The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

smallgarden

im going to be controversial and state a suspicion ive noticed from experience of men. i think women have better idea of who theyre similar in attractiveness to.men go for prettiest girl and are insulted when they dont get reply.the problem is theyre all going for the same girls.ive noticed this out and in general in society so i suspect it carrys on into online dating.id say there are a small number of women getting a whole load of emails.i know its not all about looks but its one of the forefront things that people decide on online. you can fall in love with someone from their personality once you know them but its hard to do that online

cantdecide

smallgarden wrote: »

...i think women have better idea of who theyre similar in attractiveness to...

You mean their 'league'? I think men will always just mail who they fancy. Simples.

Personally, I'd never mail someone on their looks alone or if I thought there was a clash of personality or values no matter how much I'd fancy them physically. Maybe it's different for the lowest common denominator.

seachto7

Well, when I am out, before I chat to anyone, I am attracted to them physically, so it has to be there online too. I don't think I am aiming out of my league. I have been with plenty of pretty women in real life. I dunno, maybe I am aiming out of my league....

smallgarden

its not necessarily just aiming out of league but its messaging people who are varying levels of attractiveness, for me there are guys i think are really hot,hot,good looking, seem nice,alright looking,maybe, not really interested,totally uninterested, im suggesting that some men might just stick to just really pretty and thats it if that makes more sense.that could be why there experience of online dating has been so negative

CastorTroy

Just as a matter of interest, ladies, do you find the majority of men don't have pics in their profiles. Like just looking at the results I get there are about 60 out of the first 90 without photos. So was just wondering if it's as common with guys?

hollypink

I got an abusive message this morning. The reason? Because I've specified in my mail settings that first contact messages must be 50 characters+. Apparently this makes me a princess :mad: And to close it off he also made a comment on one of my photos that implied I'm fat.

I'm not too upset by it but it is a little disheartening to think that someone is nasty enough to go to the trouble of composing a second message when their first one bounced back, just to abuse a complete stranger. And this guy isn't young; he's over 40 Also he doesn't know the difference between "accept" and "except".

cantdecide

hollypink wrote: »

I got an abusive message this morning. The reason? Because I've specified in my mail settings that first contact messages must be 50 characters+. Apparently this makes me a princess :mad: And to close it off he also made a comment on one of my photos that implied I'm fat.

I'm not too upset by it but it is a little disheartening to think that someone is nasty enough to go to the trouble of composing a second message when their first one bounced back, just to abuse a complete stranger. And this guy isn't young; he's over 40 Also he doesn't know the difference between "accept" and "except".

He sounds like a real prize...

HellFireClub

hollypink wrote: »

I got an abusive message this morning. The reason? Because I've specified in my mail settings that first contact messages must be 50 characters+. Apparently this makes me a princess :mad: And to close it off he also made a comment on one of my photos that implied I'm fat.

I'm not too upset by it but it is a little disheartening to think that someone is nasty enough to go to the trouble of composing a second message when their first one bounced back, just to abuse a complete stranger. And this guy isn't young; he's over 40 Also he doesn't know the difference between "accept" and "except".

I got one last week because I didn't reply to a mail. Something along the lines that I should put up on my profile that I was an arséhole who hadn't the manners to reply to mails and was probably a "queer". The reality was actually that I was in work and getting pulled away from my desk every few minutes and didn't have the time to send any mails or to get into any proper conversations.

I think people can and generally do behave completely differently online than in the real world out there, and this applies as much to what people but up on their profiles, as it does to reactions you can sometimes get if you don't reply to a message or whatever.

EDIT: My pet POF hate for this week is the "flirty" button that girls have, (us guys don't have one!). Why bother clicking it or using it, it's the 2012 equivalent of sending your mate up to a girl to see if he can "set you up" with her?!?!?!? I'm 36 ffs, and anyone mailing me is around a similar age, why not just send a mail and say hi, hope your day is going well, what you up to, even that is a better start than this mail telling you that someone has clicked this flirt button?!?

Hardonraging

hollypink wrote: »

I got an abusive message this morning. The reason? Because I've specified in my mail settings that first contact messages must be 50 characters+. Apparently this makes me a princess :mad: And to close it off he also made a comment on one of my photos that implied I'm fat.

I'm not too upset by it but it is a little disheartening to think that someone is nasty enough to go to the trouble of composing a second message when their first one bounced back, just to abuse a complete stranger. And this guy isn't young; he's over 40 Also he doesn't know the difference between "accept" and "except".

Not exactally the kind of thing you want on a wet Wednesday morning, just ignore it, and keep looking forward ..

hollypink

HellFireClub wrote: »

I got one last week because I didn't reply to a mail. Something along the lines that I should put up on my profile that I was an arséhole who hadn't the manners to reply to mails and was probably a "queer".

:mad: That's horrible, I really don't understand what's wrong with people like that.

HellFireClub

hollypink wrote: »

:mad: That's horrible, I really don't understand what's wrong with people like that.

On some level I can understand the frustrations that people can run into with OD. It's very much a feast or a famine/all duck or no dinner with it I think.

smallgarden

i love the flirt button,it gives me chance to read profile and i click it if like profile,its much better than meet me as thats just based on pictures,people give out about hi,how are you messages too,so it sounds like i need to write a paragraph minimum for it to be responded to if they like me.i dont see whats wrong with either,its a way of saying i like you,if you like me send me a message,if not then no worries

mood

TheGimp wrote: »

I think people who don't reply are downright rude. From my experiences so far, it appears online is no different to regular dating, with the same issues carrying over, namely snooty Irish women up their own arse.

