The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Herrick

To be honest a lot of those eejits are all talk and are only after a reaction. I know girls that used get messages about calling over and hooking up and that and they were so sick of some guys they respond "ok so give me your num and we'll arrange it "

They never hear from the guy again :rolleyes:

Daveysil15

cantdecide wrote: »

Is it that, they quickly figure out that I'm quite dull, is it that they're shooting so many mails around that they can't afford the time to give a proper reply, is it that I'm supposed to start 'chasing' them for replies or is it something else???

In most cases id imagine its the second one. That's the impression I get anyway. Some of the attractive girls told me they get anything up to 100 messages a day. That's a lot to go through. Sometimes when I get a short reply from an attractive woman it just feels rushed.

HellFireClub wrote: »

apart from 2 recent women who appeared to be going down the "I'm a seriously horny housewife, are you ever up my way" road...

Bejasus, what road would that be?

njs030

100 a DAY!!!!!
Jeez I feel very unattractive now with a measly 10 or so!!!
Are they supermodels??

Daveysil15

notjustsweet wrote: »

100 a DAY!!!!!
Jeez I feel very unattractive now with a measly 10 or so!!!
Are they supermodels??

Ha, more like glamour models judging by some of the photos they have up. At least they like to think they are. Ahh 10 a day is not so bad. It's just nice actually. 100 a day would be too much.

Hardonraging

notjustsweet wrote: »

100 a DAY!!!!!
Jeez I feel very unattractive now with a measly 10 or so!!!
Are they supermodels??

I'm sure it's all relative really, some girls who look for NSA get hundred's, some who filter allowed msg's get less... 10 or so a day is good going ..

cantdecide

From what I've heard and read 10 a day appears to be pretty good for a decent profile depending on how you're portraying yourself.

njs030

Ah thanks!!
Though if I put my nerdy hat on here....if you have 5 conversations going then over a day it's probably easy enough to have 100.
But 100 new people every day would be nuts....I assume that's what they mean.

cantdecide

I would say those that might have 100 messages a day would have a lot of people messaging persistently whether they're getting a reply or not.

njs030

Wow!!! Ah well quality over quantity and all that!!

DerekDGoldfish

Things didnt work out with girl I met from OKC so I log back on after a few weeks of inaction and due to being such a long standing memer of the community Im invited to moderate which remindes me how long im on the bloddy thing.

Galvasean

I'm beginning to think POF is now sending out random 'x added you to her favourites' mails. That's three in the past week I've got where I've mailed said girl and received no response. I'm pretty sure the 'meet me' does that too.
Alternate theories:
- Some girls like to ad lots of people to favourites so they will get more mails in their inbox. That way when they go back to the cauldron to compare inboxes with Selma and Patty they look really popular/attractive.
- they work for POF and try to bring extra traffic to the site by luring in gullible fools (it would explain why some girls seem to be perpetually on the site but don't seem willing to respond to mail).

Cynicasean is cynical today...

DerekDGoldfish

Galvasean wrote: »

I'm beginning to think POF is now sending out random 'x added you to her favourites' mails. That's three in the past week I've got where I've mailed said girl and received no response. I'm pretty sure the 'meet me' does that too.
Alternate theories:
- Some girls like to ad lots of people to favourites so they will get more mails in their inbox. That way when they go back to the cauldron to compare inboxes with Selma and Patty they look really popular/attractive.
- they work for POF and try to bring extra traffic to the site by luring in gullible fools (it would explain why some girls seem to be perpetually on the site but don't seem willing to respond to mail).

Cynicasean is cynical today...

Or they possibly dont realise that maybe also sends a message

Armaghmagic

Might have to rethink the multiple dating approach as I have just been hit with how it affects the other party.....I was doing nothing yesterday evening so decided to give the girl I took out on a date on Wednesday night a shout, to see if she fancied grabbing a DVD (then hopefully me), but she said "no sorry, I'm kinda meeting another fella". Don't think she is the girl of my dreams or anything but it did make me feel uneasy and unsure as to whether I want to see her again or not.

We only went on 2 dates and she is well within her rights to dates as often as she wishes.......have to make that bit clear!

Larianne

I know its kinda the done thing in the US, multi-dating, but if I knew the guy I was 'dating' was seeing other people, I'd feel like it was some sort of competition to 'win him over'. Couldn't be bothered doing that.

Galvasean

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Might have to rethink the multiple dating approach as I have just been hit with how it affects the other party.....I was doing nothing yesterday evening so decided to give the girl I took out on a date on Wednesday night a shout, to see if she fancied grabbing a DVD (then hopefully me), but she said "no sorry, I'm kinda meeting another fella". Don't think she is the girl of my dreams or anything but it did make me feel uneasy and unsure as to whether I want to see her again or not.

We only went on 2 dates and she is well within her rights to dates as often as she wishes.......have to make that bit clear!

Larianne wrote: »

I know its kinda the done thing in the US, multi-dating, but if I knew the guy I was 'dating' was seeing other people, I'd feel like it was some sort of competition to 'win him over'. Couldn't be bothered doing that.

