leave it a few days and call him and explain you may get things back on track. After how many dates? It's tricky. I mean, how do you bring up the subject of stopping your online activity?

I was leaving a coffee shop once and a nice enough girl I couldn't place said hi. I realised after that I'd contacted her on POF and she didn't reply. I've seen people in the street that I recognise from POF and OKC.

Herrick

Yeah got a text there just now saying the mind wouldn't be changed. Tbh it's a downer knowing the only thing that ruined it was my behavior, but at the same time a relief than all this messing about wondering.

Yes we met once but were Skyping all day every day for a few weeks before and clicked really well. She said it would def have gone onto full blown relationship from her side but for the way I acted.

I have her removed in every aspect and feel a bit better thankfully after doing that.

At least I can forget about it completely now.

cantdecide

That's a shame man. I really feel for you. Just learn from it. It's all you can do at this stage. At least it's all amicable.

mood

Herrick wrote: »

Yeah got a text there just now saying the mind wouldn't be changed. Tbh it's a downer knowing the only thing that ruined it was my behavior, but at the same time a relief than all this messing about wondering.

Yes we met once but were Skyping all day every day for a few weeks before and clicked really well. She said it would def have gone onto full blown relationship from her side but for the way I acted.

I have her removed in every aspect and feel a bit better thankfully after doing that.

At least I can forget about it completely now.

What did you do?

Herrick

mood wrote: »

What did you do?

There, sorry couldn't be typing it all out again. It's all on the previous page along with the advice the others were giving me with those posts if your interested.

Herrick wrote: »

Yep I had a lot of stuff on top of me and we got into silly arguments over text over nothing. She said she got over it and still wanted to see me. She was even saying to me how she had told her friends all about me and was even thinking about what to get for my birthday this week, I mean this was all from just texting and Skyping. Even better when we were only chatting a week, I had to go into hospital for a night near where she was and she was going to come visit me. I know ye might think she was a little forward but she was very sweet in fairness.

We met spent all Saturday holding hands, kissing, even cilled at hers and she was cuddling upto me on her bed. SHe said she was very happy with how it was going. But she said she wanted to give me a chance by meeting but she kinda felt a bit like she'd be walking on egg shells around after those occasions. It was totally out of character for me but I understood tbh and am ashamed and bummed out

I even have a few other girls giving me their nums/Skype now but I'm not really in form now.

Herrick wrote: »

Oh we talked about it in person before I left. She's had exes that were quick to give out to her/accuse her over stuff. Basically the really jealous type and she's worried that cause I went off at her so easy any little thing she might do would set me off. I tried to explain it was out of character but she said she was afraid of getting too into me, then having to break up with me if I turned out to be like that. I left Sat night, she said she needed time to think.

She text early Sun morning saying she wouldn't be comfortable. I said I really liked her and it wouldn't happen again but she said she'll text if she feels different, but her mind is set for now I just said ok to get in contact any time if she wants. I don't want to pester her and look like a right psycho.

Herrick wrote: »

Well I sent her a nice long message apologizing and explaining my silly behavior on FB. I said I knew she had made up her mind and I didn't want a reply to the message just wanted to get it off my chest. She was online as I sent it as it showed as read.

A few minutes later, I got a text off her wishing me a happy birthday. We exchanged a few messages of chit chat and then she said night, this was at like 12.30am.

My feckin heart was in my mouth when I saw her number come up. I don't really know what to take from it. I'm just putting it down to her being friendly otherwise I'll only get my hopes up. Although I don't think she would have text but for my email.

I said I hoped she didn't feel she had to text me because of my message. She said no that she knew it was my birthday and wanted to wish me a happy one.

Don't really think there's anything more I can do at this stage. Would it maybe be worth waiting a few days and send a simple "how are you doing" text the weekend or something? Or should I leave it?

Varied

I've seen "looking for my christian grey" along with "Christian grey has changed my expectations", once I looked up to see who this person was, I give up the last bit of faith in humanity.

Galvasean

Varied wrote: »

I've seen "looking for my christian grey" along with "Christian grey has changed my expectations", once I looked up to see who this person was, I give up the last bit of faith in humanity.

That took me by surprise too. Oh well, time to practice mentally abusing my potential dates. :cool:

herisson

Varied wrote: »

I've seen "looking for my christian grey" along with "Christian grey has changed my expectations", once I looked up to see who this person was, I give up the last bit of faith in humanity.

Please tell me you are joking?? :eek:

That is really weird, its a fictional character ffs and the books are shite anyway :pac:

cantdecide

Varied wrote: »

I've seen "looking for my christian grey" along with "Christian grey has changed my expectations", once I looked up to see who this person was, I give up the last bit of faith in humanity.

WTFF?

Varied

No word of a joke. Seen it on a few, it's replacing the "tall dark and handsome" along with the rest of the cliches.

herisson

Varied wrote: »

No word of a joke. Seen it on a few, it's replacing the "tall dark and handsome" along with the rest of the cliches.

Women like that need to grown up, its a fictional character.....he isnt real!!! I dont get it they are basing their standards and what they what in a man, on a man who does not exist. Its ridiculous!

Varied

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Women like that need to grown up, its a fictional character.....he isnt real!!! I dont get it they are basing their standards and what they what in a man, on a man who does not exist. Its ridiculous!

Ah come on let's start being realistic here, a lot I woman love a bastard, simple as.

CastorTroy

So all men are meant to be like a character in a book that the majority of guys never read?

herisson

Varied wrote: »

Ah come on let's start being realistic here, a lot I woman love a bastard, simple as.

That is true, but personally its something i dont understand. Im not 15 anymore, i dont go after guys who are complete pricks who i think i can change, i dont do that! I know a tonne of girls (myself included unfortunately) who have and they have come crying to me over it when it ends and all i can say is, well ye knew what he was like, its your own fault!

I am being harsh but at the same time its the truth. Im not saying you are wrong, you are in fact quite right! But the point im making is the fact that it is a fictional character, its based on some womans imagination. And like CastorTroy said, the majority of men havent read it, so they dont even know what they are supposedly suppose to model themselves on!

Busy Lizzie

Well Im back!!! Back to the world of POF and questioning why already!
I've been back reading this thread for the past month to get encouragement. There have been a few success stories so I'll stick with it!

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Women like that need to grown up, its a fictional character.....he isnt real!!! I dont get it they are basing their standards and what they what in a man, on a man who does not exist. Its ridiculous!

Well actually there are a LOT of guys claiming to be Christian Grey on their profiles...so it's not just women who "need to grow up"!

Varied

Busy Lizzie wrote: »

Well Im back!!! Back to the world of POF and questioning why already!
I've been back reading this thread for the past month to get encouragement. There have been a few success stories so I'll stick with it!



Well actually there are a LOT of guys claiming to be Christian Grey on their profiles...so it's not just women who "need to grow up"!

/facepalm

Anyways, I keep going back for more punishment so I suppose I should be used to it.