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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**
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@Larianne,
I just wasn't attracted to them in their photos. But I have around 5 emailing me now, and I have no intention of meeting them. I am just being polite replying
The only few I was attracted to by their photos didn't reply to me
. So what does that say about me hahaha..... aiming too high..... 0 -
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Hardonraging wrote: »Alright guys, let's try and swap out the negativity, nobody's forcing you to talk to these girls ... so try and keep things positive plz ...
Any body manage to organise a few date's for the weekend ? I know one of two have said it in private so let's hope we have a few good ? / nice stories after the weekend ...
I've lost track of which date number this is with my crush so, we'll say it's Date X, a lot of planning going in to this one to night ... but i'm sure i can achieve what i've set out to do ..
I've noticed an emerging tendency on the thread, to basically try to sideline/silence anyone who isn't bounding about the place with positivity, in relation to their current or past experiences with OD. Is it too much to ask, to be allowed give an honest appraisal of your experiences of the subject under discussion on the thread, without being told to be quiet, cancel dates or take a rain check on the whole thing?
I've made the point before, that OD is a completely difference experience for men than it is for women. It's not lost on me, how it seems that its guys on the thread who have lost faith or are rapidly losing faith in OD, and its women on the thread who are telling people to take a rain check on it if they are not happy with the results, etc?
Any chance it just is a lot more complicated and intricate than dating in the real world, and on that basis, just not worth the hassle, for guys anyway?0 -
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HellFireClub wrote: »I've noticed an emerging tendency on the thread, to basically try to sideline/silence anyone who isn't bounding about the place with positivity, in relation to their current or past experiences with OD. Is it too much to ask, to be allowed give an honest appraisal of your experiences of the subject under discussion on the thread, without being told to be quiet, cancel dates or take a rain check on the whole thing?
I've made the point before, that OD is a completely difference experience for men than it is for women. It's not lost on me, how it seems that its guys on the thread who have lost faith or are rapidly losing faith in OD, and its women on the thread who are telling people to take a rain check on it if they are not happy with the results, etc?
Any chance it just is a lot more complicated and intricate than dating in the real world, and on that basis, just not worth the hassle, for guys anyway?
The reason some people are annoyed at just how much negativity is being posted is because it's generally the same people posting negatively for a few weeks at a time, posting pretty much the same rants all the time, and generally insulting women (I'm not saying that you in particular are, I'm saying this in general terms).
Plenty of women have complained, and plenty of men have complained. But most do it in a constructive way, not in having several massive rants. At the end of the day, if you ARE unhappy to the point where you're writing regular rants (again, not aimed at you in particular!), why bother?
I got sick of it, so I took a break for a month. Didn't delete my profiles, but took a break. Went back, ended up on a date with the first guy who messaged me (who also happened to not be anything like my type - he uses constant text speak, wasn't my type looks-wise, not a hell of a lot in common bar a love of science), now have a boyfriend. Going in with a positive attitude can make all the difference.0 -
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HellFireClub wrote: »I think that's the very point I'm actually trying to make here. Why are so many people joining a dating site, with what appears to be a serious attitude problem in respect of people that they are trying to attract? I think it's a fair question to ask, and I can't do anything about my gender, as a straight guy, where I'm referring to profiles who are authored by women. Do guys have profiles up where there are a load of silly qualification attached? If so, sure say so...
You're doing the same thing with regards to a lack of a positive attitude, in complaining so much about those people, though.
If somebody looks like your type, has similar interests and hobbies, but has a profile that turns you off straight away, stop complaining about it. Instead, be glad you're not wasting any time on that person. Turn it into a positive, because your lack of positivity now is the same as those you see on narcissistic profiles.0 -
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You're doing the same thing with regards to a lack of a positive attitude, in complaining so much about those people, though.
If somebody looks like your type, has similar interests and hobbies, but has a profile that turns you off straight away, stop complaining about it. Instead, be glad you're not wasting any time on that person. Turn it into a positive, because your lack of positivity now is the same as those you see on narcissistic profiles.
