The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

riveratom

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I realise there's an element of that, but I would question the motives.

Main one can be co-workers, mates, not recognising them!

riveratom

godeas16 wrote: »

I haven't had a paid subscription for months but I logged in today when I got the usual daily mail of my matches and clicked on a profile of a pic I liked. If someone saw that and mailed me they wouldn't be hearing back.

That's the thing - on a paid site you have a wayyy higher chance of getting mails back and actually going on dates, simply because people are more serious about it all and actually want to go on dates, chat with people, etc.

shinny

I decided to give it a go as well. Sort of at the point now where I feel like I should at least make the effort!

I chose POF and will see how that goes. It's early days but have already had a few eejits. Hopefully there will be a few decent ones amongst the eejits. We'll see

Daveysil15

riveratom wrote: »

That's the thing - on a paid site you have a wayyy higher chance of getting mails back and actually going on dates, simply because people are more serious about it all and actually want to go on dates, chat with people, etc.

From what I've heard, many people have no problem getting dates on POF and OKC, some are even serial daters having as much as 3 dates a week. If someone can get that many dates from a free site why would they bother paying for a site?

njs030

Well I'm also giving up on od, of the 6 dates I'd arranged (over a few weeks!) all have fallen through for reasons ranging from broken ankles (who never got in contact again), another where the day was arranged but no time and also was never seen again.....and others who seemed to just want a yes and then lost contact!
Final straw is the few who want to chat over weeks without any interest whatsoever in meeting!!!
Good luck to all who continue, I hope you find some good ones!

cantdecide

shinny wrote: »

I decided to give it a go as well. Sort of at the point now where I feel like I should at least make the effort!

I chose POF and will see how that goes. It's early days but have already had a few eejits. Hopefully there will be a few decent ones amongst the eejits. We'll see

It depends on how you define eejits but I think for your garden variety eejit, OKC is probably a safer bet.

Do people commit to one site or go for multiple sites at the same time??

cantdecide

Sounds rough, NJS.

notjustsweet wrote: »

Final straw is the few who want to chat over weeks without any interest whatsoever in meeting!!!

Did you ask them out?

shinny

cantdecide wrote: »

It depends on how you define eejits but I think for your garden variety eejit, OKC is probably a safer bet.

Do people commit to one site or go for multiple sites at the same time??

I define them as the "Hi, your hot" types. That's it, no thought put into it really even though I say in my profile that I like people to make a bit of an effort with their message as I do and secondly it's fecking you're !!

Ah in fairness I expected that from a free site so will stay for a while and see how it goes.

I just decided to concentrate on one for now, but maybe I'll try others if this one isn't working out. I suppose hedging your bets is not a bad idea!

njs030

cantdecide wrote: »

Sounds rough, NJS.

Did you ask them out?

One of them I did and said he wasn't looking for anything more than very casual, to be honest after that I didn't. I know the other one I had chatted with alot (even asked for my number!) has met women for dates so obviously not that interested.
I'm just not suited to it I guess!

cantdecide

notjustsweet wrote: »

One of them I did and said he wasn't looking for anything more than very casual, to be honest after that I didn't. I know the other one I had chatted with alot (even asked for my number!) has met women for dates so obviously not that interested.
I'm just not suited to it I guess!

Don't write it off forever, I'd say. Some have instant success but the rest of us often end up using it as a longer term aid. I've taken a break from it too but I'll go back I think.

njs030

cantdecide wrote: »

Don't write it off forever, I'd say. Some have instant success but the rest of us often end up using it as a longer term aid. I've taken a break from it too but I'll go back I think.

Ok I'm probably just fed up of it. So annoying to search through the stupid eejit messages, find some nice ones and they turn out to be messers!

Thanks!!

shinny

I was chatting to a guy there, literally like one or two messages exchanged and then he sends his number and says he's not looking for cyber friends. I get that people are probably a bit jaded there but (maybe it's just me) I just think that comes across a bit desperate or maybe not even desperate but a bit rushed anyway. Am I wrong?

cantdecide

An organic flow is important, IMO. I'd be suss about sending a number a number so quickly. I wouldn't do it myself.

shinny

cantdecide wrote: »

An organic flow is important, IMO. I'd be suss about sending a number a number so quickly. I wouldn't do it myself.

Yeah, I just said as much to this guy and he's basically berated me. Haha, feck that!

Oh I see this is going to be fun

Mr_Spaceman

riveratom wrote: »

Main one can be co-workers, mates, not recognising them!

Fair enough, I understand that, but we're talking supposedly grown adults here, which is quite sad.

Mr_Spaceman

Daveysil15 wrote: »

From what I've heard, many people have no problem getting dates on POF and OKC, some are even serial daters having as much as 3 dates a week. If someone can get that many dates from a free site why would they bother paying for a site?

Call me cynical but the Brad Pitts' and the princesses seldom have to worry about getting dates online.

Which, unfortunately, heightens people's expectations - especially women's in my experience - to the detriment of the rest of us who are basically, 'ordinary' looking.

cantdecide

shinny wrote: »

Yeah, I just said as much to this guy and he's basically berated me. Haha, feck that! Oh I see this is going to be fun

Welcome to your friendly local OD support group. Tea?!

shinny

cantdecide wrote: »

Welcome to your friendly local OD support group. Tea?!

I know, lol! I'm really glad this thread is here, genuinely!!

CastorTroy

Was just thinking, are the girls who post group shots implying that it's a package deal? "Pick me and get access to all my hot friends"

Finally got around to sending a message to someone. I know this will sound bad but as there aren't many results for my searches, I'll just send one message at a time and give a few days before sending to someone else.

cantdecide

CastorTroy wrote: »

there aren't many results for my searches, I'll just send one message at a time and give a few days before sending to someone else.

That's my MO, too. I'm very careful about who I'll message. Maybe it would be different if I had dozens of people in my results I'd like to message but it's not a race either.

Armaghmagic

CastorTroy wrote: »

Was just thinking, are the girls who post group shots implying that it's a package deal? "Pick me and get access to all my hot friends"

I think those photos could be up for 1 of 2 reasons:

1. "I'm not a boring person; look....I'm out with my friends"

2. "My friends are a lot better looking than me so if I put a group photo up you won't know which one is me and hope that I'm one of the other 2" (providing that is her only photo)

On a personal note.......I have a coffee date myself on Saturday. Been texting this girl for a few weeks and she seems really nice:

- Can form a sentence
- Has a good job
- Isn't up her own a*se
- Slim
- Long Dark hair
- Is from Ballymena (gorgeous Scottish-like accent)
- 5ft10"

That'll do nicely! I know its quite a few days to go but something inside me has a good feeling that this could go very well......honestly think its to do with the fact that I haven't been on a date in a while. Serial dating could be overrated. Fingers crossed.

CastorTroy

Armaghmagic wrote: »

I think those photos could be up for 1 of 2 reasons:

1. "I'm not a boring person; look....I'm out with my friends"

2. "My friends are a lot better looking than me so if I put a group photo up you won't know which one is me and hope that I'm one of the other 2" (providing that is her only photo)

On a personal note.......I have a coffee date myself on Saturday. Been texting this girl for a few weeks and she seems really nice:

- Can form a sentence
- Has a good job
- Isn't up her own a*se
- Slim
- Long Dark hair
- Is from Ballymena (gorgeous Scottish-like accent)
- 5ft10"

That'll do nicely! I know its quite a few days to go but something inside me has a good feeling that this could go very well......honestly think its to do with the fact that I haven't been on a date in a while. Serial dating could be overrated. Fingers crossed.

Now I'm trying to figure out how you text with an accent.

cantdecide

CastorTroy wrote: »

Now I'm trying to figure out how you text with an accent.

Well there's Saff Effrican, for ex-awmple...

Armaghmagic

CastorTroy wrote: »

Now I'm trying to figure out how you text with an accent.

Someone is sharp this morning

She explained her accent and my Dad deals with a company from Ballymena and if she has a similar accent to the girls in that office, then she can f*ck me from a height, once she keeps talking

It might be a good thing for me to listen for once :rolleyes:

Honey-ec

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Someone is sharp this morning

She explained her accent and my Dad deals with a company from Ballymena and if she has a similar accent to the girls in that office, then she can f*ck me from a height, once she keeps talking

It might be a good thing for me to listen for once :rolleyes:

Did you not just say, like, yesterday that you don't like girls from Northern Ireland?

CastorTroy

She's not from Northern Ireland. She's from Norn Iron. Seeing Ballymena just reminds me of that ad from all those years ago.

Hope all goes well AM.

riveratom

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Fair enough, I understand that, but we're talking supposedly grown adults here, which is quite sad.

'Supposedly' is your key word there

Got a message on Sunday night from a girl whose sole photo was of her at a festival or concert or something, taking a drink from a can of beer which covered most of her face. Her message was nice enough, but do yourself a favour and get a proper pic up!!

Galvasean

Armaghmagic wrote: »

On a personal note.......I have a coffee date myself on Saturday. Been texting this girl for a few weeks and she seems really nice:

If I may... Weeks? What took you so long?

Armaghmagic

Honey-ec wrote: »

Did you not just say, like, yesterday that you don't like girls from Northern Ireland?

99% of the time yes, but there are exceptions and that accent is one of very few that I can hack, and hack just nicely. As I said it is more Scottish than NI.

CastorTroy wrote: »

She's not from Northern Ireland. She's from Norn Iron. Seeing Ballymena just reminds me of that ad from all those years ago.

Hope all goes well AM.

Thanks, and I believe the ad you are thinking of is:

"Fairhill......its a big shopping centre in Ballymena, hey!"

Will have to record her saying that......an interesting conversation starter

njs030

Galvasean wrote: »

If I may... Weeks? What took you so long?

I'm interested in this too?? Had written off the men I'd spoken to for that long....was there a reason for it, if you don't mind me asking?