The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

cantdecide

Panthro wrote: »

I'd feel pretty hallow about myself personally

Me too. I wouldn't hold it against a girl for doing it but at the same time, I'd never multi-date.

Daveysil15

brokegirl wrote: »

I've dabbled in online dating in the past. My friend thinks I should sigh up again. I would only I'm unemployed with not much money for going out.I also think my unemployment status will out men off. Do you think I'm right to wait until I get a job before rejoining?

If you're anyway decent looking guys won't care what you're employment status is. Is been un-employed or even working for minimum wage a deal-breaker these days?

Panthro wrote: »

The idea of multiple dating wouldn't appeal to me in the slightest to be honest. I can't get my head round the idea of meeting up with someone a few times, having a few "firsts" such as kissing etc, only to go off a few days later and possibly do the same thing all over again but with someone else, in my mind it would take away from the 1st date and the "buzz" I'd have gotten from it completely.
I'd feel pretty hallow about myself personally, I'm glad I'm a useless multi-tasker!

I agree. With so many options it would leave you spoilt and you wouldn't appreciate the person as much if you knew you had multiple dates lined up around the corner.

Piliger

What's up with POF today ... I log in and my matches are full of UK and NI ladies ...... FFS

Daveysil15

Piliger wrote: »

What's up with POF today ... I log in and my matches are full of UK and NI ladies ...... FFS

Those match things are useless I think. The only matches I get are either over weight women in Mullingar, or stunning looking women in Moscow. Are these feckers teasing me or what?

riveratom

Jaypers, saw someone on POF with text speak all over their profile - age 28. Oh dear oh dear.

smallgarden

keep getting how are you messages from the same guy,try diversify conversation but always goes back to a how are you

G-Money

Am on OKCupid and saw one girl earlier who put nagging as one of the things she is good at.

That's good to know :rolleyes:

GrumPy

Finally deleted my POF profile. :pac: Cannot be arsed anymore - defo a tougher world than actually going out and meeting people. For me anyway! Had 12 dates, with 3 women over the course of nine months as a member. I feel I gave it a fair chance.

Good luck to all ye!

smileyj1987

G-Money wrote: »

Am on OKCupid and saw one girl earlier who put nagging as one of the things she is good at.

That's good to know :rolleyes:

She really sounds like a keeper ;)

mood

G-Money wrote: »

Am on OKCupid and saw one girl earlier who put nagging as one of the things she is good at.

That's good to know :rolleyes:

It's called having a sense of humour! Or at least I hope it is.

seachto7

I am wondering if online dating is the same as real life. As in, the guy has to do all the pursuing. For example, you could email someone with "hi, how's it going etc etc", they might reply "not too bad etc", a few over and back, and then it stops. Is it up to you to pursue as in real life.

I also don't like that a lot of people seem to say you can't email a woman with "hi, how's it going", where 100% of the women who emailed me, emailed me exactly that. I see so many profiles with stuff like "I'll save you the time "I'm fine" " and the likes...........

mood

seachto7 wrote: »

I am wondering if online dating is the same as real life. As in, the guy has to do all the pursuing. For example, you could email someone with "hi, how's it going etc etc", they might reply "not too bad etc", a few over and back, and then it stops. Is it up to you to pursue as in real life.

I also don't like that a lot of people seem to say you can't email a woman with "hi, how's it going", where 100% of the women who emailed me, emailed me exactly that. I see so many profiles with stuff like "I'll save you the time "I'm fine" " and the likes...........

I don't see anything wrong with it. That is how really life conversations normally start. If someone likes the look of you and your profile I think they will reply. I know I have in the past.

Daveysil15

seachto7 wrote: »

I also don't like that a lot of people seem to say you can't email a woman with "hi, how's it going", where 100% of the women who emailed me, emailed me exactly that. I see so many profiles with stuff like "I'll save you the time "I'm fine" " and the likes...........

This is what annoys me. So many complaints are made abouts the guys using the "hi, how are you?" messages, yet it seems to be ok for the women to say it. I've been using POF for over a year now, and I have never received a message from a woman with anything more than a "hi, how are you?" To make things worse, many will only reply with a few words after you went to the trouble of sending a decent message with a reference from their profile. It seems the men have to do all the donkey work.

hollypink

Daveysil15 wrote: »

This is what annoys me. So many complaints are made abouts the guys using the "hi, how are you?" messages, yet it seems to be ok for the women to say it. I've been using POF for over a year now, and I have never received a message from a woman with anything more than a "hi, how are you?" To make things worse, many will only reply with a few words after you went to the trouble of sending a decent message with a reference from their profile. It seems the men have to do all the donkey work.

Has it occurred to you that just maybe the women complaining about the "hi how ru" messages aren't the same ones that are sending messages to you? Women on online dating sites aren't some homogenous group who all think the same.

Daveysil15

hollypink wrote: »

Women on online dating sites aren't some homogenous group who all think the same.

I'm not saying they are. Look... numerous complaints are made about the male users, so am I not allowed to make one complaint about something that a lot of the female users do?

Daveysil15

hollypink wrote: »

I'm simply pointing out that linking the women who complain about those messages and the women who send them is not necessarily valid.

I'm not sure what you mean by that. Yes there are women that complain about those messages and also send them. How do I know this? Because they point it out in their profiles. I've seen lots of profiles where women actually put in their headlines comments such as, "Plenty of Freaks, plenty of weirdos, there's so many pervs on this thing" etc etc. Now I'm not saying all women do this, but if a man were to make such a generalisation he'd be sexist.

