The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

TrustedApple

Sent a good few mails in the last few days get about 1 in 3 mailing me back but some times it like trying to get water from a stone

Sent a mail to a girl asking her what tv shows she like. The reply was LoL i like tv shows. Some times i got to LoL

Also the amount a boobs i have seen on PoF in the last weak is funny LoL

Also a good pay site for a 20 year Where there well be people my own age ?

cantdecide

samapple789 wrote: »

Sent a good few mails in the last few days get about 1 in 3 mailing me back

You know you should be punching the air, right...

Daveysil15

TheGimp wrote: »

Funnily enough the women that have engaged with me are all foreign, again mirroring my experiences with regular dating. I'm seriously beginning to think that Irish women are just not worth the effort.

Maybe you should click on one the numerous ads for international dating sites that do be floating around on POF. I've seen ads for 'Hot Russian Women,' and even 'Sexy Arabic Women.'

Have you noticed these's ads always have pictures of beautiful women? There seems to be no average looking women in Russia. They all look like models and can't find a man in their home country. Crazy!

riveratom wrote: »

Would you really want people emailing you back going 'sorry but I'm not attracted to you'?

You wouldn't have to put it that way. You could just say, "Sorry but I'm not interested, or you're not my type." A couple of girls have said that to me and I found it better than no reply at all.

Ankhyu

With regards to the Facebook thing, I almost always add guys I'm about to meet. After I've been chatting to them for a good while. It's mostly to get a better idea of whether I fancy them or not.
Also, I like to take the chatting to Facebook because I get sick of being logged into the dating sites all the time. I'm easier to get a hold of on Facebook because I check it more regularly.

It's gonna be almost a month since I've seen the guy I'm dating, by the time I see him next week for date 4. I can't wait!

mood

I just saw a guys profile which said something like:

Email if you are good looking, intelligent, funny, ambitious, creative, musical, confident and fun-loving.

There was no description of himself at all!!!

mc_grens

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

Maybe, I can see what you are all saying and you all sound logical but I just wouldn't be comfortable meeting up with someone without a facebook, I just feel safer and if we don't get I just tend to leave them in the friends list, I know this may sound strange to you but its not as if the guys seem horrified by this, they seem to be into swapping facebook

I don't even accept current workmates on Facebook- people I see every day. There's no way I'd accept someone I'd never met. No matter what the circumstance. In fact if more of my friends had twitter accounts I'd have closed my Facebook ages ago.

If I asked you out and you asked to be Facebook friends before meeting I wouldn't do it and I'd walk away in a second. There's info on there about my friends and family, and photos of them, that THEY might not want complete strangers to see apart from anything else!

HellFireClub

mc_grens wrote: »

I don't even accept current workmates on Facebook- people I see every day. There's no way I'd accept someone I'd never met. No matter what the circumstance. In fact if more of my friends had twitter accounts I'd have closed my Facebook ages ago.

If I asked you out and you asked to be Facebook friends before meeting I wouldn't do it and I'd walk away in a second. There's info on there about my friends and family, and photos of them, that THEY might not want complete strangers to see apart from anything else!

It's just plain nosy & downright rude I think, this FB request thing after 5 minutes of chatting to you. On some unspoken level, OD involves some degree of mutual trust. Of course you adjust for the fact that people are not always honest about themselves or might talk themselves up on a profile, in term of their age, height, shape or size, by (1) meeting in a public place and taking the usual precautions in relation to meeting someone for the first time and (2) Having a short first date over coffee or whatever, so that if expectations are not met, then it's not the end of the world. But trying to barge into people's FB account on the pretence that, "Hey, it's for my health & safety, right???", that's just a downright insult to the people who use dating websites.

"Health & Safety" gets thrown out these days to try to push just about any ridiculous demand onto a person, but I will never run with this notion that you have to protect your "health & safety" by insisting on rummaging through a persons FB profile before you will meet them. What's next, being asked to fill out a Garda clearance form before a date???

CastorTroy

I have a Facebook account but I don't use it for anything other than sending private messages to people. Any photos on it are ones I've been tagged in. I post none

Hardonraging

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

What no way??? I would NEVER meet up with anyone without having seen their facebook!!! Honestly if a guy said no I wouldn't meet up with him I would totally just assume he was a fake and a pervert!!!

