The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Larianne

Sure any reference to that book is a good marker for people to go in the opposite direction!

herisson

Busy Lizzie wrote: »

Well Im back!!! Back to the world of POF and questioning why already!
I've been back reading this thread for the past month to get encouragement. There have been a few success stories so I'll stick with it!



Well actually there are a LOT of guys claiming to be Christian Grey on their profiles...so it's not just women who "need to grow up"!

Oh really?? I gave up on OD a few weeks ago so i havent really noticed!

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

Sure any reference to that book is a good marker for people to go in the opposite direction!

I suppose we can siphon off the wannabe Christian Grey boys with the want to be mentally abused girls and send them on their merry way, leaving more space for sane people.
In seriousness though, I'm glad the aforementioned girls are so upfront about what they are looking for in a man. Better to be able to see it on their profile than find out later! :eek:

seeker11

Listen to this for a tale of OD woe. Met a guy around eight weeks ago and got on well... So continued meeting. After a couple of weeks saw he was still online so said it to him and he cancelled his profile.
Then, we both wanted a holiday so discussed it and decided to go together, for me a convenience thing but also because I found him interesting and enjoyed his easy company. A few days after the booking (last week) he was acting strange, so then he asks me if can we cancel the holiday, he's met someone else and it would be strange for her if he went.
Lousy. I know it was fast... But we had a good discussion before we booked! Feel so pissed off and now left either going by myself cos at this stage none of my friends/family can go (which is why I was going with him in the first place). Feel so let down.

cantdecide

Far from ideal but these things can happen even between people with the best of intentions...

I think you should go by yourself (assuming it's safe). My sister's just back from Indonesia. Travelling alone can be a liberating experience. Having said that, you probably won't have a problem finding someone to take his place the way the weather's been here.

newbee22

That is mad that girls are looking for Christian Gray types it does explain why ive seen profiles of guys claiming to be like him though! Also a lot of guys claiming they want to be dominated are popping up recently too!

silvervixen84

Sorry to hear that seeker11. If it's booked and you can't cancel it, go anyway! I went on a city break to Stockholm a couple of years ago by myself and had a blast. I met lots of interesting people and even nabbed a date while out there

My date last night went really well. Probably meeting up again this weekend

wobblyknees

It's fair to say if any of the following or similar statements are made, I quickly lose interest in reading.....

Looking for my christian grey
Here for a good time not a long time
Love my girlies
Love going out with my girlies
Love a bottle of wine and a dvd
Love going for long walks
Love going to the cinema
Love my nights out and my nights in
I'm a party girl
I'm always up for a laugh

Northclare

Id love to see a profile with....

I have an open mind.
I don't mind guys having female friends.
I love animals.
I like surfing and sometimes I go fishing as it's good to get out in the open air.
I like going out with my friends socialising,but I'm not a wannabe socialite.
I'm an avid gardener and grow my own.
I like weekends away.
Reading is good too.
I get on well with most people...

There are profiles like that but one has to weed out the superficial ones.

GrumPy

Northclare wrote: »

I have an open mind.
I don't mind guys having female friends.
I love animals.
I like surfing and sometimes I go fishing as it's good to get out in the open air.
I like going out with my friends socialising,but I'm not a wannabe socialite.
I'm an avid gardener and grow my own.
I like weekends away.
Reading is good too.
I get on well with most people...

• ctrl+a
• ctrl+c
• pof.com - edit profile
• ctrl+v
• update

:pac:

cantdecide

Any reference to "vino" drives me potty cos it's like wine but dead classy like cos it's forn like...

wobblyknees

Rightly or wrongly, in my mind, when girls talk about vino, mr grey, girlies, dvd's, having a laugh, nights out etc. The question I am asking myself is, is that it?

cantdecide

wobblyknees wrote: »

Rightly or wrongly, in my mind, when girls talk about vino, mr grey, girlies, dvd's, having a laugh, nights out etc. The question I am asking myself is, is that it?

