The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

singlesnights

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Am seriously considering closing my POF account. No messages whatsoever on it.

Are you mailing many girls on the site?

CastorTroy

ViveLaVie wrote: »

How tall are you? I'm very short and like men of all heights but I am particularly attracted to tall men...

I have gone out with men over a foot taller than me before :-P

I'm 5' 10". And honestly, I've no problem with height. Though I do remember a number of years ago being out with someone who I knew beforehand and this was second time out together without others. But then I became really aware of thinking how to try to give her a kiss while trying to be subtle in case she rejects. She was about 5 foot. But that whole thing was partially my fault, being that I tend to overthink things

seachto7

@singlesnights

are you a professional dater or something? Jaysus, that's some effort just to get a date........

Ah_Yeah

Just got this message on POF:

"Stunner hi"


I don't even

singlesnights

seachto7 wrote: »

@singlesnights

are you a professional dater or something? Jaysus, that's some effort just to get a date........

Well I organise monthly Singles Nights in Dublin so it's work-related.

I started about 7 years ago when I joined Anotherfriend.com. After going on a few awkward dates (no chemistry whatsoever), I decided that it would be a good idea to organise an event through which I could meet loads of women on 1 night, as opposed to lots of hit and miss dates with women I might not actually fancy when I meet them!

I organised my first one in the Odeon on a cold Tuesday night back in 2005. Over 100 people from AF showed up and it was a fantastic night. I've been doing them ever since and get between 250-500 people at each event every month.

Armaghmagic

I have nothing against women of 5ft3 and shorter, just seem to be very few women above that height. I am just over 5ft11. Again my female friends say that a lot of men on it are quite short i.e 5ft7 and shorter

singlesnights

Armaghmagic wrote: »

I have nothing against women of 5ft3 and shorter, just seem to be very few women above that height. I am just over 5ft11. Again my female friends say that a lot of men on it are quite short i.e 5ft7 and shorter

Height certainly tends to more of an issue for women than men.

I'm 6ft2. My preference would be 5ft6 upwards but I have dated lots of women who were shorter and it's never been a problem.

cantdecide

I'm quite tall and I've never felt it to be an advantage. Just another box to tick. I was briefly seeing a girl of 5'2" and it was difficult but not a problem. I was also seeing a girl who was a 6'1" redhead and it was wonderful... come to think of it, apart from her, all of my flings have been with girls <5'6".

rebelwoman

Wait for it - the height issue is going to start off major controversy again with regard to OD!!

mood

rebelwoman wrote: »

Wait for it - the height issue is going to start off major controversy again with regard to OD!!

Oh God no :rolleyes:

Galvasean

Never stopped me, and I'm a shortarse :pac:

miec

I know people laugh at them, ie: the cock pictures or the sexually explicit e-mails but they really freak me out, I just got one there and when I get them I just usually delete my account but I don't want to let them ****s get the better of me.

Galvasean

miec wrote: »

I know people laugh at them, ie: the cock pictures or the sexually explicit e-mails but they really freak me out, I just got one there and when I get them I just usually delete my account but I don't want to let them ****s get the better of me.

Report the mails. That way you get THEIR accounts deleted. Leaves more roo for genuine people.

miec

Thanks for that, I will do, I had just blocked the person but I will report them as well.

TrustedApple

Went back on dateing sites again after kind of seeing a girl for a bit.

Anyway i met up with a girl of PoF and it all went ok. Went for a meal chatted for a good bit after words. Notting came from it as we had notting really in common

But have had notting since then on PoF.

I am wondering what is a good paid site for a 20 year old to be on thanks

singlesnights

samapple789 wrote: »

I am wondering what is a good paid site for a 20 year old to be on thanks

I would recommend you check out Match (www.match.com)

cantdecide

Galvasean wrote: »

Been mailing a girl back n' forth for a while now. Just realised she's on the other side of the country...

Question for yis all...

How far have you/ would you be willing to travel to meet?

I note the 'near me' thing is very prominent (and all my matches are on the other side of the country).

Piliger

miec wrote: »

I know people laugh at them, ie: the cock pictures or the sexually explicit e-mails but they really freak me out, I just got one there and when I get them I just usually delete my account but I don't want to let them ****s get the better of me.

I don't agree. As a guy I agree with you totally. They are disturbing and dumb and unacceptable and sick.
Firstly you MUST complain. Please. For the sake of the other ladies as well. Don't let him drive you away. Then block and don't open anything from him.

Piliger

cantdecide wrote: »

Question for yis all...

How far have you/ would you be willing to travel to meet?

I note the 'near me' thing is very prominent (and all my matches are on the other side of the country).

Personally I've seen enough of LDR's to realise that they are a huge drag at best and a disaster at worst. Imho stick with locals to Dublin. Life will be oh so much nicer.

Galvasean

Honestly, I really don't have what it takes to do a LDR. I stick to Dublin (or at a stretch commuter towns just outside it).

Ah_Yeah

Galvasean wrote: »

Honestly, I really don't have what it takes to do a LDR. I stick to Dublin (or at a stretch commuter towns just outside it).

I've done long distance at some point in all of my relationships. I think it's the age I'm at, people needed to go to college/travel etc.

I'm pretty good at it, having done it for so long, and wouldn't rule it out for the right person, but I don't think I'd start a relationship with someone I had never met before that way.

the_syco

Galvasean wrote: »

I actually mailed her first. In my search criteria I had it down as within 5 miles of Dublin. Must have been a glitch or something.

Some sites see various parts of the UK as "5 miles away" from my location. The fecking Irish Sea is more than 15KM away from me, FFS!!!

Armaghmagic

I see that myself.....could they be on holidays here?