If meeting up is suggested I say "Sure, maybe we could swap facebooks, don't worry I wont message you but its just to make sure your not an old guy" and to be honest no one seems to have a problem with this in fact they are pretty understanding about it and say no problem!!!!

I'm backing Jenny up here, I've no issue adding any body to my facebook, the beauty of it is you can limit what they see, if you take the time to set it up .

cade

Hardonraging wrote: »

I'm backing Jenny up here, I've no issue adding any body to my facebook, the beauty of it is you can limit what they see, if you take the time to set it up .

One of the girls mentioned a good few pages back that she'd been added to Facebook but it was obvious the guys page had viewing restrictions set up for her so this flagged even more suspicions and that was the end of the two of them.

I wouldn't add people to Facebook either until after we meet and decide we want to meet again or at the very least after a large number of hours in Skype video chat.

Anyhow, things are tumbleweed central for me at the moment though my profile is rather stale, haven't got any new pics in a few months.

JennyBurke101

HellFireClub wrote: »

It's just plain nosy & downright rude I think, this FB request thing after 5 minutes of chatting to you. On some unspoken level, OD involves some degree of mutual trust. Of course you adjust for the fact that people are not always honest about themselves or might talk themselves up on a profile, in term of their age, height, shape or size, by (1) meeting in a public place and taking the usual precautions in relation to meeting someone for the first time and (2) Having a short first date over coffee or whatever, so that if expectations are not met, then it's not the end of the world. But trying to barge into people's FB account on the pretence that, "Hey, it's for my health & safety, right???", that's just a downright insult to the people who use dating websites.

"Health & Safety" gets thrown out these days to try to push just about any ridiculous demand onto a person, but I will never run with this notion that you have to protect your "health & safety" by insisting on rummaging through a persons FB profile before you will meet them. What's next, being asked to fill out a Garda clearance form before a date???

I am so sorry if this comes across as incredibly rude but dear god man get over yourself, it’s a SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE…..my God you would swear I was asking for bank details and birth certs!!!!


Ridiculous demand????? Seriously facebook is a ridiculous demand, the amount of things you moan about on here ….and facebook is a ridiculous demand…. Right….ok….got it…..

seachto7

What I find a bit funny are people commenting on my photos, but have none of their own on their profile. DELETE! NEXT!

Maguined

HellFireClub wrote: »

My answer always politely being, "sorry, I only add people who I have at least met and might be interested in meeting again", usually is the end of the conversation, which is completely fine with me because I'd just have identified another paranoid timewaster on the site and I'd rather be aware of that before meeting them than after.

Do you not think you are being a bit unfair labelling someone as a time waster and paranoid for wanting to see a Facebook page before meeting a stranger? By that token someone could label your refusal to add someone to Facebook without having met them as paranoid as well?

HellFireClub

Maguined wrote: »

Do you not think you are being a bit unfair labelling someone as a time waster and paranoid for wanting to see a Facebook page before meeting a stranger? By that token someone could label your refusal to add someone to Facebook without having met them as paranoid as well?

My refusal to add people who I might never meet in real life, or even get to know their surname, on FB, is nothing to do with paranoia. I made a personal decision to use FB for maintaining contact with family & close friends. That's a decision I made about my use of FB, and I'm not going to depart from that because someone on POF has it in their head that I'm probably not as how I've represented myself as being on POF. Basically take me as you find me, or don't take me at all. If you can manage that simple little ask, then I'd happily add you on FB if you do become a friend.

mood

I think some people are just not going to agree on the Facebook issue so lets all just agree to disagree.

Honey-ec

My entire life is on Facebook. Ergo, I only add people as friends who are *actually* my friend. People I have never met before most certainly do not fall into this category.

HellFireClub

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

I am so sorry if this comes across as incredibly rude but dear god man get over yourself, it’s a SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE…..my God you would swear I was asking for bank details and birth certs!!!!


Ridiculous demand????? Seriously facebook is a ridiculous demand, the amount of things you moan about on here ….and facebook is a ridiculous demand…. Right….ok….got it…..

As I've said, not everybody else uses FB in the same way that you do. Some people are not interested in having hundreds of "friends" that they have never met & will never meet, hanging out of their FB account and clogging up their timeline.