That's simply not true. I've had plenty of success with it within the last fortnight (based on having a positive attitude towards it and this was evident in my profile), and if I pursued the dates that had been organised, I'd have been doing little else for the next week other than going on a series of dates. But for me, that really isn't something that I feel comfortable with. Where is the problem with someone saying that on the thread? That there are aspects of OD that do not sit well with someone?
Also, with regard to the frustrations felt where a user has a profile that in one sense ticks a load of boxes, but in another sense, childishly pushes many people away on the basis of a series of petty whims being set out, that also appears to be a norm on the website, where is the problem with commenting upon that, on a thread that is for discussing OD? 0 -
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HellFireClub wrote: »That's simply not true. I've had plenty of success with it within the last fortnight (based on having a positive attitude towards it and this was evident in my profile), and if I pursued the dates that had been organised, I'd have been doing little else for the next week other than going on a series of dates. But for me, that really isn't something that I feel comfortable with. Where is the problem with someone saying that on the thread? That there are aspects of OD that do not sit well with someone?
Also, with regard to the frustrations felt where a user has a profile that in one sense ticks a load of boxes, but in another sense, childishly pushes many people away on the basis of a series of petty whims being set out, that also appears to be a norm on the website, where is the problem with commenting upon that, on a thread that is for discussing OD?
I understand the frustration you feel HFC, and i'm sure it must get to you also, seems it does based on a lot of the post's here, but i also see a lot of people offering great advice, and support your way ....
I think the main problem right now is what's generally known as Broken Record Syndrome, yes we get that, these little quirk's annoy you, and others !! but why not just let it go .. i cant see how ranting about it helps on here to anyone, bar getting the other lads riled up also, and in turn we see post's from them giving out that they get on replies what so ever.0 -
HellFireClub wrote: »Also, with regard to the frustrations felt where a user has a profile that in one sense ticks a load of boxes, but in another sense, childishly pushes many people away on the basis of a series of petty whims being set out, that also appears to be a norm on the website, where is the problem with commenting upon that, on a thread that is for discussing OD?
I wouldn't be overly concerned with any "petty whims" listed in any profile. Much like people tend to put the very best pictures of them in their profiles, they also tend to overemphasise their strengths and grossly exaggerate their "minimum requirements".
To be perfectly honest, I pay absolutely no attention to such qualifiers. For example, if I like a profile and they say they are looking for someone outside of my age group, I still email them anyway, not mentioning it at all (i.e. not saying "I know you're looking for someone younger/older etc). I would sidestep it altogether and just focus on capturing her imagination and interest. If it's genuinely an issue for them, then they will bring up the subject again in their reply or simply won't write back to you. You'd be surprised how often it's NOT an issue.
Simply put, recognise the absolute bullshit in many profiles, ignore it for the most part and mail whoever you want without any fear.
Remember that everyone is in the same boat, male or female. If anyone was that amazing, they wouldn't be on the site because they would have been snapped up by now! So don't let anyone look down on you or make you feel bad about not living up to superficial expectations!0 -
HellFireClub wrote: »That's simply not true. I've had plenty of success with it within the last fortnight (based on having a positive attitude towards it and this was evident in my profile), and if I pursued the dates that had been organised, I'd have been doing little else for the next week other than going on a series of dates. But for me, that really isn't something that I feel comfortable with. Where is the problem with someone saying that on the thread? That there are aspects of OD that do not sit well with someone?
Also, with regard to the frustrations felt where a user has a profile that in one sense ticks a load of boxes, but in another sense, childishly pushes many people away on the basis of a series of petty whims being set out, that also appears to be a norm on the website, where is the problem with commenting upon that, on a thread that is for discussing OD?
Why not just arrange one date at a time if you don't want to multi day? That's what I do.0 -
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. This discussion has been closed.
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