Yeah. i really think a "Don't ask, don't tell policy is the best way to go about it. I don't think anybody should tell people that they are dating others (not that there is anything wrong with that as such) as it puts them under unnecessary pressure. If I knew for a fact that a girl I was dating was dating another lad I don't think I could help but feel that I was being judged. The combined pressure of a job interview and a state exam! :eek:

smallgarden

Armaghmagic wrote: »

, to see if she fancied grabbing a DVD (then hopefully me), .

thats cringeworthy! not only was she a back up plan but purely after one thing

Galvasean

DerekDGoldfish wrote: »

Or they possibly dont realise that maybe also sends a message

There's that too I suppose (probably more likely in most cases TBH), but what I don't get about that scenario is that if you are putting a person on a 'favourites' list then surely that's an indicator that you'd like to contact that person or be contacted by them, so when they do mail you you'd be up for responding?

mood

Larianne wrote: »

I know its kinda the done thing in the US, multi-dating, but if I knew the guy I was 'dating' was seeing other people, I'd feel like it was some sort of competition to 'win him over'. Couldn't be bothered doing that.

In America everyone is away that multi dating is the norm until you have the 'exclusive' conversation. That is not the case here so I don't think it's right. Just space date out more so at least you know if there is anything happening with the girl/guy you meet last week before lining up other dates.

Armaghmagic

smallgarden wrote: »

Armaghmagic wrote: »

, to see if she fancied grabbing a DVD (then hopefully me), .

thats cringeworthy! not only was she a back up plan but purely after one thing

Smallgarden, that was a joke......albeit a bad one!

Armaghmagic

Ok I have tweaked my profile slightly to tell a little fib. Have changed my address to 'Dublin'......interested to see if the volume of messages increases??

HellFireClub

Well I've a date tomorrow with what I think is an absolutely gorgeous girl, we've been chatting for the last week, fingers crossed, I hope this doesn't sound too girlie but I've really got a good gut feeling on this one! :cool:

Honey-ec

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Ok I have tweaked my profile slightly to tell a little fib. Have changed my address to 'Dublin'......interested to see if the volume of messages increases??

That drives me mad. There's nothing more annoying then when you get chatting to someone with potential and then they drop the bomb that they actually live miles away. Why start off on a lie?

riveratom

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Might have to rethink the multiple dating approach as I have just been hit with how it affects the other party.....I was doing nothing yesterday evening so decided to give the girl I took out on a date on Wednesday night a shout, to see if she fancied grabbing a DVD (then hopefully me), but she said "no sorry, I'm kinda meeting another fella". Don't think she is the girl of my dreams or anything but it did make me feel uneasy and unsure as to whether I want to see her again or not.

We only went on 2 dates and she is well within her rights to dates as often as she wishes.......have to make that bit clear!

If a girl said that to me I'd be like 'good luck with that now'. That'd be that - finito.

Honey-ec

I must be the only person in Ireland who doesn't have a problem with anyone multiple dating, so.

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

I must be the only person in Ireland who doesn't have a problem with anyone multiple dating, so.

I don't at all - I don't think people should be broadcasting it though...also it sounds like she said it in a pretty off-hand manner too, kinda tactless and possibly not the best start all round.

smallgarden

Honey-ec wrote: »

I must be the only person in Ireland who doesn't have a problem with anyone multiple dating, so.

it depends,if its for few dates at beginning then i dont have major problem,if its loads of dates with different people then i would.with od you can be chatting to few people and happen to get one or two dates around the same time. i tend to know by second date if like a guy so its not exactly really serious at that stage.i dont think ive ever had to do it and ideally youd space them out.there are people who are "seeing" people for weeks and months but not going out with them which i dont get at all.

smallgarden

riveratom wrote: »

I don't at all - I don't think people should be broadcasting it though...also it sounds like she said it in a pretty off-hand manner too, kinda tactless and possibly not the best start all round.

in fairness to her though he was multiple dating so cant really judge her for it

HellFireClub

Wouldn't it be the worst luck in the world though, to meet someone you really really liked, (who might have been messed around in the past by a previous partner and who has a zero tolerance policy towards any messing now!), and to go on the date, find the spark or the chemistry, etc, get the second date, get the kiss, for everything to be going completely in the right direction, only to suddenly get a red card because you were been feeling a bit sorry for yourself one evening and went on another date with someone who it turns out you have no chemistry or spark with, next thing you know, you're getting called on it, and it's good luck to you and your spot creams!

For that reason alone, and being of the age where the hard learned lessons of the university of life have started to kick in, I'd be very very cautious about going on any new dates with new people, if your gut feeling is telling you that you "might" have met someone who you could see yourself forming a relationship with.

Honey-ec

Today's bugbear - people lying about their ethnicity. What's the point when it's glaringly obvious from your photos that you're not, in fact, Caucasian? Just had a message from a guy who's obviously Asian, but has himself listed as Caucasian. The fact that he's not white doesn't bother me in the least, the fact that he's lied about something very obvious does.

Same thing happened with a guy I went to school with. He's Irish, born and raised but his Dad is Indian and he's very obviously not white. He messaged me on POF moaning about how little success he was having. I had a look at his profile and he had his ethnicity down as Caucasian. I was like, maybe that's putting people off, they're wondering what else you're lying about. He said he was trying to make it clear that he was Irish, but race and nationality are two very different things.

smallgarden

HellFireClub wrote: »

, if your gut feeling is telling you that you "might" have met someone who you could see yourself forming a relationship with.

if feeling like that totally wouldnt go on date with other person