I'll always work to find common ground with people but fundamentally, I'm an introvert. I accept this about myself but I don't understand why people seem to want to go to great lengths to demonstrate how outrageous they are. It's like a badge of honour. Like they're super well-adjusted because they're outgoing and go clubbing every weekend? This seems very important in our culture for some reason.

In other news I got an unsolicited mail from a very cute redhead last night. All faith in OD restored!!

Hardonraging

wobblyknees wrote: »

Rightly or wrongly, in my mind, when girls talk about vino, mr grey, girlies, dvd's, having a laugh, nights out etc. The question I am asking myself is, is that it?

I would say no... It's tough to descrivbe you're self and the like's and dislike's a person has .. Personally i'd never judge a book by it's cover ( and i'm sooooo glad i didn't !! ) , get to know somebody regardless of what their profile says, you may just be surprised...

gem81

Quick question - When you hide your profile on POF - can previous people that have messaged you still send you messages or does your profile look like its totally gone?
Thanks

Hardonraging

gem81 wrote: »

Quick question - When you hide your profile on POF - can previous people that have messaged you still send you messages or does your profile look like its totally gone?
Thanks

Previous people can msg you as far as i know .. however nobody will be able to find you, unless they have the link to your profile ..

Sarah**

It's funny I heard someone say that he thought by my photos and profile that I was high maintenance... Nice. Furthest thing from high maintenance! lol

I would agree thought, don't judge a book by the cover. Profiles are tough to write...particularly if you're not that comfortable in your own skin or have little confidence so give someone the benefit of the doubt. You may be pleasantly surprised.

cantdecide

I suppose my problem is the opposite. I don't feel I'm doing the discriminating here because I could message these girls all day long and never get a reply. I think the most (truly) confident and outgoing people in my life are among the most thoughtful too. I suppose it's a question of who's confident enough to embrace diversity and who's just pretending. I don't know. Experience has taught me to be wary about the ones who wish to appear super confident and outgoing in the OD world.

Honey-ec

gem81 wrote: »

Quick question - When you hide your profile on POF - can previous people that have messaged you still send you messages or does your profile look like its totally gone?
Thanks

Only if they still have the conversation in their inbox. If they've deleted it, they won't be able to find you if they go searching for you.

wobblyknees

Hardonraging wrote: »

I would say no... It's tough to descrivbe you're self and the like's and dislike's a person has .. Personally i'd never judge a book by it's cover ( and i'm sooooo glad i didn't !! ) , get to know somebody regardless of what their profile says, you may just be surprised...

I very much do not judge a book by its cover. The thing is, if all you have to go on are the above statements, it can be a little difficult to find common ground and start a conversation.

Hardonraging

wobblyknees wrote: »

I very much do not judge a book by its cover. The thing is, if all you have to go on are the above statements, it can be a little difficult to find common ground and start a conversation.

I wasnt directing my reply at you, more of an in general statement really, I fully appreciate it can be difficult to start a convo.... why not ask her what her fav movie is ? fav wine is ? fav part of the 50 shades trilogy was, heck why not try and make her laugh, and failing all that, ask her if she want to hit the town some night for a good old fashioned session on the beer ..

Just as a few suggestions off the very top of my head ..

seeker11

silvervixen84 wrote: »

Sorry to hear that seeker11. If it's booked and you can't cancel it, go anyway! I went on a city break to Stockholm a couple of years ago by myself and had a blast. I met lots of interesting people and even nabbed a date while out there

My date last night went really well. Probably meeting up again this weekend

Thanks for the replies...
Yep I wouldn't mind going by myself, but have actually done a good bit of travelling by myself in the past couple of years so was looking forward to going with someone and chilling out!
Strange the way things change apparently in a few days. Just wish he'd waited until after the holiday! I'm sure something will work out for me. And it's fully non-refundable.

silvervixen84

seeker11 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies...
Yep I wouldn't mind going by myself, but have actually done a good bit of travelling by myself in the past couple of years so was looking forward to going with someone and chilling out!
Strange the way things change apparently in a few days. Just wish he'd waited until after the holiday! I'm sure something will work out for me. And it's fully non-refundable.