When someone pesters me on POF to start nosing through my FB profile, I just clarify that I won't add them and I usually don't hear from them again thankfully.

There are plenty of people on POF who are more than happy to take me as they find me, and don't feel the need to start up an internet based inquisition on me before meeting me for a coffee.

Maguined

HellFireClub wrote: »

My refusal to add people who I might never meet in real life, or even get to know their surname, on FB, is nothing to do with paranoia. I made a personal decision to use FB for maintaining contact with family & close friends. That's a decision I made about my use of FB, and I'm not going to depart from that because someone on POF has it in their head that I'm probably not as how I've represented myself as being on POF. Basically take me as you find me, or don't take me at all. If you can manage that simple little ask, then I'd happily add you on FB if you do become a friend.

You are giving your reasons and explanations of your choice yet you make assumptions about other peoples reasons and choices. You don't want to add someone to Facebook you haven't met then fine that's your call. However to label anyone that wants to view a Facebook page first as a time waster and paranoid is unfair IMHO.

Asking for someone's Facebook page in OD is them trying to weed out time wasters themselves.

cantdecide

mood wrote: »

I think some people are just not going to agree on the Facebook issue so lets all just agree to disagree.

It's a judgement call. There's as much for as against for both parties. I don't think you can square this circle...

JennyBurke101

HellFireClub wrote: »

As I've said, not everybody else uses FB in the same way that you do. Some people are not interested in having hundreds of "friends" that they have never met & will never meet, hanging out of their FB account and clogging up their timeline.

When someone pesters me on POF to start nosing through my FB profile, I just clarify that I won't add them and I usually don't hear from them again thankfully.

There are plenty of people on POF who are more than happy to take me as they find me, and don't feel the need to start up an internet based inquisition on me before meeting me for a coffee.

Why do you assume that if someone wants to view your facebook page that there is something wrong with them???

Some people ARE interested in swapping those details....so you shouldnt be such a critic of other people's opinions, you come across so aggressive in all of your posts!!!

tatumkelly

Social networking is an interesting topic when it comes to online dating. I've been chatting to, and was planning to meet someone at the weekend. He gave me his email address to forward something, it was his work email.... I did a quick google (stalker I know!), and came across his linkedin profile... he did his LC 8 years earlier than he should have... either he's very advanced, or he's a liar...

I mentioned it, and he went mad ringing, texting...said I was a nutcase and he would have told me his age when we met cos it wasn't really any of my business in the first place.

So he's 8 years older than he said, making him 18 years older than me... and I was already a bit wary of such an age gap.... thankfully I was a 'nutcase stalker' and did a quick google....

HellFireClub

Maguined wrote: »

You are giving your reasons and explanations of your choice yet you make assumptions about other peoples reasons and choices. You don't want to add someone to Facebook you haven't met then fine that's your call. However to label anyone that wants to view a Facebook page first as a time waster and paranoid is unfair IMHO.

Asking for someone's Facebook page in OD is them trying to weed out time wasters themselves.

I've never looked at a profile on POF and thought to myself, "this person might not be as they are portraying themselves here on this profile"... On that basis, the idea of wanting to start rummaging & nosing through social media sites for the purposes of trying to "validate" someone, is alien to me.

If I found myself thinking that, I'd give the whole gig a miss. There has to be some degree of trust for OD to work.

Pembily

I won't add anyone on FB until I have met them at least a few times and consider them a friend. Yes I am paranoid but it's my prerogative!! I have a good bit on FB and I don't see the point in adding people and restricting them.

Add them or don't add them, plain and simple. I won't give my phone number to anyone until we have decided we will meet up and after a few messages on online dating site.

mood

tatumkelly wrote: »

Social networking is an interesting topic when it comes to online dating. I've been chatting to, and was planning to meet someone at the weekend. He gave me his email address to forward something, it was his work email.... I did a quick google (stalker I know!), and came across his linkedin profile... he did his LC 8 years earlier than he should have... either he's very advanced, or he's a liar...

I mentioned it, and he went mad ringing, texting...said I was a nutcase and he would have told me his age when we met cos it wasn't really any of my business in the first place.