Funnily enough the women that have engaged with me are all foreign, again mirroring my experiences with regular dating. I'm seriously beginning to think that Irish women are just not worth the effort.

I don't reply if I'm not interested. I did when I first joined a site but my polite 'Sorry but I don't think we are compatible' or whatever lead to guy replying with abuse or begging me to be friend. Again, it's the minority of horrible people who ruin things for others. Blame them not Irish women.

mood

seachto7 wrote: »

Not true. I have had consistency in not getting replies from foreign as well as Irish women!

I'm an Irish woman and I reply when possibly interested in a guy.

HellFireClub

smallgarden wrote: »

i love the flirt button,it gives me chance to read profile and i click it if like profile,its much better than meet me as thats just based on pictures,people give out about hi,how are you messages too,so it sounds like i need to write a paragraph minimum for it to be responded to if they like me.i dont see whats wrong with either,its a way of saying i like you,if you like me send me a message,if not then no worries

Ah there's nothing wrong with using it, if you are just browsing and trying to kill a bit of time, it's just unlikely to get you anywhere in terms of a date or a conversation starting, I just delete them, for a tiny bit of effort, I'd probably reply... I'm also a bit confused as to why the button is only available to female users of the site, without getting up on a gender equality soapbox on the subject, why not just let both guys and girls use it?

hollypink

HellFireClub wrote: »

I'm also a bit confused as to why the button is only available to female users of the site, without getting up on a gender equality soapbox on the subject, why not just let both guys and girls use it?

I wonder if it's because women send a lot less messages than men so maybe it's POF trying to get more women to initiate the first contact?

HellFireClub

hollypink wrote: »

I wonder if it's because women send a lot less messages than men so maybe it's POF trying to get more women to initiate the first contact?

I never thought of that! Something about the flirt button just annoys me, I think in the day and age that we are in, a girl should be able to knock together a short message and say hi if she likes a guys profile, I mean it's a dating site, we are all on it to try to meet someone hopefully!

Well I've a date tomorrow evening with a really nice girl, my gut feeling is looking good on this one!

Honey-ec

HellFireClub wrote: »

Something about the flirt button just annoys me, I think in the day and age that we are in, a girl should be able to knock together a short message and say hi if she likes a guys profile, I mean it's a dating site, we are all on it to try to meet someone hopefully!

I agree, it's pathetic. Seriously, if you like a guy, just message him.

HellFireClub

Honey-ec wrote: »

I agree, it's pathetic. Seriously, if you like a guy, just message him.

I wouldn't say it's pathethic, I'm probably as guilty of using the "meet me" button, but I'd just be browsing profiles to kill a bit of boredom, I wouldn't be doing it to initiate contact with someone. Having said that, every now and again I get a mail from someone who's profile I've clicked on the "meet me" button.

Honey-ec

HellFireClub wrote: »

I wouldn't say it's pathethic, I'm probably as guilty of using the "meet me" button, but I'd just be browsing profiles to kill a bit of boredom, I wouldn't be doing it to initiate contact with someone. Having said that, every now and again I get a mail from someone who's profile I've clicked on the "meet me" button.

Well I have similar feelings on "Meet Me", tbh.

Honey-ec

smallgarden wrote: »

i love the flirt button,it gives me chance to read profile and i click it if like profile... its a way of saying i like you,if you like me send me a message,if not then no worries

But why not just message them if you like them rather than placing the onus on them to do it???

cantdecide

I just got a first contact message from a girl.... I had a conversation with THREE WEEKS AGO!!!

I clearly made a lasting impression :rolleyes:

smallgarden

Honey-ec wrote: »

But why not just message them if you like them rather than placing the onus on them to do it???

sometimes i click it for guys i like but i think are out of my league,i thought itd be nice confidence booster for people esp when pepople give out about how fussy women are and not getting replies,i thought it was nice way of going you seem nice. i think people take od too seriously with too much criteria for one thing or another. bring back old days of barn dances of being asked for a dance.maybe they should have a would you like to dance button instead!

riveratom

On POF a week or so now, and have gotten a good few (around 10) messages from different women. Unfortunately I don't fancy any of them and have never gotten a first contact mail from anyone I fancy on that site. Doh!

riveratom

HellFireClub wrote: »

Well I've a date tomorrow evening with a really nice girl, my gut feeling is looking good on this one!

Good luck with it dude, hope it works out well for ya.

ladylost

riveratom wrote: »

On POF a week or so now, and have gotten a good few (around 10) messages from different women. Unfortunately I don't fancy any of them and have never gotten a first contact mail from anyone I fancy on that site. Doh!

Any luck contacting the women you do fancy?

riveratom

ladylost wrote: »

Any luck contacting the women you do fancy?

Not a single solitary reply ladylost. In fact, I think most or at least a lot of them didn't even view my profile. Which is likely because they get tonnes of mails, or they haven't logged in lately, etc...who knows?

Northclare

Wait a while and you will get a few messages together,POF is like the weather lol

Don't mind those who don't message you,you're better off without those types....

I'm off POF over a month now,am.I missing much ?

Greenduck

Went on POF for ONE day a few weeks ago. An older gentleman asked me out then was nice enough to put at the end 'If you dont want to date, how much do you cost?'

Needless to say I closed my account fairly promptly.

Northclare

Another priceless example of online dating lol
Last exposure.I had with POF was quite shallow too lol