Honey-ec

singlesnights wrote: »

"Toilet roll: Over or Under?"

Over, always over! Maybe I should add that to the list of criteria on my profile. Oh wait, I don't have any...

Anyway, I really felt the need to rebut the whole "Women have it soooo easy" mantra that seems to be gaining a bit of ground here lately. We don't. We run into the exact same problems on OD as the men do. We can't all just "pick and choose" who we'd like to date. We're not guaranteed responses from those we message first.

I'd like to think I'm a fairly attractive chick. Yesterday, I messaged six blokes. Two replied, three didn't and one blocked me straight out of the gate (which, incidentally, I think is quite funny, but anyway). On Friday night, I was chatting to a bloke, who, within four messages, turned the conversation to sex. I told him I wasn't interested in hooking up, but asked if there was anything specifically on my profile that was giving off that vibe. His response was "You're boring me now, goodbye."

I think if this thread has taught anyone anything it should be that OD can be a pain in the proverbials for both genders.

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

Over, always over! Maybe I should add that to the list of criteria on my profile. Oh wait, I don't have any...

Anyway, I really felt the need to rebut the whole "Women have it soooo easy" mantra that seems to be gaining a bit of ground here lately. We don't. We run into the exact same problems on OD as the men do. We can't all just "pick and choose" who we'd like to date. We're not guaranteed responses from those we message first.

I'd like to think I'm a fairly attractive chick. Yesterday, I messaged six blokes. Two replied, three didn't and one blocked me straight out of the gate (which, incidentally, I think is quite funny, but anyway). On Friday night, I was chatting to a bloke, who, within four messages, turned the conversation to sex. I told him I wasn't interested in hooking up, but asked if there was anything specifically on my profile that was giving off that vibe. His response was "You're boring me now, goodbye."

I think if this thread has taught anyone anything it should be that OD can be a pain in the proverbials for both genders.

I would take all that on board. Personally I think that there are a huge number of blokes out there who ruin it for the rest of us with the way they carry on. The kind of guys who probably wouldn't dare approach you in a bar, emailing that kind of stuff on an anonymous dating site - you'd feel sorry for them really.

But the point I was making re 'picking and choosing' was not about the quality of emails, but rather simply just the fact that you have a wider pool of emails to respond to, if you wish. I seriously doubt you get any fewer than 3-6 emails a day, probably loads more. Whereas I would say the equivalent for a typical guy could be about 1-2 a day.

Anyway, of course there will be exceptions, but all else being equal, I don't doubt that the average woman gets a lot more initial mails than the average guy - thus having a wider pool to choose from, regardless of how desirable the guys are..

singlesnights

riveratom wrote: »

I don't doubt that the average woman gets a lot more initial mails than the average guy - thus having a wider pool to choose from, regardless of how desirable the guys are..

That's not, I don't think, to the girl's advantage though. It just means she will have to wade through a lots of crap messages just to find one guy that might be ok.

I think there are a lot of guys on the site who basically do a mail blitz and mail tons of girls in one go, hoping for a bite. Women will tend to be more selective if they email you first, simply because they don't generally have to inititiate in order to get some messages from guys. They are therefore likely to be more selective when choosing to initiate a conversation. By that, I mean there will be something about your profile that they like, even if it's just your photo!

ladylost

riveratom wrote: »

But the point I was making re 'picking and choosing' was not about the quality of emails, but rather simply just the fact that you have a wider pool of emails to respond to, if you wish. I seriously doubt you get any fewer than 3-6 emails a day, probably loads more. Whereas I would say the equivalent for a typical guy could be about 1-2 a day.

I don't even get 3 to 6 mails in a normal week not to mind a day!! For a laugh last night I messed with my pics and put up a pic of the back of me. I got more responses to that than my face. Says a lot about my face I suppose! Although I did send those I got chatting with my pic and they still chatted. I did get one email telling me my picture was rude. I laughed. If the back of me fully clothed is rude this guy is in for a shock when he gets the naked ones! (not from me obviously!!)

riveratom

singlesnights wrote: »

That's not, I don't think, to the girl's advantage though. It just means she will have to wade through a lots of crap messages just to find one guy that might be ok.

That is true. However, I think I would rather get a tonne of messages and find several decent ones, than get practically zero messages, or just a few from people that you unfortunately aren't interested in!

Most of the first contact emails I get from women are usually 'hi how are u' or 'you're hot / cute'.

I guess the latter are fine

miec

Anyway, of course there will be exceptions, but all else being equal, I don't doubt that the average woman gets a lot more initial mails than the average guy - thus having a wider pool to choose from, regardless of how desirable the guys are..

You are looking it purely from a numbers perspective. If a woman receives three e-mails per week when her profile states clearly she is looking for a relationship and all of those e-mails are men looking for sex only then they are equivalent to getting no e-mails, they are worthless. I would rather have one mail a week that is from a man who is genuine.

Galvasean

Ah_Yeah wrote: »

I've done long distance at some point in all of my relationships. I think it's the age I'm at, people needed to go to college/travel etc.

I'm pretty good at it, having done it for so long, and wouldn't rule it out for the right person, but I don't think I'd start a relationship with someone I had never met before that way.

Ah well that's different. If I was already with someone I liked very much and one of us had to move for some reason I'd certainly give it a go, but like you say I doubt I would start one with someone new.

Armaghmagic wrote: »

I see that myself.....could they be on holidays here?

Good call. The girl in question did mention that she had been in Dublin during the past week. The mobile app automatically updates your location, so she probably appeared in my search while she was close by.

ladylost wrote: »

For a laugh last night I messed with my pics and put up a pic of the back of me. I got more responses to that than my face. Says a lot about my face I suppose!

Or maybe you're bringing sexy back? :pac: