The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

timewilltell

Galvasean wrote: »

Only time will tell I guess....

Alright, that was just terrible. I better go back to work! :pac:

*Tumbleweed*

:cool:

Pretty Polly

seachto7 wrote: »

I know some people prefer private pics, but how can they expect any success if they don't have a pic up?

I joined the online dating world very recently and have chosen not to put up a profile pic. I've got very few emails from guys, which i totally expected so i've been the one going out and doing the chasing. Its working out ok. I try to have a good opening message in the hope that they'll reply and thankfully about 70-80% have replied. I've been surprised by the amount of guys who have carried on a conversation without asking for my pics. Most do ask and i will happily show them when they request it.

That said its only early days so who knows what will happen.

missrandomer

Galvasean wrote: »

I wouldn't worry too much. You should just dust yourself down and chalk it up to experience. Sure, you're every bit as likely to run into a sex creep in the pub (no shortage of lads who'd bring a girl home after just meeting there i can assure you!) as you are online.

Good point. i didnt want to go, when he asked, its just baffled me.

You make a good point about maby the guy wouldnt be who they have claimed to be, thanks for that, i didnt really think of that. So i guess i may have been too naive.
How can you tell when someone is genuine, or is it you just have to take a risk and meet them.

Piliger

missrandomer wrote: »

Good point. i didnt want to go, when he asked, its just baffled me.

You make a good point about maby the guy wouldnt be who they have claimed to be, thanks for that, i didnt really think of that. So i guess i may have been too naive.
How can you tell when someone is genuine, or is it you just have to take a risk and meet them.

Life is full of risks. if we don't take risks, we make no progress in anything. So you make choices and manage the risk. Public places, control the communication. Instinct.

Piliger

seachto7 wrote: »

I know some people prefer private pics, but how can they expect any success if they don't have a pic up?

It boggles the mind. I have had flirts sent this week on POF with no photo ... and been added to their favourites.. with no photo ... what do they expect ?

I hate it because it only makes me look bad .. I have to ask for a photo .. then they post it .. then I say errr no ... and then they ask why ... and I look like a dick for being so photo based ......

Daveysil15

I don't know why some people are afraid to put pics up. In POF you can hide your profile, and on OKC only members can view your profile. So where's the problem?

There seems to be a bit of a double standard with online dating. I had to laugh at the woman who had no photos up, yet still requested other users to have photos in order to contact her. She probably still gets messages all the same.

I've only recently starting using OKC. Nice interface but not nearly as many women on it as POF.

Herrick

Pretty Polly wrote: »

I joined the online dating world very recently and have chosen not to put up a profile pic. I've got very few emails from guys, which i totally expected so i've been the one going out and doing the chasing. Its working out ok. I try to have a good opening message in the hope that they'll reply and thankfully about 70-80% have replied. I've been surprised by the amount of guys who have carried on a conversation without asking for my pics. Most do ask and i will happily show them when they request it.

That said its only early days so who knows what will happen.

But at least your willing to show a pic.

I had a girl message me before and I chatted back a message or two and then I asked had she any pics cause I like to know who I'm talking to. She replied saying she tried uploading one from her phone but it wouldn't work and she hadn't a computer where she was.

She then signed off saying it didn't matter as I obviusly wasn't interested All because I asked for a pic. I then had some numty message saying they knew me from RL but wouldn't say, it creeped me out a bit.

Nowadays on PoF I have my profile hidden and just message girls with pics. Cause there a serious amount of no pic fake profiles/messers I find.

riveratom

Have a date with a gorgeous-looking European girl next week (based on her photos mind). She seems cool too, based on our one-hour or so chat! She's also from one of those countries where they speak English just as well as us, which is a nice bonus.

Regardless of the outcome, after this date I'll be taking a break from OD I think.

