The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Daveysil15

Galvasean wrote: »

Anybody else getting lots of ads for dog training on POF???

I'm actually getting ads for Russian Mail Order Brides strangely enough. It's almost as if it was put there intentionally as a last resort in case the whole POF thing doesn't work out.

Piliger

Piliger wrote: »

On OKC - sent messages ... what is the smily that turns red if you click on it ?

no one ?

seachto7

On POF a week, and I think I give up already...........

cantdecide

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm actually getting ads for Russian Mail Order Brides strangely enough. It's almost as if it was put there intentionally as a last resort in case the whole POF thing doesn't work out.

The answer was right under our noses the whole time...

Larianne

Piliger wrote: »

no one ?

From the OkCupid forum:

The smiley face is the only way we have here of tagging emails. It can be "non-smiley'd" or "smiley'd". So for example if you want to group all "important" messages together, tag each one with a smiley, so it turns pink. Then if you want to display only those messages, click on the tab at the top of your inbox called "Smiles"

http://www.okcupid.com/forum?tid=8777885492433062210

CastorTroy

So I've seen people here previously mention how they've gotten more messages since getting a POF App for their phone. And my cousin's boyfriend(who met through PoF over a year ago and are still together) was saying the same thing.
Why do you think that is?

Galvasean

CastorTroy wrote: »

So I've seen people here previously mention how they've gotten more messages since getting a POF App for their phone. And my cousin's boyfriend(who met through PoF over a year ago and are still together) was saying the same thing.
Why do you think that is?

I'd say it's because it doesn't automatically log you out the way it does when you use the website on computers. Ergo, your profile is 'online' a lot more and therefore more likely to show up in people's searches.

CastorTroy

I suppose it's different for me. The 'Online Today' results only take up about 3 or 4 pages at most

Armaghmagic

The thing about the phones are that there is another search option where you can see people who are 'mobile' and then it gives how many km away from you they are

On another point....3 dates this week planned! Cinema, Zoo and Bowling.....odd combo but looking forward to them, 2 are second dates and 1 is the first!

Larianne

Armaghmagic wrote: »

On another point....3 dates this week planned! Cinema, Zoo and Bowling.....odd combo but looking forward to them, 2 are second dates and 1 is the first!

Have you done multi-dating before? I'd find it very hard to remember details and mix them up. :pac:

Ted is meant to be a good date movie btw. (Well if you grew up in the 80's).

Have fun!

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

Ted is meant to be a good date movie btw. (Well if you grew up in the 80's).

It'll certainly give you a good idea if you and your partner's sense of humor is compatible. It's quite out there by times.

A question for those of you who do the multi-date thing: if say you have 3 dates in a week (Monday, Wednesday, Saturday) what do you do if Monday date asks you if you're free/what are you up to on Wednesday or/and Saturday? Do you tell them the truth (which they are bound to not like) or tell fibs (which, while less likely to make them feel bad is still quite dishonest)?

Larianne

Galvasean wrote: »

A question for those of you who do the multi-date thing: if say you have 3 dates in a week (Monday, Wednesday, Saturday) what do you do if Monday date asks you if you're free/what are you up to on Wednesday or/and Saturday? Do you tell them the truth (which they are bound to not like) or tell fibs (which, while less likely to make them feel bad is still quite dishonest)?

I guess you just keep it vague. Going for coffee Wednesday, going for a few drinks Saturday. Then turn the conversation back to them asking what they're at.

Just don't do what I did and mention this thread to them, which they then looked up and saw I had a date on the Monday. :pac: (I cancelled the Monday date in the end).

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

Just don't do what I did and mention this thread to them,

Some day you will all receive a PM from me asking that you all post here saying what a catch Galvasean is and how it is a lucky girl that ends up with him.
On that day you will know I accidentally mentioned this thread while on a date

CastorTroy

Galvasean wrote: »

Some day you will all receive a PM from me asking that you all post here saying what a catch Galvasean is and how it is a lucky girl that ends up with him.
On that day you will know I accidentally mentioned this thread while on a date

Just remember to make a note to delete this post you just made

Armaghmagic

On the multi dating thing it depends, I know the girl I am meeting tomorrow night has no problem with me going on lots of dates, the second is quite the opposite and not sure about the third yet. But to answer the question I tend to be very economical with the truth. Usually tell them I am going to the cinema but with a mate, that sorta thing.

