The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

puffishoes

Honey-ec wrote: »

W

That was the end of him. I'm not a big phone-talker myself but there's something inherently wrong with an adult who's incapable of conducting a short conversation with another adult.

Or didn't want his partner/wife/etc to hear him

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

What is it with people who won't actually speak on the phone at all? It's so childish. I was texting a guy before, we were getting on great. Rang him one evening, he didn't answer, but texted me back immediately going "Oh I don't "do" the phone, lol."

That was the end of him. I'm not a big phone-talker myself but there's something inherently wrong with an adult who's incapable of conducting a short conversation with another adult.

I think this girl was about 25/26, and I have no doubt that seeing my number flash up on her screen completely freaked her out - we are dealing with the text/Facebook-only generation here!

One thing I've picked up from OD is that there seem to be quite a few immature folks about - and given that an entire generation is growing up on a staple diet of Facebook, text-speak, reality TV and the Daily Mail Online (:eek:), it's probably only to get worse!

tatumkelly

I've a friend exactly like this. She won't answer the phone to a guy she's been seeing for almost 3 months. It reeks of immaturity.

I find you can tell an awful lot about someone from a 5 minute chat on the phone, it also gives a pretty good indication of whether you will click when you meet face to face.

OD is pretty slow for me these days, for some reason I'm just attracting the sleazes.

Honey-ec

tatumkelly wrote: »

I've a friend exactly like this. She won't answer the phone to a guy she's been seeing for almost 3 months. It reeks of immaturity.

My ex's last girlfriend before me was the same. He'd ring her and she wouldn't answer, but would text him immediately saying "What's up?" Get a life, seriously!

Colours

miec wrote: »

Also talking of the whole photo thing, I am not photogenic at all and have been told a few times that I look much prettier in the flesh than my pics. I have noticed this myself, a few guys I have met in the past were much better looking in real life. The opposite has happened too where the man in question looks great in the picture but looks very plain / not attractive in real life (their pics have been genuine, it is just that the camera loves them). Has anyone else observed this?

I'm a bit similar to yourself miec in that I don't tend to take the greatest photo - I've never been able to work out what the best angle is to look at the camera! A few people have also told me that my photo doesn't do me justice!

So miec don't conclude that you mustn't be that attractive etc if you're not being inundated by messages. I don't get that many either - I'd say on average it's about one a day!

The Master

Saw two things that bugged the hell out of me today

First was woman who had her age listed as 30 but then says in her description She's really 40 but it won't let her change it..

Second was fantastic too, Her profile pic has 10 people in it and nowhere in her profile or the message She sent does She let on who out of the 10 She is

Seriously, why do that?

Daveysil15

miec wrote: »

I have noticed this myself, a few guys I have met in the past were much better looking in real life. The opposite has happened too where the man in question looks great in the picture but looks very plain / not attractive in real life (their pics have been genuine, it is just that the camera loves them). Has anyone else observed this?

riveratom wrote: »

Ohh photos are a very weird one. I see women who look a fair bit different going from one pic to the next, never mind photos versus real life!(puns intended).

The photos can be tricky alright. I think people should upload at least one photo showing their whole body, as well as a headshot. That way there's no nasty surprises when you meet up. I've noticed a lot of the heavier girls will just upload a picture of their face, usually from the most flattering angle possible.

I don't like the way some people put pictures of their children and pets on their profile. Now I've nothing against single mothers, but why put half your family on your profile? People want to date you, not your dog.

smallgarden

Daveysil15 wrote: »

The photos can be tricky alright. I think people should upload at least one photo showing their whole body, as well as a headshot. That way there's no nasty surprises when you meet up. I've noticed a lot of the heavier girls will just upload a picture of their face, usually from the most flattering angle possible.

I don't like the way some people put pictures of their children and pets on their profile. Now I've nothing against single mothers, but why put half your family on your profile? People want to date you, not your dog.

i think weve got you dont like larger women davey

i deliberately put pic of me looking nice and one not so much to give a balance

Daveysil15

The Master wrote: »

Second was fantastic too, Her profile pic has 10 people in it and nowhere in her profile or the message She sent does She let on who out of the 10 She is

Yes I think its part of a game they like to play - Guess your date.

DerekDGoldfish

Honey-ec wrote: »

Today's bugbear - people lying about their ethnicity. What's the point when it's glaringly obvious from your photos that you're not, in fact, Caucasian? Just had a message from a guy who's obviously Asian, but has himself listed as Caucasian. The fact that he's not white doesn't bother me in the least, the fact that he's lied about something very obvious does.

Same thing happened with a guy I went to school with. He's Irish, born and raised but his Dad is Indian and he's very obviously not white. He messaged me on POF moaning about how little success he was having. I had a look at his profile and he had his ethnicity down as Caucasian. I was like, maybe that's putting people off, they're wondering what else you're lying about. He said he was trying to make it clear that he was Irish, but race and nationality are two very different things.

On a slightly related note I hate the term Caucasian as I think its extremly outdated and beleive European to be a far more accurate term. However using european does mean a lot of girls think im from the continent and not from Ireland.
I was told once your not a European your Caucasian which given that the Caucasus region contained all of europe, the north of africa and much of the middle east was quite frustrating.

Armaghmagic

smallgarden wrote: »

i deliberately put pic of me looking nice and one not so much to give a balance

I didn't see any of you not looking nice :-P

Piliger

miec wrote: »

Wow I must be really ugly, I get between 1-5 mails a week if I am lucky but I am not on POF every day, don't want kids but do want a relationship, over 40 and live in Co. Kildare (I hope its these factors and not just my off putting face)

I am lucky to get two replies to messages each week. And about two fresh messages each week. Never in 8 weeks from someone I liked....

I don't send many mind you. I only send messages to ladies who tweek my interest in their photos and in their profile.

I wanted so much to message a lady today. But her profile was full of travel dreams. Jeez I don't have that kind of money so I bit my lip and moved on.

I live in south central Dublin and I don't need a car to live here - so I never message anyone outside Dublin. LDR's are a b€#¢h.

Piliger

One of my major complaints about POF is I can't keep track of who I am contacted. I have sent out quite a few messages in the last 7-8 weeks and not often received any replies.

I see faces and again now and I cannot recall if I messages them before. My outbox doesn't look complete so how can I tell if I messaged them before ?

Northclare

I rejoined POF for the laugh I put in Dublin as my address,my God Dublin women are forward...
Only joined an hour and It's getting interesting :S

Northclare

Northclare wrote: »

I rejoined POF for the laugh I put in Dublin as my address,my God Dublin women are forward...
Only joined an hour and It's getting interesting :S

And I have responded by saying I'm living in Clare but decided to hit Dublin to see what happens...

Snowie

I never answer my phone

or text but I went on a date and managed to reply to them...

smallgarden

i love texting but not fan of talking on phone to people,especially on my mobile,my house is like black hole for signal so it keeps breaking up and it hurts my ear after awhile

Pretty Polly

I joined POF today and i seem to be getting a lot more 'copy and paste' type messages than i was on ok cupid. I seem to be getting more 'hi' and 'hello' messages too. I've also got a few telling me they are attached or in a relationship but they want a bit of fun with no strings attached. Both mentioned the word discrete. I hadn't even a profile pic up!
I know its only early days but i think i prefer Ok Cupid.

ceegee

Piliger wrote: »

One of my major complaints about POF is I can't keep track of who I am contacted. I have sent out quite a few messages in the last 7-8 weeks and not often received any replies.

I see faces and again now and I cannot recall if I messages them before. My outbox doesn't look complete so how can I tell if I messaged them before ?

Are you using the mobile app? the latest update shows any recent messages youve sent when you go to send another one. not sure how long theyre saved for though

Armaghmagic

Honey-ec wrote: »

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Ok I have tweaked my profile slightly to tell a little fib. Have changed my address to 'Dublin'......interested to see if the volume of messages increases??

That drives me mad. There's nothing more annoying then when you get chatting to someone with potential and then they drop the bomb that they actually live miles away. Why start off on a lie?

I understand your point but you are obviously in the Dublin area and don't realise how few messages you get due to not being from the "big smoke"......having said that the influx of messages has yet to arrive!

marshbaboon

Hardonraging wrote: »

Seems i'm not that photogenic .. at least i've been told i look better in real life .. i'm sure there a filter in photoshop that will fix that however ..

Gaussian blur with a radius of 3 pixels on a duplicate layer set as an overlay with both layers visible.

I think I look terrible in photos, which will work to my advantage tbh. Pretty sure I won't disappoint IRL if I look much better than the pic. Also it's good to weed out the shallow girls.

Northclare

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Ok I have tweaked my profile slightly to tell a little fib. Have changed my address to 'Dublin'......interested to see if the volume of messages increases??