I suppose the way to look at it is, if you had gone on the holiday together, had a great time and THEN he said he said he'd met someone else it would be even more disappointing.

Line up the next date

CastorTroy

silvervixen84 wrote: »

I suppose the way to look at it is, if you had gone on the holiday together, had a great time and THEN he said he said he'd met someone else it would be even more disappointing.

Line up the next date

Look for activity partner, or just add a line in your profile offering a trip away to the first lucky lad to reply that takes your fancy. :P Where's it to? I've vacation time to take.

Seriously though, was just going to ask, do messages get deleted from your inbox after a while?

As for women talking about the girlies and all, it's annoying when they imply being out every night, especially when they say in the same profile that they're sick of the pub/club scene.

wobblyknees

Hardonraging wrote: »

I wasnt directing my reply at you, more of an in general statement really, I fully appreciate it can be difficult to start a convo.... why not ask her what her fav movie is ? fav wine is ? fav part of the 50 shades trilogy was, heck why not try and make her laugh, and failing all that, ask her if she want to hit the town some night for a good old fashioned session on the beer ..

Just as a few suggestions off the very top of my head ..

Well, I'd have no interest in hitting the town for a session on the beer! Haha.

All joking aside, reading between the lines, what you are saying is, pretend to be interested in what they are interested in. I like it.

Sarah**

To be honest, I find taking an interest in something they are interested in or being inquisitive about it is something I enjoy. If someone has a hobby I know nothing about, I genuinely enjoy getting to know more about it...

Galvasean

I think what people are getting at re: profiles that say they enjoy watching a DVD, hanging out with their friends etc... is that it really tells you sweet buzz all about a person as an individual. I mean, I can't imagine there are many who don't. "Oh you have friends! I too have friends... We have so much in common!" For all intents and purposes you might as well be telling people you have legs.
Now, if somebody mentioned that they do say, rock climbing, while I don't do it myself it's certainly a point of interest that tells you something about a person that isn't obscenely common and could act as a nice conversation piece.

Sarah**

Or fishing for example... I would have absolutely no intention or interest in taking this up but I find the whole fascination and method to it, enjoyable to learn about and listen to.

I think it's great when you meet someone with a hobby who is clearly passionate about it and that in itself is more of an attribute then the hobbie itself...

Larianne

CastorTroy wrote: »

Seriously though, was just going to ask, do messages get deleted from your inbox after a while?

On PoF, its 20 days.

Galvasean wrote: »

I think what people are getting at re: profiles that say they enjoy watching a DVD, hanging out with their friends etc... is that it really tells you sweet buzz all about a person as an individual. I mean, I can't imagine there are many who don't. "Oh you have friends! I too have friends... We have so much in common!" For all intents and purposes you might as well be telling people you have legs.
Now, if somebody mentioned that they do say, rock climbing, while I don't do it myself it's certainly a point of interest that tells you something about a person that isn't obscenely common and could act as a nice conversation piece.

:pac:

What those profiles read to me is, that they are rather boring. But then that's just me. I prefer being out and about and trying new things. It may suit others down to the ground.

Hardonraging

wobblyknees wrote: »

Well, I'd have no interest in hitting the town for a session on the beer! Haha.

All joking aside, reading between the lines, what you are saying is, pretend to be interested in what they are interested in. I like it.

Dont ! that's not what im saying.

Perhaps it's my understanding of how a normal relationship works, but reguardless of how much you like / dislike the other person's hobbies, i'd always ask and involve my self in them, i'd never immerse my self in them, but i'd always show that i'm interested.

It's a little thing called support, turns out women love it !