It can get confusing alright trying to remember details and not getting mixed up, but a quick flick through the messages you sent eachother the night before will have you well prepared. Failing that loads of general chat will get you over the line!

Galvasean

CastorTroy wrote: »

Just remember to make a note to delete this post you just made

You'd never know, maybe I'll find a woman who has a thing for the Machiavellian...

CastorTroy

Or maybe one who can't be bothered to go back more than a couple of pages, unless she wants to read all your posts, at which point you should welcome her being scared off.

Galvasean

CastorTroy wrote: »

Or maybe one who can't be bothered to go back more than a couple of pages, unless she wants to read all your posts, at which point you should welcome her being scared off.

"Come my darling, join me and we shall scheme together!"

ladylost

I have a date tonight and he seems very nice but I'm not sure if there's attraction. Guess there's only one way to find out. Chatting with a few but dates are scarce. The guy I met a couple of times seems to have gone quiet on me. I'm not going to chase him if he's not even bothered to answer a text.

riveratom

ladylost wrote: »

I have a date tonight and he seems very nice but I'm not sure if there's attraction. Guess there's only one way to find out. Chatting with a few but dates are scarce.

You basing that on just his photo or have you met him already?

It's a funny one with the old photos. I have actually never met anyone who has looked the same as in their photos!! Which I think means that you should really meet the person sooner rather than later!

I got a nice message from a girl on POF a little earlier there - not sure based on the photos, although she looks very nice in one of them. But as per the above, I reckon I could meet her and maybe have a totally different impression of her then too and all....

Honey-ec

riveratom wrote: »

It's a funny one with the old photos. I have actually never met anyone who has looked the same as in their photos!! Which I think means that you should really meet the person sooner rather than later!

This is why I never, ever meet anyone who only has one pic up. You can be guaranteed it's the one and only good photo of them in existance and they actually look nothing like that.

I've been told I'm better looking in real life than in my photos, which I guess is nice. Last guy I met was also waaaay better looking in real life. Hubba hubba!

CastorTroy

Honey-ec wrote: »

This is why I never, ever meet anyone who only has one pic up. You can be guaranteed it's the one and only good photo of them in existance and they actually look nothing like that.

I've been told I'm better looking in real life than in my photos, which I guess is nice. Last guy I met was also waaaay better looking in real life. Hubba hubba!

I have 2 pics up from the same night. Not because I was choosing which looked good, but because they're the only recent ones I'm aware of and I didn't wanna be taking one of myself in front of the mirror or just turning the camera on myself.

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

This is why I never, ever meet anyone who only has one pic up. You can be guaranteed it's the one and only good photo of them in existance and they actually look nothing like that.

Ha indeed, good policy!

I did meet one girl for a date recently who had just the one pic up, just to see. When I met she might as well have been a different person! She didn't even have the same hair colour! I think people do be deluding themselves sometimes really.

The girl from earlier has more than one pic up though, she has four - she looks nicer in one than in all the others though...to reply back to her mail or not..?! Hmm...

Honey-ec wrote: »

I've been told I'm better looking in real life than in my photos, which I guess is nice. Last guy I met was also waaaay better looking in real life. Hubba hubba!

Have to say I was browsing that 'know your loungers' thread couple of weeks back and noticed you looked pretty different in two of your pics...no-one is immune from the photo effect, haha!

ladylost

riveratom wrote: »

You basing that on just his photo or have you met him already?

It's a funny one with the old photos. I have actually never met anyone who has looked the same as in their photos!! Which I think means that you should really meet the person sooner rather than later!

I got a nice message from a girl on POF a little earlier there - not sure based on the photos, although she looks very nice in one of them. But as per the above, I reckon I could meet her and maybe have a totally different impression of her then too and all....

Basing it in 2 things really, his photo and his lifestyle. I always give people a chance as far as the photo is concerned. I have found most look better in person and I base attraction on personality too which u have to meet someone to get. Lifestyle/job might be the stumbling block for me but I have to be fair and not rule people out based on preconceived notions. That's probably what has me single in the first place!

quinnd6

I gave up sending messages on pof.com.
No point when no one ever replies.
I think the women there are spoilt for choice so don't bother replying to most of the messages they get whereas us men don't have any choice.
Men far outnumber women on that site so the chances of meeting anyone if you're a guy are zero.

riveratom

quinnd6 wrote: »

I gave up sending messages on pof.com.
No point when no one ever replies.
I think the women there are spoilt for choice so don't bother replying to most of the messages they get whereas us men don't have any choice.
Men far outnumber women on that site so the chances of meeting anyone if you're a guy are zero.

I wonder how many discouraged guys there are out there after using POF, definitely do not base your impression of online dating on it!

It's a wojus site man, try some of the others - there are loads! E.g. CupidRocks, Match, maybe Ok Cupid. These are all wayyyy better and actually have a 21st century user interface!!

POF is a meat-market!

Daveysil15

quinnd6 wrote: »

I gave up sending messages on pof.com.
No point when no one ever replies.
I think the women there are spoilt for choice so don't bother replying to most of the messages they get whereas us men don't have any choice.
Men far outnumber women on that site so the chances of meeting anyone if you're a guy are zero.

I had the same opinion as you when I first started using it. At first I was getting little or no replies. 6 months later I finally got a date from it. I recently went on another date. I've been using it for over a year now. So on average I'm getting 2 dates a year. Not great, but I'm seeing this new girl again this weekend. We really hit it off.

I do agree that the women have a lot more choice. I mean 3 dates a week is just ridiculous. I can't even manage 3 a year.

smallgarden

wrote:

I do agree that the women have a lot more choice. I mean 3 dates a week is just ridiculous. I can't even manage 3 a year.

im pretty sure person above with 3 dates this week is a bloke!

as for not getting many replies. i dont reply to all my messages, if im not interested i dont reply.i could be polite and not reply but prefer it to not interested reply.i feel the same if i message someone and they dont reply to me. id prefer no response than sorry im not attracted to you.thats assumed in lack of reply

quinnd6

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I do agree that the women have a lot more choice. I mean 3 dates a week is just ridiculous. I can't even manage 3 a year.

Well I can't even manage one date a year or even one reply a year.
I made all my photos private there anyway because why bother having them there when no-one wants to talk to me.
My profile on pof is still there but I don't expect to be using it anymore.
okcupid seems to look just as bad or probably worse than pof though I haven't bothered messaging anyone on it yet.
From the couple of profiles I looked at the women seem just as egotistical and sound just as snobby as the ones on pof.com so I doubt I'll bother.
Online dating in Ireland is crap.

cantdecide

quinnd6 wrote: »

Well I can't even manage one date a year or even one reply a year.
I made all my photos private there anyway because why bother having them there when no-one wants to talk to me.
My profile on pof is still there but I don't expect to be using it anymore.
okcupid seems to look just as bad or probably worse than pof though I haven't bothered messaging anyone on it yet.
From the couple of profiles I looked at the women seem just as egotistical and sound just as snobby as the ones on pof.com so I doubt I'll bother.
Online dating in Ireland is crap.

We've all felt that way at some stage and yet we always come back. Does it ever change? Me arse it does! The only thing that can change is your attitude to it. You must be able to get over rejection quickly. I suspect you, like me, used it as a last resort. I thought I'd be able to retain my dignity even if I were giving up my privacy. I was wrong!

Start by lowering your expectations lower than your toenails. You can't be disappointed if you have no expectations. The other thing is to suspend your ego. Pick your pics and put your best foot forward. Have a look at the other guys' profiles and mimic them. Another thing I do is message one lady at a time. Have your next victim selected. When you get the inevitable silence; onto the next one.