Herrick

In fairness to Davey, I've often read a girls profile that says "also I don't respond to messages saying hi, how are, hows your day going, etc. Be original and make an effort guys!"

Then I get a message from from the very woman saying "hows u x"

Also, another pet hate. "No pic no reply guys!" but they don't even have a pic themselves, I mean not even private ones!

Galvasean

Herrick wrote: »

In fairness to Davey, I've often read a girls profile that says "also I don't respond to messages saying hi, how are, hows your day going, etc. Be original and make an effort guys!"

Then I get a message from from the very woman saying "hows u x"

Also, another pet hate. "No pic no reply guys!" but they don't even have a pic themselves, I mean not even private ones!

That's actually true in a lot of cases. Best off labeling such women as spanners and give them a wide berth TBH.
That said, is it just me or in the last while (about a month maybe) has it been getting increasingly hard to find good profiles (ie: ones that actually tell you a decent bit about the person)? It seems to me like the average standard has taken a dip in the last while...


edit: I think I may scream if I see another profile that consists solely of:
"I like heading out with my friends, but also nights in with a bottle of wine.

If you want to know anything just ask!"

Seriously, it's like a whole bunch of people went to an 'online dating for dummies' workshop and got some really bad advice!
[/rant]

seachto7

Herrick wrote: »

In fairness to Davey, I've often read a girls profile that says "also I don't respond to messages saying hi, how are, hows your day going, etc. Be original and make an effort guys!"

Then I get a message from from the very woman saying "hows u x"

Also, another pet hate. "No pic no reply guys!" but they don't even have a pic themselves, I mean not even private ones!

I agree, and it's complete bullsh*t. I have often emailed women with snotty profiles and "demands" with something really sarcastic to wind them up. A lot of the time it works, they would never have mailed me in the first place, so I just wind them up until they don't reply anymore. I don't venture into any abusive territory, so it's all funny from my own point of view.

I have also taken to not replying to any women who don't have pics. I don't care what they could be potentially look like or be like.

missrandomer

I find it quiet hard to write about myself, i have my profile as quiet lighthearted. I think some people just find it hard to find the words to explain about them without coming across as up there own a** as some say that the girls come across. I think its a problem with both men and woman though.

Also, i have a question, if a guy asks you over to his house on a first date, should this ring alarms bells or what should i make of it?

hollypink

seachto7 wrote: »

I have also taken to not replying to any women who don't have pics. I don't care what they could be potentially look like or be like.

I'd be the same (about men with no pics); I also don't like when people put up a single photo where you can't see their face, presumably to allow them to get around the 'no first contact from users without images' mail setting.

I've got a date this week, starting to feel nervous already It's so nervewracking meeting someone from online dating for the first time. I haven't been on a lot of dates so that doesn't help!

seachto7

I wouldn't meet someone in their house on a first date, nor would I go if invited. Meet in a public place.

seachto7

I know some people prefer private pics, but how can they expect any success if they don't have a pic up?

mood

missrandomer wrote: »

I find it quiet hard to write about myself, i have my profile as quiet lighthearted. I think some people just find it hard to find the words to explain about them without coming across as up there own a** as some say that the girls come across. I think its a problem with both men and woman though.

Also, i have a question, if a guy asks you over to his house on a first date, should this ring alarms bells or what should i make of it?

In my opinion alarm bells should be ringing.

I had one guy email me one night. A few emails went over and back between us, all normal chit chat, then he suggested he call over! I obviously told him where to go.

Galvasean

missrandomer wrote: »

Also, i have a question, if a guy asks you over to his house on a first date, should this ring alarms bells or what should i make of it?

*DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!!*

By that I mean, yes, alarm bells should definitely be going off. When meeting anyone for the first time a public place is the only way to go. What if you turned up and he wasn't who he claims to be? Actually, I'd be inclined to avoid him outright after him making such a suggestion. Sounds very creepy and quite pervy/kinda psychoish.

missrandomer

mood wrote: »

In my opinion alarm bells should be ringing.

I had one guy email me one night. A few emails went over and back between us, all normal chit chat, then he suggested he call over! I obviously told him where to go.

yep thats what i thouht too, he seems really nice and have been messaging alot, but it just seems a bit mad to me. When i said i couldnt call over, he suggested we would leave meeting up to another day during the week. So i guess there is my answer.

It would have been my first date from OD so its really put me off now i have to say.

timewilltell

Well, after a 3 month hiatus, I've decided to give it another shot.... Second time lucky perhaps?

Galvasean

missrandomer wrote: »

It would have been my first date from OD so its really put me off now i have to say.

I wouldn't worry too much. You should just dust yourself down and chalk it up to experience. Sure, you're every bit as likely to run into a sex creep in the pub (no shortage of lads who'd bring a girl home after just meeting there i can assure you!) as you are online.

Galvasean

timewilltell wrote: »

Well, after a 3 month hiatus, I've decided to give it another shot.... Second time lucky perhaps?

Only time will tell I guess....

Alright, that was just terrible. I better go back to work! :pac:

D_murph

Still trying it here. Stopped sending messages for a while as it felt like I was wasting my time but I decided to give it another go in the past few weeks.

Same results basically. A few views but no replies and that is on POF, AF and match. Pretty depressing really but I suppose it will finally work if I keep at it.