Snap iv done the same thing,but when I'm contacted I tell them I'm from Clare and living there,there's lots of women who come down to Clare most weekends surfing and generally to chill out,or just spend their weekends back home.

seachto7

@Northclare. If they think you live in Dublin and want to suggest meeting for a coffee "tomorrow", what do you tell them?

rgmmg

miec wrote: »

Also talking of the whole photo thing, I am not photogenic at all and have been told a few times that I look much prettier in the flesh than my pics. I have noticed this myself, a few guys I have met in the past were much better looking in real life. The opposite has happened too where the man in question looks great in the picture but looks very plain / not attractive in real life (their pics have been genuine, it is just that the camera loves them). Has anyone else observed this?

Am no longer looking (luckily) but one way to know which photo to choose photo is to take a few and put them on the website "Hot or Not" in which people give scores to your photo out of 10. Then pick the one that scores highest? I think I was the first person to get a negative mark ;-) Best of luck.

Herrick

Jesus I think I've been talking to one of the most idiotic girls ever of PoF. She messaged me without any sort of pics and a bare profile. I chatted for a few messages and asked had she any pics or was she on FB if it suited better. Anyone that's seen my previous posts knows my views on pic less profiles, fakes usually.

She said she had pics twice, I asked to see them causally while making other chat. Both times she ignored the request and answered the other questions.

So I stopped replying. She popped back up yesterday with a pic or two. I messaged how was the fishing going, chatted a bit. Then she said there was no point in talking as I "judged her" her without knowing her and shes sick of being made a fool of by guys? :eek: I even explained previous fake users without pics I'd encountered.

She honestly can't understand why a person would be wary of a profile that won't show (perhaps refuse even) pics, it's no wonder she's having feck all luck on it.

Northclare

seachto7 wrote: »

@Northclare. If they think you live in Dublin and want to suggest meeting for a coffee "tomorrow", what do you tell them?

Never thought of that :S

mtjm

I've joined POF and while I don't know what to say to discribe myself. when I first contact a person I tend to do a generac type message should she reply I will talk about other things, is that a bad thing? I'm either saying too much or too little

Semele

Unpleasant experience on OKC yesterday!

I'm in the process of moving and quite happily casually seeing a guy I met on there a few weeks ago, so logged in for the first time yesterday to change my settings to just looking for friends. Up pops a profile of a good-looking guy in friend suggestions, so I click on it...and its my ex! A guy who dumped me very painfully and disrespectfully 2 years ago. I had cut him out so completely in order to get over him that I had not heard any news or even seen a photo of him in 2 years, so suddenly being confronted with an array of them was a very nasty shock. My flatmate had to pour me a strong G&T cos it was like being punched in the stomach!

And the real kicker?? He's only getting married, to the girl he left me for. His profile is all full of wedding plans and w*nking on about how love is the best thing in the world...this guy apparently didn't believe in love when I knew him. Ouch!

Had to hide his profile then as the idea of him seeing me on there was worse than me having seen him, weirdly. Have a horrible feeling I'd clicked on his profile ages ago though, not copped on that it was him and left again once I realised he was only after friends, so he prob has spotted me:o

JennyBurke101

Semele wrote: »

Unpleasant experience on OKC yesterday!

I'm in the process of moving and quite happily casually seeing a guy I met on there a few weeks ago, so logged in for the first time yesterday to change my settings to just looking for friends. Up pops a profile of a good-looking guy in friend suggestions, so I click on it...and its my ex! A guy who dumped me very painfully and disrespectfully 2 years ago. I had cut him out so completely in order to get over him that I had not heard any news or even seen a photo of him in 2 years, so suddenly being confronted with an array of them was a very nasty shock. My flatmate had to pour me a strong G&T cos it was like being punched in the stomach!

And the real kicker?? He's only getting married, to the girl he left me for. His profile is all full of wedding plans and w*nking on about how love is the best thing in the world...this guy apparently didn't believe in love when I knew him. Ouch!

Had to hide his profile then as the idea of him seeing me on there was worse than me having seen him, weirdly. Have a horrible feeling I'd clicked on his profile ages ago though, not copped on that it was him and left again once I realised he was only after friends, so he prob has spotted me:o

F*ck him.....also why would you have an OKC if you are getting married?????????? Thats so weird!!!!! I know people can look for friends but come on.....I would just go about your business and not mind him at all....he sounds like an a**

marshbaboon

Was supposed to have a date this evening. Had been chatting for a few days and seemed to be getting on extremely well. Gave her my number & she had been texting me.

She was a bit iffy about the day, pushed it from Monday to Tuesday, then to Wednesday. Then when I texted her to confirm she was still on just before I made the trip into town she said she had to meet her brother, maybe next week?

I politely declined, told her it was best to leave it. :rolleyes: