The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

quinnd6

I would but I feel I'd just be wasting my time so don't see any point to it.

cantdecide

quinnd6 wrote: »

I would but I feel I'd just be wasting my time so don't see any point to it.

OD turns into an evolutionary process for most who are serious about finding love.

You should maybe suspend your accounts and your efforts if you're feeling that aggrieved. In the beginning there's definitely a lot of picking yourself up and dusting yourself down.

smallgarden

we should sticky some tips from opposite sex on general profile tips,par example
for men:
pick a picture youre smiling in,close up frowny ones can be scary
dont have a picture of your car/motorbike etc
reply to someone whos profile you like even if only short message
have a range of pictures
phrases like on this for fun/have a laugh are offputting and hint at one thing
sounds obvious but keep any fetishes to yourself at the beginning,youd be amazed the number who tell you off the bat,call me fussy but a guy interested in suffocating people is not going to get first date with moi

quinnd6

I think that's the whole problem there really women are too fussy.
We go in open minded and women just try to find flaws straight away.
I think they just try to make something negative out of everything you say.
A man says something like "I'd like to meet someone to go out with and have some fun with" and they read it like it means all the man wants is sex and they take a look at your profile and try to find flaws in your pictures.
Women are too freaking judgemental and fussy here and it makes things impossible.

HellFireClub

Well I've just had the absolute bóllox eaten out of me by mail from a girl who I clicked yes on the "meet me" button on pof! Think she's reached the end of her tether with OD, I just clicked yes 'cos I thought she was cute, maybe she misunderstood what I was trying to do and thought I was standing outside her front door with a marriage proposal or something!

Have a few dates in the pipeline for the rest of the week, two through OD and one that somehow came together on Twitter?!? Had one hastily arranged POF date this week that went great, we kinda left it open ended though & have been a bit quiet with each other ever since, I think i's that awkward place after a date, where you don't know whether the other person wants to see you again or not, and that applies to both parties!

I dunno, for the moment though it's ticking a small box, which is that it lets me put my toe back in pond to a small extent, which is just what I want for the moment.......

riveratom

quinnd6 wrote: »

I would but I feel I'd just be wasting my time so don't see any point to it.

To an extent, you are wasting your time on the free sites. I would recommend that you try at least one of the paid ones if you want to get some emails going.

seachto7

I wouldn't put a paid site over pof. From what I can see on another friend, a lot of the same people on it...

Lots of fake profiles too on AF

riveratom

seachto7 wrote: »

I wouldn't put a paid site over pof. From what I can see on another friend, a lot of the same people on it...

Lots of fake profiles too on AF

Dude you might not get far so!! The people who are serious about meeting someone are on CupidRocks, Match etc...far higher quality profiles and these are reputable sites which are all over potential scammers and their ilk.

Daveysil15

riveratom wrote: »

Dude you might not get far so!! The people who are serious about meeting someone are on CupidRocks, Match etc...far higher quality profiles and these are reputable sites which are all over potential scammers and their ilk.

If some people are able to get 3 dates a week on a free site, why would they bother paying for a site? Plus... an attractive person with a good profile on a free site would probably have more success than an unattractive person with a bad profile on a paid site.

Location comes into it too. I had a browse through a couple of the paid sites and there's feck all women on them in my area. POF seems to have more members than any of the other sites.

seachto7

I guess I'm either in the wrong area or not good looking

quinnd6

So a woman won't reply either if you don't live in the same area as them.
Quite narrow minded aren't they.

mood

quinnd6 wrote: »

So a woman won't reply either if you don't live in the same area as them.
Quite narrow minded aren't they.

Not everyone would want to get into a long distance relationship. Instantly puts a new relationship under major pressure.

quinnd6

Screw that so because theres no decent women where I live.
They're all from Dublin.

miec

I'd have to say that in my experience the paid sites were a waste of money. I signed up for match.com for three months, I live in Co. Kildare and I got one date from it. I e-mailed several men and received two replies in total so the lack of response was similar to that site as it is to POF. I have also used and paid for AF which is another waste of money because a lot signed up cannot share contact details and their server is woeful as well as their search features.

Also I find it pretty frustrating to read about the women bashing in OD at the moment, I believe there are frustrating elements to OD for both sexes but that is also the same as meeting people in pubs / clubs. If I could meet men via another way I would but I don't go out much and the couple of times I have where men have chatted me up has resulted in them being attached or much younger than me looking for a one night stand. I think one poster summed it up really well, the person willing to stick it out and keep trying will eventually find someone, it is just a question of patience and endurance.

I have mailed plenty of men and had no responses back, possibly because I am not their type which is fine, some men who have mailed me are not my type either so I have done the same. It is equivalent to being in a disco / bar and trying to catch the eye of someone you like the look of only to discover that when they look at you it is zero interest, it is the way it goes with trying to meet people.

Finally re: the hi mails, I have responded to them and to date the conversations online have been like pulling teeth and I get bored really quickly.

Daveysil15

One thing I don't like is people constantly putting the site down with headlines like, "Plenty of Freaks, "Plenty of midgets," too many weirdos, and so on. If they really think its that bad why do they continue to use it?

miec

I agree that is just plain bitchy and no need for that. Mind you it says more about them and their mindset really.

seachto7

I have sent of a few "hiya, how's your evening going" or "how was your weekend?". Didn't really get much replies from any of them. Any who emailed me, as I mentioned, I wasn't too into, so there are these emails going back and forth, a mexican stand off if you will....
Maybe it's not that I'm not into them, maybe I am just WAY too cagey........
I have emailed people from all over Ireland. I really don't care where they are based.......

Busy Lizzie

seachto7 wrote: »

I have sent of a few "hiya, how's your evening going" or "how was your weekend?". Didn't really get much replies from any of them. Any who emailed me, as I mentioned, I wasn't too into, so there are these emails going back and forth, a mexican stand off if you will....
Maybe it's not that I'm not into them, maybe I am just WAY too cagey........
I have emailed people from all over Ireland. I really don't care where they are based.......

Just so you get a bit of female prospective here..... When I get mails like that....you just get the impression the person is just mailing nearly out of boredom. That they havent even bothered to read your profile. If a guy mails and mentions something on my profile, Im more inclined to think that they've seen something they're interested in, rather than just sending out a mail that could be sent to anyone. Might be the reason you're not getting many replies....

Busy Lizzie

Well I have just got a great laugh out of POF!

Some guy mails me with some weird message, but it was one of his pics that made me laugh out loud! There's one of him embracing a woman from behind, with both their hands on her baby bump!!!

Dolly Daydreams

Online dating is the topic on right now on fm104 Adrian Kennedy phone show. Hilarious

seachto7

They were on about it on Newstalk this morning as well, but I was half asleep...

I have also mentioned bits about their profile as well. It's as hard as real life for fecks sake!!

TheGimp

I think people who don't reply are downright rude. From my experiences so far, it appears online is no different to regular dating, with the same issues carrying over, namely snooty Irish women up their own arse.

Funnily enough the women that have engaged with me are all foreign, again mirroring my experiences with regular dating. I'm seriously beginning to think that Irish women are just not worth the effort.

sam34

ok folks, let's have less of the lazy generalisations please

seachto7

TheGimp wrote: »

I think people who don't reply are downright rude. From my experiences so far, it appears online is no different to regular dating, with the same issues carrying over, namely snooty Irish women up their own arse.

Funnily enough the women that have engaged with me are all foreign, again mirroring my experiences with regular dating. I'm seriously beginning to think that Irish women are just not worth the effort.

Not true. I have had consistency in not getting replies from foreign as well as Irish women!

Larianne

TheGimp wrote: »

I think people who don't reply are downright rude.

Perhaps, but in my experience, I've got horrible messages in return for telling someone I wasn't interested in them. OR I have had the same guy message me again and again.

So, for me, its easier not to reply to someone I don't want to strike up a conversation with. People don't reply to messages I have sent in the past and I see it as no big deal. Not interested in me, which is fair enough.

Dolly Daydreams

TheGimp wrote: »

I think people who don't reply are downright rude. From my experiences so far, it appears online is no different to regular dating, with the same issues carrying over, namely snooty Irish women up their own arse.

Funnily enough the women that have engaged with me are all foreign, again mirroring my experiences with regular dating. I'm seriously beginning to think that Irish women are just not worth the effort.

To be honest, if I get a message and don't think we're suited judging by their profile I wont reply. Why? Because I did in the beginning to say thanks but no thanks (worded it differently obviously) and the "why are you stuck up?" " state of you anyway" "you're really missing out" far outweighed the "thanks for the reply" messages.

I don't always get a reply when I mail first, and I just move right along.

riveratom

TheGimp wrote: »

I think people who don't reply are downright rude. From my experiences so far, it appears online is no different to regular dating, with the same issues carrying over, namely snooty Irish women up their own arse.

Funnily enough the women that have engaged with me are all foreign, again mirroring my experiences with regular dating. I'm seriously beginning to think that Irish women are just not worth the effort.

Would you really want people emailing you back going 'sorry but I'm not attracted to you'? You are hardly going to be interested in everyone who emails you either, so equally, would you want to have to email them all back with the bad news?

Nobody owes you a reply, and you will have a lot more fun and find it way more enjoyable if you don't take it all seriously, trust me!

Busy Lizzie

TheGimp wrote: »

I think people who don't reply are downright rude.

SOME guys dont reply either!

seachto7

Ok,I emailed someone a few days back with a "hiya, how's it going". No reply. Would I be wasting my time sending another one?

Ankhyu

seachto7 wrote: »

Ok,I emailed someone a few days back with a "hiya, how's it going". No reply. Would I be wasting my time sending another one?

Probably, unfortunately. If she didn't reply the first time, a second message won't make much difference.