JennyBurke101

Can I ask some advice from my date on Friday??? I dont wanna post it publicly....its basically silly girl worrying lol

mc_grens

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

Can I ask some advice from my date on Friday??? I dont wanna post it publicly....its basically silly girl worrying lol

Shoot if you want. PM.

cantdecide

Quick question;

What is considered decent flow of conversation in terms of mailing? I've been mailed by some ladies on OKC and it seems like after one or two mails, I'm getting one sentence non-reciprocal replies. I don't get it- I'd regard myself as being quite a good one-to-one conversationalist but several times I've stopped replying after receiving replies with virtually no engagement...

Is it that, they quickly figure out that I'm quite dull, is it that they're shooting so many mails around that they can't afford the time to give a proper reply, is it that I'm supposed to start 'chasing' them for replies or is it something else???

Piliger

ThinkingAloud wrote: »

Hey,
I've stalked for so long that I thought it rude not to get involved.I signed up to two sites, neither of which seem to be common here, but I deleted after 24 hours. cos no replies are soul destroying.I'm 40, so it's a different ballgame,I reallly am bewilderred why 20ish year olds do online-is it really the norm? I fell out of the loop for the last five years with work. I'd be inclined to agree with Northclare in the sense of enjoy youth. I love your comments and insights and am routing for evreryone's potential date

I am 50+ and you have to be patient ! some people don't even sign on every day I am on POF for about 6 weeks. Be patient.

Why are 20's on OD ? because it is cool. It also expands the number of potential mates a huge amount so why not ? Used together with socialising I think it is a fantastic tool.

HellFireClub

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I don't know why some people are afraid to put pics up. In POF you can hide your profile, and on OKC only members can view your profile. So where's the problem?

There seems to be a bit of a double standard with online dating. I had to laugh at the woman who had no photos up, yet still requested other users to have photos in order to contact her. She probably still gets messages all the same.

I've only recently starting using OKC. Nice interface but not nearly as many women on it as POF.

I got a new message from a girl over the weekend, she had no pic up, (I have loads of pics up), the conversation went something like this:

Her: Hiya, blah blah blah...

Me: Hiya, blah blah blah...

.... ( this went on for a few minutes, small talk)...

Me: Have you got a pic?

Her: I do, but it's on my phone, it's an old phone and I can't upload my pic onto POF with it, I can text it to you though, here's my number: 08x-xxxxxxx...

Me: (feeling a tiny bit cynical at this stage but sure I've given my num out loads of times on POF and what's the worst that could happen?), "ok, here's mine, sure text me a pic if you want".

... Text then lands in of a cute enough girl, holding a Samsung Galaxy, a phone that as far as I know, can upload a pic to POF or the internet without any hassle at all!

Her: Will you send me one back, fairs fair, I sent you one...

Me: But I have 8 pics of myself up on my profile, 3 of which were taken within the last fortnight, I'm sure I haven't changed THAT much over the last few days...

Her: But you could be using someone else's pics, guys are known to do that on this site apparently.

Me: Look, I'm cute enough but I'm not Brad Pitt, why would I put up those pics if they were not my own pics?!?

Her: I just would like a pic back!

Me: It's half 2 in the morning, I'm not going to start taking pics of myself, not when I have a profile full of recent pics that are up there.

Her: Right so, do it tomorrow then, will you?

Me: No, I won't, if you have this cynical/suspicious attitude towards people that you initiate a conversation with, maybe it's better not to bother starting a conversation at all. I am who & what I say I am as per my profile, take me as you find me or simply don't bother at all.

Her: You are being aggressive now, you sound like a complete weirdo.

Me: I'm not being the slightest bit aggressive, I just take exception to the suggestion that I am someone other than who I have presented myself as being, look, we clearly are not compatible, good look with your internet dating, take care.

miec

I have resisted the urge to delete my POF account, instead I have hidden my profile because as an older woman (well not that frickin old - 41) I keep getting all the MILF mails and it is pissing me off big time so at least I can eliminate that and just e-mail the man I like the look of.

I will talk to people with no picture but won't meet them until they supply one, however like what another poster mentioned I have received said picture (having agreed to a date) and have had to pull out which was embarrassing as I knew that I would not find them attractive.