So he's 8 years older than he said, making him 18 years older than me... and I was already a bit wary of such an age gap.... thankfully I was a 'nutcase stalker' and did a quick google....

Did he really think you wouldn't notice??? I don't get why people tell such crazy lies.

Hardonraging

tatumkelly wrote: »

Social networking is an interesting topic when it comes to online dating. I've been chatting to, and was planning to meet someone at the weekend. He gave me his email address to forward something, it was his work email.... I did a quick google (stalker I know!), and came across his linkedin profile... he did his LC 8 years earlier than he should have... either he's very advanced, or he's a liar...

I mentioned it, and he went mad ringing, texting...said I was a nutcase and he would have told me his age when we met cos it wasn't really any of my business in the first place.

So he's 8 years older than he said, making him 18 years older than me... and I was already a bit wary of such an age gap.... thankfully I was a 'nutcase stalker' and did a quick google....

That's a new level of crazy, 18 years a a pretty large gap tho, didnt he not think you've notice when you met ?

HellFireClub

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

Why do you assume that if someone wants to view your facebook page that there is something wrong with them???

Some people ARE interested in swapping those details....so you shouldnt be such a critic of other people's opinions, you come across so aggressive in all of your posts!!!

I assume that they do not accept, as a working assumption, that I am who I say I am. Therefore I have no interest in pursuing a conversation with them, because dating & trying to find potential relationships is complicated enough without having to start out by having to convince someone that you are who and what you say you are.

I don't think such people have anything "wrong" with them, apart from them maybe suffering under a somewhat unhealthy dose of general cynicism.

What you find "aggressive" about my fairly reasonable position on the FB subject, I genuinely don't understand.

Maguined

HellFireClub wrote: »

I've never looked at a profile on POF and thought to myself, "this person might not be as they are portraying themselves here on this profile"... On that basis, the idea of wanting to start rummaging & nosing through social media sites for the purposes of trying to "validate" someone, is alien to me.

If I found myself thinking that, I'd give the whole gig a miss. There has to be some degree of trust for OD to work.

Look I am not saying your choice for how you use your Facebook in wrong or invalid, merely that labelling someone for doing things differently than you is unfair when you label them paranoid.

Everything you accuse others of being can easily be directed back on your own choice. You talk about trust in OD, then by that very definition your refusal to accept them to your Facebook is a lack of trust?

I have no problem with people only adding friends on Facebook, I just think it's ridiculous to label someone that would want to view your Facebook prior to meeting up as paranoid and time wasting.

HellFireClub

Maguined wrote: »

Look I am not saying your choice for how you use your Facebook in wrong or invalid, merely that labelling someone for doing things differently than you is unfair when you label them paranoid.

Everything you accuse others of being can easily be directed back on your own choice. You talk about trust in OD, then by that very definition your refusal to accept them to your Facebook is a lack of trust?

I have no problem with people only adding friends on Facebook, I just think it's ridiculous to label someone that would want to view your Facebook prior to meeting up as paranoid and time wasting.

It's got nothing to do with "trust" at my end, I just don't want complete & total strangers who I haven't met and might never meet, on my FB friends list, in the same way that I wouldn't be happy coming down the stairs in the morning to have my Cornflakes and finding dozens of complete strangers sitting at my kitchen table!

tatumkelly

mood wrote: »

Did he really think you wouldn't notice??? I don't get why people tell such crazy lies.

Hardonraging wrote: »

That's a new level of crazy, 18 years a a pretty large gap tho, didnt he not think you've notice when you met ?

He said he thought we'd been getting on so well, that it wouldn't matter when he told me. :rolleyes:

Other interesting mails lately 'Wanna ride' or a guy who keeps mailing me asking why I won't reply, and then mailing again saying it's clearly because he's so hideous and sad....:eek:

Maguined

HellFireClub wrote: »

It's got nothing to do with "trust" at my end, I just don't want complete & total strangers who I haven't met and might never meet, on my FB friends list, in the same way that I wouldn't be happy coming down the stairs in the morning to have my Cornflakes and finding dozens of complete strangers sitting at my kitchen table!

Yes you know your reasons on your end. You don't know the reasons and justifications about the people that like to see a Facebook first so maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and don't make the assumption they are paranoid and time wasters then? As they could easily view your position as being a lack of trust.