HellFireClub

miec wrote: »

I have resisted the urge to delete my POF account, instead I have hidden my profile because as an older woman (well not that frickin old - 41) I keep getting all the MILF mails and it is pissing me off big time so at least I can eliminate that and just e-mail the man I like the look of.

I will talk to people with no picture but won't meet them until they supply one, however like what another poster mentioned I have received said picture (having agreed to a date) and have had to pull out which was embarrassing as I knew that I would not find them attractive.

I'm 36 and get loads of mails from women in their early-mid 40's, conversation wise, they all end up being a bit of banter, chat and a laugh, haven't gone on any dates though or been asked to go on a date with anyone from this particular POF constituency, apart from 2 recent women who appeared to be going down the "I'm a seriously horny housewife, are you ever up my way" road...

Honey-ec

If people think they're so gorgeous/recognisable/whatever that they don't want to have their pics public, fair enough. But for God's sake have the manners to send one in your very first message to someone.

That goes for men and women both.

HellFireClub

Honey-ec wrote: »

If people think they're so gorgeous/recognisable/whatever that they don't want to have their pics public, fair enough. But for God's sake have the manners to send one in your very first message to someone.

That goes for men and women both.

I used to reply and ask for a pic but I just couldn't be bothered now, I just delete any messages without a pic attached, I don't know what some people do be thinking using the site & initiating conversations without a pic.

Honey-ec

I just think it's the height of rudeness to put the onus on the other person to ask for a photo.

I have a new stalker on POF. And it's a chick.

HellFireClub

Honey-ec wrote: »

I just think it's the height of rudeness to put the onus on the other person to ask for a photo.

I have a new stalker on POF. And it's a chick.

When you say stalker, do you mean someone checking out your profile or someone actually showing signs of being obsessed with ye?!?

wobblyknees

wobblyknees wrote: »

I'm meeting someone later.

:cool:

Well, that went well.

tatumkelly

wobblyknees wrote: »

Well, that went well.

Sarcasm?

wobblyknees

tatumkelly wrote: »

Sarcasm?

Nope.

:cool:

tatumkelly

wobblyknees wrote: »

Nope.

That smiley looks like a sarcastic smiley.... FYP

Honey-ec

HellFireClub wrote: »

When you say stalker, do you mean someone checking out your profile or someone actually showing signs of being obsessed with ye?!?

Multiple chat requests and messages.

miec

I'm 36 and get loads of mails from women in their early-mid 40's, conversation wise, they all end up being a bit of banter, chat and a laugh, haven't gone on any dates though or been asked to go on a date with anyone from this particular POF constituency, apart from 2 recent women who appeared to be going down the "I'm a seriously horny housewife, are you ever up my way" road...

The kind of mails I have been getting is from young, young guys (early 20s or so) with pictures of them grabbing their crotch and really obscene stuff like I want to %^%$ an older woman etc. Having said that if women like the two you mentioned above are coming out with that stuff I just wish they would pair up with the stupid little twats that keep sending me those e-mails. I state clearly I am looking for a relationship but I doubt many read profiles so hiding is the way to go for me.

njs030

I was also talking to someone who kept asking to call over....wonder was it the same person!!!

I said yes in the end to see what he'd do (didn't give address though!) surprise surprise have heard very little since!! Calling their bluff seems to work!!

cantdecide

notjustsweet wrote: »

I was also talking to someone who kept asking to call over....wonder was it the same person!!!

I said yes in the end to see what he'd do (didn't give address though!) surprise surprise have heard very little since!! Calling their bluff seems to work!!

I'd quit while you're ahead now...

njs030

cantdecide wrote: »

notjustsweet wrote: »

I was also talking to someone who kept asking to call over....wonder was it the same person!!!

I said yes in the end to see what he'd do (didn't give address though!) surprise surprise have heard very little since!! Calling their bluff seems to work!!

I'd quit while you're ahead now...

Don't really get that??
Obviously didn't want him to actually call as others have pointed out its not very safe!

cantdecide

I think it's a bad idea to give these creepy guys any kind of green light. Maybe someone might recognise you from real life.

njs030

Oh I see. Didn't even think of that, thanks!!!
Less sarcasm more sense!!